Monster

Denial (1)

Five days. That was the number of days since the one whom I won't mention by name had returned to his pack. Five days. That was the number of days since I had made the decision to erase him from my mind. I had never needed anyone and never would. I was here and I had my she-wolf, why bother with an extra presence.

Everyday life had returned to normal and the visit of the Yukon pack was fading into a strange memory, a break in the well-oiled machinery of my existence. Tears, blood, pain. The fights in the arena, on the battlefield and behind the closed doors of my Luna's apartments were once again punctuating my days without any rainbow-furred fools coming to interfere. Since their departure, Ivana seemed restless, even more unstable than usual. She had become much more suspicious, bordering on paranoia, and her violent outbursts were increasing. Most of the time I was the target, as if she held me responsible for something and wanted to make me pay for it. So I avoided her as much as possible, sneaking away for whole days to train myself or the young warriors, to patrol or to hunt. She was always asking for me, with or without reason, and it became more and more difficult to justify my continuous absences. My she-wolf, who sometimes tried to bring up the subject of the wolf that I had banished from my mind, was systematically confronted with the same answer: it's better this way. As a result, we became slightly distant and talked less often than before. She was pouting. So I left her alone, knowing perfectly well that I could count on her at the slightest problem. She would eventually get over it. The proof was that I was perfectly fine. Perfectly.

Summer was in its early stages, but already the temperatures were stifling. My sweaty tank top was clinging onto my back and I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. I was in the middle of a training session. Exceptionally, we had decided to go near the river that bordered our territory, hoping that the proximity of the water would bring us some coolness. Moreover, we were far enough from the village so nobody would come and disturb us without a good reason. To follow the rules that we had established tacitly, everything took place in silence and with the greatest discipline. No buddying, provocation or chatter, only the sound of blows and grunts of pain when a hit was badly parried broke the silence. We were more than warriors or soldiers, we were killing machines. The elite of the elite warriors. Each of the wolves here had so many deaths that they had to stop counting, but I hadn't forgotten mine. Including the youngster executed the day before in the arena, I had reached 150. A grim record, unrivalled to this day in our pack, nor even scratched. It had been 20 years since I had joined this pack. I was particularly precocious, being able to change far sooner than the others, and had begun to be trained in combat as soon as I arrived, both as a little girl and as a cub. According to the Luna, it would have been a shame to let such potential fade. My instructors were forbidden to hold back their blows or show me any affection. At 14, I killed my first wolf on a battlefield. At that age, when most cubs were just beginning to be prepared for the mutation that would come four years later, I was already a trained and bloodthirsty fighter. The male in charge of supervising my training was none other than the warrior commander, Sullivan. He was an impressive wolf, not only for his size, but also for his skills and control. He was 190 cm tall with well-defined, though not hypertrophied, muscles, a shaved head and a blind eye from a silver stab wound that left a long scar on the right side of his face. However, one should not take this handicap for a weakness. Everything about him breathed lethality. Whether it was his agile and confident walk, his sharp and piercing eye or his power and dexterity, he made a formidable opponent that few dared to confront. Even I, the monster among monsters, preferred to have him with me than against me.

The training was going well when suddenly the sound of a frantic race reached us. Without even consulting each other, we went into defensive formation. Then suddenly I recognized the scent carried by the wind and relaxed, though intrigued. A young grey she-wolf ran out from between the trees and, in her haste, almost ended up in the river. I sighed exasperatedly and let down my mental barriers, so she could reach me with her mind, before questioning her aloud.

"Chelsea, what are you doing here?

- Fury, I'm sorry to disturb you in the middle of a training session, but I was asked to inform you as soon as possible.

- Speak up.

- Rogues.. rogues wolves have been spotted on the western border of our territory. They have entered our territory.

- What?!

- A patrol is already on its way, but it looks like they're quite numerous and aggressive. They need reinforcements."

I exchanged a brief glance with my training partners and with the same impulse we changed into wolves before running at full speed towards the transgressed area. As we ran, I suddenly felt a presence that was not expected on the expedition. Even through our mental link, my tone was uncompromising.

"Chelsea what exactly do you think you're doing? Go back to the village right now and stay there.

- But I could be useful! I could fight alongside you.

- Make yourself useful? And how exactly? By getting yourself killed? This is not a game.

- But...

- I won't repeat myself, pup."

I could feel her frustration, but I didn't want to risk it. Since our fight in the arena, the young she-wolf had developed a certain admiration for me and would do anything to get my attention when I trained them. She was talented, but her transformation was still too recent. She didn't have enough control over her new body and abilities. I didn't want to have her standing in the way of an unidentified enemy. She would have the opportunity to dance with death soon enough when she was ready. I pushed the impetuous she-wolf out of my mind and focused on my target, ready to let the blood flow.