Until That Day

6089 Words
CHAPTER TWO And what if I never kiss your lips again Or feel the touch of your sweet embrace How would I ever go on Without you there's no place to belong Sorry... A seemingly simple five-letter word. It was easy to say this because sometimes, you didn't really mean it. But when you do, that's where the struggle starts. My struggle about this word started upon enrolling to Seigaku. I was already in first year high school and it was a good thing I managed to catch up on the enrollment before the enrollment days were over. Another good thing was that only a few people could recognize me as the fairly famous pianist abroad, Hondou Kazumi. One of those few people was Miyuzaki Kana, my childhood friend. Of course, I still considered him as my childhood friend. Or at least, he was to me... "Kazu-chan, do you have any plans for today?" Kana asked me as soon as the class was over and the teacher finally left the room. I faced her while fixing my notebook into my bag. "I need to head to the memorial hall to fix some things there. Besides, Mama's coming home tonight so I need to do some preparations in her return from the tour." Just like my grandfather, my mother was also a famous musician-an exceptional violinist and cellist, to be exact. Recently, she was having a tour all over Japan along with some other musicians since she decided to do a charity concert in order for her to build a music school on one of our adopted orphanages. She was doing it to fulfill one of my deceased father's dreams-to convey our family's way of music to others who were aiming to become a wonderful musician. "Is that so?" Sorry, Kana. I had to create that lie. Well, there was one part of what I said that happened to be true. I do need to head to the memorial hall. But not because I have to fix some things. There was another reason that I couldn't exactly tell her. Not yet. Well someday love is gonna lead you back to me But 'til it does I'll have an empty heart So I'll just have to believe Somewhere out there you thinking of me After I was done fixing my things, I left the classroom at my usual pace. But as soon as I opened the door, I saw a tall guy with auburn hair who looked awfully familiar walked past in front of me. His face was stoic and he wore eyeglasses. For some reason, time had stopped moving in my perspective after that. When I finally regained my composure, it was when I saw that the person that walked past me was already a few steps away from me. Our distance grew further apart as he walked away. I could only see the back of that person. But the hair style and the way he walked... Why do I have a feeling that I've seen it from somewhere a long time ago? I looked at the person as he continued to walk away. He was carrying a tennis bag so I figured that he was going to the tennis courts since he might be a tennis player. I blinked when I realized that thought. Wait a minute! Tennis? I shook my head when that person appeared in my mind. Why would he appear in my mind right now, of all times? Well, it wasn't that I don't want to think about him. But because of the person who walked past me, I couldn't help thinking about him. Until the day I'll let you go Until we say our next hello It's not goodbye 'Til I see you again After heaving a few sighs, I headed the other way. I saw a guy running towards the person that I saw a while back. I think his name was... Oishi. Well, I have to blame Kana for letting me remember his name since he was Kana's crush. But I didn't have anything to do with him, anyway. Or at least, that was what I initially thought... ...until I heard Oishi called out an extremely familiar name that made me stop to my tracks and stand there frozen. Not to mention, I couldn't even breathe because of my heart beating at an accelerated rate. "Tezuka!" Wait... That was a joke... wasn't it? He didn't just call out Tezuka, right? But my ears had definitely heard it. I knew I was awake but why did I feel like I've suddenly stood in a world that could only exist in my dreams? A world where I could be able to cross paths with Tezuka Kunimitsu again... I'll be right here remembering when And if time is on our side There will be no tears to cry On down the road There is one thing I can't deny It's not goodbye But then, I needed to confirm it. I didn't want to think I was just hearing things all because I missed him so much. So I slowly turned around and peered behind me. What I saw made me think that my heart had definitely stopped from beating. It was the guy I saw who walked past me a while ago. That explained why I felt something... unexplainable and yet familiar. The feeling I've felt a while back-now I know why and where it came from. It really was Tezuka Kunimitsu-it was Kuu... I could never mistake that appearance for someone else. But before I could even think of what else to do, I ran away from that place so I could leave. I wasn't thinking properly after that. All I knew, my feet took me to the place special to me-to my grandfather's memorial hall. Right now, that was the only place where I could burst it all out. I didn't do that when I saw him because I was unsure. I had a lot of questions inside my head that I wanted to tell him. But just like what happened two years ago, I cowered. I was always weak when Kuu was involved. I just realized that right now. How pathetic of me. You'd think I'd be strong enough to make it through And rise above when the rain falls down But it's so hard to be strong When you've been missin' somebody so long I was snapped out from my musings when my phone suddenly rang. I took it out from my pocket and I saw that it was a call from Kana. I decided to answer it since I didn't want my friend to worry about me. She probably saw me suddenly running away. "Hello?" I asked as I tried not to let my voice quiver. "Kazu-chan, are you alright?" Kana asked me back in an extremely concerned tone. "I'm fine, Kana-chan. I just... suddenly remembered something that I need to do in a hurry so I ran," I lied. No matter how bad it was to lie, I just had to do it. "While crying? You can't fool me with that answer, Kazu-chan. You ran away after you peered at Tezuka-san with tears flowing on your cheeks. Is there something you're not telling me?" That was when I unconsciously touched my cheeks and my eyes widened when I felt it. It was wet. Had I been crying while running and without knowing it? But why? When I looked around, I saw myself standing in front of the memorial hall. Two days ago, I went here just as soon as I arrived from the airport. Seriously, why did my feet keep on leading my here? I knew this place was extremely special not just to me but to my family, as well. Although I wasn't sure if it was extremely special to him, too... It's just a matter of time I'm sure But time takes time and I can't hold on So won't you try as hard as you can To put my broken heart together again "Kazu-chan..." I was startled when I heard Kana's voice on the other line. Oh, yeah... I forgot that I was still talking to her over the phone. "I'll be fine, Kana-chan..." I answered. But this time, I failed in hiding the quiver in my voice. In fact, it started to crack as soon as I remembered Kuu's face as how I saw it a while ago. Even though I haven't seen him in two years, why did he still have such effect on me? I just saw him-a mere glance, at the very least-and yet, I broke down like this. It made me feel like I went back to the time when Kuu said that he would forget about me. It made me feel as if I was going to break down completely. "Do you want me to have sleepover with you? That way, you can tell me about what's bothering you personally," Kana suggested, concern was still in her voice. "No..." I mumbled but I guess she still heard it. I heaved a few deep breaths first before I spoke again. "Kana-chan, would it be okay if I ask you something?" "If that would ease your mind, it's okay." I thought about the question that I was about to ask her carefully for a while before I finally had the courage to say it. "Have you ever made one big mistake in your life that you desperately wanted to undo even if it means giving it all for that to happen?" Kana went quiet for a little while before she spoke. "I know I made a lot of mistakes in life that I wanted to undo because it changes me in a way. But Kazu-chan, we don't have that kind of ability. Yes, we have the tendency to wish for it since it tore us apart in some way. But if you're going to ask for my opinion, I think the only way for us to undo what we have done-especially if we made a mistake to a special someone in our lives-is to say 'sorry' to that person. Though I have to admit, 'sorry' is one of the hardest words to say aside from 'I love you' and 'goodbye'-especially if you really meant those words," Kana said to me seriously. I knew she could have this kind of moment. But as I thought about what she said to me, I realized that she has a point. "Sorry", "I love you" and "goodbye" were definitely some of the hardest words to say. I never said those words in front of Kuu the day I left Japan. And I guess I would never be able to do so. "Kazu-chan, did something happen between you and Tezuka-san that I didn't know?" Until the day I'll let you go Until we say our next hello It's not goodbye 'Til I see you again I'll be right here rememberin' when It took me a while to think about her question and if I should answer it. But in the end, I decided to keep it a secret even to my childhood friend. "You'll know in time, Kana-chan..." I only said, almost in a whisper before I ended the call and turned off my phone. Time will come... and they would know the hidden truth... -x-x- And if time is on our side There will be no tears to cry On down the road There is one thing I can't deny It's not goodbye I tried to act normal these past six days. Well, at least normal to those people who didn't really know me at all. But to my childhood friend, I was definitely acting weirder than my first day of school. Of course, she could tell that. Aside from Kuu, Kana was one of the people who could read me like an open book or a clear mirror. Those past six day had made me do a lot of thinking about Kuu-or maybe I should call him Tezuka-san now since we weren't that close anymore. Everytime I looked at him from afar, I could really feel that he was extremely far away from me. We were living in a completely different world now. I would never be able to reach him now even if I communicate to him through the use of music. But that one particular day made me want to do something. Of course, I would be needing Kana's help since Tezuka didn't really have any idea at all (or at least that's what I know of) that I was studying here at Seigaku's high school division. I was in a different class, anyway. After the bell rang that said about the end of that day's last class, I called Kana's attention who was currently talking to one of our classmates and also a friend of mine, Yamazaki Hanako. "What's wrong?" Kana asked after Hanako left the room to proceed to her afternoon tennis practice. "Can I ask you a favor?" And then I took a light blue paper bag under my desk and handed it to her. "Can you... umm... give this to Tezuka-san for me?" Kana's eyes widened a little when she heard that. "Why me? If it's for Tezuka-san, aren't you supposed to be the one who should give it to him?" "I can't!" I suddenly said. "I... I can't face him yet... Not yet or else, I'll break down in front of him." "Does this has something to do with what we talked about before?" she asked me, her concern for me was really showing in her voice. All I did was to nod once and sadly looked outside the window. Then suddenly, I saw Tezuka's smiling face as the wind caused the green trees to rustle. Along with that, I remembered a certain memory with him in it-a memory that I have no plans of forgetting even if everything comes to its end... -x-x- Flashback... "Kuu, look! That's the biggest sakura tree I've ever seen. Let's take a picture of it," I said excitedly as I pointed at the aforementioned tree a few yards at the back of the memorial hall. "Can we do it later? I still need to rest, you know," Tezuka said to me while catching his breath. Oh, yeah. I forgot that he had his tennis practice a while back. It was a rough one and right now, he was tired because of it. I scratched the back of my head and smiled to him apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's just that... I'm actually a little bit excited that I have to take a picture of you and me under that sakura tree for the first time. We never had time to do that before, right?" And so with that said, we decided to sit under that sakura tree for the little while. From there, we could see the sun dyed the earth in scarlet that the view was amazingly breathtaking. I decided to take a picture of it first since I couldn't possibly miss out this beautiful scenery. When I looked at Kuu, I saw his eyes closed with his back leaning on the sakura tree. It looked like he was peacefully sleeping and to be honest, he looked amazingly handsome. The wind was gently blowing and a few strands of his auburn hair had swayed along. Before I knew it, I was taking a few snapshots of that position of his. This was one moment I wouldn't definitely miss, after all. We stayed there for a few more minutes since I let him rest for as long as he liked. When he woke up, he had this frantic look on his face that I couldn't help but to giggle. I wished I could've taken a picture of that. "I have to go!" he blurted out and immediately stood up after taking his tennis bag. "Wait up, Kuu!" I shouted as I tried to catch up with him. But doing so only made me trip because of a large tree root that I didn't see as I ran to catch up with Kuu. It was a good thing that I didn't fall flat on my face. But then, as I try to stand up, I ended up falling down on my knees. I guess I twisted my ankle, then. Now how was I supposed to go home with a twisted ankle? "Are you alright, Kazu-chan?" That was when I raised my head as soon as I heard that familiar voice. My eyes began to water upon landing my eyes on that handsome face of Kuu, now looking at me with worries and concern. Before I knew it, I was crying... for some reason I couldn't explain at all. "I... I-I thought you... y-you left me..." I said in between sobs and sniffles. Geez! Why was I being dramatic and a crybaby all of a sudden? Then I saw him turned around while crouching down. "Come on. Hop on my back. I'll carry you." It took me a while to absorb what he said and my body just obliged to that. Was this guy a marionette or something that he could actually let me do what he wanted me to do? But I knew he wasn't. I guess he just had this sort of power that had drawn me close to him. Whatever that power was, I could feel its warmth engulfing me. How I wish I could stay close to his like this forever. As we were about to reach the memorial hall where my mom was surely waiting for me, Kuu suddenly but gently put me down on a bench and said, "Wait here." I was confused but then I decided to just let him be. At least I was glad that he wouldn't abandon me in this state. A few minutes later, he came back. But then I frowned at the sight of a flower on his hand. Seriously, he left me here just to retrieve a flower from... somewhere? But soon after, my confusion turned to sheer surprise when he handed me that flower-which turned out to be a purple hyacinth. Because I couldn't find a word to say something about that, all I could do was to look at him with questioning eyes before looking at the flower I gladly took from his hand. When he probably realized that I was confused about his action, he averted his gaze from me as he blushed. "Don't look at me like that. I know I don't look like the romantic guy and I'm not. I guess I won't ever be that kind of guy." "Then why are you giving this to me?" I asked despite feeling elated all of a sudden for some reasons. "The meaning..." he mumbled as his eyes softened and became sad. "I'm giving it to you because of the meaning." I didn't say anything as I looked at the flower. He gave me this purple hyacinth because of its meaning, huh? Because of that, I couldn't help but to smile at him. He looked so cute when I saw his face-particularly his cheeks-had turned into an even deeper crimson color. "Don't worry. You're forgiven..." I said before I put the flower on my chest and closed my eyes for a few moments. After that, I opened my eyes again and faced him. "Thank you for the beautiful flower, Kuu. I'll treasure this forever." "I'm glad to know that," he said before he carried me again on his back. At that moment, I knew I would never feel that warm feeling to any other person again other than Kuu. Only he could make me feel that warmth and no one else... -x-x- I shrugged off the thought in my head after I heard Kana's exasperated sigh. "When do you want me to hand this to him?" Kana asked after I regained my composure. "After I leave this classroom... Possibly ten to fifteen minutes after I left the classroom," I said and then I handed the paper bag to her. Kana took it from me and didn't dare to take a peek inside of it. "Are you sure about this?" I just nodded and took off before I break down in front of my friend. I didn't want Kana to know how weak I was when it comes to Tezuka. I didn't want her to pity me because I didn't need it. Just like the first day, I ran away from that place as I let my feet take me to... anywhere... That's right. Anywhere would be fine as long as I could burst it all out in one cry. I was tired of crying because of regret for two years. I couldn't believe that I was still crying because of him until now. When would I be able to stop these tears from falling? When I finally managed to let him go? Well, that was the problem. I couldn't let him go. Why couldn't I let go when I knew I have nothing left to hold on to? Was that how love supposed to be? That no matter how hard you try to let him go, you could never just do so because of the fact that you still love him? It's not goodbye Until the day I'll let you go Until we say our next hello It's not goodbye 'Til I see you again I'll be right here rememberin' when And if time is on our side There will be no tears to cry On down the road There is one thing I can't deny It's not goodbye... I wasn't the type of girl who could keep it all inside for a long time. So here's my question: How was I able to keep the fact to him that I love him? How was I able to bear it all and didn't let go despite the fact that he hated me now? But I guess even if he hated me now, I could never hate him back. At the very least, that was what I figured out even after he said that he would forget about me which brought insurmountable pain in my heart. I couldn't believe love would be this ironic... and possibly pathetic... -x-x- "Tezuka, someone wants to give this to you. It was kind of important that you have to receive it, according to Kana's friend," Oishi said as he handed a light blue paper bag to Tezuka as soon as they were done fixing their things so that they could proceed to their tennis practice. Oishi's words were a little serious than usual and his voice had a kind of sad hints in it that even Fuji, Inui, Eiji and Kawamura knew was weird. "Nya! Isn't that from your girlfriend, Oishi?" Eiji suddenly blurted out that made Oishi blushed slightly. But weird enough, Oishi decided to ignore it for now. Tezuka took the paper bag from Oishi without a word since he could tell that the latter was serious in some way. But then he asked himself who would actually give something to him. For sure, it wasn't from any fan girls since he clearly told Oishi not to give him something from those people. But who was this person that gave this mysterious gift to him who happened to be Miyuzaki Kana's friend if it wasn't a fan girl? You say it's over I say we've just begun 'Coz it ain't forever Until our lives are done He placed it on his desk and opened the paper bag to see what was inside. The others seemed to be holding their breaths in anticipation since they wanted to know the content of that paper bag. But then they were surprised to see that Tezuka froze in shock as he kept on staring inside the paper bag. It couldn't be, right? Wait a minute! He wasn't sure if it was really her... I know I did some things That I never should I'd undo them if I could I'd turn my life around for you Anything you'd ask me to... Just tell me... He took the contents out of the bag and looked at it. One was a mini-bouquet of purple hyacinth and the other was a music box in the shape of a grand piano. He decided to put down the flowers first and opened the music box. Upon hearing the melody it played, Tezuka felt like he went back to that time-the time that he wouldn't dare forget no matter what... "Nocturne op. 9 no. 2 in E-flat major by Frederic Chopin... Isn't this the song that we heard at the memorial hall a week ago?" Fuji said as he looked at Tezuka who remained stoic. "Memorial hall? You mean Hondou Renji Memorial Hall? I heard from Aika that Hondou Renji's granddaughter has returned from America two days before the semester started," Kawamura informed calmly. Though that information alone was enough to shake Tezuka's world from within, he didn't show it. He tried to focus his mind to the music and the flower. What must I do to make you want to stay And take the hurt away And leave it all to yesterday? So he didn't forget about me? After all those things I said to her? And to think she'd come back and give me this... Tezuka thought before he noticed a postcard of some sort inside the paper bag. He took it out, only to see that it was a light blue envelop with a card inside. He opened the envelop and saw a card-or probably a postcard like he originally thought-inside of it. But then he was wrong. What was inside that envelop was a picture of him sleeping. Wait! When and where was this picture taken? But upon analyzing it, he realized that it was taken during that special time-the day he gave Kazumi a purple hyacinth. He turned it over and saw something written at the back of the picture. What can I say to make you change your mind? To have the chance to turn the hands of time Back to the days when you were mine? Just give me one more chance for one last time. It really is her... Kazumi really returned... he thought as he noticed the familiar handwriting on the picture's back. He wanted to cry as he read the messsage but chose not not. It was a good thing the Fuji and Inui didn't see what was written on it since he has no plans of letting them know that. Without a word, he put the music box inside the paper bag after he closed it along with the purple hyacinth bouquet and the picture. Soon after, he faced the others. "Let's go," he said rather nonchalantly that wasn't new to the others. Oishi could only sigh as he saw Tezuka left the classroom with that mysterious gift. "I wonder what happened for Tezuka to act like that after looking at the picture," Kawamura said with hints of concern. "Who knows... Has anyone of you read the message at the back of that picture?" Fuji inquired. The others shook their heads except Inui. Without a word, Inui opened his notebook to show the others what he had seen at the back of the mysterious picture. They couldn't help but to feel sad for the sender after reading it. I wish I could say "I'm sorry" but I guess you'll never listen to me now that you don't want to open your heart to me anymore. I know I made a mistake when I chose to break my promise to you that time. But still, can't we start over again? I hope you still remember the meaning of purple hyacinth... I couldn't say it straight to you right now so I hope this will suffice for now... "The meaning of purple hyacinth? You mean the flower's representation?" Eiji asked after reading it. Inui took back his notebook and closed it. "Probably." "So that's what Kana meant when she said that her friend would always look at Tezuka from afar with pained expression on her face, as if she made the greatest mistake to him. It's like she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive herself-in any way," Oishi said in a serious tone that made the others serious, too. "Nya! What do you mean, Oishi? Did your girlfriend know what happened between her friend and Tezuka?" Eiji asked innocently, immediately breaking the serious atmosphere surrounding them. At this point, Oishi blushed even harder that he wanted to punch Eiji to the face and also because the person that the red head mentioned suddenly entered the classroom with an annoyed look on her face. "Eiji-kun, keep calling me Shuichiro's girlfriend and expect that the Golden Pair will break up anytime soon," Kana said in a threatening tone with her hands on her waists. Eiji hid behind Oishi. Soon after, however, her face turned solemn as she put down her hands to her sides. "I don't know what happened between her and Tezuka-san before. But I could tell that it ended painfully. And she wanted to apologize to him about it. I guess the purple hyacinth's representation says it all." "Miyuzaki-san, do you know what the flower means?" Kawamura asked. Kana nodded sadly. "A purple hyacinth means I'm sorry and please forgive me... Or at least, that's what she told me yesterday when she bought a bouquet of it." "Oh..." was all the others could say after that. "Let's just hope something good happens after all this," she said before exiting the classroom with a solemn expression and yet her eyes were sad. Oishi couldn't help but to feel worried for Kana. But that was when Inui realized something. "I forgot to ask Miyuzaki-san about her friend's name who gave the music box and the flowers to Tezuka." "I doubt if she'll tell you something about it..." "Maybe we'll find out soon," Kawamura added to what Oishi said. "After all, this is about Tezuka's past with that girl. Whatever it is, time will come and we'll know the truth. Of course, it's still up to Tezuka." "But this is something that we shouldn't let go. I must find out what happened," Inui insisted as he mumbled something while writing on his notebook. But with this situation, they doubted if Inui or any of them could find out the real story anytime soon. Only time could definitely tell what story lies within that purple hyacinth... -x-x- I won't deny it I know that I've done wrong But you have to admit it This love is just too strong But that story, however, wa something that Tezuka couldn't reveal to his friends yet. He never did so for two years and he would let that be until he could finally have that one chance to change and settle everything-to fix everything that he had broken. Kazumi already made a move-and everything else somehow followed even though he haven't seen her yet. He stopped walking and raised his head to look around. Again, to his surprise, he found himself standing outside the tennis court that was familiar to him. It was the tennis court he used to go to at the back of Hondou Renji Memorial Hall. The tennis court that held an inspiration for him to play tennis. That inspiration was none other than Kazumi herself and also, the music she usually play whenever he was practicing with his friends in that tennis court. Not only that, he also had several tennis matches there with Miyuzaki Kana's older brother Takumi who has a skill already close to a pro. And of course, Takumi knew his secret-a secret about his feelings towards Kazumi that he only realized a bit too late. To just fade away into the night Without putting up a fight We can make it all alright If we just give it one more try... Tezuka sighed and before he knew it, he proceeded to enter the tennis court. From what he could see, only a few people usually went there to play tennis nowadays. It had been a long while since he last went there. Two long years... That's how long he had last heard Kazumi play the piano. That's how long he had last seen her smile and heard her laugh. The only thing he could ever remember about the day she told him she would leave was he face contorted in surprise, hurt and regret. It was that face that had haunted him ever since. He should be the one apologizing to her, not the other way around. But that wasn't how it all happened. It was Kazumi who made the first move. She did it using the one item which held a beautiful memory to both of them. And from what he could see, Kazumi still treasured it despite... So... What must I do to make you want to stay And take the hurt away And leave it all to yesterday? What can I say to make you change your mind? To have the chance to turn the hands of time Back to the days when you were mine? Just give me one more chance for one last time... He sighed once more and then took the photo inside the paper. Despite having a painful reminscing, he smiled at the sight of him in that photo peacefully sleeping. She definitely captured the right lighting and angle of that scene that made it somewhat giving off a serene atmosphere. After doing that for a minute or two, he looked at the back of the photo. I'm sorry... Can't we start over again? Those words were surely from someone who had been through lot of suffering and regret. And those feelings were something that he had caused her... ...to his special girl... ...to the girl he could never forget... ...to the girl he had hurt and who had been the reason why he shielded his heart and isolated his true emotions to the rest of the world He only wanted that girl to know the real him... to see the real Tezuka Kunimitsu. But he had turned his back to that girl before. He turned his back on her and let her get away. And now... Now she came back. Now she was saying sorry despite the words he had said to her before. And now he realized that the love he felt for her-the love that only Takumi had managed to figure out-was even stronger than how it was before. And that was the main reason why he was hurt when she decided to leave. That hurt he had felt blinded him to the core and made him say those harsh words to her. And what can I say to make you change your mind To have the chance to turn the hands of time Back to the days when you were mine? Just give me one more chance for one last time. He was staring at the note written on the photo for who knows how long and yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. The words would never change and he clearly knew that. But those words were enough for him to know that the chance he was actually waiting to have could be just around the corner. He just needed to keep a keen eye to that before it would slip away from his hand and never let him have it again. He didn't want that to happen. Not now... not ever... But right now, all that he could care about was to think of a way to apologize to Kazumi. And this time, he woul make sure that it wouldn't be too late for him. He would do all that it takes to bring her back to his life. He just needed to figure out of a way on how to do it. He wouldn't give up until he brought Kazumi back to his life once again. Just one more kiss to last a lifetime One more chance for one last time... He vowed to do so as he stood in the middle of that tennis court-just one of the places of his memories. Please forgive me... Kazumi... Just give me a chance to say that before I lose it all and lose you for good...
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