Breaking Down

Chapter 1

1

Gabi

“Hey, pretty boy.” I reached over the stall door and rested my hand on Tostado’s muzzle. “Did you have a good night sleep?”

My horse neighed, bobbing his head up and down. I smiled. If only he could really communicate with me. But maybe he could. I had had him for more than three years now. If he did understand, he would be the only one lately. Horse or human.

My phone beeped. I fished it from my jeans' back pocket and checked the message.

Priscila: Practice is canceled.

Merda.

Me: Why?

Priscila: The other girls are not coming. It would be just you and me.

Me: But the tournament is coming up.

And I would be away for the next ten days. We had to practice now, and then hard once I was back, or we would lose the tournament. Badly.

Priscila: That’s the other thing. The club is canceling the women's tournament. They didn’t get enough registrations, so they are only going to have the men’s tournament.

A wave of rage swept through me.

Me: That’s bullshit.

Priscila: I’m with you, but unless we come up with at least three other teams before next weekend, there will be no tournament for us.

Man, this sucked. We had barely four permanent girls to play on our team. We actually had six because one or more never could meet up for practice or games. Time and time again, there were two or three of us who showed up, and we had to forfeit games because of it.

Women’s polo was the worst, especially in Brazil.

I sighed.

If only I had someone to help me. Someone who had some influence and could talk to the club and ask them to keep the women’s category, even with only two or three teams signed up.

The person in my mind walked into the stable and a conspiring grin spread across my lips.

Me: All right. I’ll talk to you later.

I stashed my phone back into my pocket and turned my smile to the man approaching me.

“Oi pai.” I greeted my father. Like all Fernandeses, my father was tall with broad shoulders and bright green-blue eyes. Although, now in his mid-fifties, he didn’t have as much hair as my brother and my cousins.

“Bom dia, Gabi.” He glanced at my horse, then at me. “Going out for a ride this early?”

“No. I have to finish packing.”

His brows furrowed. “Oh, yes. You’re going to visit your brother. You’re leaving tonight, right?”

“Sim.”

“Don’t your classes start soon?”

I groaned. “Sim. In two weeks.” All I wanted was to forget about that for now. I wanted to go to Santa Barbara, have a great time with my brother, cousins, and friends, and enjoy my freedom before college life tied me down. I shuddered. “I’ll be back in ten days. Four days should be enough to get ready for college.”

There was nothing else to do, really. I was signed up for my classes, I had all the material I needed, and my accommodations and transportation were all set up—I would stay in our townhouse in the city during the weekdays and come back to the ranch on the weekends.

“That’s good.” He reached over and rested a big hand on my shoulder. “Finally starting college. It’ll be a big day.”

“Sim …” I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to come up with the right words. “Pai, hm, you know the country club has a polo tournament coming up, right?”

“Yes, we’re sponsoring it, as always.”

“So … they said they don’t have enough women’s teams signed up so they are thinking about canceling the women’s category. I was thinking that maybe you could—”

“That’s good,” he interrupted me.

I gaped. “W-what?”

“Isn’t the tournament right when your classes start?”

It would actually be a week later. “Yes …”

“It would be hard to play the games and attend classes. This way, you can focus on college. Besides, we both know that there’s no future in polo for you. You’re a great player, Gabi, almost as good as your brother and cousins, but you know that women’s polo isn’t going anywhere. You can fight for it, but you’ll only be wasting your time. Better to focus on college, which is a more concrete path.”

I clamped my mouth so the words of outrage and frustration didn’t spill past my lips, and clenched my fist. I knew he wasn’t trying to be harsh. He was just stating the facts—and he was right. I knew he was right. But that didn’t mean I had to accept it.

If I had to go to college to satisfy my parents while I worked toward my dream, so be it. One way or another, I would play polo for a living. I would live my dream. Someday.

With a happy sigh, I plopped down on the couch and propped my legs on the coffee table. Now, here was exactly where I wanted to be.

“Hey, if you’re gonna put your paws there, take off your shoes.”

The company, though.

I rolled my eyes and lifted my hand, giving my brother the finger.

He groaned, and beside him, Hilary chuckled. “Gui, let her be,” she said.

“But her boots are dirty,” he complained. I glanced over my shoulder and witnessed as my brother, my big, strong brother, pouted at his girlfriend.

Hilary chuckled again and waved him off. “You do that all the time.”

“That’s different,” he snapped, glaring at me.

Shaking her head, Hilary whirled around and grabbed a tub of ice cream from the fridge.

“Oh, I want some too,” I said.

“One scoop? Two scoops? Three scoops?” she asked, grabbing bowls from the cabinets.

Gui took the tub from her and began serving the ice cream—our Friday afternoon snack. Looking at them moving around the kitchen like they had been doing that for years, no one would have guessed they had only been dating for six months. And, last week on Valentine’s Day, Gui invited Hilary to move in with him. And she had accepted. They were moving her stuff in this weekend, and I would probably help, since I was here visiting.

We had a big party with lots of food coming up tonight, so I just said, “One scoop is fine. For now.”

“Aren't you going to ask how many scoops I want?” Gui asked her sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and handed him a chocolate bar. He wasn’t a fan of ice cream, but he always made some kind of joke when we were all eating it.

I picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV. Even Netflix here was different from in Brazil—there were more movies and series options here. And I wanted to find a new obsession to binge during the remaining nine days I had here. Not that I wanted to spend my time watching TV, but everyone else was busy. Gui, Leo, Ri, and Pedro had practice, Bia and Garrett went to vet school, Hilary would go back to L.A. on Sunday night for her classes, Hannah had the ranch, and Iris was in college. They would all be busy during the day and I would be alone. Sometimes, I wondered why I even bothered visiting them outside of holidays.

A soft shuffling sound came from the hallway leading to the bedrooms and Pedro came into the room, dragging his flip-flops across the hardwood floor. He looked like s**t—apparently he and Iris had had a big fight and hadn’t spoken in four days. And Pedro refused to tell anyone about it.

“I heard the word scoops.” Even his voice sounded like s**t. He glanced at Hilary, then shifted his gaze to the bowls of ice cream. “Can I have some too, please?”

“Sure,” Hil said. She reached behind them and grabbed another bowl, and Gui served him.

Pedro plopped down on the couch beside me and started devouring his ice cream.

I couldn’t take his miserable looks. “Want to talk about it?”

“No,” he grumbled.

“Okay.” I scooted a little away from him, pretending I was afraid of him. “Sorry for asking.”

He sighed and looked at me. “No, sorry. I’m just …” He sighed again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Hil and Gui joined us in the living room. They sat on the other couch and Gui put his feet up the coffee table—but he had on socks.

Trying to break the awkward silence, Hil glanced at me. “Gui told me your classes start in March. Vet school without pre-vet. So cool.”

In Brazil, there was no pre-vet, pre-med, or pre-law. A person wanting to become a veterinarian only needed to apply for it and take a test called vestibular. If the person passed it, she was in. Those majors took one or two years longer than other degrees.

“Not that cool, when you don’t really want to do it,” I muttered, shoving my spoon in my ice cream.

“Give it a chance,” Gui said. He had already finished his chocolate bar. “Maybe you’ll love it and won’t want to do anything else.”

“I doubt it.”

“You'll see,” my brother said. “I bet it’ll change everything.”

Hilary scrunched her nose. “March. What an odd time to start the semester.”

“You have to remember that it’s still summer there right now,” Pedro said, surprising us. I thought he was lost in thought, but apparently he had been paying attention to our conversation. “The school year goes from March to early December, with a two- or three-week break between semesters in July, when it’s winter.”

Hil nodded. “Right. I keep forgetting that.” She turned her eyes to me again. “Just two more weeks, then. I don’t get it. It’s impossible that you aren’t at least a little excited.”

I groaned. “At first, I thought I would be, but now that it’s getting close … ugh, I’m so not ready for this.” And, even though I had just turned twenty, most of my classmates would be eighteen or nineteen. I know. One or two years didn’t really make a huge difference, but since I was trying to run away from college, any excuse was a good excuse. “I want to play polo.”

Pedro frowned. “I thought you were playing. Don’t you have a tournament coming up?”

“I wish. I have six gurias on my team, and if I can get two together to practice, it’s a miracle. As for the tournament …” Frustration filled my chest as I remembered it. “The club isn’t having it. There will be no women’s category. Again.”

My brother tsked. “That sucks.”

“It does,” I whispered. “If only there was a women’s team at the club here. They could hire me and give me a visa, like they did with you guys.”

“I don’t think there are any women’s teams around here,” Gui said.

“Yeah, never heard of any,” Pedro said. “Only private groups, I think, but those won’t get you a visa.”

My chest deflated some more. “I know they won’t.”

Hil reached across the couches and held my hand in hers. “Don’t worry too much, Gabi. I’m sure things will work out the way they are supposed to.”

I squeezed her hand and offered her a small smile, glad this beautiful, amazing girl was my brother’s girlfriend and my dear friend.

Although, as much as I would love to believe her, I wasn’t so sure.

I should have given Bia some credit. My cousin wouldn’t do anything halfway, so when she mentioned having Garrett’s surprise birthday party at a restaurant, I thought it was odd. At a restaurant? So it would be only us—and “only us” was already a lot of people. I had expected more from her.

We stopped at the restaurant’s hostess. She led us to a back room and I knew I had been right. Bia didn’t do anything halfway.

The back room was a large event room with tables and chairs lining the place, a bar along the back wall, a small dance floor in the middle, and double glass doors that led directly to the restaurant's bar.

When we arrived, the place was already half full.

“I thought Garrett was from out of town,” I said as we walked into the back room.

“He is, but you know Bia,” Gui said. He held Hil’s hand tightly in his. It was cute. “She’s friends with everyone, so everyone is friends with Garrett too.”

Beside me, Pedro groaned. “I think I’m gonna just …” He gestured toward the bar, and without saying hi to anyone, he sidestepped and made a beeline to the bar.

Before we left the apartment, Pedro had complained about having to come to a party. We almost left him there, but Gui insisted Bia would be upset with him, and Garrett was his friend, so Pedro agreed to come. I guess he'd be drowning his sorrows with alcohol all night long.

“I wish there was something we could do to make him feel better,” Hil said.

“Have any of you talked to Iris?” I asked.

“Bia said she tried, but Iris shut her out,” Gui said.

That didn’t make sense.

We reached the sea of people and found the rest of our family. A big table had been set up for us. Tio João Pedro and tia Agnes sat in the center, while Ri, Leo, and Hannah stood a few steps behind them, talking and laughing. In the small crowd, I also recognized Reese, Malcolm, Lucas, Megan, Blaire, and Andrea, and more people from the club. But there were a lot of twenty-something girls and guys here who I didn’t know.

After greeting a few people we knew, Gui, Hil, and I joined tio João Pedro and tia Agnes at our table. Tia Agnes pulled me into a hug. I had arrived yesterday afternoon, so I hadn’t seen most of my family yet.

“Glad to have you around for a few days,” tia Agnes said. “When the guys are practicing and you don’t have much to do, come have a chimarrão with me.”

I smiled at her. “I sure will.”

I greeted Leo, Hannah, and Ri—I embraced them like I hadn’t seen them in an entire year.

“I heard you’re starting college soon,” Hannah said with a smile. “Decided to settle down, hm?”

“Decided? More like was obligated.”

“I know it’s not what you wanted, but you should give it a chance,” Ri said. “College is a good thing.”

I scrunched my nose. I knew what they were trying to do—sounding all cheerful and happy, like college was a great thing, to make me feel better—but it wasn’t working.

“Not good, apparently,” Hannah said.

“Sorry, guys. I know college is a good thing and there are a lot of people who would do anything to be accepted and can’t, but … it’s not exactly what I want.” I felt and sounded like a broken record. They all knew what I wanted.

Gui changed subjects and asked Ri about his latest girlfriend. Or whatever he was calling the girls he spent time with. He had been Gui’s wingman when both of them were single and my brother was the one with all the girlfriends, but since Gui started dating Hil, that had changed. Ri now was out all the time and with a different girl every weekend.

At least that was probably the only topic that didn’t involve horses or riding or ranching or polo. Living with this family wasn’t easy.

Hannah’s phoned beeped and she glanced at the screen. “They're coming,” she said to us. Then, she turned around. “Everyone, Bia is bringing Garrett now. Get ready.”

Excitement made its way through my chest. I loved a good party, and even though I didn't know Garrett well, he seemed like a good guy.

Someone turned off a couple of lights, making the room darker than it already was, and we all stayed out of the main door’s line of sight.

“Just a second. I need to check on something,” Bia’s voice was low. The sound of boot heels clicked across the tile flooring.

“What is it?” Garrett asked, his voice just outside.

Bia stepped into the room, pulling Garrett by his hand.

“Surprise!” we yelled together.

The lights came back on, casting the place into its previous dim mood.

With wide eyes, Garrett stared at Bia, then at the guests, then at Bia again. “You’re sneaky.” He smiled at her. “You did all this?”

Bia shrugged. “Not alone.”

Still stunned, Garrett went around, greeting the guests.

Our group was the last.

After I embraced Garrett and congratulated him, Bia wound her arms tight around me. “Guria, so glad you’re here!”

“Me too,” I whispered in her ear.

Our circle grew with Bia and Garrett added to the mix. Then, Malcolm joined us and suddenly the subject switched back to polo. The practices, the next tournaments, their rankings … It was all too much for me.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” I muttered to no one before weaving through the crowd to the bar.

“Here.” A hand closed around my arm and pulled me to the side. “Gabi will decide for us,” Megan said.

I stared at her, then at the smiling faces of Blaire and Andrea. “What did I do?”

Megan chuckled. “Nothing, silly. We just need another opinion.”

I frowned. I couldn’t say Megan and the others were friends of mine, but they were people from the polo world. Their families belonged to the club where the guys played. Despite myself, I felt a little jealous they had been born amid it all. I had, too, but in another country.

I straightened. “Okay.”

Blaire hooked her arm on mine and leaned in close. “See that couple standing with Reese and Lucas over there?” She jutted her chin out and I followed the line until my eyes landed on a couple talking to Reese and Lucas. I was used to overhearing Megan, Blaire, and Andrea gossiping about guys like they were on the runway, and most of the time, they were model material, but this guy wasn’t. The young man was tall and looked regal in slacks and a dress shirt. What the guy was lacking in looks, the girl had in spades. She was stunning, and she wore a red dress that had been molded to her body.

“Sim. What about them?”

“Their names are Bryce and Alyssa, and they are new members at the club,” Andrea said. “Since they joined a couple of weeks ago, a rumor has been going around.”

Megan showed a sly smile. “They say that Alyssa is poor, like almost the homeless kind, and only married Bryce for his money.”

I glanced at girls. They smiled widely, and even though they probably didn’t even notice it, their bodies were turned to each other, their arms always touching—that when they weren’t absently touching each other on the arm or waist.

“I don’t know,” I finally said.

“Come on,” Blaire said, tugging on our hooked arms. “She is obviously trying too hard.”

Maybe I was seeing things, but the girl’s smile did look too wide, and she did smile at her husband way too often. But that could simply be love. Passion. She was in love with her husband and that was a good thing.

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Ugh, you’re no help.” Andrea rolled her eyes. “We have to find out.”

“It’s not like I can glance at them and read their minds.”

“We know that,” Megan said, only missing a duh at the end of her sentence. “But we thought maybe you could see something we were missing. A telltale gesture or something.”

“It’s okay,” Blaire said. “We can continue investigating.”

The three of them chuckled, and they suddenly reminded me of three witches plotting to take over the town. Or the club, in this situation.

I stepped back from their circle, afraid they would notice me sneaking off, but they were already too engrossed in the next rumor. Those three were all about the rumors.

To my luck, Pedro sat in the middle of the bar, and there were two vacant stools to his left.

I took one and glanced at him. “You all right over here?”

He didn’t take his eyes from his whiskey glass. “Never been better.”

“Pedro …” I started, but shut my mouth because I really didn’t have any idea of what I should say to him. We still didn’t know what had happened with Iris, and I wouldn’t push the subject now.

The bartender showed up across the counter a few seconds later. “What can I get for you, miss?”

“A dirty Jack, please.”

He nodded and turned around to fix my drink.

“If you're here to keep me company, don’t bother,” Pedro said. “Go back to the others and have fun.”

“I'm avoiding them at the moment.”

Pedro lifted an eyebrow at me. “Avoiding them? And here I thought you wanted to move here and live near us, because you can’t get enough of us.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know I do, but they are talking about polo and that kind of makes me frustrated at the moment, you know.”

He gave one sharp nod. “I know. Sorry this is so hard for you. I wish I could help you. If there was any way, I would do it.” His eyes lit up. “I know. We can force Ri to retire, then you can take his place.”

I gaped at him. “Now you’re making jokes?”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t let that one pass.”

“You’re terrible.” The bartender returned with my drink and I thanked him. I wrapped my hands around the cold glass. “Even if Ri retired, mixed teams are just for fun. The kind of tournaments you guys play don’t accept mixed teams.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for a women's team. If I find one that is hiring, I’ll let you know.”

I shook my head. “That won’t work.”

“Why?”

“Because ...” I lifted my index finger. “One, women’s teams aren’t big and famous like men’s teams. They don’t pay well and they certainly won’t invest in paying for a visa for one of their players. Two, there are no teams in the area. I know. I’ve looked. The nearest team is in San Francisco and that’s too far away. I want to live here not just so I can play polo, but so I can be with you guys.”

“You're asking too much.”

“Probably, but if I can't have it all, then I prefer to tuck my tail between my legs and go to college in Brazil.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “No, you don't.”

No, I didn't. But what other option did I have? Apply for college here and get a student visa? International students had to be full-time students, and needed to get good grades in order to keep their visas, which meant I would need to go to classes and study—and not search for a polo team or go to practice. That didn't work either.

Pedro fell silent, nursing his whiskey and his wounds.

And I did the same before Bia or Hil came looking for me and dragged me to the dance floor. And, even though I didn't feel like dancing, I knew that if they came and dragged me, it would be good. I would probably be able to shed my worries and enjoy the company of my family and friends. I loved them so much.

I wished my father wasn’t the one in charge of the ranch in Brazil. If he left it to a trusted employee, he could come to the U.S. too and be a partner of tio João Pedro here. That would get him a visa—and I would get one too. At least, until I was twenty-one. After that, even if my parents decided to move, I wouldn't be able to get a visa through them. However, I understood my father's position. The Montenegro name was big in Brazil and our ranch was known all over the world for our great polo horses and our polo school. Tio João Pedro had already abandoned ship because of his sons and my brother. My father couldn't leave all their hard work behind like that.

I sighed.

There had to be a solution to my problems—all of them.

Maybe I would find it at the end of this glass of whiskey.