The Abused Luna

chapter 9

Lying on the ground with plants blooming with flowers, all around me and the nature that surrounded me, brought a sense of peacefulness to me.

With no one there, to disturb me or to spoil my mood, I just enjoyed the sweet time between the nature and me.

I have always loved to be in out doors and found the Forest, the most beautiful scenery, all my life.

I would always drag my mom with me, to spend our time, outside in the natural forest areas, when I was a child.

That was also the cause of the one of my deepest regret of my life.

As that day, when my mom died in the attack made by the rogues, I was the one who suggested that we spend our time together outside the pack house, in the woods, like we usually did.

When our mom said that we would go to that place the next day, I insisted and made a fuss, making her to give in to my tantrums, like all the time.

Because I was her little angel and she never said no to me.

She hated seeing me sad and she would always made sure to keep me happy, with all her heart.

She kept that the same way, till the day she died.

But that day, Andrea too came with us surprising all of us. My elder sister Andrea was never actually liked to be outside the pack house and in the woods.

She said she would catch on to tan and the sun rays would spoil her smooth skin that was pampered and treated in the parlor.

But if I had not made a fuss and listened to our mom on that day and stayed in the pack house instead of wanting to go outside, maybe our mom would not have died a tragic and early death like that.

We would have stayed inside the pack house during the rogue attack and we all would have been safe and sound.

I too think that I was the reason, my stupid stubborn self, was the reason for my mom's cause of death.

Only if….All I can think of now was only if….those useless, ‘only if' cases.

Just for a second, I forgot about everything that has happened for the last few years and imagined that, if we had stayed inside the pack house, instead in the forest area that day, the outcome of that tragic day would have been totally different.

Now I wouldn’t be treated badly, by my very own pack members who once adored and loved me.

My dad, my brother Sebby and my sister Andrea wouldn't hate me like now and wouldn't hurt me both physically and emotionally.

I would have been the Little princess to my dad.

The little sister whom he loved and doted the most to my brother Sebby and a little sister to my elder sister Andrea.

I would have had my mom with me, on this day to spend time with me and she would have organized a big party for my upcoming 18th birthday, that is on tomorrow.

She would have went with me to do shopping and would have bought my birthday dress with her own hands, according to her taste.

Thinking all these, I just stared at the clear sky above me, without blinking for a very long time.

Soon I realised that I have been crying all these times.

Now all I can do is to cry thinking about all the things I go through in my life and feel sorry for my useless life, all by myself without having anyone to lend their shoulders for me hide my tears and pour my grievances.

As the sun went down, I got up and dusted myself. It was my cue to get back to the pack house.

Closing my eyes,I spread my hands wide open in the empty space before me, thinking of my mom’s beautiful face.

A gentle breeze blew past me, making me to feel it’s freshness, along with the smell of the flowers and the forest.

I stood there for a minute, in the same position, thinking about my mom.

The gentle breeze blew my hair and my dress a little bit.

I thought that the gentle breeze as my mom’s blessing to me for my 18th birthday.

Smiling to myself, I mumbled into the empty space lowly.

“I love you too mom. And I miss you so so much. I wish you were here, with me in person right now, to shower your blessings on me”, I said and a lonely traitor tear fell from my left eye.

Quickly I wiped the remaining tears and erased all the traces that I had cried, since nobody cared whether I cried or not and also I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I returned to the pack house and went inside the hallway leading to the pack’s common kitchen.

The staffs from the event organizing company, was running around the pack house, to do the decorations that are needed for today’s engagement party.

When I think about the engagement party between my elder sister Andrea and the future gamma of our pack Chance Gary, something inside me stirred and I had an unsettling feeling suddenly, that crept inside of me.

I don’t know why I was feeling that way and I also felt weird myself, for reacting that way, all because of the celebration event, that was going to happen tonight.

Well, I had a small crush on the future gamma Chance Gary when I was a child, before my mom had died.

All because he treated me well and often gave me, my favorite chocolates, when we were kids.

Then as days passed, we talked less, but I still had a soft spot for him, among my brother Sebby's friends.

Even after the death of my mom, I wished he would come and comfort me and be my support in my hard days.

I had my secret crush on him till then, but it all got destroyed when he too decided to blame me for my mom’s death.

His abuse made a great difference from the others, as I once admired and liked him.

But all that changed when he too started to beat and abuse me physically and emotionally taunted me, along with my elder sister Andrea.

But things got out of control, when he would look at me with a weird look in his eyes and he even touched me, without others knowing, like when I was alone.

Since it was only physical shoving, and held against his body or against the wall with him pressing from behind, I didn’t make a big deal out of it.

But I felt weird, like I hated and at the same time, I almost didn’t mind him touching me. I was torn between my conflicting thoughts.

So to avoid those conflicting thoughts, I always avoided him, as best as I could and made sure not to be in the same place as him, when no one was around.

Thinking all these thoughts, I went ahead without seeing what was in front of me.

Thank the goddess, today she was in my side. Fortunately I didn’t hit or crash on anyone or anything, when I walked absent mindedly, like it would happen in my usual unfortunate days.

As I went into the kitchen to get some water for myself to quench my thirst and wet my dry throat, from the kitchen tap, the Omega, the older woman who was in charge of the kitchen, saw me and gestured for me to go near her.

As I went near her, she ordered me to wash some used dishes, which was clearly what she was going to do by herself, before she saw me.

I cursed myself as I came into the kitchen and made it easy for her to give me work.

Instead of working for a whole day, this small work was better than my usual work, I thought and began my work.

I quickly did the dirty dishes and took a glass and filled it with the tap water.

I drank the cold water to my heart’s content which made my dry throat to feel a little better than before and looked around.

When I found that everyone was too busy to notice my absence, I quickly sneaked quietly, without making any noise and skipped out of the kitchen.

When I was rushing past the hallways and ran in the stairs, I prayed to the moon goddess, not to be called or seen my so called family, mainly the Alpha and my elder sister Andrea.

I really don’t want to meet them today and spoil my good mood. I don’t want to face my birthday with a sour mood.

When I was one floor away from my place aka the attic, I felt someone grabbing me, by my arm.

I stood rooted to my place and I had my heart in my throat. I cursed my unlucky timing and got caught by someone.

“I won’t eat you. You can turn around and look at me. you know, I won’t bite”, the familiar and rare male voice, I would hear usually, sounded beside me.

I realised the breath, I unknowingly stopped taking and turned around to look at the familiar face of Fredrick, in front of me.

He had a warm look on his face. This was the first time, I am seeing this look on his face, that to for me.

And today is the first time, he held my hand on his own initiative, instead of helping me after my sudden accident I encounter ( if you know what I mean), due to my pack members, like he usually does.

“I was looking for you since the morning”, he said.

I didn’t reply or do anything and only titled my head to one side like I usually do, in my confused state.

Seeing the confused look on my face and sensing my unasked question, he answered me further.

“Oh….Since I didn’t see you during breakfast and lunch and you disappeared the whole day, I searched for you and thought where you went the whole day”, he said clearing my doubts.

“I just went to get some fresh air, since I was not needed in the pack house, to do work anyway”, I said looking at the floor.

I looked at his red and white striped sports shoes and started counting the number of red strips, to avoid seeing him in the eyes and avoid making eye contact with him.

It became a habit of mine to avoid unnecessary eye contacts with other members of the pack, especially with the ones who had ranks in the pack.

That’s how I survived this hell, I call my pack.

Because the alpha of the pack aka my dad, ordered me to not to see him in his eyes, in the past.

And then I followed that routine with everyone, as when I avoid looking at them, most of them disregard my existence and would never bother to disturb me.

Which was the one, I needed the most. So I never make an eye contact with anyone unless it's absolutely necessary.

~*~

happy reading ❤❤❤