The Elf's Royal Match (Book 4 The Wolves of Winter Valley)

Chapter 22 - Lorcan's Heart

Sinead POV

Colton refused to say why he was so adamant about me not using his birth name to mark him through the channel. Instead, he wanted to discuss it over dinner. It was a logical request and one I had no problem agreeing to, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about it. And I had plenty of time to do just that as I was basically chained to the pitch arsenal inspecting our cache of training weapons.

Why didn’t he want me to use his birth name to mark him? We had no other option.

Would he really sacrifice the full match connection to keep that distance between his new and previous identities?

While my brain conjured questions, the anger and resentment that built over my 123-year search rose and spilled over, causing me to break the broad sword I was repairing.

“Damn it!” I said, picking up the splintered wooden hilt and tossing it into the bucket for scraps. The blade could be melted down and reformed.

“I’d almost forgotten how beautiful you are when your temper is up.”

My head jerked to the left and met Lorcan’s curious gaze over the workbench I’d set up outside the shed. “Lorcan.” I looked around almost guiltily. “You’re alone.”

He frowned, tipping his head to one side, and studying me intently. “This worries you?”

Shame pushed aside every other emotion I felt, forcing the air from my lungs. “No, of course not. I actually needed to talk to you about something.”

Lorcan walked forward until only the workbench separated us. “Before you do, there’s something I need to say.”

That heavy brick of dread formed in my stomach. I only had to look into his emerald-green eyes to know what was weighing on his mind.

“Lorcan…”

“No, please, allow me to speak my piece,” he said, then rounded the table and took my hands. “The Gods brought you back to Palachia for a reason, Sinead. There was a bigger purpose than stealing a spell to help your friend. I believe they brought you back for me.”

“Lorcan…”

His hands released mine abruptly and then framed my face. “Let me finish… I’ve been lost without Maggie. The pain of her transitioning never left me, until the day you returned. When I looked upon you, that miserable ache vanished and was replaced with hope. You’ve looked for your match for so long, Sinead. Why not stop looking and be my chosen match?”

“Lorcan…” I tried again. This time I gently gripped his wrists and attempted to remove his hands from my face.

He leaned closer, and I slapped a hand on his chest to hold him back. “I always thought you were meant to be my match. By all the Gods, Sinead, I was so in love with you. It nearly destroyed me when I learned I’d been matched with Maggie. The temptation to reject her was….”

A loud ferocious growl vibrated the air around us a few seconds before Lorcan was ripped away from me and pinned to the shed wall.

“Colton! No!” I shouted and lunged for my furious match.

The tips of his fingers had turned to claws and were pressing into the tender flesh of Lorcan’s throat. A dangerously menacing growl echoed as those sharp black points drew the first trickle of blood. The infliction of the wounds seemed to jerk Lorcan out of his stunned paralysis and spurred him into action. With a few quick defensive moves, he deftly broke Colton’s hold, sending him flailing backward and me stumbling to the side. I hoped that was the end, but my stubborn match refused to give in and jumped to his feet to charge again. This time, I stepped in front of Lorcan, forcing Colton to stop.

“Colton, please,” I pleaded.

He took a step closer. “His hands were on you.”

“Yes, and I was handling it.”

“Sinead, who is this beast?” Lorcan demanded, coming to stand at my side.

I sighed. This was not how I wanted to break the news to him, but neither man had left me a choice. “This beast, as you put it, is my match, Lorcan.” Slowly, I turned to face him. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I found my match.”

His eyes swept over me much like Natasha’s had the morning after Colton and I accepted each other. “You’re not marked.”

“No, I’m not marked, yet, but I will be as soon as I’m ready,” I said with a lift of my chin.

“When you’re ready?” Lorcan’s left eyebrow raised in disbelief as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Sinead, it’s been over a century.”

Anger began to pulse within me.

How dare he look at me in that mocking, disbelieving way!

“Yes! When. I’m. Ready! In case you didn’t notice, Colton and I are two very different species. We still have much to learn about each other before we take that step.” I lied through gritted teeth.

Colton must have sensed my internal struggle caused by the lie because I felt his hand suddenly resting on my shoulder. Almost instantly, the tension that had me standing as rigid as a steel pole began to drain from my body. Lorcan’s eyes shifted to look past me.

“That is not why we are unmarked. Sinead only said that to protect my secret,” Colton said as he took my hand in his and pressed a kiss to the back. “There is no need for that anymore, my love,” he added when I met his gaze. Without taking his eyes off me, he continued, “I’m a transgender man and woefully undereducated about the process of marking for someone like myself. Sinead attempted to mark me, but the effort failed. We only just discovered she has to use the name I was given at birth and I have refused to be claimed under that name. While she has no problem with it, I would feel like she wasn’t claiming the man that I am, but the woman that I used to be.”

The questions that had plagued me since his refusal faded away. “Colton… Why couldn’t you just say that in the channel?” I asked, suddenly irritated by how much time I’d spent worrying that he didn’t want to be bound to me.

Colton shrugged and looked away. “It seemed like a ridiculous reason, because me and Faiza are essentially one and the same.”

“No, you’re not. You are two very different people and your reason is absolutely valid.”

Lorcan POV

My ego deflated a bit as I watched Sinead and her match. Clearly, they were very much in love and deeply affected by their inability to seal that connection. I felt for them but also grieved a little for lost dreams. The sole purpose of my volunteering for this supernatural war was to win Sinead’s heart. For a very brief moment, I considered challenging Colton for it. A lesser man wouldn’t have hesitated, but I wasn’t a lesser man. Everyone in Palachia knew how much she yearned to find her match and the misery being without had caused her. No matter how much I loved her and wanted her, I couldn’t begrudge her the one thing she’d dreamed of for over a century. I’d had my chance; I’d had a match. Sinead had only just received hers.

I cleared my throat to get their attention. Slowly, both heads turned and blinked as if they’d forgotten I was there. My lips curved into a small knowing smile as I offered my hand to Colton.

“Please accept my apology for overstepping my bounds. It never occurred to me to ask if Sinead was still available before professing my feelings and I never gave her an opportunity to tell me. She is a special woman and you are a very lucky man,” I said, dipping my head out of respect.

Colton clasped my hand and gave it a firm shake. “I accept your apology, but I hope you understand why I won’t offer you one.”

“You were defending the gift the Gods have bestowed upon you. I can find no fault with that for I would have done exactly the same.” I tipped my head to the two, then started to walk away and nearly collided with a much shorter, Latino man who came jogging around the shed. When our eyes met, I became overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity and froze in place, staring at him. The feeling was jarring because it was the same feeling I’d had when I saw Isabella Lawrence for the first time. It was oddly similar to the match connection, only not nearly as strong. I stepped closer to peer deeper into those dark brown eyes, hoping to find answers within, but he held up his hands and retreated a few steps.

“Whoa… Hold on there, bro. You’re kind of invading my space,” the man said, then shifted his gaze to the couple behind me. “What’s his deal?” he asked them.

Sinead came over and lay a hand on my shoulder. “Lorcan, what is it?”

I shook the fog from my mind and turned my head to focus on Sinead. “It’s the strangest thing. There is something very familiar about his eyes. Just like there was with Mrs. Lawrence’s.”

She nodded. “Well, that could be because they are two of a set of quads.”

My eyes widened. “Quads? There are four of them?”

“Yes… Two men and two women, two sets of identical twins conceived and born together. This is Evan, he’s a security officer here. You met Isabella our Head of Magical Security two days ago. There’s also Daniel, who is an Emergency Medical Technician, and Jovana, who is currently attending nursing school in New York,” Sinead explained with a smile.

“So, I can expect this feeling to happen again when I meet the other two?” I asked, suddenly irritated.

“I imagine so,” she confirmed, then added. “What exactly does it feel like?”

The answer died on my lips. The last thing I wanted to do was get into an in-depth discussion about my strange feelings with Sinead and her match. Especially not while I was still raw from the discovery. I was genuinely happy for Sinead; she’d waited for so long. She deserved to have everything the Gods had promised, but that didn’t stop the hurt I felt. It also didn’t stop me from wishing I’d asked her to be mine all those months ago.

With a sigh, I turned back to face Evan. “Please forgive my rudeness. I have no explanation for what is happening and no excuse for not exercising more restraint.” To Sinead, I said, “Congratulations on finding your match. I wish you all the happiness you deserve,” then walked away, lost and confused.

What am I to do now?

When I resigned my post, I’d left Palachia with no intention of returning and admitted such to King Liam. He was most gracious about the shifting of alliances, but I’d expected no less. The King and I were best friends, and he knew how much I loved his sister when we were younger. Though he wasn’t entirely pleased with the idea of his best friend and little sister being together, Liam did not try to discourage me from my pursuit. The strength of my feelings for Sinead convinced him that she was my match. We were both stunned when I learned I matched with Maggie Glacken.

After Maggie transitioned into the next life, Liam made an absent suggestion about me reaching out to Sinead. Of course, he hoped that the lure of joining with me would entice his wayward sister to return home. Only I knew she would never entertain the thought, not even for me. She’d found happiness within the Winter Valley pack even without her match. There was no way she’d return to a place where she felt stifled and scrutinized. When I decided to pursue Sinead’s heart, I knew I’d have to come to her, willing to make Winter Valley my home.