Strangers with Midnight Memories

Chapter One : slipped through me

I abruptly stopped kissing him and stepped away from him.

He was taken aback by what I did, and his red irresistible lips stayed open.

"W--why? Did I bite you? I'm sorry."

I want to cry. But I'm afraid I can't. Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. Una palang alam ko na yung pinasok ko kaya wala akong karapatang umiyak. Kinuha kong muli ang mga damit ko at diretso na akong nag damit sa harapan niya.

"Hey.. Rosheen.. did I do something wrong?" hinawakan niya ako sa kamay habang kinukuha ko ang bag ko na nasa sahig rin.

Wrong? All of this is wrong.

Tiningnan ko siya, he's confused.

What hurts me the most is that he had no idea what he said. Wala sa isip niyang iyon ang sinabi niya sa akin without even realizing it.

"No. You didn't bite me. I just.. I need to get home right now. M—my dad.. He's probably looking for me, and I don't want anyone seeing me."

Lumakad na ako palabas ng kwarto niya at nakita ko ang Papa niya sa lamesa na nag-aayos ng pagkain.

"Good morning po." bati ko sa dito.

Halatang nagulat din siyang makita ako. "Ah.. m--magandang umaga... kumain ka na muna bago ka umuwi." anyaya niya sa akin.

Ngumiti ako, "Salamat po... pero kailangan ko na po kasing umuwi, baka hinahanap na po ako ni Dad."

Tumango siya, "Sige.. ahh.. sa susunod na lang. Mag-iingat ka."

Ngumiti muli ako at tumango saka ako mabilis na lumabas ng bahay nila at nang tuluyan akong makalabas ay parang tumigil ang buong mundo ko at ramdam kong napatigil din si North sa likuran ko.

“N–Na–Nahla?” by just one word, North's voice conveyed every feeling I could think of.

Hindi ako makagalaw, it's as if an avalanche is in front of me, and I've frozen in place. I couldn't blink, move, or utter a word.

Nahla, on the other hand, froze, but her eyes searched me from head to toe, and as she met North's gaze, tears streamed down her crimson cheeks.

She didn't say anything, and just as she was going to turn away, North slipped through me like thin air and rushed to her.

Para bang may biglang bumara sa lalamunan ko dahil sa mabilis na naging reaksyon ni North. He chased after her without even looking back.

Hindi ako makahinga, so I put my right fist over my chest and my left hand on my neck. I feel like I'm drowning and there's no breath in my lungs. Umiwas na ako ng tingin at papikit-pikit akong at paikot ikot habang hinahabol ang hininga ko.

I manage to get in my car at pinilit ko ang sariling paandarin iyon kahit na hirap na hirap pa rin ako sa paghinga.

Nagsimula nang mag-unahan ang mga luhang kaninang-kanina ko pa pinipigil. Humahagulgol na ako sa sasakyan at mabilis ang patakbo ko. Nang hindi ko na talaga masyadong makita ang daan dahil sa pag-iyak ay tumigil muna ako sa isang tabi.

Doon na ako tuluyang umiyak ng umiyak. Sobrang sakit... hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa ba.. hindi ako makahinga, parang sasabog ang dibdib ko sa sobrang sakit. Paano ba ako napunta sa ganitong sitwasyon? Bakit ba hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na mapunta ako sa ganito? From the start I know that this is wrong. Kahit na gaano katama ang nararamdaman ko, kahit na gaano ako kasaya alam kong mali ito... alam kong sa huli iiyak lang din ako at masasaktan pero ipinagpatuloy ko pa rin.

Paulit-ulit na bumabalik sa isip ko yung katotohanang subconsciously he still thinks of her even while he's with me. Iniisip niya pa rin si Nahla sa bawat maiinit niyang halik sa akin.I can still hear him whispering her name. And the way he followed her without even looking back to see whether I was okay. If all of this hadn't affected me. How easily he forgot about me. That I'm still there, that I'm the one he's following first. I always know that I'm always the first one, pero bakit ganon? Bakit sa kabila ng lahat lahat ng nangyari at nangyayari sa amin, bakit si Nahla pa rin ang nasa isip niya? Kahit isang beses ba naisip niyang ako ang kasama niya? Kahit ba isang beses consciously alam niyang ako ang kasama nya gabi gabi? Kahit kailan, kahit gaano kapusok ng mga gabi namin ni hindi ko man lang narinig na ibinulong niya ng ganun ang pangalan ko. Ni hindi ko man lang naramdaman na masaya siyang kasama ako o kung napapasaya ko ba siya.

Now I realize that, even though we spent several nights together, he's really not with me. He's always with her. His thoughts are always with her.

Ang sakit... gustong-gusto ko nang tumigil sa ganitong setup pero hindi ko magawa. Matagal ko nang gustong matauhan pero patuloy parin akong nagpapakatanga. Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na kapag tumawag siya wag kang pumayag, wag mong sagutin… tigilan mo na 'tong katangahan na 'to Rosheen, lumayo ka na kay North, mali ito... pero... sa tuwing naiisip ko siya, makikita ko siya... sa tuwing maririnig ko ang boses niya sa telepono at pinapapunta niya ako sa kanila o kung pwede kaming magkita... I totally lost control. I agree without hesitation, despite the fact that I am completely aware that all of this... it means nothing to North.

"Where were you last night?!" my dad instantly asked me as I walked inside our home.

Nilingon ko siya, donning my sunglasses to hide my swollen eyes.

Nakabuo na agad ako ng mga idadahilan ko sa kanya.

"I was at the beach.”

Being with North for the entire summer pushed me to lie this straight without even stuttering.

“For the entire night? You were at the beach?” he asked, puzzled.

I avoided his eyes by nodding and without saying anything.

"You slept on the beach?" hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong.

“Yes.” I said, still not looking at him.

He took long breaths, which made me uneasy.

“Tell me the truth, Rosheen. Are you seeing that Adler boy?" he speculated.

Nagulat ako sa tinanong niya. How did he find out about it? Did Kairos tell him?

"W–what.. what are you t–alking about?" I asked, stuttering.

"Someone saw you two meeting behind Trademark mall on Thursday night last week.” He seemed certain of what he was saying.

"W–who t—told you that?" I'm beginning to stammer.

"It doesn't matter who told me. The point here is why are you seeing that boy?" There's an insult in his voice.

"I'm not seeing him, Dad. If anyone saw us at Trademark it was probably because we bumped into each other or something." If I'm still able to deny it. I'll deny it.

"Are you lying to me now, Rosheen?" he asked, his gaze narrowing on me.

"I'm not lying...”

He took a deep breath, hindi parin siya kumbinsido, alam ko.

"Stop seeing him, or if you don't see him, stop talking to him. I don't want to hear any rumors about you meeting up with a boy who's already dating someone especially, when you’re getting engaged this coming week. That's not good for you, for the Valntynes and for the public eye especially now that the election is coming. Do you understand what I'm saying here Rosheen?"

Muling nalaglag ang mga panga ko. How can someone like my father be so selfish?

“Are you really pushing that engagement?”

“Of course! Hindi porket naglayas ka kagabi ay mababago mo na ang lahat, and don't do it again or else-”

“What else, Dad? Are you going to do things that I don't like again? Those things that would completely change my life?” putol kong tanong sa sinasabi niya.

"I don't care if you want any of this or not, and I'm done talking about it, Rosheen. It's done. Just do what I say," he said flatly, at tinalikuran na niya ako ng tuluyan.

I truly hope that one day I will be able to do anything I want and be free of all of this.

–

Blair has been the town's leader since the late 1800s, and I was born into a political family. Kaya naman ayaw na ayaw ni Dad na sa akin magmumula ang pagkasira sa kinagawian na ang pamilya namin ang laging Mayor sa maliit na town na ito. He is already dissatisfied that I am a woman and that when I marry, I will adopt a different last name; now he believes I will do something to derail his campaign. But I can’t blame him, because I've never been the cooperative daughter I used to be since this summer.

I try to live my life as perfectly as possible. I obeyed all of Dad's rules. But this summer, I lost all of the efforts I've done because of North. Yes. All because of that stupid but most wonderful night of my life.