Frozen Memories

New Girl has Gumption...Old Girl Being Polite

The weeks had gone just as quickly as they’d come, my nerves steadily getting the best of me as I realized the days of attending school were drawing nearer and nearer.

Dr. Byrne tried being mentally supportive concerning my jitters but there was only so much she could do. Between her work schedule and Mrs. Faltons difficult nature it was hard to be physically present.

Regardless, of all of this, it was Lisa Jones that I really needed. She made such a big deal of me going to school, she promised to call me the day before and the day of, just to be an ongoing support system. And while Ms. Groves’ talks did help settle my anxiety a little, it did very little in terms of my growing concerns over Lisa Jones’ general welfare. We hadn’t known one another as long as friends probably should, but I’d like to think that I knew her well enough to know that this wasn’t like her.

“You alright, Mina?” 

The melodic voice of Ms. Groves snatched me away from my thoughts. I looked at her for a long moment, trying to regather what we were just talking about before I feigned a smile. My mind, all the while, was still in a whirl, however.

“Of course.” I said.

Her watch of me was prolonged. I noticed as our sessions began to progress that she’d do this; I later learned, of my own accord, that she’d do this to see if I were just telling untruths to change the subject.

Usually, she’d push the subject further, but this time she apparently decided to leave it alone. She no doubt knew that I’d open up in my own time, as I always did. She stood from her seat. 

“Well, okay.” She smiled, walking out of the room and to the front door.

I decided , this time to walk her to her car, wanting to enjoy the midday breeze. I hadn’t been outside since my lunch with Dr. Byrne.

“I’ll see you next time.” Ms. Groves said to me. “And remember-” She brought my face to look at her. I hadn’t realized that I had been avoiding her gaze until that moment. It was something that I’d taken to doing so much so as not to unsettle others, it became second nature. Ms. Groves wanted this to change. “Eye contact. Boldly-don’t allow anyone make you feel uncomfortable about your rare beauty.  Be confident.” She smiled.

“Okay.” I said. She was right; it wasn’t my fault that I looked the way that I looked and it wasn’t fair for me to have to hide my mismatched gaze just because it may cause discomfort. Dr. Byrne became used to it and so did Lisa Jones; so why couldn’t everyone else?

I watched Ms. Groves drive off, waving her car away before I turned around, looking at the sidewalk down the street. Looking at the long distance of trees and grass-just the general view of outside itself made me want to go for a walk. I mean, there really wasn’t a reason for me staying cooped up in that house with a grouchy old woman all day until my terrible roommate returned home to further heckle me and make my day worse.

   I walked down the street, taking in the breeze and the sweet smell of the cool air. There were a few houses in reasonable and still close proximity to the girls’ home and following that were a couple of buildings. Some seemed empty while others looked to be occupied.

I looked at my cellular device to catch the time. I hadn’t long started walking yet it seemed I’d gotten farther than I anticipated but none of that really mattered. Curfew was more than a few hours away and I had nowhere else to be. Honestly, I had half the mind to just keep walking and never come back. What would I have been missing if I did?

I steadily kept walking, thinking about what would happen if I ran away from that home. 

“Dr. Byrne would keep in touch with me.” I muttered to myself. “But then I would need a charging wall to plug the phone up to.” My cellular device going dead would probably present a problem. “Ms. Groves would probably be concerned and I wouldn’t have any money.” I further reasoned to myself aloud.

When I suddenly came to a stop next to what looked to be a small shop, my worrying thoughts were suddenly pushed to the back of my mind. I’d never seen a place like this in real life, so naturally, my interest  was piqued. 

Through the glass paned door, I could see the different assortment of what looked to be snacks and other things. Before I knew it, I pushed through the glass door, to which a sound like a bell began to ring. I turned around quickly but saw nothing or no one; nor did I see where the ringing was coming from.       

I started to look up, thinking that maybe the sound originated from above, when. “Hello, there.” I heard someone say.      

I looked to my left and saw a lady standing behind the desk, staring at me with a small smile. I didn’t want her to think suspiciously of me; especially since she was being so courteous by speaking in the first place. So, I returned her kind gesture with a smile as well-as awkward as it might have been.

“Hello.” I greeted before taking a look around the shop full of food and drinks and other things I had no knowledge of.

“Is there something that I can help you with?” I heard the woman ask.

To this question, I was curious. I was quite sure that there was a lot that she could help me with but I didn’t know what sort of help to ask her for.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

  My question seemed to have caught her off guard. Judging by the look on her face, she probably hadn’t heard much of this question before.

“Were you looking for something in particular?”

“Oh, no.” I answered. “I just wanted to look around.” I stopped at a section in the back where there was a line of glass doors with drinks in them. I could tell from the fog at the bottom of the glass that it must have been some sort of refrigerating device.

I opened the door and a sudden brisk cool enveloped the space in front of me. It felt nice but I could tell the difference from the refrigerated air and that of which I’d experience outside.

I hadn’t realized that my eyes were closed until I opened them. I took one of the soda pops from the refrigerator and started to open and drink a sip when my eyes fell on bubblegum pops that Lisa Jones would often bring me when I was in the hospital.

I grabbed a few of them and stood at the counter in front of the older lady standing at the counter.

“Could I have these please?”

“Is that all for you?” She asked.

Looking through my pockets, I glanced her way with a smile as I looked for my monies. “Afraid so. I’d hate to have eyes bigger than what I can afford.” I said.

My words caused the lady to chuckle; per usual, I didn’t know what it was that I’d said that was so funny. I only gave her the normal curious smile before returning back to my concerns.

“$2.09 is your total.” She said to me.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t too adept in counting currencies, not having had much need to learn how this worked, considering I never had any.

I pulled out a wad of bills, each holding numerous numbers on them and placed them on the counter. “I hope that this is enough.” I said. With this, her eyes went wide and then she looked at me curiously. “Is it?”

“You’re not from here, are you?” The woman asked me.

I didn’t know how to answer that question. “I live down the way.” I answered. “But-I wouldn’t say that I am.”

She gave me a warm smile, one almost sympathetic. “I can tell.” She took one bill and handed me the remainder. “This is more than enough.” She pressed a button on the machine in front of her, one similar to that of the one at the buffet restaurant that Dr. Byrne and I went to a few weeks prior. As she was putting the currency into the machine, someone dropped a soda pop on the counter next to me and a bag. I tipped my head to the side, seeing that it was called a beef jerky.

“Put this on her tab while you’re at it, Mattie.”

I looked up to see the familiar face of Max Powers staring at me. There was a small smirk on her face and I knew that it was for me even while she was looking at the woman behind the counter.

I respected that the woman stared at me first, as if to see whether it was alright for her to do as Max Powers said. I gave her a small smile and a curt nod before she added the snacks to my total and gave me the remaining change.

“How are you today, Max?” The woman asked. They were apparently on a first name basis. 

“Better, now that I have my jerky and my pepsi.” Max said. “Hope you’re doing well.” She said.

It was odd, given her aggressive demeanor that she seemed suddenly so sincerely polite to this woman. I watched this girl curiously, all the while wondering what on earth could she be playing at.

“Doing quite well.” She said. “You girls have a good day.

“Thank you.” I said, still watching Max Powers and then turned to her with a smile. “You have a good day as well.” I said, heading for the exit.

“Come back again.” She called.

I turned around with a smile. “I will.” Before leaving the little convenience shop.

I headed down the street, figuring it was high time that I head back to the group home. There was still much more that I would have like to have ventured to see but I figured, I’d save this for another time.

“You know, it’s a good thing, Mattie there is as sweet as they come.” I heard someone say coming up behind me. I already knew who it was. “Had it been me, I would have taken you for all you got.”

I looked at this Max Powers, who was now walking next to me. I scoffed, an amused smirk upon my face. “There’s the mean little orphan girl that peeks around corners.” I said. “I was beginning to wonder what happened to her back there.” I said, referring to how nice she suddenly was to the shop owner.

Yes, my words could probably be seen as hurtful, but I was sure that this one had tough skin. I wasn’t going to keep concerning myself with others’ feelings when they didn’t do the same for me. Further resonating on it, I was beginning to learn that it just wasn’t the type of person that I was.

“Oooh, suddenly the new kid has gumption!” I heard her say next to me. I could hear the sarcasm in her words. 

“I’m sure, I have no idea what you are talking about. Nor do I really care.”

    “You know, you have the characteristics that are easily dislikeable.” Max Powers said to me. “Which is probably why Jess is in such a pissy mood today. I’m hearing it’s because of you by the way.”

“My life would be surely wasted, had I tried for a second to keep up with Jessica’s nasty little moods.”

I hadn’t realized how close we were to the house until Max Powers came to a stop. She stood in front of me, just watching me for a long moment before she decided to speak again.

“I’d be careful with this new attitude of yours, new girl. Sometimes, suddenly catching the brave heart syndrome can have terrible reverse effects.” She said, heading up the stairs. “Watch your back, kid.” she added before heading into the house.

I sighed, thinking about what Max Powers said about Jessica. It wasn't until I really did dwell on the matter that I realized how significantly bad my day was about to potentially become. I sighed, shaking my head, wondering what awaited me when I went into that home.

"At least you went for your walk first, Mina." I said to myself.