Not In the NFL

Chapter 2-1

Chapter 2

The regular season was over. Since the Mustangs were a wildcard qualifier they played their first playoff game the week after the last game of the season. Brendan’s team, the Cyclones, had won their division. They had a bye week. If the Mustangs won their first playoff game they would play the Cyclones the following week in the Divisional Playoff game.

The Mustangs hadn’t done well that week after they had beaten the Cyclones. Everyone in the media and most of the players wrote it off to the let down that often came after a huge game like that. They had beaten the defending Super Bowl champs and qualified for the playoffs in doing so. “Natural to be let down,” the pundits said.

Adam thought differently. It was his fault. He had been distracted. What had happened with Brendan the night of the game had him reeling. The first thing he had done when he got home was to go to Brenda’s apartment and try to make love to her. It didn’t go well. Her kisses were too soft. While her t**s turned him on, they weren’t the firm muscular pecs he’d felt when he’d held Brendan in his arms, and when he finally got it up hard enough to penetrate her, it was only after imagining Brendan was the stud f*****g his girlfriend.

To top it all off, when Adam did c*m, he called out, “Bren, Bren!”

To which Brenda responded, “You never called me that before.”

By the end of the week Adam had come to the conclusion he could actually be gay. He admitted to himself he had regularly checked out the other players in the locker room, confessed that his s****l fantasies always involved a stud with a horse c**k f*****g a woman, never just a woman by herself or never him f*****g a woman. He realized his encounters with women always focused on his masculinity, not their femininity. Once the struggle to determine his s****l identity was apparently decided, Adam took up the worry of whether or not it was apparent to his teammates. All of this, he concluded, led to his poor preparation for the final game of the regular season and the team’s ultimate loss.

The next week was better. It had to be. It was the first playoff game. You lose, you go home, you’re done. He was able to concentrate more, studying film of the opponent’s defense and working on plays that would be effective against them. He had to struggle not to let his mind wander to Brendan. If they won this playoff game they would play his team the next weekend. He hadn’t heard directly from the man since the morning they’d spent together. But, he’d watched highlights from the Cyclones’ last game of the season and Brendan had been spectacular.

Adam was anxious to see Brendan again, to let him know where he was at ‘thinking about it,’ as Brendan had encouraged him to do that night at the party. But if Adam didn’t spend time preparing for the upcoming game, the game against Brendan’s team would never take place. So, he forced himself to study those tapes.