I Hate Him But He's So Hot

14

He watched until she disappeared from his sight, but before she got out of his sight, Jack was aware of how she had wiped her tears with the sleeve of her nightdress and he felt taken aback by guilt. He thought that she would only become furious when next she saw him because of what he did to her. He had never imagined that she would look this horrible, uncourageous to the point that she would even quickly avert her gaze from his face. He didn’t have to ask her to know that she was going to the rooftop, because that was where she was headed, he could tell.

He came out to get something to eat, maybe it was because he didn’t have proper dinner as he was so much intrigued by the drama unfolding before them that he got angry or somehow, he managed to bring himself out with the thought of seeing her when he did, and it actually happened the way he had imagined it will. He turned back into his room as he called the restaurant and ordered a light meal. To get all these messy thoughts from his mind, Jack dialled Clara’s number and he slumped on his sofa, making sure to turn down the volume so that he didn’t have to worry about being distracted while on call.

He smiled when he heard her voice from the other end of the phone, “Jack,” she called out, with that soothing and loving voice of hers. He wasn’t wrong for what he did to Anna, he told himself for the umpteenth time since when he left the restaurant this evening.

He could still hear how her voice had sounded when she whispered, ‘I hate you’ to him. It wasn’t the fact that she outwardly told him what he knew she felt about him since the first time they had met, no, it was the tone she used. He didn’t have to ask her t know that she had been deeply hurt by both him and Nate when if he wasn’t going to console her at the time, he should have left her alone. He didn’t know how he would have acted if Willa was in her position and one random stranger she had a beef with did what he did to her.

“Jack!” Clara screamed into his ears and that was when he knew that he had fallen deep into his thoughts, totally forgetting that he had called her solely because he wanted to evade from them. 

“Oh, Clara, I’m sorry I got carried away.” He chuckled nervously, “Okay, how have you been? Did you miss me today?” He asked, knowing so well what her answer will be, she did. Clara had always missed him and that was why he had to go to the airport to see the processes of his plane, he wanted to go back to California and be with her. Those succulent lips of hers, how soft she felt in his arms, how she melted whenever he touched her, he didn’t know when he gave out a blush. 

“Jack! Are you watching p**n?” She asked outward and he didn’t know when he broke into a peal of laughter.

“My god, Clara why are you like this? I’ve never done that, you of all people should know that. God, how could she even think of that?” He couldn’t stop laughing. He had always know how straightforward and if he could put the words right, blunt Clara was, but whenever she threw a weird question at him, he tend to be taken aback by her and he wondered how she could be think that way.

“You blushed absentmindedly, I had no other choice but to think of that.”

“I only thought of you, Clara. I’ve missed you a lot, I can’t wait to be with you.” It was her time now to blush, and he wished he was there to see how those doe orbs of hers looked whenever he said something that pleased her heart.

His order came and he went to the door and collected it as they conversed with Clara. It was a god idea, he realized, calling Clara before he had almost forgotten about Anna. Wait, she went toward the rooftop, did that mean that she was the one that day? That woman he sat there watching as she painfully cried? Now that he thought about it, she had the same shoulder as hers, her hair, oh god! 

“Jack! You’re lost again!” Clara whined and Jack was brought out of his reverie.

“I’m sorry, Clara, but I think I need to go somewhere.” He hated it whenever he lied to Clara, but he had to confirm something first. If she was the one that day, then it only meant one thing. Their relationship with Nate had always been a bad one, but maybe like Nate said, she had always been so dumb to realize it until now. Maybe she was still even in denial.

“Jack…” she whined, and he was on his feet already.

“I know, Clara. I’m so sorry, I’ll see what I can do to be back as soon as I can, okay? Goodnight, love you.”

“Love you.” She ended the call even before he replied her and he knew she must be sulking now. But then Clara always forgave, she always understand and her love was unceasing. He walked out of his suite before he even stopped himself  and ran toward the door that led to the rooftop. He took the steps two and three at a time and when he got to the door of the rooftop, he made sure he opened it carefully so it didn’t make any sound lest she was attentive enough to hear. Because he was sure if she saw him there now, they would fight again. She would insult his life and he was feeling so guilty to insult her back.

Behold, she was seated where she sat that day, on the ottoman and her back was facing him. Her shoulders silently shook and Jack realized how much it must’ve hurt her now. He had seen his Mother cried over his Father  almost all his life and it was an unpleasant thing to watch, not to even talk about the feelings of the one that was feeling the agony. 

As if on cue, Anna stood from where she sat and she went to stand by the railing, one hand on the railing as the other tightly hugged her body. She was still crying, he realized. And without knowing how he did it, Jack felt himself moving toward her in such careful strides that he only caught himself doing that when her crying voice began to speak. Her hand was now fondling her finger, and when he looked carefully, she was rolling the ring on her hand.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I shouldn’t have taken off the ring you’ve given me because I was expecting him to propose to me…” she began, and it was as though that brought back the intensity of her tears and he felt rooted in his spot. “I have never spoken to you about him because I know you wouldn’t hear me, but I want to talk to someone today. Mom has been nice, but she’s not the type of person I want to talk to about this, even though she acts like she understands, she doesn’t, Dad. I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you so much.” As she cried even harder, Jack realized she was emoting out a different type of grief. Her Dad was died, that was as clear as the moon that glowed over them.

“I have never told this to anyone, not even Maya because they all have seen the side of Nate which I failed to do, and sometimes even though I tried to do that, I feel so ashamed of myself. But I want to bring everything out of my chest today, and when Nate told me he has never loved me he was just putting up with my attitudes, I realized my mistake. I was the one that chased him since the first day I saw him in the company he works, Dad.” She wiped at her tears with the sleeve of her night dress and continued. “He showed me that he wasn’t interested in me but you know how persistent I am whenever I want something, I made sure I got him promoted in work, I did all the good things that will make a man fall in love with you. And when we became friends for a year, I couldn’t stop holding it in me anymore, I told him I loved him, Dad. I confessed to him first, not noticing that he has never loved me in his life.”

The memories came back flashing through her mind as though she was watching a movie. The excitement she had felt at the time, how she had so fun running from work and boarding the next flight to Florida so she could be able to meet up with him before he left the company. How thrilling it was for Anna Brayden to chase a man that was lower than her level, but he was a man she loved after all. And when they had been friends for a year, she arranged a trip for them to Maui and that was where she had confessed to him. 

If only she had been a little more attentive, she would have seen how reluctant he had been as she waited for a response from him. How the answer felt as though it was forced out of his mouth. How since from then she had always been the one making the efforts to make sure their relationship worked but he had never made even a single one. They could go for a whole month without communication for all he cared, there were things, actions she should have interpreted more than just him being busy with work. He had always been sending her silent messages that like he said, she was so dumb to understand. Or simply, too much in love to realize. 

Jack watched the way she cried as she spoke out loud all she had been holding in her heart. Her mother had seen though his lies, her best friend did as well. Was she dumb or simply in love? Maybe it was love, just like it was for his Mother. When she spoke about the proposal part, her tears intensified and her tears began to come out in hiccups. He thought that he could stop himself, maybe he should just talk himself out of this and walk back through that door, he had never heard her grief. But something pulled him to her, and he found himself walking toward an agony filled lady that stood under the moon as she cried her grief out.

“They both said I’m undeserving of love, Dad. But I know you love me, don’t you? They said I’m a bossy b***h, that I’m disgusting…” she had to stop to take a breather, because everything was too much for her frail heart to take at this moment. At least Dad loved her, Mom did too, Maya loved her as well. There was Julia, even though she knew she annoyed Julia every blessed day. And Emily, a total stranger, Mark cared too. There was Rose, if she was as disgusting as they had said she was, a stranger on a plane would never help her like she did.

“Should I give up on love, Dad? I t…” Her words were cut off when she felt as someone hugged her from behind. Strong arms, a wide and broad chest engulfed her body that was violently shaking with the grief she felt. She felt as he wrapped his hands around her waist and brought her even closer to his body. He was a strong man, she could feel that. And his body was both warmth and soothing. This time when her tears came, they just rolled down in a silent way, without any whimper nor body shake. 

She shakily placed her hands on top of his that firmly held her chest as she stared down at the busy street of Florida. She continued to work, even though she didn’t know who it was, somehow, she knew that he had been here for so long to offer this type of comfort to her. Maybe he wanted to know what she wanted to say next, “I…I feel terrible.” She thought he would answer her, but instead, he tightened his hold on her, bringing her closer to his chest and Anna closed her eyes as her tears came running down undisturbed. She gratefully took his offer of comfort, of the shoulder he had given her and the hug she had never realized she needed all this while. Whoever this man was, she would always be grateful to him for this gesture.