Being his halal

Chapter eleven.

Why, why, why is my life upside down, why can't I just be happy, why did annur have to do this, I thought i escaped from my misery, I thought I've escaped from my curse. I thought everything will change, why do I always end up this way. Why does my family have to treat me this way, every single time history repeats itself. I can't even get loved by anyone, not even my husband, not anyone.

That moment that when something bad happens, then you start to remember all other bad things in your life, thats how I felt now.

Flashback.

"Khalid, Khalid come over, come and taste the soup for me, I want to know if its nice, I don't want umma to say I can't cook, please come". I told my brother as I stirred the soup

"I'm coming hatina". "Here I am".

"Okay, so tell me how it tastes".

"Ow hatina it hurts, ow my hand its painful".

"Ya Allah, I'm so sorry I didn't know, I didn't know it was too hot, am really sorry".

"Ahh hatina, my hand" my brother wailed in pain.

"What's going on why is Khalid crying". Umma came rushing out.

"Umma I mistakenly burnt his hand with the ladle, it was a mistake.

"You what? How could you?".

"Umma it wasn't on purpose".

"Of course, that's what you'll say, Oh I will teach you what's on purpose".

In a twinkle of the eye I felt a very sharp hot pain at the back of my hand.

"Ahh umma, I'm sorry I didn't know, please umma,". I begged umma but she didn't listen as she burnt my hand but this time on purpose "ahh umma its hurts, am sorry". I told her. My pain was times the one my brother was feeling because I could see it start to have pores.

"Hatina, hatina are you okay, am sorry" Khalid said before mom dragged him with her.

I wailed and wailed till my eye got tired and couldn't produce even a drop of tear anymore.

I don't know why she hates me, why she treats me like an outsider, why she never loved me, she always blames me for all the problems in the house even if she doesn't say it.

She hates me.

If she hates me then who can love me, who can see me like I really am, Ya Allah save me and replenish my soul for you are the creator, creator of love and hatred. Show me the light, send me my angel.

End.

I can't just imagine what annur has done, how could he? Will he say our marriage means nothing, I know he doesn't love me but our marriage should at least put some respect there.

I came out of the room in despair, and disappointment. I couldn't stay in there anymore I needed to get out, to get some fresh air.

I couldn't hold it anymore, I started to cry, cry really hard, it was painful and because of those memories that I didn't want to remember were now opened which made me more vulnerable.

I'm sure he could see my watery eye right from the room, but what Does it matters its not like he cares, i can't believe I actually thought something was improving between us but its a lie, its all a lie.

Annur's POV.

Seeing her walk out of the room was the most painful thing I've ever felt, not that I wanted her to stay and watch me as I kiss hani. I'm really disappointed in myself, I can't believe I went back to my old habits, after dad warned me and advised me on the day before I got married , but it was too late for any of that she has already seen me touching another woman in her presence.

Dad warned me, he warned me about the hurt of making your own spouse sad and being the reason. He advised me, and I thought I actually heed his advice, when I let go of every of my mischievous plan for hatina, but here I am, even do I'm no worse that I wanted.

I felt every tear, every sorrow that was inside her even if she refused to let them out. Seeing her face change into something else was really bitter to me, seeing her beautiful smile whenever she's being sarcastic and her long soft hair which danced around her body whenever she's happy, with her beautiful sexy skin whenever she wears a crop top.

No I'm not being lustful, it's the truth, this is how I am now, ever since I married hatina.

All these things ran bitter inside me, it made me feel incomplete even if its just for a second.

I don't know why I answered her, she called me saying she got robbed and was really scared, so I went to pick her up thinking of how frightened she might be. You might be wandering that I care for hani, well its true I liked her once, and that was once when I thought our relationship was really going somewhere, but I was just being delusional.

I should have known. What the hell is she even doing in Paris?

"Get off me" I said to hani.

"Why, I won't , you want to go and meet her?".

"Yes I am going to meet her, hold on don't tell me you were lieing when you said you were robbed".

"No I won't let you, I was here first before her and you knew me first before her, so she has no right against me, so what if I lied hug? That was the only way I could get your attention, you're all behaving like I'm married now I can't be with you again." hani said dragging me closer.

" You're right I knew you right before I knew her but guess what she's my wife, she's a woman with dignity, pride and beauty for which I'll ever be grateful To Allah for bringing her to me. She's not like you, a liar, she's ten times better than you". I said all these things to hani I didn't even realize I was capable of saying, I can't say I'm in love with hatina but I car for her so much more than I never thought was possible.

Before I got married to her my only aim was to make her suffer and to bring hani back to me but then there was just something that changed my thinking after what dad said. She was different, hatina was sweet, loving, kind and had this aura around her that made me feel at home when ever. Even when we got married and right before we did I expected her to be rude, aggressive to me, hate me and even if she did not want to marry me, she did because of her parents. She sacrificed her own happiness for her parents, which woman does that now a days especially when it comes to marriage, upon that she acted the way a good wife should and after then should I have thrown her away and treated her like garbage? No. I don't know what's gonna happen now but I'll fix it no matter what, I'll get her back.

"You can't just leave me here" hani sadi.

"Watch me". I told her.

"Annur if you leave you'll regret it I promise".

"Try me". I told her.

"I swear for what you've done I'll make you pay, you and your family, I promise".

"You can't do anything, you're just a spoilt brat, with no destination, now get the f**k out of my house. You know what in fact stay but when I come back I mustn't meet you here, I have better things to do than to argue with a liar like you".

I ran away from where hani was to go look for hatina.

"Hatina, hatina, hatina, hatina". I called.

"Please answer me, please,".

"Hatina where are you".

There was no reply to all my callings.

I was starting to get scared which I don't normally used to be.

"Hatina, please listen to me" " where are you?". I kept on calling for more than 10minutes but no answer.

"Please I'm sorry" I whispered as I disheveled my hair.

Oh God.

"Annur, Annur, help". I heard her voice from a distance, but It sure he'll was audible enough for me.

"Hatina".

"please, please, don't hurt me"My heart raced with that one sentence of hers and I have never been so scared in my life. I promise when I get her back I'll treat her right. I'll love her like a partner should even if I try to hide it which I've failed miserably I already care so much about her.