I Hate Him But He's So Hot

13

She watched him walked out from the restaurant with a gait that was both proud and arrogant and it exuded his triumph. Her pain wasn’t connected with him, yes, he added more pain to her wounds but what mattered to her now was Nate. What he did to her, things he had said, his actions, everything. She broke into tears the second she had a preview of what had happened since she had left his home two days ago. What was that act for? She thought he was lovely? Were there holes she should have seen the light from? Was she so dumb as he had said not to have noticed all the flags he was showing her?

She held her chest firmly, crying bitterly. Why did she come to Florida? Why didn’t she wait until he thought that it was only reasonable of him to normally break up with her? She rested her head on the table and cried even bitterly. She was aware of the hushing sounds of the occupants of the restaurant and without a doubt she knew they were talking about her. But she was in so much pain to even lift her finger now. Nothing matter, she wanted to walk out of this place and never to return, never to remember the heartbreaking thing that had happened to her in this restaurant.

Her phone rang, and that was when she fought back with the pains weighing her down and she opened her purse to bring it out. Her eyes caught her ring, her Father’s ring. Her heart squirmed and she didn’t know when she broke into even more painful tears. She didn’t even look at the phone as she brought the ring out and stared at it with so much pain in her eyes as her tears streamed even more painfully. “I’m sorry, Dad. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken your ring out.” Her liked whimpered as she spoke and she could taste the salty liquid that was her tears. She put the ring back and her phone rang again.

It was Mark, she smiled sadly. Maybe she still had someone that cared about her. She picked the call and placed it on her ear, not wanting to speak lest her heard her crying voice and he became worried. “Are you done, Anna? Should I come to take you or you’ll get back to the hotel with Nate?” That brought more tears to her eyes and she wished she could choke on her heart. On god, this pained more than she had ever imagined it would pain her if they broke up with Nate. 

She shook her head as though Mark could be able to see her, “I’ll be waiting for you outside the restaurant, Mark. Please come here early.” She had to end the call because she knew in the next minute if she didn’t, she would end up crying bitterly and she wouldn’t want to get Mark tensed up because of her. 

The restaurant was suffocating her, she made sure to mark this place that she would never come back here no matter what in her life. What would even bring her to Florida again? Even if it was business, she would have Julia to attend the meetings, she would make sure of that. Clutching her purse tightly as she tried to clear her tears away from her cheeks even though more kept gushing down, Anna carefully avoided the pathetic gazes of the people as she walked out of the restaurant. Her chest hurt, her heart ached and her eyes were paining her with each drop of tear down her cheeks.

She held onto her purse as the moving vehicles passed in a blurry vision to her raining eyes. She didn’t know when Mark arrived until she saw him in front of her with a worried look in his eyes, “Are you alright, Anna?” He sounded like her Father, and seeing him today felt as though she would see her Father again. Anna didn’t know when she hugged him and she broke into tears.

“Mark…” her lips trembled and she kept on panting for breath, “Nate broke up with me, he doesn’t love me, he said.” Her shoulder shook as she felt as Mark returned back the hug in a Fatherly manner. She had never missed her Dad like she did today, she ached for him.

“Oh, Anna. That’s so terrible.” He silently rocked them as she cried harder on his shoulder. He had known her Father for the longest years of his life and he knew how precious she was to that man. Seeing cry was so bad because he knew if her Father was alive, he would have made sure that whoever this Nate was, that he regretted making her shed this tears. 

She lifted her teary face from his body and there was a pout on her lips, “He said I’m a bossy b***h that disgusts him, is that true, Mark? That I’m undeserving of love.” This really crushed her, and her self esteem was on stake. She knew she would have to badly deal with this when all this is over, she might even have to see a therapist due to what both Nate and Jack threw at her.

Mark placed his hands on her shoulders and softly shook her, “Oh, no! How dare he call you that? That’s nothing but a brutal lie, of course. You’re so lovely, my darling. Don’t let what he has said to get to you, okay? It’s okay to break up with the person you’ve always loved and wanted to end up with, but that isn’t the end of the world, Anna. It will hurt a lot, for some time and then it wouldn’t hurt anymore. Stay strong, okay?” Mark’s words didn’t do anything in making her feel less horrible and the pain in her heart didn’t lessen a bit. She wanted to end everything, but she knew ending her life would only worsen everything. 

It was hard until Mark coerced her into getting into the Limo and when they arrived at the hotel, he had to make sure she was fine before he left. He even ordered her some light food from the restaurant even though Anna was sure that eating would be the last thing she would do. She slumped down on the bare floor, not minding the expensive dress she would likely soil with the mascara dripping down her face or the fact that her beautifully styled hair was a mess now. Because who cared? Her heart was broken? She came back looking horrible and her heart broken to the pieces she had never imagined would be mended in the rest of years she had left.

She clutched her chest tightly, she was in so much pain. Can it ever be more painful than this? “Nate, please…” she let her words trailed off as she pulled her knees up to her chest and she rested her back on the walls. She stared at her suite feeling alien. So, all that she had once felt whenever they fought with Nate was a joke? That was never pain because all that she had ever felt was a joke, because then, she knew deep down if she kept on calling and texting him he would most likely would forgive her even though she wasn’t the one at fault and they would reconcile.

But it was different this time, they were done. He made sure that no matter how stubborn she was when it came to him, she got that into her thick skull that hey were over with and there was no going back. She could remember the pleased look on Lancy’s face when he asked her to marry him. The softness that exuded from him when he looked at her and how lovingly he touched her, how softly. She clenched her eyes shut and placed her head on her knees. The sound of her cries echoed around the room and her shoulder shook with so grief. 

She hated pain, she hated not being called Nate’s boyfriend. She hated the fact that she had to give up on being called Nate’s fiancee and later on his wife. Nate broke her, and she would love to hate Nate someday. 

❦

It was past midnight and instead of being in her gown, she was now in her sleeping dress. Not the fancy one she had put on yesterday when she thought that by the end of today, she would become Nate’s fiancee. She had a cotton long trouser with a long sleeved shirt that had a white and pink design on it. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were a shade of blood. While she was certain that her heart was ugliest thing to look at in he body. She was blankly staring at the wall as she tried to force the burger Mark had ordered for her down to her throat. Because she knew that if she didn’t take it, she would likely be sick for a few more days. And she needed the strength to get over this heart wrenching pain. 

Her phone that was on silent flashed a light and when she looked at the screen, it was Mom calling. Today, she didn’t care whether they were going to fight or the fact that what her Mother had been telling her for a long time had turned out to be true. She picked the call, more tears accumulating in her eyes already and the moment she opened her lips, she broke into tears. “Mom…” her lips trembled, and Anna realized she needed closure more than anything now. She needed to be hugged and have a shoulder she could cry tirelessly on.

Mom sighed, “I’m sorry, Anna. Cry it all out now, okay? That’s so terrible, it should hurt a lot, I know. But don’t feel so horrible, my darling.” She couldn’t even talk, she was just crying, her lips trembling as her shoulders shook. How she wished she could be hugged today as tightly as she had never been hugged in her life, maybe someone that will tell her everything will be alright even though it wouldn’t. She knew her life without Nate would be as horrible as living in hell could ever be.

She cried to her satisfaction and all Mom did was try to make her feel better, she soothed her with words and Anna was sure that if they were together, Mom would’ve hugged her until she slept off on her chest. She cleared her tears with the edge of her arm and lifted her eyes as though that could stop the fountain her eyes had turned into. “I don’t know what to do, Mom. I feel hopeless, lost.”

“You shouldn’t think of what to do now, okay? Just grieve over it, cry until your eyes hurt, Anna. Don’t try to appear strong because you aren’t and you loved the jerk so much. Face the pain with all that you’ve got, and it shall be well with you. You need a whole day to cry and grieve over him, okay? I’ll send over the jet by next tomorrow so you don’t come back looking like an alien. We’ll talk better when you’re here. You’ll be fine, my darling.” 

She had always thought that the day she broke up with Nate or if they had a terrible fight, Mom would taunt her and the first words she would utter to her will be ‘I told you so’ but today her angelic mother proved her wrong. She had always been so kind toward her and she showed her nothing but love. She cleared her tears even though more gushed down as she nodded her head as though Mom was there to see her being obedient.

“Thank you, Mom. You’re the best, I love you so much.” And she did, she had always known that she loved this woman but not as much as she realized she did now. She ended the call and sighed, maybe the rooftop wouldn’t be a wrong idea today too. She had felt better that day, staring at the moon as she spoke to herself. Sometimes she acted as though she was speaking with Dad even though she was certain that he wouldn’t hear her because if he did, even if by chance, nothing could save Nate from being dead.

She didn’t even try to look at her reflection and she left her phone laying on the sofa because she wanted to have the solitude she could be able to. She walked out of the suite and as she closed the door behind her, Jack closed his as well and their eyes met. His words rang loudly into her ears and she quickly took her bloodshot eyes away from him, she would deal with him later, of course he didn’t expect that she would let that slide, did he? Maybe when next they met, because she could feel it that they would meet again.