Sue (8)
2402 Words
Sue (8)
Pregnant. Anna was pregnant…..again
I felt my breathing change and as I quietly left the room, giving the family some space, I tried to keep my face straight and without emotion. As I walked along the new long extension, to look at me you would think there was nothing wrong.
But inside, I was a mess.
Anna was pregnant despite what happened last time….and I still wasn’t.
I loved my family. I really did and Anna….she’s wonderful. But I’ve been struggling to get pregnant ever since I met Ray. At first, it didn’t register. I mean, we were fighting bad guys, trying to find answers about the facility and how to get Simon and Tracey back,
And when we finally did slow down, we were setting up the pack and Raine’s new place.
I took a shuddering breath and when I felt the sob about to burst past my lips, I opened the nearest door on my left and stumbled in. I forced the wall up so no one, especially my mate - wouldn’t feel my distress and I closed the door behind me even as the first tears started to fall and the sob that was trapped, finally left.
I don’t know how long I stood bent over my knees, trying to control my tears and my breathing but every painful memory, every disappointment hit me at once. My mind kept going back to the facility and all the pain and suffering, all the torture and hurt….the rape; it was crowding my brain more and more each day. Then the worry - the non-existent pregnancy….it mocked me
Poor Ray didn’t know any of it. I can’t tell him everything. He can’t know....but what he does know is that I am worried about not falling pregnant yet. He said it will happen, not to worry. But he doesn’t know what I know and that thought of having to tell him…watch him change because of it…I can’t do that to my mate.
The worry for Ray was what finally made me stand straighter and pat my cheeks as I tried to dry my eyes without it smudging my eyeliner. I touched the back pockets of my jeans and found the crumpled up tissue still there, using it to blow my nose repeatedly so it didn’t look too obvious I had been crying and blocked my nose.
The pain in my stomach receded as it normally does when I calm down and I finally turned around to look at where I was. I groaned when I see the store room. Granted it wasn’t a box or anything but, unless I was thinking or redecorating or using some old stuff, if someone had found me in here - I wouldn’t have been able to come up with a plausible reason why I was here.
Then it would get back to Ray and he would know something is wrong. Just as he has known for the last six months and he has kept asking me in different ways, what was wrong. That’s the last thing I need.
I open the door quickly and walk out, thankful that no one was around to see me in there. I quickly walk over to the guest bathroom, turn on the light and close the door behind me, letting out a breath I hadn’t known I had been holding. When I look in the mirror, I sigh, glad I hadn’t looked as bad as I thought I would. I quickly do my business and wash my hands, touching-up my makeup as best as I can.
Leaving the bathroom, I take a deep breath and walk to the other side of the house. I watched the guards who nodded at me. One of them reached over and unlocked the door with his set of keys and opened the door for me to walk through. When he followed behind me, I turned around
“I’m going to be here for a bit” I said “I’ll knock on the door when I’m ready”
“Yes Beta” The guard said
He walked out and closed the door, locking it again. I sighed and turned to look at Raine who was staring out the window, her back to me
“Are you ok?” I asked
She ignored me
“Do you need anything?” I asked her
Again, she ignored me
I tried a different tactic, knowing she would answer if I used the name
“How do you intend to see Chris if you are not home tonight as planned?”
Slowly, she turned to look at me and sighed
“There’s these things called phones” Raine replied
“Don’t you mean mind-link?” I asked
She remained silent as she looked at me. She finally moved toward the bed then sat down at the edge of it
“D…did….y-” I started to ask
“I couldn’t” Raine said quietly
“Then?” I asked
“She did it herself” Raine said, looking directly at me “It…was amazing. It glowed so bright when she touched it”
“I can’t believe you gave her it” I whispered
“It was the plan” Raine said
“Their my family” I said with a sad sigh “their YOU'RE family, Raine”
“I have no family” Raine said, shaking her head “I lost my family a long time ago”
“But we found them” I urgently whispered “The information was right. We can tell them everything and mak-”
“No!” Raine hissed, standing up “We made a blood pact to not tell them anything, or don’t you remember the consequences of it?”
I paled, completely forgetting the details of our past and what we said and did to survive
“Raine” I said, clearing my throat “it’s different now. Don’t you feel anything for them?”
Raine hesitated until she pushed her feelings back along with her shoulders. The dead look in her eyes were one I was familiar with.
“It doesn’t change anything. We all agreed, remember?” Raine asked “It’s the only-”
“She’s innocent in all of this. All the children are” I reminded her
“Sometimes” Raine said with a emotionless tone “It is the innocent that pay the price”
“Stop it!” I hissed “Stop talking like her”
“But wasn’t she right?” Raine asked me
“We were scared, stupid little kids, Raine!” I raised my voice a little “We didn’t know better”
“We did after she told us what to do” Raine said, her eyes clear “After she saved us…saved you”
I closed my eyes, my breathing hitching at the reminder
“I’m sorry” Raine said “I didn’t mean to bring up the memories”
“It was all so long ago” I said, opening my eyes and blinking away the moisture
“But the pact still stands” Raine reminded me “We all agreed. Especially when we found out it was true”
“I looked at Raine and she watched me back
“We all agreed” Raine repeated
“Because we didn’t know better…nor had our families to look out for us” I said
“We still don’t. Not really” Raine said
“We do” I whispered “And they love us. What do you think this will do to them?”
“They will understand when they see what we did it for. They will understand” Raine said confidently
“Will they?” I asked, shaking my head “I don’t think so because it will change everything….and everyone, Raine. We will lose the others. They may never even be alive or be them”
“Maybe, maybe not” Raine said “But we would be”
“This isn’t right” I said, my voice strong “We can still fix this Raine. Chr-”
“DON’T” Raine hissed “He’s not part of this
“Of course he is…he was since you made the soul deal” I said, exposing one of the many secrets she thought she had hidden from me
“H…How do you know about that?” Raines gasped
I shook my head, letting her know I would divulge that information. I watched as she paced back and forth, bitting her bottom lip. When she looked at me, her eyes glazed over and I knew she was talking to Chris
“I’m not going to tell them Raine” I told her
“We spent years in that hellhole. Years of abuse and torture. You don’t think I know my own beta?” Raine asked with a smile, her eyes clear now
“Then tell me why you wont consider living for now? For this family?” I asked her
“Because this isn’t my family!” Raine shouted “Not this version, not these people”
“And what about me?” I asked, moving closer
“You know we were all allowed to be together” Raine said
“These kids….their special Raine” I whispered “The things they can do…their amazing. Don’t you feel their power? Can’t you tell that they could be different?”
“I don’t want to know” Raine said, turning her back to me
“Maybe they can help” I said, rushing to stand in front of her “Maybe they can help reverse the pact or maybe-”
“Give back what was stolen, or killed?” Raine asked
I gasped, my eyes watering once again. My feet faltered back as I wrapped my arms around myself
“You know we cant do it without the key” Raine said quietly “not without Aria’s blood”
“She’s just a kid” I whispered tearfully
“So were we” Raine replied, sighing “I don’t hate her. I know it sounds like I do, but i honestly don’t. I just want what was promised. I just want it back”
“They won’t ever forgive us” I said, tears leaking
“They won’t remember” Raine promised
I flinched, backing away
“I…don’t even know if Ray - “ I cut off “They love you Raine. Don’t do this. There has to be another way”
“You think I didn’t try to find it when I found my brothers? When I met Anna and Aria? Or when I realised how right she was with her sight?” Raine asked “There is no other way”
“Anna’s pregnant” I blurted out “It would be classed as a sacrifice”
Raine swore, her eyes widening before walking to the bed and falling down to sit on it
“Are you sure?” Raine asked in a devastated whisper
“Yes” I sniffed “She just told Jason. I was there”
“It’s ok? The baby, I mean” Taine asked
“Yes” I flinched, knowing why she asked “Apparently she’s going to have some issues but should be ok…according to the healer”
“f**k!” Raine said “Fuckfuckfuck!”
“We can't kill it. And we can’t take away their mother” I sniffed louder "We are NOT monsters!"
“f**k!” Raine said, thumping the bed
“Raine - “I tried to speak
“Let me think Sue” Raine said as she rubbed her forehead “Just…let…me…think”
For a while, there was silence as Raine continued to rub her forehead and I stood frozen with my arms wrapped around myself. I winced when I felt Ray’s mind-link probe me, wanting to know why I was upset. I sniffed, letting him know I was Raine. I was safe but I would speak to him in a bit. I put my wall back up and started to walk towards the door
“Sue” Raine started to speak
“I forgot to put my shield up and Ray felt my emotion” I said, wiping the tears as I kept my back to her “I need to go see him”
“Are you ok?” She asked me
“I am” I replied “ I just wished we had known about them”
“I meant….about the pregnancy” Raine said
I felt her walk up behind me. When she was in front of me, she suddenly hugged me. For a moment, my body stayed frozen and stiff.
Then my arms unfolded and I hugged her back as a sob escaped me
“It’s still not happening” I cried “It’s just like they said"
“We don’t know that” Raine countered back, her arms tightening around me
“I know it” I cried as the tears fell faster
“Then don’t you want this more?” Raine asked, moving back “When it can help?”
“You heard what she said. That fates may change who he is” I sobbed “I didn't care because I hadn't met Ray. Now, I cant imagine my life without him. I don’t want anyone else”
"Sue” Raine said, her voice sympathetic
“No” I replied, shaking my head “No, don't Raine. It doesn't make it better. Two years and trying and still it’s not happened. What do I tell Ray? How coul….no….I just can’t even think about it”
“My brother is not so shallow!” Raine said, defending her brother.
“And yet you want to change him” I complained
“f**k, Sue!” Raine said moving towards the bed “That's not….that's different”
“It’s not” I took out the new tissues and blew my nose “you still get to have it all. But me….I only get to chose between one or the other”
“That was never my intention” Raine whispered
“But it is what has happened. Now I have to decide, do I want the death of my mate, or the death of my child” I replied, my body shaking with the reality of our situation
- Writer
