Crashing into Love

Chapter Fourteen

"Raven Andrei, sandali lang naman! No need to drag me!" Natatawang sigaw ko habang siya ay tila excited na hinahatak ako papunta sa kung saan. He was smiling widely while tugging my arm.

"Hurry, Claire! Wag kang slowpoke please!" We ran together while he held my hand. The night sky was tantalizing. Ang dami na namang stars sa langit na para bang sinasabi na binabantayan ka nila. At long last ay tumigil sa pagtakbo si Raven. Nasa gitna kami ng isang crowd ngayon habang nakahawak parin siya sa kamay ko. There was a band and a makeshift stage in the middle, except that the band was missing a lead singer.

May nakaupo na kasi sa drums at yung dalawa sa guitar. There was an empty mikestand in the middle and my heart was still racing while trying to comprehend why Raven brought me here. Does he like watching bands perform?

Nakakahiya dahil nasa gitna pa talaga kami, nakatingin sa kanya yung mga miyembro ng banda na para bang naiinis. Siguro dahil bigla nalang kaming pumunta sa gitna. Hinatak ko ang kamay ni Raven at bumulong. "Huy! Anong ginagawa natin dito? Baka magalit yung mga tao dahil bigla nalang tayong sumingit sa gitna!"

He smiled at me before turning his head towards the bassist.

"Tagal mo gago! Panis na kami rito!" The bassist yelled while Raven just smirked. The next thing I know is that Raven is now holding a microphone in his hand while his other hand is still intertwined in mine. The band started playing music and my heart raced when I finally figured out that Raven planned this. He raised our locked hands to show it to the crowd and he gave a hearty chuckle before he started to speak. The crowd went wild when words sprang from his mouth. "Listen carefully, twisted creature. This song is for you."

"Di ko maintindihan

Ang nilalaman ng puso

Tuwing magkahawak ang ating kamay

Pinapanalanging lagi tayong magkasama.."

He suddenly let go of my hand and ran towards the stage. He stood in the middle and winked at me while I held on to dear heart and begged for it to beat normally. But this traitorous heart seemed captivated by Raven Andrei. Even though I told it not to, it continued beating wilder and faster and it almost defeaned me.

"Hinihiling bawat oras kapiling ka

Sa lahat ng aking ginagawa

Ikaw lamang ang nasa isip ko sinta

Sana'y di na tayo magkahiwalay

Kahit kailan pa man..

Ikaw lamang ang aking minamahal

Ikaw lamang ang tangi kong inaasam

Makapiling ka habambuhay

Ikaw lamang sinta

Wala na kong hihingin pa.."

He was enjoying this. That much I noticed while I watched his performance with misty eyes. I can see passion in his eyes while singing. I never knew that he has a great singing voice. He continued singing while I was swept away in a sea of happiness. He told me that the song was dedicated to me, and I don't know how to react right now.

His eyes locked onto mine and my inside rallied. My heart went ballistic and it started pounding in an unappropriate rhythm. Raven breathed heavily before passing the mike to who I guessed was the other singer. The singer started singing in a much softer tone. Raven jumped off the stage while still looking at me in the eyes. I gulped as he sauntered towards me with a serious expression.

"Claire Faith!" His voice created tsunamis and earthquakes on my system. I wanted to back away but I also wanted to hear what Raven has to say. I wanted to hear him speak to me and I wanted to pull him close to me.

Merong isang lalaki na galing sa crowd na may dalang dalawang lobo. One was red and the other was white. Ibingay niya ang mga lobo kay Raven at hinawakan ito ni Raven sa tig-isang kamay. He was still looking at me as if his life depended on me. And it made me feel important.

Naglalakad parin siya papunta sakin at tuwing tatapak siya ay lalong lumalakas ang t***k ng puso ko. I wonder what he's planning. I can never tell with Raven Andrei.

"Raven-"

He smiled and told me to remain silent. So I did. I waited for him to speak. He faked a cough to eliminate the nervousness in him but I could feel it. Even the tension of the crowd was too powerful to ignore.

"I know we met in a very unusual way. I was at the beach grieving for the loss of a love that wasn't true at all. You were there and you don't know just how thankful I was that you stopped to listen to my sentiments. You're not like the others who just passed me by. You, you sat beside me and told me things that a person wouldn't normally say. You gave me cryptic answers that freaked me out at first, you lifted my pain and you made me realize how beautiful life is.."

He let out a strained chuckle before continuing. "It's funny how I managed to keep my feelings for you at bay, because it keeps on raging inside me like a signal four typhoon. You make me feel special, Claire. I am not Drei, the guy with the fragile heart when I'm with you. I'm Raven Andrei Dominguez, the man who believes in second chances because he found love for the second time around. My feelings are destroying and building me up. It makes me see fire and water at the same time. It makes me feel like I'm floating and sinking. It makes me feel a little bit lost. It makes me want to pull you close to me and let you experience the own insanity you caused in me."

I was breathing heavily while my eyes watered. I hastily wiped the tears and Raven laughed while giving me the red balloon. I looked at him with curiosity but he just smiled. He then gave me the white balloon so now I'm holding two balloons in each hand. The red on my right and the white on my left.

"It's too early to say this but I'm in love with you, Claire Faith." Nahigit ko ang paghinga ko. Kasunod non ay ang malakas na pagtibok ng puso ko dahil alam na nitong may sagot na ang matagal na nitong katanungan. Raven approached me and gave me a peck, he then backed away again.

"It doesn't matter if we crash, as long as we're together it doesn't matter to me. All I know is that I want to take this risk with you. I want you with me, Claire." I wanted to speak, to tell him what I have always wanted to tell him but something told me not to interrupt.

"Let go of the red balloon if you love me too and if you want to be my girlfriend, let go of the white one if you don't want me in your life."

Napamulagat ako sa sinabi niya. Pagkaran ay natawa ako ng mahina. "You aren't giving me much of a choice, are you?" I asked, because he knows that I want him with me.

His eyes crinkled when he smiled. "Nope. I'm not giving you a damn choice. It's either you love me back or I'll pester you until you love me back." He said proudly but with a hint of nervousness.

I'm not sure what to do. I want to let go of this red balloon already because I'm sure about my feelings for him but I'm afraid. I will always be afraid. I don't want to be selfish, I don't want him to know that I'm in love with him too because I will soon die. It'll be more painful for him.

But right now, there's already this new hope springing inside of me. The urge to survive my condition is increasing but so are my fears. I want to take the risk in life and also in love but what if I end up without both? In the end, it will always be me with one foot hanging on a cliff. No assurance, no safety nets, no anything.

I started to cry, and my hands started to become damp. Raven looked alarmed and he approached me and wiped my tears. "Please don't cry." He whispered. And it felt right. I felt safe.

I cried even more. I have a decision now. And when he let go of the hug, I also let go of one balloon I was holding.

I'm sorry, Raven.