K A I

Chapter |10| Romano Family Dinner

K A I ' S P. O. V

Does love make you smile? Like all the f*****g time?

Seriously, my face hurts from all the f*****g laughing and grinning and smiling I've been doing this past hour. Normally I'm no objection to grinning, in fact I like to think I'm a relatively happy guy, but Emery makes it all real.

The smiles and the jokes were always a deflection from the truth. To stop people asking if I'm alright, if I'm happy, and now it's true.

With Emery, I am everything I used as a front. I'm happy with my life, and she's the driving force of it all.

All of us laugh, as my niece starts feeding Emery her peas. Expect Kiara of course, who was pushing for daughter to eat her vegetables as well as the pasta.

Unfortunately 2 year old Calista is the cutest f*****g thing in the whole world so it's difficult to be mad at her. My sister even cracks a smile at her devious child and kisses her head in earnest.

Emery grins next to me, talking softly to Calista who sits on my lap.

I wonder if this could ever truly be us. Raising a baby together in perfect content.

Then I meet my father's eyes, and suddenly the fantasy comes crashing down before me. We've always been at odds, but ever since Kalen's death, it's amplified so much more that it's difficult to be in the same room with him.

The tension is subtle enough that Emery doesn't notice, but my mother does.

"Dessert!" She exclaims, standing up and grabbing Calista who starts babbling cookie endlessly. Anastasia and Caitlin quickly follow them, whilst the table falls into a somewhat awkward silence.

"Emery," My brother pipes up. I clutch her hand desperately, knowing exactly where this is going. "Would you like to see the garden? It's beautiful this time of night and we've recently had a fountain installed."

She glances at me first, but I simply shrug. Even though inside I'm screaming out for her to stay. "Uh sure. That'll be great." The screech of her chair, drags against my ears and I can hear my heart thud violently as she leaves.

It's not her fault, it's mine. She doesn't know how much I hate being left in a room with only my dad for company, she doesn't know the family history that imbues our negative relationship .

Now just leaves my sister and her husband. I give her a pleasing look that reads I will literally do anything, just f*****g stay!

She bites her lip nervously, then makes her choice. "Aaron you said that you would help me with that...thing, remember?"

"Right, that thing." There is not thing but I recognise the glazed look in his eyes when he grabs her hand. He's going to f**k her in the bathroom. Jeez.

"Kai, how's work?" The tick of the clock echos loud in my ears.

"It's fine. You?" Its a slight dig since he's supposed to be retired, and he doesn't miss it.

"I haven't actually done any work in a while. Your mother and I are flying out to Portugal next month."

"Leisure or business?"

"Leisure, Kai. Will you stop being so f*****g hostile with me?"

"I'm simply paying an interest into your life."

He barks out a humourless laugh. "Bullshit. I just want to...be there for you son. I know I've been hard on you in the past but I want to change."

These are my mother's words, but I let it pass.

"So am I. Hence, Emery."

"She's the first girl you've ever brought home. Must be serious."

"It is. I...care about her a lot." He fixes on the care.

"Not love?" He had this epic love story with my mother, filled with heroism, guns, an arranged marriage and a k********g.

"We're getting there, it's only been a few months."

"Yet she's special?"

I slam my fists on the table. "f**k, dad what do you want from me?" He's one of the only people in the world to cause me to lose my temper.

"Just the truth." He states calmly. "Why are so angry at me, son?"

He knows. I know, and it's been festering between us for far too long.

"You asked Kieron for his permission before you chose them but you just glanced over me. Like I was nothing, like I haven't worked all my life for you, for the business, for our family's legacy."

Fuck, it feels good to let out.

I've been so angry at the fact he didn't ask me before choosing Kiara and Aaron as his successors. He didn't even consider me, I was a joke to him and I always have been.

"Kai, I didn't mean to make you feel like that. Honestly, I had no idea you wanted the position."

"I didn't know if I did dad, but following tradition I was next in line and you didn't even ask. Of course, I'm happy Kiara and Aaron are the heads now, but the fact you thought I could handle it, that I wasn't even worthy of being considered, f*****g hurts."

"Son..." He crosses the room to me and pulls me up. My father is a strong man. I can count the number of times I've seen him cry on one hand, and yet today, fresh tears wet his cheeks.

He doesn't attempt to wipe them away. He lets me watch them drip.

"I don't ever want to make you feel like that. You are my son. A boy I raised into a great man and I love you. I thought I knew you well enough to know you wouldn't want the position, it's too confining, too restricting for a man like you."

"A screw up." I murmur.

"God no. You are spontaneous, fun, you seek the thrill. A life being the head of this family would slowly suffocate you and it would kill me to watch. I should have asked you, I was stupid not to and I've made so many mistakes since..."

"Kalen." He still haunts our family.

Through Tessa's absence and inability to ever stay at the mansion, mom's refusal to accept his death, my dad avoiding it, Kiara and Aaron still haunted by what they witnessed, Kieron barely being able to say his name without breaking into tears.

And then me, consumed with heavy guilt everyday for not saving my big brother. For not protecting him like he always did for me. For not telling him I loved him.

"Yes, Kalen. I was lost Kai, for so long and I wasn't appreciating the life before me. I'm sorry, I promise to be better."

I nod, "Me too." Emery has taught me so much, and in that I hope to rebuild my relationship with my father.

He hugs me tight, as though terrified I'll dissipate in his arms.

As we pull away, he uses my napkin to dry his eyes. "How did Emery take it when you told her everything?" I don't respond. I don't even look at him. "f**k, Kai."

There's so much s**t that comes with being apart of this family. Only Tessa ever knew as an outsider and her reaction was weirdly tame to the fact she was marrying into one of the most prominent mafias in the world.

Emery...she's different. She didn't grow up with my family, she doesn't know that underneath the death, and the drugs and the violence, there's love. A love strong enough to take down armies and build an empire.

I need to make her see that first.

"I'll do it. Just not yet."

"Kai, she needs to know. It's fair to her. If that girl falls in love with you, without knowing the whole truth, it'll be a life. A fantasy that you've concocted and trust me, you can't start a life that's been built on a facade."

"But what...what if she leaves me? What if it's too much?"

I hate the look in his eyes. It's telling if everything I already know but refuse to admit to myself. "Then you have to find the strength to let her go. This life isn't for everyone and if you want her to live, happy and the same woman she was when you met, then you'll let her go."

But he's wrong! She isn't the same woman from when we met and I'm not the same man.

We've changed one another, and letting her go won't just kill me, it'll kill the person she's let herself become. The person she admires and respects and smiles for.

Fuck. Maybe I should tell her tonight? Or tomorrow in private at her apartment? Or maybe...

"Hi babe," I stroke her soft arms that are wound around my neck.

Emery brushes her lips against my cheek and my anxiety eases as I rest into her. "Your brother showed me the entire estate! I knew you were rich but not that rich."

"My family is classed as old money, as Nick Caraway would put it." I turn so I kiss her properly and she melts into my body, our tongues creating heat that can't be explored as the rest of my family trifle in.

I don't miss Kiara sticking her shirt back into her pants, or Aaron's smug smile. Neither does my dad, who ends the smile with a sharp glare.

We all take our seats again, just as my mom emerges with freshly baked cookies, ice cream, and a bowl of jelly large enough to feed the entire state.

"Mom where are the kids?"

"Watching television, they've already eaten dessert." My mom eases Kiara's maternal anxiety.

"Gabi, I think the three course meal you've just served filled us all up." My dad interjects.

She huffs. "Everyone has room for dessert Ryder."

My dad grins and I cringe, knowing where this is going. "I do love your jelly." He wrestles her onto his lap and savagely kisses her, whilst she attempts to push him back but then succumbs.

I grimace and finish off my beer. Kieron passes me another, also avoiding our parents . "Your parents are cute."

Emery practically has heart emojis in her eyes as she watches them. "Trust me. It's not when you had to suffer through it everyday growing up."

"Kai your parents love each other. That's beautiful. Mine barely tolerate each other at times."

"Why are they still together?" As far as I knows they're both still married and live close to the clinic.

Emery frowns and shakes her head. "I have no idea. I regret inviting you over." In a few weeks, we would be doing this all again, expect I would be the one meeting the parents.

She clasps my hand tightly and changes the subject, "So, how exactly did your family get money then?"

Kieron chokes on his drink. I shoot him a look.

"I told you old money." My parents break away from each other and fix their concerned stares on me. He whispers into her ear, probably telling her Emery has no clue of it's true origins.

Emery is oblivious and just laughs. "Yeah but how? Don't tell me you're royalty?"

"Our family made money in Italy through a small business and that was enough for my great great grandfather to move to America and expand it here." Not far off form the truth, except from the fact the small business was actually a d**g hustle.

"And you guys run the company now?" I shoot my sister a look that says play along with it. She's fuming, not wanting to lie to Emery as well but has no choice.

"Yes, I'm the first female CEO." I smile genuinely at that. My sister is making waves in the mafia world.

"Wow, that's great."

"Yeah, it keeps me busy. We've recently had to hire over forty new employees just so Aaron and I can make it back in time for dinner. s**t's crazy, but I love it."

"What does the company do?"

Aaron answers smoothly. "We deal with lots of stuff, mostly shipping exports and loans but we're aiming to expand out." The loans are real, only if you don't pay back, interest goes up and your knee caps are broken.

"How's the clinic?" Kiara and Emery make small chat with the rest of us occasionally adding in.

"So how did you two meet?"

Aaron snorts whilst Kiara chokes down some jelly. I grin, having no idea how my sister is going to explain that f****d up story.

"We met through my ex boyfriend, who was also Aaron's best friend. Then my ex dumped me so I had revenge s*x with Aaron, but then he came back two years later and we got together again, but I was also with Aaron too and realised he was the man I was in love with. s**t happened though and I ended up pregnant but didn't tell him and then he found out and...more s**t happened..."

"But then we decided to stop being idiots and got married. Right Princess?"

My sister struggled between glaring at her husband for interrupting her and kissing him. "Right, honey. Anyways we're all in love so it's fine."

Emery nods dazed and then turns to me. "I want to be her when I grow up."

"You knows she's a year younger than you." Kiara is 25 to Emery's 26.

Her eyes bug out of her head. "f**k. When did all that happen."

"Uh...I think she was 16 when they were first together. Then she got pregnant at 18, and they got married when she was like 21 or 22 I can't really remember."

"Wow. Your family is crazy." She breathes out, but then a beautiful magnificent smiles grows on her face. "But I love them."

I kiss her forehead, tucking her against my side. Emery is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I know there's no-one else. It's only her.

I just hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me when she finally finds out the truth.

________________________________

A/N: Kiara basically summed up Chained Lovers and Princess within her speech ?

Anyways thoughts on the chapter guys??

Who's your favourite Romano?? (Mine is deffo Aaron or maybe even Kieron)