Frozen Memories

Surprise Visit, A Buffet...And Dr. Grey

Numerous times in the past two and a half weeks Ms. Groves and I met up and discussed my progress, even in there being not much to report considering I’d only been there barely two weeks.

Shortly after Ms. Groves left, I headed up the stairs again and into my room, careful not to run into Mrs. Falton. Although I found it hard not to do considering I started taking notice of how near she was every time my session with Ms. Groves ended. That in itself confirmed that she had been listening in on what was being said. This fact, of course, did not bode well with me.

    I shut the door behind me and as habit formed, I sat on the side edge of my bed, closing my eyes to try, as directly suggested by Ms. Groves, to remember my past by clearing my mind and allowing it to try and process everything of its own free will.

I lay back on my bed, my brain beginning to storm into darkness. The clearing of my mind caused slight pain, as pure blackness whirled around in my head. When suddenly, my eyes were open and there was a cold darkness. Pure white flakes, small and icy, started to fall all around me. I looked up and there was nil but obscurity surrounding still. What was this?

    I jumped at the sound of the distant echoes. A child, it sounded like-a little girl. Her exclamations were that of excitement and happiness, but her words were without form. I looked around me, hoping to see something of a vague whisper to a past ...but there was still nothing. I was suddenly alone again, in my thoughts. With-no thoughts.

    “So this is what you’ve been doing all day?”

    I heard a voice say. At first I assumed it another glimpsed thought process. However, I came into a rude awakening when the door slammed shut. My eyes opened immediately  and I quickly sat upright in alert.

    “What’s up weirdo?” The annoying scratchy voice only made my slight headache worsen into a full on migraine. This girl was top reason to the difficulties of my adjustment to this place.

In my short time at the grouping home, I had not been hard pressed to venture too far from my room. But a lot of the time, I didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter. Jessica and her best friend were constantly in the room, inhaling nicotine and taking pills. Staying and attempting to mind my own concerns, only caused them to mock and give me a constant hard time.

    I got up from my bed to leave the room when reflexive sense told me to look down. Good thing I had as when I did, I caught her friend holding her foot out, no doubt to make me stumble. Nevertheless, I decided to ignore her attempt to heckle me and walked out of the room, as I heard her mutter an obscenity toward me.

    Wandering the halls, I went down the stairs and sat in one of the empty rooms to play around with my cellular device till time called for me to close my eyes again.

    “Hey, Frost!”

    I paused tampering with my device when I heard the voice that called my name. It was familiar and while I’d heard it more than a few times when I first arrived, it was seldom that I heard it in recent days. I turned around.

    “Yes?” I answered.

    “There’s a lady here to see you.” She said.

    I was curious but didn’t bother asking her who it was, feeling had she known or even cared enough to inquire, she would have told me.

“Thank you.” I returned before making my way toward the front door.

    When I opened the door, it surprised me to see Dr. Byrne standing there with a smile upon her features. “Wilhelmina!” she greeted with a hug before backing away and giving me a once over. “You’re looking well.” She complimented.

    Still shocked, it took me a moment to reply. “So are you doctor. I must say, I am very relieved to see you.” I admitted.

    “Hm-I hear underlying tales within that deeply flattering comment.” She smirked. “You ready?”

    “Ready?” I reiterated curiously. “For what?”

    She looked past me a moment before returning her attention to my face. “To get out of here and get some real food.” She grinned.

    Food. I could never find myself tired of it. Though, thinking back on it, I hadn’t been eating much since my arrival to this place. “I would love the idea!”

    Dr. Byrne chuckled. And though, it had not even been an entire three weeks of my not seeing her, I found myself elated to look upon her face again.

    “I thought you would.” Dr. Byrne countered. “Now-come on. We don’t want to be late!”

    It only took us about ten minutes before we arrived at what was referred too as an all you can eat restaurant. All you can eat? The sound in itself was pleasurably excessive.

    When we arrived, we had to walk through a line with trays and a person asked what type of drink we desired. Needless to say, I was confused of the whole process, and fortunately for me, Dr. Byrne was there to make the hard decisions.

    I noticed that there were people giving the person standing at the large machine some sort of currency in exchange for getting past him. Panic consumed me as I realized that I did not have any green monies to give anyone.

    “I was not aware that we had to pay.” I muttered with embarrassment. Speaking such a thing aloud made me feel even more absurd. “I canno-”

    Dr. Byrne turned to me and quickly calmed down my frenetic behavior, placing her hands to my shoulders. “Mina, don’t worry.” She said softly. “I have the money.” She smiled.

    “I apologize for not having currency.” I returned.

    “It’s alright, Wilhelmina. I know that you don’t have money.” Dr. Byrne chuckled before she turned around to the man sitting at a large contraption that held the currency. “Two.” she says to him.

    He seemed to not register her right away as his gaze wanders over to me. “Whoa!” His words were low and his eyes were concentrated.

    I realized then that I had not bothered to avert my eyes from him as I did everyone else that I’d come into contact with since finding that my mismatched eyes were unsettling. So I quickly looked away. “Sorry.” I whispered in apology.

    “Hey, bud-you going to ring us or not?” Dr. Byrne said, a hint of impatience in her tone.

    “Sorry! Um $35.57.” he said.

I glanced up to see Dr. Byrne passing him a few bills, before he returned her change and continued looking at me whenever a moment was spared for him to do so.

    “By the way, it’s not polite to stare.” Dr. Byrne scorned before ushering me away.

    Leaving the line was when I realized that there were quite a few people present. Different shapes and sizes of them walking around, plates full of food. Varying varieties of food. In taking all of this in, I recognized how truly piqued I was.

    When I heard Dr. Byrne laughing, I turned my attention over to her, noticing that she was watching me. I must have had a ridiculous look on my face.

    “Come on, let’s put away our trays and then I’ll take you to the buffet.”

    We didn’t bother putting down any of our things before she grabbed two plates from a wooden counter that held compartments of numerous plates and silverware. Then Dr. Byrne led us to the three sectioned counters, each full of various foods; from meats and vegetables, to the sweetest of treats that I had never seen before.

    “This is lovely!” I gasped. “Do we have to exchange a currency for this?”

    “We already have.” Dr. Byrne laughed. “Now come on. I think you’ll love the bourbon street chicken!”

    She followed me every step of the way, allowing me to fill my plate with foods I never thought to exist.

    “Don’t worry, Mina. The food’s not going anywhere.” Dr. Byrne said to me in a teasing sort of way. It appeared that she seemed to be having quite the chuckle at my expense. However, I didn’t take anything to offense, realizing that from her point of view all of my questionable conundrums may have seemed quite odd and perceptibly amusing.

    In the process of loading my plate, I finally met the bourbon street chicken to which Dr. Byrne so excitedly talked about. Unfortunately, I only had very little room left on my plate.

    Deciding that I’d force some room onto my plate, I shoved a few pieces on. I could feel the small triumphant grin on my face as I placed the tongs back where they belonged.

    I started to turn away when an odd sense told me to look up. A pair of oddly almost pearlescent eyes are watching me. The color was odd and strange, but in some way, familiar.

    Unfortunately, I could not catch sight of the full figure before he suddenly disappeared. Shrugging, the pretty mysterious eyes away, Dr. Byrne and I headed to our seating and ate.

    Euphoria took over as I began to taste and eat everything covering my plate. The first bite that I experienced caused me to realize how much I neglected my body of nourishment. I took a sip through my straw and my drink was equally delicious as my meal.

    Not until I heard the laughing of Dr. Byrne did I lift my head from my plate to acknowledge her. I quickly felt abashed. “I-I am sorry.” I apologized, mouth full of the food that I was devouring.

    “Don’t be.” She assured with a smile before it suddenly faded. “Mina, why haven’t you been eating?” She suddenly asked.

Caught off guard, my words came out before I could think them through. “How did you-”

    “Mina, I am a doctor. I know when someone has been neglected of food. Even if it’s only been a week. Let alone two and a half. Not to mention the moot point that you have been my patient for a little over a month. Safe to say I would know.”

    To her observation, I had much of nothing to say as she was right. It was not a thing of purpose. It was not as if I had a particular preference in what I ate; not even the fact that I cared about the other girls watching me as I ate, as some did on the rare occasions that I did show up for meals.

    “Has she been starving you Wilhelmina?”

    Shut out of my thoughts I turned my gaze to Dr. Byrne and quickly clarified that lack of food availability was certainly not the case.

“Oh, I assure you that it’s not Mrs. Falton’s idea to starve me Dr. Byrne.” I said. No, I was not in the least bit, fond of Mrs. Falton; however I was not so petty as to speak untruths about her not keeping food in the house either.

    “Then why have you not been eating, Wilhelmina?”

    I took a bite of my macaroni and cheese. “I eat from time to time.” I reassured-or at least tried to. “Every so often.” Thinking further on it. “Every other day or so. Maybe.”

    “But why, Wilhelmina?” Dr. Byrne asked.

    In truth I felt no comfort in that place. Certainly not enough to come and go in the kitchen as I pleased; let alone any other place in the house. The only place I did feel at comfort, albeit for a short time, was in the bathroom during my short allowed time in the shower. Which was sad considering I assumed that one’s bedroom should be one’s place of solace when in need of peace. However, I only received such positive moments when the girls of the home were away at school.

    Nevertheless, in the discomfort of my current living arrangements, I knew that in expressing this all to Dr. Byrne, it would only upset the situation further and I was already in what I feared to be an irreversible role of dislike with Mrs. Falton. Not even to further mention my rooming mate.

    I was in a very distasteful state as far as I could see. But as distasteful as my current situation was, it could have been worse. So what true reason did I have to barrage Dr. Byrne with complaints?

    “Wilhelmina?” Dr. Byrne called to me.

    I looked at her and smiled. “I’m fine, doctor.” I said. “Adjusting to things just take time.” I added before I began eating again. I only hoped that she would adjust the subject to something that did not call for further imprecision on my part.

    “Dr. Byrne.”

The conversation was interceded, fortunately, by a voice that I had not heard in what seemed forever but could never forget. Even in my unclear feelings of trust towards this person, the sound of his silk voice brought an unwilling comfort still.

I looked up into those familiar ember eyes. He watched me for a long moment before turning his attention to a fumbling Dr. Byrne again.

“Mr. Grey!” Dr. Byrne greeted, wiping her lips and standing from her seat. I even noticed her shift her held up hair around and straightening her shirt. “It’s been a while!”

    “Yes, well I’ve had quite the bit of business to take care of with the family lately. That coupled with scheduled surgeries. It’s been hectic. And I told you Dr. Byrne, it’s Killian outside of the workplace.” He smiled. “I’d think with our history we were past last name basis.”

“Well, I’m only so formal with you because you are with me, Killian.” She giggled. It caught me off guard how suddenly-girlish she was being toward this man.

“I will try my best to remember that for next time, Joselyn.” He said, before returning his gaze to me. “Wilhelmina, Frost.” He said my name, a pause with each word that he said. “It is...very fortuitous to see you again.” He said. “How have you been faring?” He asked me.

I hadn’t realized that I still had food in my mouth until it was time for me to answer. I swallowed and nodded my head. “I’m-okay.” I said.

“And your memory?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No. Nothing.” I answered solemnly.

“You seem, dare I say, quite competent. That’s good.” He said.

“That is because I am-for the most part-” I assured. “Grammatically speaking.”

He smiled. “I see your language has gotten better as well-no more slip ups?” He asked.

So many questions coming from this man; it almost felt like an interrogation. I didn’t know how to feel about what he was asking me.  Surely, any curious doctor that was concerned about a patient would inquire about such things. However, something about him told me that this wasn’t the case. And his last question almost seemed like hinting of something in between the lines.

“I apologize for the barrage of questions.” He said as if suddenly realizing himself.. “I’ve just been so curious about you since I had to leave so unexpectedly. Seeing you here now, I didn’t want to miss the chance to see how you were faring.” He said. I didn’t believe him.

“Thank you, Dr. Grey.” I smiled. “For your concern.”

He smiled and  nodded, though his gaze lingered on me a little longer than expected before he spoke again, this time to Dr. Byrne.

“Well I must be getting back to my boys.” He looked at Dr. Byrne, taking her hand into his. “Until we meet again, Joselyn.” He said.

“We work together Killian. I’m sure that’ll be soon.”

He watched for a moment and kissed her hand. “You know I don’t mean at work.” He said, winking before taking his leave.

I watched as Dr. Byrne stood there for a long moment, watching as he departed before she sat down across from me once again. Oddly, she shifted her gaze between me and her plate before she started to eat again. Her expression seemed odd and abashed. I found it silently befuddling and amusing, realizing that she had not paid so much attention to her food until now.

    “What?” she suddenly said, interrupting my assumptions.

    Because she asked, I decided to inquire. “Are you infatuated with the Dr. Grey?”

    “What?” Dr. Byrne incredulously replied. “What do you mea-why would you ask-what would make you think that, Wilhelmina?”

    I shrugged. “I admit it forward of me to inquire such a thing-and I do apologize for it.” I quickly added. “I do not mean to offend y-”

    “Mina, Mina-you’re fine.” She assured with a chuckle. “I’m not at all offended.”

    After she clarified, I continued on with my inquiry. “So, I assume that there is something of a past between the two of you.”

Dr. Byrne gives a nervous chuckle. “I’ll admit-” she sighed. “We have had a few, passionate run ins in the past.” Her cheeks flushed before she continued. “But that is what it is-a past.” She assured, her gaze suddenly distant and entranced as if she was remembering one of those special moments that they shared.

    “He seems to think he will see you again outside of work.” I countered with a smile. “Will he?” I asked.

    Dr. Byrne who started eating on her plate again, paused and looked at me before blushing again whilst shrugging her shoulders. “I-I don’t-”

    “Know?” I finished. I began to smile when I saw the doubt on her face. “Surely you must.” I said. I didn’t know how I felt about this man but there was something going on between he and Dr. Byrne and I was sure it wasn’t something new. I trusted that Dr. Byrne knew what she was getting into with this strangely handsome man.

Dr. Byrne stopped what she was doing, and looked at me once more, caught off guard at my response I’m sure. “You really think I should?”

    I chuckled. “Dr. Byrne, I have not been in this world long, but a distant part of me knows mutual attraction when I see it.” I pointed out. “If it suits you to see him again, do not refuse yourself the pleasure.” I added before I began on my plate again.

    I didn’t realize that I was being watched until I noticed the silence at the table. When I glanced up to take a sip of my beverage I saw that Dr. Byrne was staring at me.

    “Dr. Byrne?” I said. “Did I say something w-”

    “You are an amazing young woman, Wilhelmina.” She shook her head.

    Now it was my turn to be sheepish and abashed. “I’m not as amazing as you think doctor. I only speak what makes sense to me.”

    Dr. Byrne shook her head at my response. “No. There’s something wise within you, Wilhelmina.”  She said, taking my hand from the table, wrapping it in her own. “A good in you-that is found in very few people these days.”

    “Thank you Dr. Byrne.”

    She didn’t say anything right away, appreciating the silence for a moment before she spoke again. “Lisa was supposed to come, but considering the fact that she has not arrived in the two hours we’ve been here, I think it is safe to say that she will not be joining us.”

    “What a shame.” I uttered. “Something must have intervened with her plans.” Admittedly, I was disappointed.

My assumption of Lisa Jones apparently was not the same for Dr. Byrne judging by the look on her face. Her expression almost seemed to hold disagreement. Nevertheless, I did not have the chance to respond before she rose from her seat.

    “Let’s go get us an ice cream with the works and get you home.”