The Nerd In Disguise

Chapter 13

They said love is the most powerful force in the universe. It's like a light that enlightens those who give and receive it and a gravity because it makes some people feel attracted to others. It is like a wind, you can feel but can not see and in love you will live and die.

Sounds really romantic right? but seriously, I don't have any idea what love would really feel like because i have never fallen for anybody. Yes, there were certain people who got my attention but i never had not an actual relationship. And honestly speaking, it is only Cameron who made me feel something in peculiar especially today when asked me to meet her at the garden and surprised me by showing her talent in dancing.

No wonder why she is the captain of cheerleading team in Creighton because trust me Cameron is really good in it. Everything seems perfect and i was completely under her magical spell until Leslie and Grey walked in surprised.

"What happened?" Grey questioned his twin. His face is red and eyebrows schrunched. I could imagine the steam coming out of his ears. "Did you just kiss Lily?"

My heart dropped on the floor. They really saw us kissing and by the tone of Grey, he must be really disappointed at me and Leslie, her face looks like i have done something horrible and committed a huge crime.

What am I going to do now? Should i tell Grey I'm a lesbian? Was it too late? How about Leslie? What is going through her mind right in this moment? Agh. I don't freaking know. Why i have to be in this situation?

"Lower your voice," Cameron told her twin. She looks so calm despite of the enraged and hostile approach of Grey. She stepped forward and covered me against her twin. "It's none of your business Grey,"

"Oh come on Cameron," Grey grimaces. "How many times do i have to tell you to spare Lily from your bullshit!"

"Stop accusing me like that," Cameron said dryly with a stale laugh but the veins were already visibles on her forehead and neck. This is actually the first time i have seen her showing anger or any kind of emotions and i honestly don't like it. "Please don't act like a good guy here,"

"You should say that to yourself Cameron," Grey retorted. "So what do you want from her? Do you want to get inside her pants?"

"Stop!" I told them but they didn't listen.

"Why do you have to know?" Cameron asked, more like challenging him. "This is not even your business Grey, you have nothing to do with this!"

"I have because..." Grey's jaw tightened, he stuffed his shaking hands inside his pockets. He is trying to hold onto something huge and going to explode any moment. "I like Lily—a lot,"

Grey's revelation really caught me off guard. Heck, We are all stunned. Though it was really obvious but it's still suprised me. I didn't expect him to abruptly say that, especially in front of Cameron. Speaking of her, Cameron looks like she is trying to summon every ounce of her grace to conserve her composure.

My eyes drifted to Leslie who suddenly turned around and silently walked out of the main garden. F*ck! Leslie has a huge crush on Grey and witnessed his confession to me must hurt her.

"Leslie!" I tried to call her but she just ignored me. "I have to go,"

"Wait, Lily!" Grey tried to block my way when i was about to follow Leslie. "Can we talk please?"

How can i look at those hopeful eyes staring back at me? What would be his reaction once i tell him i was not interested in men and I'm a lesbian? Is he going to tell the whole campus about it especially Aerin? That Queen Bee will surely make my life here in School even worse. However, I'm not going to give Grey a false hope because he deserves so much better and im pretty sure there were tons of girls who wanted to be with him. Who wouldn't right? Grey is the team captain of Creighton basket ball team, very handsome and has a kardasian status here at school. We are completely from different world which makes me wonder why he wanted someone like me.

"I'm sorry Grey," I replied with a small voice. His elated expression fades slowly, replaced by sadness. It makes me feel guilty but i have to do the right thing. "Let's talk next time,"

Grey quickly casts his eyes down the ground. "O.. Okay,"

Also, I took a long and hard look at Cameron for one last time before exited the main garden but i couldn't get rid the look of her face off my mind. She looks conflicted after Grey confessed his feelings for me and it's clear as sky that Cameron feels the same way too but what is going to happen now? I don't want to serve as a wall that will separate the twins.

With a heavy feeling, I began to look for Leslie around the garden but she is nowhere to be seen. I don't know where to go, where to find her until i reached the school, there were no people in the hallway since the bell already rang. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when i saw Leslie leaning over the locker and looking at empty space.

"Hey—" My voice was weak that i thought she wouldn't be able to hear. Leslie looked at me. The look on her face is enigmatic, those eyes were helds thousand of emotions and i must admit it scared me to the core. "What's wrong Leslie? Why did you leave?"

"Nothing," Leslie replied shortly. She turned around and opened her locker loudly. "I just..."

I stood behind her, trying to listen of what she was going to say. "I'm sorry about Grey," That could be the reason why Leslie acted like this. "Trust me, I—"

"Lily," Her voice was lifeless, not cheerful like before. "We are all entitled to like or love the person we chose. Same with Grey, he can like the girl he wants and no one can stop him."

If that is so, then why is she acting like this? Leslie knows I'm lesbian and there was no single chance for me and Grey. What did i do wrong?

"Then what is—"

Leslie turned, facing me and i could see the emotion reflected in her eyes and for what goddamn reason i felt responsible for it. "I just want to be held then i will be okay,"

Even though I was confused and many thoughts rumbling in my mind. I pushed all them at the back of my head and wholeheartedly embraced Leslie with understanding. Whatever her reason is, it's not important anymore as long as she is okay. I whispered some comforting words to her until she calm down. Leslie assures she is fine before we separate ways.

I came home, feeling emotionally exhausted and everything that words can't describe. Father was busy cleaning his camera's lenses in the counter and Mother sitting comfortably in the couch while holding a magazine. At least, they are here, not working. I'm not alone.

My mother beam when she noticed my arrival. "My baby is home," I threw my bag on the floor and snuggled next to mom. "Oh what is wrong Lily?"

I just shook my head.

"Did someone hurt you?" Father asked, sounds threatening. "Should i get my katana and slice her in pieces?"

The lame joke of my father set a smile on my face. I'm very lucky to have cool parents. "No one hurt me dad,"

"Then why is our baby being clingy?" It was Mom, she was brushing my hair using her fingers.

"Maybe we can help," Father added as he stood up from his chair and walked towards us. "Is this about Cameron? Or you needed something?"

Why would my parents already think that everything is concerning about Cameron? Did they truly like her? Well, I know she is not hard to love because she is truly amazing and all but why? They barely know her, they does not know Cameron's being a playgirl at school.

Slowly, i sat up straight and looked at both of my parents. "No, i do not need anything," I answered. "But yes, it is kinda related to Cameron," They waited for me to elaborate. "Grey, Cameron's twins told me that he likes me,"

I tried not to say anything about the kiss with Cameron because they might be angry and disappointed beside i wanna keep my privacy for my own sake. They don't have to know everything that's going on with me at school as long as i can balance it on my own.

"Why are you worried?" Father asked after a minute or two. "You should tell him that you are not into him,"

I took a deep breath. "I know dad,"

"Your father is correct Lily," Mother put the magazine down the table and crossed her legs. "Love consist of disappointment and heartbreak," She put her hand on my thigh. "You can't help who to fall inlove with and you can't help who you hurt,"

"It's not easy to deny Grey in front of Cameron and Leslie especially he is not used to rejection," I reasoned out. "But i would do that privately,"

"Point taken," Mother said. She leaned in and put a kiss on my forehead before standing up. "Be honest of what you feel Lily, it will make your life easier."

"So you are always honest babe?" Father questioned Mom.

Mother scowled at him. "Aren't you?"

"No," Father put his arm over my shoulder. "I'm not," I could not help but shake my head. This is supposed to be my time but they are now arguing. "But im not saying I'm a liar,"

"Oh really?" Mother murmured, she swiftly turned around and went to the kitchen.

"I just, " Father paused and scratched his eyebrow. "I don't always say what I feel."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because the truth sometimes hurts," Father answered with a smile.

"Yeah," Mother yelled from the kitchen. "So do lies, though."

Talking to my parents kinda helped me through what is bothering me but the whole night i was awake because i couldn't sleep. If there is any medicine i can buy to stop my brain from functioning atleast for tonight i would buy it. I just don't want to remember what happened. My eyes are started to feel heavy as i stared hard at the ceiling here in my cold and dark room.

How can i face Grey tomorrow? I hope and pray that he is smart enough to consider not to tell anyone about what happened between me and her sister or else I'm dead.

How can I assure Leslie that i don't have any feelings for Grey? She is my closet friend in Creighton and i don't want to lose her just because of a misunderstanding.

And, what should i tell Cameron about the kiss after i left her?

I grabbed the pilow next to me and put it on my face to let out a frustrated scream. This misery and agony is going to kill me slowly. Hopefully, When I wake up tomorrow we will forget everything that happened. You know, it's just a dream that we can not remember anymore.

The first thing came to my mind is not to go to school today. I want to sleep, binge my favorite tv series in Netflix with pizza and tacos on my lap. Bu too bad though, i have exam to my first class. I lazily got out of my bed, take a good bath, wear my sweater, pair of black skinny jeans, rubber shoes and my no grade glasses. I went downstairs and found my mother cooking in the kitchen as for my father he is nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning Mom," I greeted her and i sat down in the counter. My stomach growled in hunger by the smell of her cooking. "What's for breakfast?"

Mother gracefully tucked some stray hair fell on her behind her ear then flashes me a smile. "Pancakes, sausage, eggs and bacon,"

"Oh gosh, heaven." My mouth watered. She placed a plate with delicious food in front of me. "Woah," There were stars in my eyes. Well, this will change my mood the whole day. "Thank you for the food,"

"Welcome," Mother said smiling. I started eating slowly and savouring the food. "Anyway, i have something to give you," From her behind, mother put a magazine in the counter. I consciously look at it, trying to figure out what was it then my eyes went wide and my mouth dropped when i recognized who were in the cover. "Yes, that is you, me and your father."

I quickly grabbed it and stared hard at the picture. "This is amazing, we look like a happy family."

Mother folded her arms over the counter. "Do you like it?"

"Not just like," I smiled at her. "I love it Mom. Also, I look different here,"

"Actually, some talent and model agency already inquired about you."

I tore my eyes from the magazine to my mother's timeless beautiful face. "About me? Why?"

"They are interested in you," Mother replied. But knowing her, she probably said that im not yet ready. Let's see what is going to happen after i finished high school. "John gave me three copies of the magazine,"

Maybe i should give Leslie and Cameron a copy since they really idolize my mother, addition to their collections. After eating breakfast, mother accompanied me to my car. She wont stop reminding me to drive carefully until i settled inside the car. At least, i have a reason to go to school today because i knew that Leslie and cameron would be happy with the magazine I would give.

I was almost at school when my car's engine suddenly stopped. "No f*cking way!" I cursed under my breath and to avoid more serious problem i swiftly parked my car alongside the road. "What an awesome day,"

I went out of the car to check what was the problem. A frown set on my face by the sight of flat tire. I searched for my phone inside the car and tried calling my mother but she does not picking up.

"Mom answer please!" I started racking my hair due in frustration but still she won't pick up-

"Hey," Someone speak behind me. I turned around and saw a Rolls-royce phantom. The car's window slowly rolled down and i was blown away when i saw the glimpsed the person inside. "You need help?"

"Leslie.."

"Get in," Leslie said with a smile. Without any second thought, i grabbed my bag and made sure the car is well lock before hopping in Leslie's car. "Flat tire so early in the morning ha,"

"Oh yeah," I looked at Leslie. She looks more pretty today, something about her changed but i could not wrap it around my finger. "Thank you though for saving me not getting fry at the road."

Leslie chuckled. "You are always welcome,"

We fell into silence , enjoying the music blasting from the radio. There were times Leslie is singing some lyrics together with the song and trust me she has a voice. I was smiling the whole time, no awkwardness and definetly no dull moments. Maybe she already forgot what happened yesterday and move on. Thanks God!

"Lily," Leslie pulled me out of my reverie. I just looked at her straight in the eyes. Her pretty face broke into a delightful smile. "We are here at school,"

As if on cue i looked outside and yes, we are already in the parking lot. I was too busy thinking about everything and didn't noticed anything. "Oh gosh, yes. I'm sorry." Then i remember something. "Before i forgot," I unzipped my bag and pulled out the magazine. "We are featured by Elle magazine," But the magazine fell on thre floor. "—— Ouch!" I painfully clutched on my forehead when it accidentally hit the comportment.

"Are you okay?" Leslie asked very concern as she scoot closer and hold my face to check on my forehead. "Wow, it's really red,"

"Sorry," I said with a shake of my head. "I'm so clumsy—" My face blushed when i felt Leslie's breath touches my cheek while looking at my forehead. "I.. Ah..." When our eyes met the pain disappear like magic. "Leslie..."

My heart dropped to my stomach when i saw her slowly crossing the remaining distance between us. I took a shaky breath when Leslie stopped just half inch away from my lips. "Thank you for this," She whispered before grabbing the magazine from me and pulled away.

What the hell just happened? Did she just teas me?