The Distress of Being Mrs. Roche (Girl Power)

Kabanata 03

Kabanata 03

“Peter! Are you drunk again?! Tell me who’s the b***h now!”

Napahinga ako ng malalim nang makauwi ako sa bahay. Alas-otse na nang makauwi ako. Akala ko naman ay magiging matiwasay ang gabi ko pero mukhang nagkakamali ako. 

I thought they’re already asleep. Well, kahit naman tulog na sila hindi pa rin magbabago ang ambiance ng pamamahay na ‘to. 

Puro na lang sigaw, basag ng piguring at iyak ang naririnig ko. That’s why I never stayed here for so long. 

“Wala ‘yon…”Lasing na sabi ni dad. Mapait akong napangisi at napailing. As always. 

“I’m getting tired of you, Peter! I’m working my ass off just so I could provide the needs of this family and then what?! Ginagastos mo lang sa mga puta mo! Pati anak natin ni hindi mo ‘man lang nagawang alagaan!” My mom yelled. I flinched when a vase hit the floor. 

“Ayan diyan ka magaling! Manumbat! Oo ikaw na ang successful! Ikaw na ang pinakamagaling na abogado! Sorry dahil ‘yung napangasawa mo hindi kaya pumantay sa level mo!” 

Ego. 

Sa pamilyang ‘to, ego ang pinakahuling isusuko at ibababa. Nakakatawa lang isipin dahil hanggang ngayon buo pa kami. Simula pa ‘ata nagkamwang ako, hindi na naging masaya ang pamilya namin. 

My mom is a prestige corporate lawyer. She’s a respectable person in legal field. Every lawyer and law students know her. Sabi nila sa kaniya ko nakuha ang passion ko para maging abogado. 

And they’re right. As I grow up, i always look up to my mom. because she’s a strong and bold woman. Despite of having a complicated marriage, she was able to succeed in her career. 

And dad is a complete opposite. My dad was also lawyer but he got disbarred because of unethical practices. He accepted a bribe from an official and tried to make money out of the case he held. In short, sinabotahe niya ang kliyente niya para sa salapi at kapangyarihan na makukuha niya. 

And now he’s jobless. My mom didn’t say anything. Siguro dahil mahal na mahal niya talaga tatay ko. They were okay but then one day, as my mom got more spotlight, my dad assumed that he was outcasted. Na isa na lamang siyang asawa ng kilalang abogado sa buong bansa. 

Sa mata ng tao, isa siya sa nagpaparumi ng pangalan ni mommy. 

But my mom isn’t bothered about that. She loves my dad. She won’t come this far if she doesn’t love my dad. 

But my dad doesn’t see that. He only cares about his ego. Akala niya yung mga tingin ng tao sa kaniya, ganoon rin ang tingin ni mom sa kaniya. 

Which lead them here. Every night, wala na ako naririnig kung ‘di iyak at sigaw ni mom. Sa ngayon, mukhang may nakahuli na naman kay dad sa beer house. Siguro hindi niya pa rin hinihiwalayan ‘yung kabit niya. 

“Bakit mo ginagawa saakin ‘to, Peter?! Ano bang ginawa kong masama sa ‘yo para paulit-ulit mo kong lokohin?!” Narinig kong sigaw ni mama. 

Hindi na ako nakatiis at pinuntahan sila sa kusina. Nababahala ako na baka magkasakitan na naman sila. Last time kasi kinailangan ni pa ni mom ipatahi yung braso niya dahil naging malalim yung hiwa mula sa basag ng piguring. Natamaan siya n’on kaya kinailangan siyang dalhin sa emergency room. 

“Tumigil ka na, Hilda! Hindi ka ba nahihiya?! Nagmumukha ka ng desperada! Pasalamat ka inuuwian pa rin kita kahit nabibingi na ako diyan sa bibig mo!” 

Napaigting ang panga ko nang maabutan ko si dad na hawak ng mahigpit ang dalawang braso ni mom. Mukhang kagagaling lang ni mom sa trabaho. 

“Dad!” Pagtawag ko kay dad. “Bitawan mo si mom!” 

“Peter nasasaktan ako!” Pagpupumiglas ni mom. 

“Sawang-sawa na ako sa ‘yo, Hilda! I don’t care if you have a good name and a daughter of a billionaire because you’re just nothing!”

“Dad tumigil ka na!” Pagpipigil ko sa kanila. Mom is already hurting. I can’t stand seeing her being abused by an asshole. 

Nagulat ako nang bigla akong hawiin ni dad, sanhi nang pagkabagsak ko sa mga bubog. Biglang tumama ang ulo ko sa bato kaya napapikit ako sa sakit. 

Nang mangyari ‘yon ay doon lang sila natauhan at bumalik sa mga wisyo nila. 

Umikot ang paningin ko at tila hindi ako makagalaw sa pwesto ko. 

“A-Aria…”

Narinig ko ang pagtawag saakin ni dad pero hindi ko ito pinansin at buong pwersa kong tinulungan sarili kong makatayo. 

Ni hindi ko nagawang maigalaw ang kamay ko dahil bumaon doon ang bubog mula sa mga babasagin. 

“Y-you’re bleeding…” 

Akmang hahawakan ako ni mama nang itaboy ko ito. ang kaninang madilim at malamig na ekspresyon asy napalitan ng pagaalala. Parang nawala ang kalasingan niya nang makita niyang duguan ako. 

“Your head…”

Agad akong tumalikod dito at kahit pagewang-gewang ay pinilit kong makaalis sa sitwasyon na ‘yon. 

Mabigat ang dibdib ko at nag-iinit ang dibdib ko. Mabilis ang paghinga ko at tila hindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos. 

Nanuyot ang lalamunan ko nang makapa ko ang ulo ko. Napagtanto ko na dugo pala ang dumadaloy. 

Bigla akong nanginig at namanhid dahil doon. Mabigat ang paghinga ko at tila para akong babagsak. 

Pinilit kong makalabas ng bahay dahil hindi ko sila kayang makita. Gusto kong makalayo sa pamamahay na ‘to. 

Kahit may bububog ang kamay ko ay sinubukan kong kumapit sa mga bagay na pwede kong kapitan para hindi ako tuluyang bumagsak. 

“Ariadne?” 

Nang marinig ko ang boses na ‘yon ay parang tumaas ang balahibo ko. Tila sa isang iglap ang kaninang malamig at masalimuot na mundo ay nagkaroon ng init at pag-asa. 

Nang mapaangat ang tingin ko ay napatigil ako nang mapagtanto kung sino ang nasa harap ko.

“H-hades…”

Pero bago pa ako makalapit ay tuluyan ng nanlambot ang tuhod ko at kumabog ang dibdib ko. 

At bago pa ako mawalan ng malay ay naramdaman ko ang matigas na dibdib at pagtawag ni Hades sa pangalan ko. 

____________________________________________________

“Mommy! Mommy!” 

Mabilis napadilat ang mata ko at hinabol ko ang hinga ko. That dream again. Napanaginipan ko na naman ang gabing ‘yon. 

“Mommy…” 

Bigla akong napabaling nang marinig ko ang boses ng anak ko. Napansin ko ang buong pag-aalala nito dahil sa nakalukot nitong mukha. 

“Mommy do you have nightmares again?” 

Tila parang paiyak na ang anak ko dahil mukhang naguguluhan ito. 

Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko at doon ko napagtanto na may luha pa lang dumadaloy dito. 

Sa buong apat na taon na nandito ako, pangatlong beses ko na ‘to napapaginipan. I don’t know the reason behind it but I’m getting tired being hunted by the past. 

Sa tuwing napapanaginipan ko ‘yon. Lagi na lang bumibigat ang puso ko. Bumabalik ‘yung pakiramdam sa mga naunang taon na hiwalay kami ni Hades.

“Mommy are you lungkot?” Nangingiyak na sabi ng anak ko. 

Bigla akong nataranta nang mamuo ang luha nito kaya agad akong napabangon at inalo ito. 

“Mommy isn’t lungkot, baby…don’t feel bad. I just had a nightmare,” I assured him and hugged her tightly. “Don’t feel bad. Having nightmares is a common thing. I’m okay now…I have you my love.” 

Napakusot ito sa mata niya at mahigpit na yumakap saakin. I can’t believe that he’s already 3 years old. Ang bilis ng panahon. I could still remember the time when I gave birth earlier than my due date, I cried every night because I’m anxious that something wrong might happen to my baby. 

But now, I’m the happiest mother on earth. Up until now, I’m grateful for having my son in my life. Nagkaroon ako ng dahilan para lumaban ulit at magising araw-araw. Nagkaroon ako ng lakas para magpatuloy sa buhay. 

Sa buong pagsasama namin ni Hades, ang anak ko ang nagiging dahilan ko para hindi pagsisihang papasukin siya sa buhay ko. 

“Mommy, I love you,” Malambing nitong sabi at hindi ko na napigilang panggigilan ito. 

“I love you more and more and more my baby,” I said and cuddled with her.

Kalaunan ay matapos kaming mag-bonding mag-ina ay bumaba na kami para mag-agahan. Sabay kaming naghilamos at nag-toothbrush dahil ganoon naman ang ritwal namin. 

Despite of having a demanding job, I vowed to myself that once my baby came out in this world, I’ll make sure to give all the love and attention more than a two person could give. Kahit na wala na akong oras sa sarili ko, as long as I was able to fulfill the needs of my son then ayos na saakin ‘yon. 

“Mommy no work?” Tanong niya habang kumakain kami. Umiling naman ako at ginulo ang buhok nito. 

“It’s Saturday baby, Mommy will spend her time to Maddox,” Malambing kong sabi. 

“Good Morning beautiful people,” 

Napalingon kami nang sumulpot si George. My stepfather. 

“Good Morning grandpa!” Masayang sabi ni Maddox at lumapit ito para humalik. Nginitian ko naman si George at bumati rin. 

“Good Morning, George!” Saad ko. 

Kumakailan lang nang magpakasal sila ni mom. Pagka-graduate ko mula sa college, doon na tuluyang naghiwalay ang biological father ko at si mom. Maybe because mom realized that I no longer need a family that she thought I needed. 

George was her great love and childhood friend in London. My mom was born there but grew up in Philippines because her parents had a business here. But when they died, binenta niya lahat ng businesses ng parents niya dahil mas gusto niya maging abogado kaysa maging businesswoman. 

When my mom annulled her marriage, it took years for her to entertain a man again. And when he did, of course I was skeptical at first. As her child, I’m afraid that she might experience the abuse and prison-like marriage. 

Pero noong nakita ko kung paano siya mahalin ni George, I let her do her thing. Besides, buhay niya ‘yan. George courted not just my mom but also me. At sa nakalipas na taon ko silang kasama, never ko siyang nakitang sinigawan si mom. 

Lagi niya pang pinagluluto si mom which I find it adorable. My biological father never done that. What can you expect from an asshole. 

George wasn’t as successful like my mom. George does a blue-collar job or labor work. But I never heard that he was insecure about my mom’s success. He’s even supportive and admired my mom so much for being bold and fierce. 

Sabi nga niya saakin, I resembled my mom. Minsan nakabisita na siya sa court hearings ng mom ko at nangangain talaga ang mom ko. And even though hindi niya pa ako nakikita sa court, he knows that I do better than my mom dahil mas intimidating daw ang aura ko. 

“You don’t have any plans for today?” Tanong ni George. Nagpasalamat naman ako sa kasambahay namin nang maglapag pa ito ng ulam at bumaling ako ulit sa kaniya. 

“None, I want to spend my day with my son,” I said in gentle tone and caressed my son’s back. 

“You know what Aria? I admire you so much more than you mom,” Panimula niya na nagpukaw sa attention ko. 

“Why is it?” Kaswal kong tanong habang kumakain. 

“Because even though I’m not your real father, as someone who live with you, I’ve seen your dedication to be the best in your career and at the same time, be the best mom for Maddox,” He explained. 

Bigla namang nanikip ang lalamunan ko. I was caught off guard because he never told me that.

“You’re so strong. I couldn’t even imagine how you manage to do both. But I’m proud of you. No wonder your son is my sweetest grandson, because you showered him with lots of love,” Dagdag niya pa. 

Nag-init naman ang mukha ko at mata ko kaya wala akong nagawa kung ‘di uminom ng tubig at mapangisi. 

“Com’on, George. I won’t cry in a daylight,” I jokingly said and chuckled. “But thank you…thank you for reminding me.” 

“Mommy is the best mommy in this world. I love her like this laki,” My son said. He even traced with her arms a massive imaginary circle. 

Mahina naman akong napatawa at hinalikan ito sa noo. 

“Oh baby…I love you more. Don’t grow too fast ha? I want to do this pa,” I said and hugged her. “This!” I added and showered her with kisses. 

Pagkatapos n’on ay dumating na si mom galing sa pilates class niya. She’s already in her retirement. Sa ngayon, busy na lang sila ni George na magtravel. They also help me with my son dahil nagwo-work ako. 

Pagwala sila mom, my firm is considerate to let me bring my child or bring home the files I needed for a case. 

Mga ala-una nang makalabas ako sa kwarto ng anak ko. Kanina pa kami naglalaro at naghaharutan. Mabilis siya nakatulog dahil doon kaya nang mahimbing na tulog niya. Dahan-dahan ako lumabas. 

“Dear,”

Napataas ang kilay ko nang makasalubong si mom sa aisle. 

“Oh, you’re not ready yet?” I asked. Magde-date sila ni George. Since wala naman akong pasok, I want them to take this opportunity to have an alone time. 

“Not yet,” Saad niya. “Can you do my makeup?” 

So I didn’t hesitated and followed her in her closet room. My mom may be at her 60s but she age like a fine wine. I won’t say na she didn’t do anything on herself but she did some botox. But just to enhance her beauty lang since pagtumatanda ka nagsa-sagged na yung face. 

Tahimik ‘kong inaayusan si mom nang magsalita ito kalaunan. 

“How’s work, honey?” Tanong niya at napasinghap ako habang tutok sa pagme-makeup sa kaniya.

“I’m really doing well. I do a lot of paper works and internal affairs of the firm. Mahirap na maging gahaman sa opportunity lalo na kung may anak,” I answered and sighed. 

“You know what, I heard that you’re one of the most in demand attorney here in Florida. You know that I’m proud of you but being a mom and a career woman can be hard. Don’t overwork and overdo what you’re doing. Baka matulad ka saakin,” She said but I immediately shook my head. 

“Tell that to me a couple of times and I’ll say this a thousand times. You didn’t overdo something or overwork, mom. You played your part as a parent really well. It’s just that, the man you’re with on the past imposed you the opposite,” Paliwanag ko at napangisi na lamang ito. 

“You don’t have to be mad to your father just because he wronged me, anak. You’re his daughter. You know how much your dad loves you,” She reminded me but I just smirked sarcastically. 

“There I disagree. If he really loves me, he would at least respect you,” Sambit ko na may laman sa tono ko. 

After my graduation, I decided to cut my connection with my dad. My mom and I went here in states. Nag-aral ako sa Harvard habang si mom nandito sa Florida. 

After that, I went home, took the bar and work as a lawyer. I never bothered myself to look for him or even make an effort to reach out dahil siguro, sobra na yung galit ko sa ginawa niya kay mom. 

Not only he cheated on him, he had another child and abused my mom. 

And as a child, I shouldn’t have witnessed that. I rather have a broken family than being an emotional punching bag. He may treated me differently and showered love, but I can’t grasp into that because he ruined my innocence. 

“It wasn’t about me anymore. It’s now about you, anak. If you’re afraid to reach out on him because of me——“

“I hate her to death, mom,” Mabilis at wala kong emosyong sabi. “The day he pushed me and hurt me, was already my last call on thinking that he’s my dad. He’s a monster, mom. He’s the reason why my relationship was also ruined.” 

Biglang napatahimik si mom dahil sa sinabi ko. She knows that I can’t forgive that man. Not only he hurt her but he hurt me. I wasn’t able to feel the love that a family should have because of her pride and ego. 

Dahil sa kaniya, binalot ako ng takot. At ngayon, dahil sa takot na ‘yon, nasira rin pati ang pamilya na gusto ko magkaroon. 

I attracted a man who exactly like him. A cheater.

“Anyway, Atty. West introduced me to a client, the client offered me to buy 40% of our firm in exchange of accepting the case. They also told me na they’ll make sure that right after the case, kaya nilang i-annulled ang marriage ko,” I opened up. 

“That’a big opportunity,” Kumento ni mom at napasinghap ako. 

“Yeah. But they want me to flew back to the Philippines dahil under jurisdiction ng Pilipinas ang kaso,” I worriedly said and sighed exasperatedly. 

“Can you do it?” My mom asked. 

“I think I can. It will be a good foundation to start the real “new” ones. Hindi ko na kailangan limitahan sarili ko at itago.” Paliwanag ko. “But…I just don’t want to see Hades anymore. I already moved on and have a different purpose.”

Kahit lumuhod pa siya saakin ay hindi ko ‘ata makakaya na bumalik pa sa kaniya. Lumipas na ang panahon at iba na ang prioridad ko. Mas naging maayos ako na wala siya kaya wala ng saysay kung babalik pa ako sa kaniya.

“You can’t take his son away, Aria. Whatever justification you give, it won’t change the fact that Hades needs to know about Maddox and Maddox needs his father,” Pangaral saakin ni mom at hindi ko naman mapigilang mabahala. 

Binasa ko ang labi ko at napahinga ng malalim habang bagsak ang mukha. 

“I know,” I responded in worrisome. “I know that the day will come and Maddox will meet his father. But can you blame me for being selfish? I don’t care kung mahal pa ako ni Hades o hindi na. But I know for a sure that he won’t let me go easily. “

I’m telling the truth. Hades will surely ruined my life again. 

“Do what’s best for both of you. Malaki ka na, Ariadne. You know that your decision in life wasn’t only you anymore. So be critical,” Seryosong sabi ni mom. 

No wonder why I’m this Ariadne, I got the fierceness from my mom. 

Napahinga ako ng malalim at tipid na napangiti.

“I know, that’s why I accepted the deal. I’ll go back to the Philippines, mom. It’s time.” I stated which stunned her.