Clinging To Secrets

8

I drag myself over to our lunch table, feeling annoyed and to be honest I want to go home. I have just had a lesson sat with Andrea, she is the most annoying person ever! She just talks about all the guys she likes and that they obviously like her because they always stare at her. I just wanted to say it is because she literally comes to school in the nude, she only wears like bands of fabric just covering her ass and t**s, I mean come on! We live in a place where it is cold like all the time and that's what she chooses to wear? I sometimes question humanity...

I sit at our table instantly feeling better as I'm with my friends but Piper quickly insults me "What the f**k are you wearing?" she asks referring to my jumper "Are you talking about my lovely jumper?" I ask her "Yeah, and your 80s hair. What is that jumper, it's giving me a headache take that s**t off" she says "If you insist" I say standing up "Riley give me some music" I say and Riley looks around panicked "I don't know!" she squeals "Fine, fine I guess this is going to have to be a solo act" I say humming a random tune, I dance around stupidly and pretend to take my jumper off like I'm stripping so I lift my jumper up with my hands, when two hands grab mine yanking my jumper down. "Why are you stripping?" a low growl sounds in my ear, sending shivers down my spine, I'm not sure if it's in fear or pleasure. I can't speak, I only blush madly I feel his hands grip onto my waist lifting me up so he can sit down and he sits me on his lap, his arms wrapped around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder as I feel all of my friends and as well as my brother and his friends' eyes on us. I try to get out of his hold but he only grips onto me tighter, I awkwardly place my hands on the table, not knowing what to do. I am not sure how to act around him because of the events that have happened since last week.

**FLASHBACK**

On Saturday, the morning after the party, I woke up in my room as normal. But then as I showered and got ready for the day I started to remember everything that had happened; kissing Brennan, the forest, the wolves, headlights and Jason, saving me.

As soon as I remembered, I went downstairs and as expected I had a lecture from my dad, telling me off for drinking and going to a party without telling them. I noticed that everyone was here, and when I say everyone I mean everyone. Piper, Cassie and Mia were sat on the sofa with Kian, on the other sofa was my mom, dad, Zac and Jason, on the chair was Nate with Riley cuddled up to him, they are so cute. So I sat on the floor, by the coffee table and everyone was silent, staring at me. I suddenly felt self conscious, so I ran my hands through my hair and checked my shirt for any weird stains or something, but nothing was there, I was fine. I gave everyone a weird look "Uh, is there something you want to say? Or are you all just gonna stare at me?" I ask, they all seem to turn their heads to my dad and my dad nods then looks at me.

"What do you remember from last night?" he asks, I raise an eyebrow "Why do you ask?" I say "Just answer the question" Jason snaps, I roll my eyes. "Fine but dad, don't get mad at me. And Piper don't say anything about you know who" I say sending a look to Piper who just smirks "Oh you mean, Brennan? The guy who you went to the party with, sure, I won't say anything. My lips are sealed" she says "Who is this Brennan?" my dad, Zac and Jason all growl at the same time "It doesn't matter" I mutter "Yes it does, is he your boyfriend? I thought I told you no boyfriends until you are 30" my dad says looking angry "30!" Jason says "I know right, dad you're being uptight" I say, before anyone can interrupt me I tell them everything, leaving out what happened with Brennan because I don't want to be responsible for the death of him as my dad and brother would most certainly kill him, and also shortening the part with Jason just saying I saw him in the forest and then he saved me from getting ran over.

"You saw a group of wolves coming towards you?" my mom asks "Yeah, so I ran away and nearly got ran over then Jason saved me" I say all in one breath, I look around at everyone who are all in silence. But I notice a look my dad is sending Jason who looks slightly pissed, as they continue their intense stare off. "Do you think they wanted to eat me?" I squeak in fear and slight disgust, at the thought of my limbs and flesh flying all over the place as I'm mauled by ferocious wolves. "No, of course not, we wouldn't do that" Riley says "We?" I ask "She meant to say they, the wolves, would never do that" Kian says "Yeah, yeah that was totally what I meant" Riley says "Riley just gets a bit... Confused... Sometimes... Because of... Nate. Yeah, Nate! He is just flusters her mind so much she can't think straight" Mia says "I do not!" Riley says "Shut up Riley" Piper hisses.

"Jason says he doesn't remember saving you" my dad says, I hear a growl from Jason but my dad keeps his gaze on me as Jason stares at my dad with pure anger and frustration. "What do you mean..." I ask, trailing off "He says he never saw you yesterday, he only just got back from a... Trip this morning" dad says "Are you sure, Jason?" I ask him, although he's facing me I notice that his eyes are focused on the floor, not on me. Which is unusual, especially for him. Normally, he stares at me so... Intensely. It makes me feel like I can't take my eyes off of him, his gaze demands attention and he doesn't like it when I don't look at him in the eyes, he always wants our eyes to meet and it always looks like he is trying to figure me out, read what I'm feeling. Like I do with him, sometimes his eyes are so raw with emotion, I can tell his frame of mind by his emerald eyes.

"Yeah" he said, still avoiding my gaze and running a hand through his hair, showing he's stressed about something. "You must have had a bit too much to drink" Kian says "Yeah, probably" I say "But, how did I get home?" I ask because the last thing I remember is basically fainting in Jason's arms. "I found you passed out in your car" Zac said making me even more confused "How did you know where I was?" I ask "Dad has a tracker on your phone" he says "What? Why?" I ask "You are my daughter what do you expect" he says as if it is so obvious. "Anyway, so basically you got drunk, passed out, then you dreamed about Jason" Piper says making me go bright red "No, why would I dream about him?" I ask "What's wrong with dreaming about Jason?" Cassie asks "N-nothing, it's just I don't okay. So leave me alone" I say standing up and dragging myself out of the room as I still feel my face burning with embarrassment.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

It felt so real though, and I know everyone probably thinks I'm crazy, so I just went with it and no one talks about it. But I can't help but feel like it happened, in real life.

"Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, SOPHIE!" I shake my head trying to get my thoughts away, if that's even possible. As I look around I notice that everyone is staring at me "Huh?" I say, confused as to what just happened "You've been zoned out for about ten minutes" my brother says "Yeah, I just told a really interesting story and you didn't even listen!" Piper says scowling at me, "Uh, sorry" I say, still flustered and kind of all over the place "No smart comeback? Wow, are you alright?" Cassie asks "I'm fine." I say, "If you say so" Mia says and everyone starts talking.

I can't help but wonder, what if it was a dream? I mean would Jason really say that? I mean why would he say that if I died he wouldn't be able to live? So it was obviously a dream, I can't believe I dreamed about Jason, I can't like him, I don't like him and I know that but I don't think my body or my sleeping self knows that, as every time he touches me I feel tingles and butterflies, and now I dream about him, fantastic.

"Sophie?" I hear a low voice in my ear, I can tell it's Jason by the way I involuntarily shiver at his voice, god I'm annoying. I only need to turn my head slightly to be face to face with him, a breath away. And I realise that I'm still on his lap, I decide not to move as knowing Jason he would only tighten his hold on me. "Hmm" I say, looking into his dreamy eyes that seem to sparkle even more than in my dreams, what am I thinking! "Are you alright?" he asks, bringing me out of my lecture to myself as I look back at him, he seems to have genuine concern. "Like I said, I'm fine" I say, he growls slightly, great, I've annoyed him. Again. "I don't like it when people lie to me" he says sounding very intimidating. "I'm not" I say, "Yes you are, now tell me what's wrong" he basically commands me to, like I'm some sort of pet, now I'm annoyed. "Why do care?" I snap, he seems taken aback by my comment but then he regains his composure. "Don't speak to me like that, I've warned you before" he snarls "Whatever" I mutter, not wanting to bother with him. I try to pry his fingers from me but he won't let go, "Get off of me" I hiss at him not wanting to attract attention "No" he says "Jason" I say "No" he says "Cassie, can you get your brother to let me go" I say "Jason leave her alone" Cassie says but Jason doesn't even pay attention.

I huff in annoyance and start wiggling around "Get off of me, you crazy, weird, annoying thing!" I say "Thing? Wow you're nice" Kian says "Please, I need to go" I whine "Where?" Jason asks "It doesn't concern you" I snap again, I hear him growl making me roll my eyes this time, I lean forward on the table with my head in my hands. "I literally hate you right now" I say, I instantly feel his grip on me loosen giving me a chance to get out of his hold, which I do. "Sophie, how could you say that?" Riley says stunned, probably because she's all about loving everyone. "It's true" I say, "Anyway, I need to go" I say "Bye" I say and leave not waiting for a reply from anyone as to be honest, I want to be alone.

I walk down the corridors, occasionally returning the greetings and friendly smiles and waves from various people. I end up in the library, sat in the corner on one of the tables, my earphones in and homework sprawled across the table as I try to push my problems and social life to the back of my head and focus on my work. Sometimes I feel like I take on too much, I mean I'm a cheerleader and we practice as often as possible which is normally everyday, and a couple times a week I work at my parents restaurant, I have tonnes of homework, and I feel like I'm going to explode. When I'm not doing any of that, I want to keep busy so my mind doesn't wander to my most annoying thought, Jason, So to avoid his stupid gorgeous face, captivating green eyes, sharp jaw line, perfect face, thick luscious hair and God like body, I have to go on runs, go out with friends or guys, party, drink, anything to get him out of my head. I don't even know why I think about him, I don't like him, he scares me and yeah, he's good looking and he can be really sweet, even though he seems to be sweet in my 'dreams' and not so much in real life. My mind is obsessed with him and it annoys the crap out of me. Great. I'm thinking about him again.