Quintuplet Alphas's rejected mate

I'm Alvina

The dark clouds covered the once bright blue sky, now leaving no trace of the sun or the blue sky. I watched outside the window from my seat in my classroom. Any sound the other children made around me sounded far from my ears even though they were shouting like cats and dogs right next to me. I couldn't hear what they were saying as I blocked my only hearing ear with my hand, blocking all the sounds away. Yes, I'm half deaf. I don't know why or how but without any reason, I'm half deaf from my birth, only my left ear is hearable and as per the doctors, due to my half hearing there is a high chance I might go complete deaf one day.

I looked around in astonishment at the kids my age, playing, fighting, shouting and running freely like no care in the world. You may ask why I'm not joining them, cuz each time I tried, I only ended up embarrassing myself. Even though I can hear from one side it still has some disadvantages. Since only my left side works I need whoever speaks to be in a certain direction and a certain distance for me to hear them, a bit away from the angle and I can't hear them.

At first, it didn't feel that bad, as there were people outside who had far worse conditions than mine, my mom always encouraged me with those words that I'm lucky to have my other ear. I took her advice and tried my level best to act normal and be normal but no matter how hard I tried, it never worked, the wall between me and normal people wasn't invisible, just thin, but the more I grew up, the wall became that dense with the time. Now I'm 19 and that wall is thicker than ever it's not transparent anymore, it's now like a thick hard wooden door.

When I was young, I tried so hard to break it but it never happened. I thought maybe saying my problem out loud could solve the issue but that only made it worse as it led to bullying, they would shout in my ear, startling me with closeness and laugh, asking if I could hear them, making me a laughing stock. The people I trusted enough to tell my secret always used it as a weapon against me, the minute there was a conflict, bursting open my secret in the air to defeat me.

Even though if people accepted my flaw they demand me to be grateful for the acceptance and demand my s*****y, and I always oblige of course. After all, I'm not the one to be violent, I always choose peace over anything but that's not all of me. I have a side, a side that feels like me and not me at the same time. It always likes to be brooding and be in chaos, a mind dirtier than a ditch. I once was a jovial child, my mom always recalled, My legs never touched the ground as I walked, sure I wasn't easy to handle even then, but My mom always said I was like an angel.

But I know, I'm no longer that angel as this ugly side was born into me at some point in my life, and I think I have an idea exactly when this thing was born. This side only likes to be violent and eat and be lazy, and it only makes things hard for me with my problems. It always comes out at trivial times only to mess everything up. And that too a reason for my lack of social circle, cuz everyone I try my best and make friends with, can never get along with that side of me, and end up leaving me, and I can't blame them, after all, even I couldn't get along with that side of me. One thing is clear though as long as this side gonna be with me, I'm never going to get anything nice life has to offer, and that includes love.

I always felt love is something that someone like me can never get or deserve. And that side convinced me I deserve every bit of hatred and hurt I'm getting, and if I'm to love someone, that will be the cruelest thing anyone can do to them. It's almost like my mind convincing me that I'm the cruelest virus or disease, and by loving someone, I'll only end in death.

(RING) (RING) The bell rang, pulling me out of my head. Kids around me stuffed their things inside their bags and ran outside the room, mostly pushing each other and playing with each other, as I watched, uninfected by their enthusiasm or any hurry to leave. I'm Alvina, people around me call me Alvi. I'm a people pleaser. I know everyone I get close to only speaks with me because of some favor to ask or with intentions. Even though I know that, once they're done with me, they'll ignore me the next minute. Maybe because of my lonely side always whimpering at the loneliness or my ugly side spewing jealousy at others being happy, I always help them in the hope they will at least speak with me for a favor, even though I know that won't make them my friends.

I sighed in defeat, knowing full well it's a lost cause. I looked at the broken form of myself in the glass of the window. My reflection is getting worse as every day passes. My hair is a mess and frizzy; my curly hair made itself known it is impossible to tame it by any means. I once tried to straighten it, only for it to show its anger by falling like leaves in autumn, leaving me almost bald. My skin is a golden color. If not for the dark patches and dark circles around my face and huge bags under my eyes that cause sleepless nights, I'd be almost beautiful, but now I look almost ghost-like. My dark eyes are the only thing confirming I'm still alive, and my soul is still intact.

My huge form made no help for me; I'm almost 5'7'' and should have looked like a hot model with a sexy body, but my 180 pounds weight due to my curse of gluttony made me look like a huge big foot among the other short girls. Our differences made me look much older than the other girls, but in fact, I'm the youngest in the class. Sigh, I plugged an earbud into my left ear and blasted my favorite song on repeat, blocking the remaining world away, blending myself with the lyrics, and finally feeling at peace. I looked at the other earplug that should be used on my other ear, but what's the use? It's the same even if it is or isn't used. I smiled; it's one of the benefits of having half-hearing - long-lasting earbuds.

I packed everything up and made my way to the corridor, taking my sweet time just to get to the parking lot. Everyone who sees me walk always makes fun, saying I move like a snail, but who cares? If saying my life is a mess, the word won't even nail half of what my life is. My song almost ended when I heard a loud voice shouting in the distance. I turned to the side, only to cringe at the person. Brad, the popular boy in the class, looked at me with a cruel smirk, flanked by his cronies. "Did you hear me?" He asked, making weird gestures like using sign language to mock. His friends snickered at that and high-fived each other like he just made a joke of the year.

I stared blankly at their immature act and turned to leave, only to be pulled back by my hair. "I think the problem is in your eyes," Brad sneered, holding me by my hair, his face mere inches away. If people saw us from a distance, they would think we were making out, but his breath only made me sick. I struggled to be free, but even with all my weight, I couldn't even make him flinch. Even all this weight didn't give me even an ounce of energy or strength to fight or save myself. Even if I had the strength, I would only try to pull away from him and run away. I won't beat people; even with violent thoughts, my ugly demon won't fight people; it will hide the minute there is a problem and only come out after everything ends and taunt me how bad I managed the situation. "Leave me," I grunted the words out in pain as he yanked my head back, hurting my neck so bad.

He didn't let go but pulled it even back, and the back of my neck pained so bad that I feared it was going to break. "You should be happy I even called you," He sneered.

"But you ungrateful b***h dared to ignore me?" He spat.

Black dots started covering my vision, and I saw him raising his hand in the air like he was going to slap me. The thought of it being all over started screaming in my ears, waiting for the final blow that would let the darkness cover me.

When a high-pitched voice came from a few feet away, everyone turned around to see the principal had walked in on the scene. She is a middle-aged woman in her late 50s, and even though no one likes her guts, I greatly respected her for her strong rules to stop ragging and bullying.

By the expression on her face, it's clear Brad and his cronies are royally screwed up, but I know this won't be stopping them by any means. Brad's family is well off, so I know all he is going to get is utmost detention for an hour at best.

Under her glare, Brad let go of my hair, letting me fall face-first to the ground. I struggled to stand up when a pair of warm hands helped me sit up, stirring a wave of sparks in its wake.

I looked up to see Godan, he was from one of my classes and my little crush. He was probably the same height and almost my weight as me, but the advantage of being a male made him look good, with tightened six-packs and all.

He had pale skin with hazel eyes and a strong accent, which I liked so much. He was extremely silent but extremely sweet, one of the only people who were good to me. But then again, he doesn't know about my problem, and the fear of him turning against me made me not tell him.

He helped me up from the ground, a weird spark still playing at his touch. I gripped my neck in pain.

"Are you alright? Do you want to go to the nurse?" He asked, his melodic words held concern for me.

Maybe because of this extremely rare concern from the opposite s*x or something, his words made me happy. I smiled gratefully but denied his offer.

We walked together as people stared at us. Godan is popular for his silent yet violent side; he will put them in a magic hook, making them soul friends instantly once he starts speaking with someone.

I glanced worriedly, knowing full well that his being with me could cause unwanted gossip around. As when we were in class, he always only spoke with me, even though that had caused gossip about us, and now we were walking closely. But he seemed unbothered by it, so I let it go and enjoyed his company.

I walked to my bike and said bye, and he left his way. I wonder if I am the only one noticing these sparks at his touch.