Breaking Down

Chapter 5

5

Gabi

I sat on my bed and looked around.

Droga. This wasn’t even my bed. It was just a regular bed in the guest bedroom. It could have been my bed, though. I wanted it to be my bed. Well, if Tyler had taken my deal, this probably wouldn’t have been my bed.

Heat crept up my cheeks and I buried my face in my hands, wishing I could crawl under the bed and never come out again. Droga, how embarrassing that had been. I was still shocked I had been brave enough, that I had actually proposed to him. To be honest, I thought I would chicken out and not do it.

And he said no.

Apparently, he wasn’t as desperate for money as I first believed.

I lifted my head and let out a long breath. It didn’t matter anymore. It was done. Tyler said no and I had no other choice. I had to go back to Brazil in less than five days and start college next week.

I reached for one of the sweaters spread out on the bed. I slid a hanger through the neckline and put it inside the small closet that also wasn’t mine. And it would never be mine.

The next time I could come to visit would be July, during my winter vacation. It was only February … July seemed so far away.

A little more sadness and frustration filled me, and I fought the urge to curl into myself and cry.

A knock on the half-open door stopped me from doing it.

“E aí, guria?” Bia stepped in, but stayed by the door. “What are you up to?”

“Nada,” I grumbled.

With a sympathetic smile, she walked to me and wrapped her arms around me. “Gabi, I know that face. Don’t worry. I bet you’ll love college and make lots of friends and soon you won’t even want to come visit us anymore.”

I snorted, seriously doubting that. Didn’t she know me at all? Or had she forgotten about me in the three and a half years she had been living here?

Jealousy mixed with sadness and frustration.

“So, what are you making for dinner?” I asked, changing the topic. And food was high on my list.

She smiled at me and grabbed my hand. “Come help me.”

Together, we went to the kitchen. Garrett, who was already playing video games with Gui, waved at me. I waved back at him. His eyes held mine for a second too long, but other than that, he didn’t say anything. I was glad he was keeping quiet. I didn’t need to feel more embarrassed about it than I already did.

Sighing, I glanced around. Pedro lay on one of the couches, his eyes still downcast, and Hil was on the balcony, talking on the phone.

“Are the others coming?”

Bia handed me an apron. “I think so. At least, everyone was invited.”

I took the apron and wrapped it around my waist. I leaned close to her and whispered, “And Iris?”

Bia pressed her lips together and shook her head. “She’s not answering any of our calls.”

So odd. And Pedro wouldn't talk about it either. We all had theories. The one that everyone mentioned was cheating. One of them cheated on the other. But no one could be sure unless one of them said something, which didn’t seem would be any time soon.

Bia pulled out pans and boxes of pasta and cans of red sauce from the cabinets, then she grabbed tomatoes and onions and cheese and heavy milk and some green stuff from the fridge.

“I can only assume you’re making us pasta.”

She smiled at me and handed me two onions. “Chop those.”

She knew I hated chopping. “Excuse me?”

Laughing, she took a cutting board and a sharp knife from under the counter and handed them to me. “Chop the onions.”

With a smile, Hil came in from the balcony and joined us. “What do we have here?”

I handed her the onions and the knife. “Bia wants you to chop these.”

Hil raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as she took them from me and stood in front of the cutting board.

“Cheater,” Bia whispered.

I lifted one shoulder. “A girl’s gotta do what a girl's gotta do.”

While Bia and Hil handled the kitchen, I reached across the kitchen’s island where a wooden bar stood against a wall and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Then, I snagged a Coke from the fridge and filled a few glasses with ice.

“Who wants a Jack and Coke?”

“Me,” Bia said. Pedro raised his hand. At least one action from him today.

“I want plain,” Gui said, his eyes on the TV.

“Me too,” Garrett said, nodding at me before returning his attention to the video game.

I had finished preparing the drinks when the front door opened and the rest of the g**g arrived. Hannah, Leo, and Ri.

“Drinks?” I asked as they entered, throwing their jackets and purses on the couches.

“The usual,” Ri said. He sat down beside Garrett and started commenting on the game.

“I’ll grab mine,” Leo said, coming to the kitchen. He took a Coke from the fridge and promptly went back to the living room to join the video game crew.

Hannah joined us in the kitchen for a second, then she started setting the table.

I watched as everyone moved, talked, shouted at the TV, laughed, and chatted. A well-oiled machine. A group of not only family, but friends.

The conversation between the girls flowed easily. Hannah’s ranch, Hil’s school and her move to this apartment, Bia’s party for Garrett’s graduation in May.

A new wave of sadness washed over me.

I came to visit as often as I could, and they welcomed me with open arms, but it wasn’t the same. As much as it hurt to admit it, I knew I would never be a part of it. Not really. I wrapped my fingers around my glass and slipped away to the balcony. As much as I wanted to stay with them, to be a part of it all, right now it hurt too much. I needed a little fresh air before joining them again. I leaned over, resting my elbows on the rail, and looked up at the beautiful starry sky. Here, in the middle of town, the lights muted the soft starlight, but it was still pretty, and the moon was almost full, chasing the shadows away.

I sucked in a long breath, trying to rein in my emotions. I wasn’t a crier. Quite the opposite. I was always the optimist, the one who always had a smile on her face and a hand to help. Most days, I could rival Bia's chipper and sassy spirit.

Not today.

I took a long sip of my drink and sent a prayer to the sky.

Please, please. Send me a sign. Anything. What should I do?

Faint footsteps approached and I glanced over my shoulder. With his hands tucked inside the pockets of his jeans, Garrett joined me at the rail. A long minute passed before he finally said, “Do I need to ask, or are you going to tell me?”

I sighed. “He refused. Simple as that.” I stared at him. “I thought he was desperate for money.”

“He is, I swear. I …” He shook his head. “This idea was crazy, I told you that before, but I actually thought he would accept.”

“Bom, he didn’t.” I frowned, wondering about something. “Why does he need money?”

He tsked. “I've already said too much, Gabi. He doesn’t like anyone knowing he’s in a bad situation. If you want to find out more, you’ll have to ask him.”

I snorted. “I’ll probably never see him again.”

Garrett nodded.

We watched the sky in silence for one more minute, then Garrett poked me with his elbow. “Come on. They all came tonight to spend time with you before you leave in a few days. Enjoy your time with them.”

So cheesy, but so true.

I did love them. I loved each one of them. I loved the group. I loved how I felt when among them, when here with them.

I plastered a smile, even if forced, on my lips and followed Garrett back into the apartment.

“There you are!” Hannah said with a wide smile.

“What happened?” I asked, walking up to the girls, still huddled around the kitchen’s island.

“Hil is telling us about her big showcase in May,” Bia said. She had a small grin on her lips.

I had heard about the showcase. “Oh, yeah.” I turned to Hil. “I bet you have it all planned already?”

Hil tilted her head, staring at me. “Well, almost. I know what clothing designs I'm going to use. I just need models.”

She kept staring at me.

Then, it dawned on me. “Wait. O que?” I glanced at all the girls, then to Hilary again. “Why me?”

“Actually, I’m inviting all of you,” Hil said. “I want you all to be my models.”

I gaped at her. “No way!”

“Yes, way,” she said, smiling wide.

Bia almost jumped up and down. “Come on, say yes. I already accepted it.”

I chuckled. “Of course you did.” I turned to Hannah. “What about you?”

Hannah let out a long breath. “I’ll do it if we all do it.” She pointed at Hil. “Even you. You have to go down the runway at least once, or no deal.”

Hilary groaned. “Really?”

Hannah nodded vehemently. “Oh yeah.”

Hil lifted her eyebrows at me. “Now say you’ll do it.”

“Wait … your showcase is in May. It’ll be the middle of my semester.”

“Well, the showcase is on the weekend. You can miss classes on Friday and Monday for us, right?”

Merda. She had thought of it all. I sighed, defeated. “I’ll do it.”

“Yes!” she yelped before embracing me tight.

It seemed I would be visiting my family a little earlier than I had expected, and it made me happy.