Seasons of Chances and Love 2: Perfect Love In Summer

The Siren's Mistake

Miyako couldn't help heaving a heavy sigh as soon as her sight met with the dark ceiling of her room. It was the kind of sigh that stated her hate and frustration over... something. But that "something" wasn't exactly an easy topic that she could voice out to her friends, particularly to Kana or Kazumi. That "something" wasn't a topic that she wanted to remember.

But a dream in which she had vividly seen, replayed over and over in her mind, was what made her remember. Her heart pounded fast but it wasn't a good feeling at all. Just like those nights that it invaded her much-anticipated sleep, a feeling of heaviness would always take over her no matter how much she tried to shove it off as fast as she could. No one knew that heaviness she had been lifting for more than a year now-a type of heaviness she wanted to dispose of but could never leave her, letting her continue to lift it all the way.

Why couldn't it simply leave her alone? Just how many times does that dream have to appear in her mind-whether she was awake or asleep-before she could finally have the peace she had always wanted? She'd been repenting ever since it happened. Wasn't that enough already? Does she really have to kneel down on her knees all day and beg for the mistake she had in the past to disappear and never disturb her in her memories or in her dreams at all?

It's been a long time. I know I made the greatest mistake when I lost it... But do you really have to remind me over and over about it? Do I really have to suffer so much for you to forgive me? I'm really sorry... that I couldn't save you. I was there when it happened and all I did was... I'm not the one who's supposed to be walking here on earth-on the world of living-at all...

Emotions got the best of her. Before she knew it, hot tears from her stinging silver eyes started trickling down her cheeks as she sat up from her bed. A quiet, muffled sob soon followed as she closed her eyes even though she knew it wouldn't do anything to prevent her tears from falling...

...especially at this point.

The sound of her sob that resonated in that room was one of the proofs that her life had been a mess... and full of pain. Many times, she thought of giving up living at all. Fortunately, the only person who knew that thought of hers was her older brother Mamoru. Her British mother would definitely freak out if she ever found out about her daughter having that thought enough to destroy a life for sure. Her Japanese father-though not exactly that obvious since he was stoic in some ways-was similar to her mother. He would also freak out if he found that out.

And more than ever, she didn't want that to happen. It was enough that they've been extremely worried for her after that incident. She didn't want a repeat of that anymore.

A few minutes more had passed before her sob finally subsided and turned to sniffles. Sheesh, why does her tear glands had to act like a dam every time she would have that dream?

Because you've been blaming yourself non-stop ever since the day it happened... the voice in her head said and it continued to echo. No one knew she had been doing the blame game in the shadows for more than a year now.

No one knew that the "Siren of the Silver Winds" of Seishun Gakuen and "The Illusionist" of the girls' tennis club during middle school in Kanagawa wanted to shrink and eventually disappear in the face of the earth because of that blame game. No songs nor illusions could make that guilt she had in her heart disappear forever. No one could do anything about it at all...

Not even-

Fuji Syuusuke...

Her sniffling stopped; her hands froze in mid-air, her silver eyes slightly widened. That name... Why does it have to enter her mind now, of all times? Now that she thought about it, this was the first time that a name made her immediately stop crying. Yes, sniffling was still a part of crying and she would insist on that. But that wasn't what she was actually worried about.

And then something hit her. The novel she just wrote and eventually finished writing last night. It was the scene she wrote there that triggered to let her remember a painful memory... and soon after made her think about Fuji. She wanted to blame her insomnia for it, for not letting her able to sleep early so she would be fine by...

A frown crept on her face. By the way, what time was it already?

That was when she looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table on the right of her bed. 3:29... A wry smile soon changed that frown before allowing herself to lie down on her bed once more. Just great! What a perfect timing it was.

A perfect timing to torture my heart and my mind again...

But... Then again, wasn't she supposed to have gotten used to it since it was the same scenario over and over for more than a year now?

Upon closing her eyes, an image of a familiar handsome face of a boy who had been invading her thoughts appeared in her mind. Come to think of it, just a thought of him was already enough to give her a sort of peace in a way. But hey, could someone even consider it peaceful if her heart was beating wildly with just a thought of that heck of a guy?

This was one thing that confused her ever since she had first seen him upon transferring to Seigaku during third year middle school. They were not classmates but they constantly see each other along the school corridors or in the library. The only place in which their paths would surely never cross at all-and somehow, she was sure of it-was the music room. It was one of her favorite music rooms, after all. It was the place where silence was forgotten, the wall she built around herself until now was breaking down easily and the ice around her heart would melt with ease. Only music had the power to do those things to her.

Until now, no one was able to do those things to her in any way. In fact, there was still a wall surrounding her and isolating her world from her friends (Kana, Kazumi, Aika and Hanako) even though she didn't want to do so. She knew that the wall would never last as long as she told them the truth as to why it was built in an instant. But telling them the truth had proven itself to be a futile effort.

She couldn't tell them. She was afraid of even more pain that it could possibly bring to her.

And that's why she vowed never to let her feelings of pain and guilt show itself to anyone. No exceptions.

Not even to the person who might have the ability to change her strong hold on her belief that she wasn't meant to be happy for a long, long time. Not even the tensai of Seishun Gakuen...

..Fuji Syuusuke...

-x-x-

But that plan was something that she could never fulfill till the end. Though she was unaware of the possibility for it to happen to be soon, she knew it was bound to happen one day. Only, she has no plans of letting that sadistic tensai know about it.

It would give her even more reason not to forgive herself... and to give up living altogether.

Oh, please, Miyako! Will you stop being pessimistic for once?

As much as she hated it, she was pessimistic about her life had went through for a long time. But if there was nothing which could be done for her to forgive herself, that pessimistic attitude of hers would never fade away.

"Good morning, Yumemiya-san," came a cool voice that almost instantly made her stop to her tracks.

And with that, she almost had the urge to sigh exasperatingly, especially since the person whom that voice belonged to was probably right behind her. Great! Just when I had this resolve to stay away from him as much as possible...

But it would be rude of her if she didn't greet him a casual "good morning" like what she used to do. Yet she had to admit, this person was really someone she should be wary.

After a few seconds of contemplating, the urge she had to sigh was put into action before she turned her head and faced the person who was right behind her.

"Good morning, Fuji-san," she greeted with a small smile.

To her confusion, though, Fuji didn't say anything. He just looked at her intently but she didn't miss out the part that he was looking at her with worries. And that was when she remembered. She didn't sleep well last night. She probably had dark circles under her eyes now.

I would've slept better if I didn't have that nightmare-ish memory last night... She bit her lip as she remembered that.

No words came out of the tensai's mouth even after a few more moments that had passed. Okay, make that minutes. Several students passed by them and most of them thought that it was a silent conversation of some sort. While some thought of it as being weird. But the two concerned people didn't give a thought about all of that. Miyako was in the middle of contemplating about her "nightmare-ish memory", as she called it, which he had dreamed last night. Fuji was thinking of doing something for Miyako-to help her with whatever worries she has, to fade it away at least for a short while.

Fuji knew that Miyako has a big reason for her not being able to sleep well last night. Her casual greeting ans reserved smile could never hide that-at least not from him. He knew her at least that much. After all, watching her and observing her routine ever since he saw her the day she transferred to Seigaku during their middle school made him know her a little. But his yearning to know her more had always been a hard task for him. He felt like she was so far no matter how close they stood to each other. They were like worlds apart, unable to reach out to each other no matter how hard he tried. Even still, he didn't lose hope.

There might be at least something that would allow him to finally reach her.

Before he could think of his actions whether it would be taken as an insult-like to piss her off-or to help, he grabbed Miyako's hand without a word and pulled her away from that place. Miyako wanted to pull away from Fuji's hold on her but seemed too weak to do so. She was tired so she just let him despite the surprise she felt because of it. Not to mention, her heart was definitely acting weird again.

As if there's something new to that... Fuji had always have this effect on her no matter how hard she tried to stop it from happening. From the moment she saw him, her heart would always beat fast. She would always feel different warmth running through her veins as he saw him smile or laugh with his teammates. Those crescent-closed eyes looked happy and yet several mysteries remained hidden in it.

Those mysteries-whatever it was-were something she was wary of, among others. Her feelings were just second in the list of her reasons why she should stay away from Fuji as much as possible. Maybe not staying away in a literal sense. It was her heart that she needed to protect from him. But the novels she wrote, the songs she sang... As much as she hated to admit it, but those things could possibly betray her in so many ways.

And that betrayal might lead her to make the same mistake again.

"We're here," came his serious voice that disrupted the flow of her thoughts.

It was when he realized that Fuji had brought (or pulled would be the most appropriate word) her to the school infirmary. Both of them entered there before she could even ask him the reason why he brought her there. They approached the bed near the window and he made her sit there. Soon after, a woman in a white coat whom she already knew as the school doctor entered the room.

"Well, it's too early for you two to have a date. But I don't need to remind you that this is not a dating place," the doctor said in a serious tone but Miyako could already tell that there were hints of amusement and teasing in the way it was said.

Miyako could feel the heat running to her face and her body would have been the next to flush if Fuji didn't bother to let go of her hand. Now wait just a freaking minute! How long had he been holding her hand? A soft laugh snapped her out of her musings as she felt someone held her hand tight. It looked like Fuji held her hand again.

"We're not dating here, sensei," Fuji stated with his ever-present smile on his face. At least not yet... He would've added but chose not to. "We're here because I need to take care of Yumemiya-san. I just don't want her to attend her class without enough sleep. It would be hard for her to concentrate on the lessons if I let it be."

The lemon-haired girl could only gape at that as she faced Fuji while the doctor looked at him with serious expressions. From the looks of it, the woman understood the explanation. That was when the doctor looked at Miyako who was obviously not in a good state. Something must have bothered the girl last night for her not getting enough sleep. Not only that, Miyako appeared to have cried a lot. Either a painful memory or a sad event could only make this possible.

"If that's the case," the doctor started after sighing. "Fuji-kun, make sure she gets enough sleep. I believe they chose Yumemiya-san to perform for the charity concert next week. A good rest is one key of a good performance. And I'm sure you're doing your best not to disappoint your audience. Am I right, Yumemiya-san?"

The aforementioned girl could only look down, for what the doctor said was true. But at this point, Miyako couldn't exactly force herself to sleep. She didn't want to be reminded of that dream again. It happened every time, that's why sleeping wasn't exactly a very good option to relax her mind these past few days. Sleeping became an entrance for those regretful memories to haunt her repeatedly.

"...if you're afraid to sleep." Fuji's voice brought back her mind to reality.

She looked up and faced the tensai. "Excuse me?"

A smile she wasn't used to see on Fuji appeared on his face. "I said I'll stay here with you if you're afraid to sleep."

"No! Don't do that!" she reeled as her face heated up once more.

"Why not?"

"I can't possibly disturb you even more than this. It's enough that you thought of bringing me here to have a good rest. I don't want to cause more trouble to you..." Her voice became softer as she turned her gaze away from him. That's right... I'll just cause him trouble. As long as I stay close to him, he'll never be safe. I don't want to make the same mistake because of that.

A surge of curiosity had hit Fuji as he continued to look at Miyako even though she was looking away from him. Fear... and at an intense rate, too. She was afraid of something. But what could it be? Every time he was trying to get close to her-to reach her, she would always find a way to distance herself from him. Each time, it got farther and farther.

And each time, he kept on thinking a lot. He wanted to do something to shorten that distance. He wanted to do something to stride that distance and reach her where he would never had to let her go.

His smile slightly widened as he pulled Miyako closer and cupped her face when he finally had the chance. At that point, he saw her blush furiously.

"W-what are you doing?" she could only ask.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he inquired instead of answering her question.

"Fuji-san!"

He couldn't help smiling even more. The way she called out his name felt like music. A song sang by a lone nightingale. Never mind the fact that she sounded a bit scandalous. But still...

Lone... Now where did he get that word? And why did he use it to describe Miyako?

Sad, yes.

Hurt, maybe.

Scared-well, it was an addition but obviously precise.

But alone?

"You have to let go of my face if you really wanted me to sleep," Miyako said that broke the trance surrounding them-even though she didn't want to describe it that way. Well, she has to say something before her mind started running and fell of to the edge of sanity.

Fuji blinked. "You really have your ways of breaking a good moment, huh?" he said before letting go of Miyako's face like what she had asked. But he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that he felt a little... disappointed. Her face felt soft to his hands. And it felt so... right, as well.

Oh, well. At least she thought of a way for him to let go of her face. Who knew what else could happen if he didn't.

Miyako took a deep breath and exhaled a bit exasperatingly before unconsciously lifting her hands to touch her face. To the part that Fuji held... Right now, both sides felt so hot. Just what in the world could he be thinking when he did that?

She put her bag on the bedside table and gently laid herself on the bed. All the while, Fuji didn't leave her side. He assisted her even though she didn't really want his assistance.

Really? Are you sure you don't really need his assistance when you feel like needing it... badly? She couldn't help but to groan inwardly. At this point, she didn't want to have another argument with that side of her mind. All she wanted right now was a good night sleep-one where she doesn't have to worry about nightmares.

But was that even possible?

A blanket covered her until it reached her chest which caught her surprised for a bit. Upon looking up, she saw Fuji with a smile on his face. Seriously, does this guy knew how to stop smiling? He was securing the blanket over her. Despite the fabric of the blanket and her uniform, she could still feel his touch. She couldn't help shifting slightly because of his touch.

An action that somehow Fuji still noticed, yet he chose not to say anything about it.

"Now, sleep. I won't leave here until I make sure you finally sleep," he said as he put a chair near the bed where she was lying.

"You know, I really hate you when you're this persistent. Shouldn't you have other things to think about and prioritize rather than staying here and watching me have a well-deserved sleep?" Well, that was a modest way she could think of so she could push him way.

"You're right. But my priority right now is for me to make sure you sleep before something bad happens to you because of your negligence to take care of your health. And I won't leave you until I finally make sure you get a well-deserved rest."

She groaned in frustration before sighing heavily. She couldn't believe it. This guy was definitely persistent that she couldn't help but to hate him for it. Why did he have to do this sort of thing for her? It wasn't like he was her boyfriend or something.

Even though I wanted him to be...

She shook her head mentally to shrug off that despicable thought. Seriously, could this day get any worse?

Miyako pulled the blanket up until it covered her up to the neck. She then chose to close her eyes and probably, doing so would finally help her have some sleep. It was also a way for her to avoid having a conversation with Fuji any longer than how it was a while back. Conversing with this blue-eyed tensai was somehow giving her the creeps. It was like he could actually figure out her fears-especially those greatest ones that she was keeping even from her friends-just by looking at her eyes.

Most of the time, no matter how coldly she looked at him, her silver eyes-which he once compared to an opaque sheet of ice or even an unrefined ore-would reveal certain emotions she was hiding from the rest. How could he easily read her like that, anyway?

That question was the last thing her mind had thought of before it got drifted someplace else. Of course, a little song that Fuji was humming made that possible.

A small smile crept on her face in her sleep.

Did he remember?

For the first time, she felt like having Fuji sing a song for her right before she sleep was something that had never felt so... right.