Chapter 10: Dirty Past (3)
***
I see what’s happening now… He’s not really giving me a choice in the matter. He’s simply telling me what I must do… and if I reject his offer and Miss Williams refuses to work with us then I’ll take the fall…
What’s with this? I’m screwed if I take the job and mess up… but if I refuse the job I’m screwed even worse…
If that’s the case then… “Mr. Carelesse, I’ll accept the job.”
If I’m going to call down than I might as well go down with style! I’ll give it all I’ve got until I’ve got nothing left. And if I still end up failing, then I guess that’s just something I’ll have to live with…
“Wonderful, you truly are the man I thought you’d be! So decisive!” The CEO praised me as he stood up and extended his hand.
I also stood up and extended my hand to shake his, I’m wearing gloves so it doesn’t really bother me, and after all it would be unforgivable to refuse a handshake.
“Thank you for this opportunity, I will strive to do my best.” I said in a professional tone as I slightly bowed my head to him.
“I have to thank you! Since we’ll be working with Miss Williams because of you, allow me to repay you with dinner sometime.” Mr. Carelesse seemed to be in high spirits all of a sudden. I guess he really wants to work with that author.
“That would be wonderful sir.” I said in a calm voice as I smiled lightly. I leave the office soon after and go back to my own department and desk.
After I sit down the realization of what just happened suddenly hit me…
This is fine… I can do it… I just have to edit Miss William’s works like any other author’s… It’s going to be fine…
I tried to reassure myself but it was no use. I knew this wasn’t a simple matter, I knew that it would cost me my job if I screw up and yet I agreed to it anyways…
Cost me my job huh… I wonder if I did end up losing this job what would happen… Would I be able to find another place that accepts me with this condition of mine or…?
I shouldn’t be thinking about this… Alright back to work.
*
*
*
I spent the entire day completely focused on my workload, I had to prepare schedules for Haley and make sure my other authors are progressing well with their work. Hm… my other authors, would they miss me? I wonder how they will react after I tell them they will be transferred.
I guess Dominic wouldn’t really care, he’s an adult and takes in everything calmly. But… Mason that little rascal, he might not be as calm, we have been working together for a while now, so maybe… He’s be reluctant to the change…
What am I hoping for? It sounds like I actually want to be missed…
Sometimes as I sit alone at home I wonder if my life really has any meaning. If anything I do has any meaning…
It’s so stupid… I spent so much time worrying over needless things and in the end I’m thrown into this crazy situation that I don’t want to be in.
What could Miss Williams possibly want with me? Or is she doing this on purpose? I have no idea what character she has, she might not be as understandable as my other authors. Maybe she’s aiming to just throw me around… Damn I’m not feeling good…
I wonder if I have anything to eat at home… That’s right I haven’t bought much these days… There’s probably nothing, I’ll head to the store before I go home…
*
*
*
As I head to the cashier, already haven filled up my cart with cheap food, I’m right before pay day so there’s no helping it… I head there but I notice someone I didn’t want to see right now…
“Lois, hello I didn’t know you shopped here as well.” Kane said in a monotone voice, he avoided eye contact with me. That’s right, don’t look me in the eyes after taking away my first kiss!
“Yeah, I’m starting to wonder if I should go shop somewhere else…” I said while turning my head away. It’s not like I can suddenly start liking this guy, I still hate him… however I somehow feel a bit sad pushing him away like this.
“I’m sorry…” After he heard my words I saw how down Kane looked, as if I was scolding a child… I can’t help but be a bit kinder to him at times like these.
“It’s fine, I don’t really care… You did it because you like me, right? So I don’t think you had any bad intentions… it just surprised me is all…” I stupidly said those words to him, Kane seemed to gain color in his face again. Damn I might have just motivated him to continue pursuing me… Then yet for some reason I don’t feel as revolted as I did before I wonder if I am becoming attached to him, at least a little bit…
“I’ll pay for your groceries along with mine… Is that okay?” Kane asked as he began unloading his card.
Usually I would definitely deny such an offer, but as I mentioned before, pay day is still several days away, so of course I accepted. “Thank you so much.” I gave him a big smile as a bonus, hey he’s kind enough to pay for them so I might as well be kind, right?
Kane smiled after looking at me and he didn’t seem to mind the extra he’d have to pay. Well… I bought mostly cheap things anyways so it’s fine…
*
*
*
After we were done in the store, he picked up and started carrying all the bags on his own.
“Let me help you…” I said in a hurry to catch up to him.
“I’ll send you off to your place, if that’s okay…” Kane said in a quiet voice, his expression remained one of a wounded puppy so I had no choice but to agree once again.
“Sure…” I said a bit reluctantly.
He sent me off to my home like a real gentleman and carried all my bags, I do think he would be a great boyfriend. Any woman would be more than happy… Scratch that… Any woman, man or living being would be more than happy to have a man like Kane.
He’s basically the ideal lover in every way… High paying job, good looks, he’s humble and well mannered… Perfect in every way imaginable…
I almost began thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad if I chose to date him… But I’ve never been in a relationship before… I think that I’d definitely screw up if I were to jump into one, especially with someone so ideal…
“This is it, right?” Kane asked while turning to look at me. I was so lost in thought I didn’t even notice we were already in front of my apartment.
“Yes, it is… Thanks for the help and the groceries…” I said as I took the bags from his hands.
“No problem… I wanted to repay you, but this isn’t nearly enough…” Kane said as he looked at the grocery bags. “Good night, Lois…”
The way he said that… Something in me felt a bit heartbroken, it was a strange feeling, I didn’t really want him to leave so soon…
Maybe it was because I felt surprisingly calm in his company… but I wanted to stay with him just a bit longer. So I said: “Would you like to stay for a bit?”
That might have also been a mistake…
“Are you sure you want me to enter your home?” Kane seemed hesitant, maybe he realized I didn’t want people entering my home because they might dirty it.
Yeah… that’s right I don’t ever invite others in… so what’s this situation, why am I asking Kane, the man I can’t stand… Why him?
“Look… it’s best if you go home now and I’ll come over another time.” Kane said as he smiled helplessly and left soon after.
At that moment I have no idea why but I felt the slightest bit of pain at allowing him to leave…