Because I Want To

Chapter 4

Dragging myself out of bed the next morning seemed like a monumental task that should have been celebrated once I succeeded. After a hot, restless night, I felt drained and even more exhausted than when I had laid down. Every time I would close my eyes, I would find myself haunted by a set of blue eyes that wouldn't leave me alone. Whenever I would begin to relax, I could feel his lips on mine and the desire would blossom once again making it impossible to sleep.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and turned my thoughts to my employment situation. That is when the reality of what I had done hit me. I had actually quit my boring, but reliable job and began working for Bethany. I hadn't given my two-week notice as a normal person would have. No, I had just called my boss and told him that I would no longer be coming in. Although by the end of the conversation, I did not feel as bad. My boss barely knew who I was and had to actually ask me what department I worked in. I sighed into my cup, trying hard not to be too depressed about the lack of impression I had made at a job that I had been working at for a few years now.

It all did not matter now, I thought to myself as I rinsed out my cup. It was time to get ready for my new job, bad or good. The thought that I had finally done something impulsive made me feel… excited. Maybe this was something I needed to do all along.

As I hurried to get dressed, I continued to give myself a stern talking to. I was going to start trying new things and try harder to break out of this shell I had put myself into. That was a promise I made myself at that moment. I left the house quickly, not willing to admit to myself that despite my resolve I was very fearful of what was going to happen now.

I practically galloped into Bethany's office. Well, I guess it was my office now. I wasted no time beginning to rearrange and organize things the way they would suit me. I had just emptied the filing cabinet when I heard the door open. I looked up to find a very grumpy and disheveled Bethany standing there.

“What the hell are you doing here so freaking early?" Bethany growled.

I really was trying hard not to laugh at just how crabby she was. I had never seen Bethany as anything other than a happy-go-lucky kinda girl.

I couldn't help but poke fun at her. “Wow, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine in the morning?"

Bethany growled at me again and stormed out. Not long after that, the sounds of rustling coming from employees' lounge accompanied by a few curses and snarky remarks about morning people. I giggled a little enjoying picking on her since this was the first time that I had found something that I was better at than she was. Even if it was something as small as getting up early in the morning.

A few minutes later, Bethany came back in with two steaming cups in her hands. She set one in front of me then retreated to the other side of the room. It was as if she were afraid that if she stayed too close, I would ask her to help. I grabbed the cup thankfully and took a sip out of it. Then proceeded to spit it back out when I realized it wasn't coffee.

“Ugh! What the hell is this?"

Bethany gave me an insulted look. “It's green tea!"

Oh, God. I thought to myself as I put the cup down. This woman, with her health kick and her workout regimen, was going to kill me. Mental note, first thing after work, go buy coffee for work.

She mumbled something about a shower a few minutes later and left without any further comments. I heard the door to the women's locker room open and I realized that is where she was going to take her shower. It concerned me that she lived here without the proper appliances. I decided to make sure she had left herself enough out of her investments to live on. Knowing Bethany as I did this is a very possible concern.

Bethany came bouncing back in a little while later with a smile on her face. She came over and began looking over my shoulder at the papers I was quickly highlighting.

“Whatcha doing?" Bethany asked curiously.

“I am checking into your overall budget situation to find out how we can save you money," I explained, trying hard not to be annoyed by her hovering.

“Oh, no worries. My Uncle Larry was loaded, apparently. So, I have enough," she said with a bit of a laugh.

I just shook my head and continued with what I was doing.

“What's that?" Bethany asked again.

I slammed my hands on the desk. “Bethany, you do realize you are paying me to do this, right?"

She jumped and gave me a strange look. “I'm sorry, I was just curious."

I felt guilty immediately. Bethany was my best friend… hell she was my only friend, and I hadn't meant to jump on her.

“No, I'm sorry. I'm just a little off today," I said then gave her a bright smile.

Bethany answered back with her own bright smile. “No problemo. I'll get out of your hair and let you work." She stopped at the door and threw me a wink. “Partner."

As soon as she closed the door, I breathed out a sigh of relief. However, a few minutes later, music began to blare in through the closed door. With an irritated sound, I stormed out of the office to find the cause of my annoyance this morning.

What I found made my jaw hit the floor. Bethany was in a giant mirrored room that had several poles in it. When I caught sight of what she was doing, I looked away immediately.

Bethany was pole dancing. And she was really good at it.

Before I could beat a hasty retreat from the room and pretend that I had not seen anything she spotted me.

“Hey! You wanna join me?!" she shouted over the hard tempo of the erotic music she had been dancing to.

When I found the courage to look up, it was only to find her hanging upside down on the pole. Emphatically I shook my head and averted my wide-eyed gaze to the ground again. She started to laugh as I beat feet out the door. I wanted to get far away from the gyrating, pole-swinging friend of mine.

I shook my head as I went back behind my safe, predictable, sturdy desk. I was not interested in how she was doing it. That was definitely far from the “breaking out of my shell" plan that I had thought up. I was not going to go back out there and ask her to show me… nope, no way. My earlier promise came to mind… aww, hell.