Chapter 4: Alone
1148 Words
Devon
The day is bitterly cold, and the thin fabric of my jacket does little to hold in my warmth. The morning sun is still a small glimmer on the horizon, and pink clouds swirl in the sky.
I smack my lips together, the sandpaper skin cracking and bleeding.
I've been on my own for so long that I've hardly noticed how different I've become.
I huddle against the small lean-to I've built, the wind still finding its way through the cracks and reminding me how lonely I really am.
When I saw her yesterday, I could hardly believe it. I knew I had been feeling SOMETHING, some strange attraction to these barren foothills, for several weeks. I tried to ignore it for as long as I could, but, in the end, I gave in.
I can still see her white fur glistening in the moonlight. I knew who she was the moment I saw her. I had been warned to stay away from other pack lands, and this one was led by one of the most powerful alphas to ever exist. Coming this close to their territory was almost a death sentence.
But seeing those yellow eyes stare back at me over that small pond had me stuck in place, frozen by the allure of her scent. I know it was stupid to get so close, but I just had to. I HAD to see her. Seeing her was confirmation of my greatest hopes and my worst fears.
Somehow, seeing her makes me feel a little less alone, but at the same time, trapped by a destiny I did not choose. I don't deserve that kind of happiness, not after all the things I've done. She deserves better.
But getting a first glance at that temper of hers made me think twice about staying. I should have known she would react that way, but how could I?
Was I crazy to think she would WILLINGLY talk with an omega? I'm a lone wolf who was kicked out by his own people. What kind of image does that present? Definitely not a good one.
I sigh and lean against the wall of my meager shelter. I moved further south than the place where I met her. I can't risk being seen again. Who knows what will happen during our next encounter? She seemed more willing to drive a knife through my heart than to talk things out.
I KNOW she felt it too, the attraction, the pull. But she resisted as hard as I had at first. I want to believe that she will give in or maybe I'll gain the courage to leave, but I don't have much hope for either of those scenarios.
She told me her given name and not that of her wolf. I hadn't told her my wolf's name either. Telling someone your wolf's name is a sign of trust and respect. Clearly, we haven't reached that level yet.
Aemilius stirs within me, scratching at the walls of my consciousness to climb out and return to her. I hold him down, daring him to overpower me. Our wills battle, but mine wins out, as it always does.
My wolf has always had a strong temper and will, matching that of my own almost to the extreme. It takes a lot of mental energy to keep us both in check.
My anger is what got me into this mess in the first place, no matter how well-placed that anger might have been. It was stupid of me to fight back then. I was small and weak.
Now that I'm older, I might have a chance. But it would mean going back and facing the past I've been running from.
I shake my head and look out at the distant compound where people mill about, talking amongst each other and carrying out their duties.
I remember that feeling of belonging, of having a purpose and people who cared about me and people to care for. All of that is gone now. I'm alone. I have no one…no one except her.
Even though I barely know her and her sheer existence sends a spike of hot anger through me, I'm desperate to see her again.
I wonder what she looks like in her human form. Even now, as far away as I am from her pack's land, I still squint my eyes and try to get a glimpse of her walking outside in the courtyard. But all I can make out are tiny pinpricks, like ants in a field.
This is ridiculous. I'm killing myself out here, and for what? What am I doing? Pining over a girl who would rather see me dead?
Then again, where else would I be? I don't exactly have a home anymore. I suppose that means wherever my feet are, that's where home is.
It's not a great existence, but it's the one I have.
Bitter remorse floods through me, and I grit my teeth against the wash of pain and rage. I can't keep living in the past, but it haunts me, soaking me with its taint.
'She's dead because of you.'
I punch the ground, the vibrations jolting my shoulder, but I don't care. The pain makes me feel something other than the anger inside. Anything is better than that.
I can't leave here, no matter how much I want to. The call is just too damn strong. I need her.
“AAAAGH!" I scream into the cold air, letting my voice carry out among the tall pines and oak trees.
I'm so frustrated that I can barely breathe. I've got to do something, but what? What could I do that would make any difference?
Then, before I sink any further into my troubled thoughts, I see a plume of smoke rising from the ground several miles southwest of where I sit.
I swallow, the lack of moisture making my throat scratch against itself.
I open my ears and let my wolf sense kick in. Distantly, I can hear the commotion of several vehicles turning on and skittering on soft ground. Dozens of footfalls scatter around the place where the fire begins erupting in a violent explosion.
No. It can't be. No.
I dash from my shelter and rip my clothes off as fast as I can, letting Aemilius take form, his massive paws tearing into the earth and running to the blazing furnace.
I can hear people's screams over the edge of the trees around me. And then, as if crawling out of a nightmare, I hear HIS voice laughing gleefully as he slices through someone's throat, their gurgled pants dying out.
I skid to a stop, my heart slamming inside my chest.
No. No. No.
He's come back. For me? No. That's impossible. I turn back in the direction of the compound. He's come for her.
- Writer
