"Georgia?"
"I'll be out in a minute!"
"Breakfast is getting cold!"
She pops her head into the kitchen.
"I'm running late. I'll only have a bite."
"It's okay. I'll tuck away the leftovers for later." I look her over. "I like your outfit."
"Oh, this? Come on, Allison. Your Mom didn't raise a liar."
I laugh despite myself.
"I'm not lying. I love it."
"Thanks, I guess. What's for breakfast?"
"There wasn't much in the pantry so I made pancakes and coffee. I hope that's okay."
"We'll shop when I get back. I rarely cook around here because the school provides most meals and I really could save an extra coin." She hastily puts her hair in a ponytail before she pulls a seat. "Hey, Allison?"
"Hm?"
"From what I remember, Marcus told me that you aced your high school final exams. Why didn't you go to college? That has been bugging me a little bit."
"My family was a bit tight on finances back then."
"Really? What about student loans?"
"I didn't qualify for them." I shrug, looking at her over the rim of my coffee cup. "Poverty is a bitch."
"But your family was well off, last time I checked."
I don't want to tell her the story of my life. I don't want to explain that my parents wouldn't take me to college because they felt I was a failure in general. I don't want her to know that me having a kid at sixteen and my parents giving it up for adoption without my consent badly ruined our relationship, and I didn't want anything to do with them. I don't want to tell her all about how I moved away from home at eighteen in a bid to seek sanity, and how I wasted the money in my trust fund on private investigators in an attempt to find my daughter.
I don't go telling people about my sob story because nobody cares. They're all just curious.
So I smile at Georgia.
"Marcus's college was very expensive and they couldn't afford to pay for us both. By the time he graduated and it was my turn to shine, Dad got into an accident. His hospital bills were hefty and we were bankrupt by the time he finally passed on."
"I'm so sorry-"
I cut her off.
"It's okay. It happens."
"So, Marcus will be paying for your evening classes?"
"If I take them. I don't wanna."
"Why not? School's not fun but it'll secure your future."
I should just come clean and say that I can't concentrate on some goddamn classes until I find my daughter, but instead, I push a small piece of pancake into my mouth.
"School is overrated."
"Yeah, no." She laughs. "As a teacher, I'm very disappointed in you."
She jumps when her phone rings in her bag. She pulls it out, and she presses it to her ear. She listens carefully before she nods.
"That's okay..... No, don't worry about it... I hope she feels better.... Okay, bye... Thanks, Paris."
"That's the aunt to one of the kids. Her niece is down with a cold so she won't be in school. I feel awful when that happens."
"I bet. Sick kids can be quite a handful."
"Tell me about it. I hope she feels better soonest. She's adorable and very smart."
"She'll be okay. How is it like teaching little boys and girls?'
"Terrible. Kids suck." She shrugs when I raise both eyebrows. "You won't get it. I love them but they're little assholes."
**
I carefully choose an outfit.
This is probably the most stupid thing I've ever done so I might as well be well dressed for it.
I'm going to pay Ace a visit at his workplace.
Ace is the guy that adopted my daughter.
According to the private investigator, he owns a shop in the heart of the town. I'm not exactly sure what his job entails, but since I have the address, I guess we're about to find out. I have no idea what I'll say to him if and when I find him. Maybe I'll ask if they have any openings for jobs?
I don't know. At the moment, the most important thing to me is to set my eyes on him.
Over the last ten years, I have managed to convince myself that there's no way they gave my daughter to evil adoptive parents, and seeing this guy and hopefully his wife will set my heart at peace.
If I'm lucky enough to get a job at his alleged shop, I'll do whatever it takes to infiltrate his close circle. That way, I can hopefully see my child for the first time ever.
Tears fill my eyes as I pull on my favourite pair of jeans. I hate my parents for doing this to me. I hate myself for not being firm about my decision to keep the baby. I hate both Kane and myself for having unprotected s*x, at sixteen, without a care in the world.
Most importantly, I'm still mad at Kane, my daughter's father, for not trying to find me after my parents moved to a different state in a bid to start over and take me back to high school without drama.
In his defense, we moved overnight without a trace, and he had no idea that I was pregnant. My parents forbade me from telling him.
Naturally, I expected him to try and reach out once he found out that we were gone. Instead, he sent me a long text on i********: saying how much I sucked for moving without telling him, and how heartbroken he was that his feelings were never reciprocated.
I understood his frustration but that accusation still hurt because he knew I was crazy about him. He was my first love for f**k's sake.
A minute after he sent the message, he blocked me everywhere.
Everywhere.
That was the last time I heard of him.
I know I'm at fault and he had every right to be mad at me and to completely cut me off his life, but I still feel bad that he assumed I willingly moved away.
He knew that my parents despised him, so he should've known for sure that my sudden disappearance had everything to do with them.
He should have known that I would never hurt him like that.
Anyway, it's been ten years but I still feel like I'm not truly over the guy I dated for a few months when I was sixteen. We never got any sort of closure and I had a fricking baby with him. I'd be lying if I said he doesn't cross my mind every other day.
If only he didn't block me everywhere and moved on with his life. If only he was there for me and the baby. If only he supported me; my daughter wouldn't have been torn from me the moment she was born.
Hell, I didn't even know whether I gave birth to a boy or a girl until a few days ago when the cool private investigator informed me that I had a beautiful daughter.
Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep that night. After obsessing and searching and paying hefty amounts for the last ten years with no fruits whatsoever, the news made me go weak, and my thirst to see my child and hopefully hold her in my arms grew tenfold.
When I told Marcus everything, he thought I was crazy for even considering moving here, but then he bought me a one way plane ticket anyway.
He knows that I have to do this if I want to remain sane.
He knows how hollow and empty I've felt for the last decade.
Despite knowing how wrong this could go, he supported me because he knows I don't have a purpose in life.
Finding her is my only purpose.
I have no idea what I'll do if, and when, I find her, but I guess I'll figure it out from there. Since I can't kidnap her and escape without a lawsuit on my back, I'll try to be levelheaded.
I stare at my face in the mirror.
I look a bit crazy.
I feel a bit crazy.
I am a little bit crazy, but then aren't we all?
I take a deep breath before I pick my bag and my phone from the bed.
I hope this works.
***
The cab driver spares me a once over when I step in the car.
"You're new here, aren't you?"
I look at him, startled.
"What, you know everyone around here?"
"I wish. It's just that you're a little overdressed."
I glance at my coat and boots, then I squint at the cloudy sky.
"It looks like it's going to rain."
"The weather is always like that. We do get glimpses of the sun every other day, but you'll be seeing a gray sky more often than not."
"I don't like the sound of that."
"I didn't, either, when I first moved here. Right now, I wouldn't change anything about the weather. I think the sun is overrated."
"Well, I guess I'll change my mind overtime."
"I hope you do, too." He smiles when a raindrop hits the windshield just as he pulls into the freeway. "Oops. There goes the rain."
"I thought so."
We chat about the weather and the light traffic until we get to my destination. I confirm the address with him just to be sure, then I pay him before stepping out of the car.
I take a deep breath as I look at the vast auto repair shop before me, then I pull my jacket tighter around myself as I approach the entrance.
My heart is pounding away in my chest and my palms are clammy with perspiration despite the light drizzle.
I can't remember the last time I was this nervous.
I walk past the automatic glass doors when they part, and I clutch my bag tighter as I approach the foyer.
The young lad manning the desk forces a smile.
"Hi, I'm Keith. Can we help you?"
I discreetly look around. There are several mechanics working their backs off in the background. They have lots of wrecked cars around here, and there are a few oil spills on the floors and their blue aprons. Everyone seems to be engrossed in their work, and if I didn't know better, I'd actually think that they were enjoying this.
On the other end of the shop is a section selling spare parts. A few ladies and gentlemen are attending to the clients, and they're explaining things and nodding away at the customers.
It's a busy place.
"Ma'am?"
The receptionist makes me shift my attention back to him.
"Yeah, um..sorry. I got carried away."
"It's okay. It happens. How can we help you?"
"I was wondering if I could get a job around here? I just moved into this town and I'm jobless."
"Do you have your papers with you?"
"They're right here."
He watches me as I fumble with my bag's zipper, and he just nods when I place an envelope on the desk.
"We'll get back to you as soon as possible. Your phone number is here, right?"
"It is."
"Okay then..."
"Allison."
He smiles.
"Thank you."
He picks the phone which has been ringing since the moment I stepped in here, and I wait awkwardly as he communicates with one of their clients. Apparently, his car died on the highway somewhere and he needs a mechanic immediately. Keith neatly notes down the details as he promises to send someone over right away, then he hangs up and beckons one of the employees over.
A moment later, the good lady picks a set of car keys and exits.
"You guys are very busy." I note quietly, and Keith turns back to me.
"We are. We run shifts all day, and we accept a few emergencies at night. We love it."
"Who owns the place? Does he work here with you guys?"
He hesitates, then he nods.
"Most days."
"Is he here right now?"
"No. His daughter is unwell. Cameron is in charge. You want to talk to him?"
"Who is Cameron?"
"The manager."
I smile absently, adjusting my bag's strap on my shoulder.
"I'll just wait until you guys call me back. I doubt talking to the manager will increase my chances of getting employed."
He laughs.
"It won't. The management is very strict on protocols. I hope you get a job, though. Working here is a pleasure."
I bet.
Sparing him another smile, I turn on my heel and walk out of the shop.
My daughter is unwell?
I thought I had lost all maternal instincts in the last ten years but no. I feel like s**t.
I hope she'll be okay.
Squinting against the light drizzle, I walk away to find a grocery store. I need to shop before I go back to Georgia's apartment. The least I can do is make her a nice meal for dinner.
I still have a few places to drop my CV in quest for a job, but I guess that can wait until tomorrow.
I really hope I'll get a job at Ace's, though. I don't care what job they'll offer me. I'll take it.
"Allison?"
What? Someone knows me?
I pause at the entrance of the grocery store to look behind me.
My knees buckle beneath me as my mouth drops open, and I stare at the man standing behind me with pure disbelief.
Kane?