Selfless [Heartthrob Billionaires Series #4]

Chapter Four

GREEN

JARED

“What's up? You've been eyeing your phone for like... an hour now. Are you waiting for a call?”

Napunta ang atensyon ko kay Jade dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon. It was a Sunday morning and yes, I am here at their house. Bumisita ako dahil wala naman akong gagawin sa bahay ko kundi ang tumunganga. Might as well visit my best friend at ang inaanak ko.

I just shrugged at her question. I wasn’t entirely sure if I should be telling her what’s happening recently. Knowing she’s practically in the middle of my mess, I didn’t know if it was okay to tell her about it. But then she’s my best friend and we’re like family… I shouldn’t be hiding it from her right?

But then what’s there to tell? Aside from the few exchange of messages, there was really nothing to tell. Am I being a little too advanced with this whole set up? Am I overthinking this? Damn. I should probably just keep this to myself. Telling other people will only jinx it. Jinx it? Damn, Jared. So you really are looking forward to something?

I just shook my head to eliminate the thought.

"Yeah, something like that." I answered nonchalantly.

But she’s my best friend. She practically knows me my whole life. Sometimes I even think she knows me better than I know myself. She definitely knows when I’m trying to keep something from her. “Is it about work?”

“Yeah… There's this deal that I've been eyeing for quite some time now. I'm waiting for my secretary to tell me good news.” I said without batting an eyelash. I lied straight up and just wished that she wouldn’t see through me.

I guess she believed it cause she just nodded. Then as if remembering something, she gave me a hesitant look. “H- Have you heard the news?”

Kapag ganyan na ang reaksyon niya, alam ko na agad kung anong sasabihin niya. She only gets this nervous around me when it’s about Riri anyway. She still seems to think that I’m having a hard time dealing with our breakup. It’s been months though. If I let it continue affecting me, I’ll only make it harder for myself.

"Is it about Riri?” I asked, looking at her square in the eyes. She nodded. “What is it about her this time?”

I honestly didn’t want to talk about her any longer. But I realized that if I continue avoiding the topic about her, it will only seem like I am running away. Tila parang isinasantabi ko lang muna ang sakit kaya kapag binigla ako ng tungkol sa kanya, baka mas lalo lamang akong mahirapan. So I decided to just let Jade tell me things about her. I decided to let everyone torture me with news about her. Maybe if I listened, I will eventually grow immune to the pain. I can only get over the pain if I face it head on.

The sooner I get over her, the better. Ayoko na ring sa tuwing nagkikita kami ni Jade ay iyon na lang ang pag-uusapan namin. I also didn’t like that she’s always so careful around. Pakiramdam ko palagi siyang takot na makapagsabi ng anumang bagay na makasisira ng mood ko.

I don’t want her to continue worrying about me and Riri. I know she cares for the both of us. Kaya nga nahihirapan siya ngayon dahil naiipit siya sa pagitan namin. I know she wants to support Riri with her plans but she couldn’t fully do that dahil iniisip niya ang nararamdaman ko. I know that she somehow thinks supporting Riri would be like a betrayal to our friendship.

But we’re so much more than that… Just one girl would never be enough reason to ruin what we have. Our bond is stronger than that. I hope she remembers that.

"She's getting married by the end of this month."

It took me aback. But I managed to control my emotions and force out a smile. "Good for her."

Yeah. Good for her…

She must be thrilled with all these marriage plans. She should be… It was so easy for her to replace me with that man after all. Just two weeks after our breakup, she already got a fiancé. That can only mean one thing. She loved him that much. She didn’t even need to move on from me dahil may fall back agad...

Wait, what fall back? Who am I kidding? That wasn’t a damn fall back for her. She was intent on being with him. And she broke it off with me. So it’s not just a damn fall back or rebound. f**k. They were probably at it even before we called it off.

I mean, who gets a fiancé just two weeks after a break up? And now they’re getting married. Who’s f*****g kidding who?

"A- are you okay, Jared?" Jade asked carefully. I think my eyes showed what I was actually feeling and she saw that. Damn… Why the f**k do I feel so much every time? Why am I so easy to read? Why am I so easy to f*****g hurt? f**k. This really sucks.

I breathed out a sigh to calm my insides. Nararamdaman ko ang nagbabadyang galit sa aking sistema at hindi ko gustong makita iyon ni Jade. God, I never want her to see me this affected. When I finally got a hold of my tempter, I smiled at her again. “Yeah. I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You know… you don’t have to pretend in front of me, Jared…” She says softly. She held my hand and squeezed it. “You know I’m always here to listen… You can tell me everything… I’m your best friend…”

I squeezed her hand too. “I know. I didn’t forget.”

“So open up to me… You know I’m only waiting for you to tell me everything… You need to let it all out eventually…”

“I’m fine, Jade. Really… I’ve never been better.” I smiled at her reassuringly. She gave me a sad look. “But it did take me back a bit… The wedding and all…”

She sighed. “I can only imagine how you feel… Kung kami nga nabigla… pano ka pa kaya…”

“But I’m okay. If that makes her happy then I’m good… I can’t really do anything about it. We’re done, Jade… She broke up with me… What else can I do?”

Her eyes watered and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. “Oh, Jared…” She said before leaning towards me for a hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned her chin on my shoulder. I just did the same and wrapped my arms around her waist.

“I loved her… so it’s bound to hurt.” I admitted. “But it’s time to let go of that love now. I can’t continue holding on to her… I can’t continue holding on to our memories…”

We stayed for a while like that until we both felt lighter. Nang bumitiw siya sa akin ay tila mayroon siyang kung anong naiisip. Nasagot naman ang aking tanong nang magsalita siya. "Why don't you try dating someone?"

“What? Like a rebound?”

Her eyes widened. “Of course not!” She said, and then she seemed to realize that it still leads to the same thing. “I just mean, try dating again… try falling in love. If you find someone you like that likes you back the same then win-win for the both of you.”

“That’s clearly a rebound, Jade.” I told her.

“Hindi ah! Not if you are serious about it naman!” She denied. “It will only be a rebound if you’re not serious and will just date for fun.”

"That's just the same, Jade."

"Hindi nga! There's a difference!" Pagpupumilit niya. Her nostrils were flaring dahil lang sa hindi niya ako makumbinsi. I almost laughed at her reaction. "You’re dating to fall in love again. Rebound yon kapag you only date for the sake of having someone…”

It still sounds the same to me pero I won’t tell her. It will only frustrate her.

“It’s not that easy, Jade. Our hearts don’t have a switch that we can just turn off pag ayaw na natin and back on if we find someone new.” I explained to her. Napanguso naman siya. I know she understands what I’m trying to say. “And you know things like that can only worsen the situation. Forcing yourself to like someone can only cause a deeper scar. You know that, Jade. We all know that. Just look at Philip…”

Her jaw instantly fell at the mere mention of Philip’s name. I immediately realized my mistake but it was too late to take it back. It already slipped from my tongue and I can only try to soothe her pero I know it won’t work. The issue about Philip is still a sensitive topic kaya mahirap banggitin.

But I did just now. And I feel so bad for it. I didn’t mean to be so insensitive. I also didn’t say it to make her feel bad about it. Wala naman siyang kasalanan sa nangyari. She can never be held responsible for it. It was never her fault that Philip was in love with her and that he couldn’t move on from her. And that he tried to use someone to forget her…

Damn… I did warn him though. Matigas lang talaga ang ulo ng isang yon.

I refuse to be like that. I will not make the same mistake. I’ve already seen how it turned out, why would I still dare and do it?

I sighed and looked at Jade apologetically. Sinubukan kong abutin ang kanyang braso but she only stood up to move away from me. Lumapit siya sa crib ni Riley at malungkot na tinanaw ang kanyang anak. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that…”

“No, it’s okay… You’re right naman…” She looked up at me again and forced a smile. “Clearly, I wasn’t thinking when I suggested it. Sorry. Just forget I suggested that.”

"Jade…" I wanted to punch myself for making her upset. Agad akong tumayo mula sa sofa upang lapitan siya. Inabot ko kamay niya at hinawakan ng mahigpit iyon. “Don’t sulk now… Please? I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you by bringing Philip in this conversation. I wasn’t thinking when I mentioned it.”

Hindi siya sumagot kaya hinigit ko na siya at saka niyakap ng mahigpit na mahigpit. I rested my chin on the top of her head. “I know you're worried about me… and I know you’re thinking na baka magaya nga ako kay Philip but I assure you, I won’t. We’re friends but we’re different. We have different ways of coping with heartache. You don’t have to worry about me. A damn heartbreak won’t break me. She can never break me.”

Isang buntong hininga lamang ang pinakawalan ni Jade bago tumango at yumakap na rin sa akin.

“I don’t get it…” Sabay kaming napalingon ni Jade nang marinig namin ang pagsasalita ni River. When we turned to him, his arms were folded on his chest and he looked slightly annoyed as he watched us. I know what he’s so upset about. He didn’t like the fact that I was hugging his wife… who just happens to be my best friend. This guy is so possessive. “I still can’t help but feel annoyed when you two are being so intimate. Babe…”

Jade sighed before pulling away from me. Napailing na lamang siya nang balingan akong muli. “Don’t mind him. Kanina pang tinotopak yan. Masama ang gising. Puyat yan tapos wala ako kanina nang magising siya.”

“TMI, patid.” I grinned at her.

Her eyes widened at me at bigla na lamang ako binatukan. “Gagi! Puyat sa trabaho! Ang green mo!”

I just chuckled before tapping her head. She scrunched her nose at me. Nabalik lamang ang atensyon namin kay River nang tumikhim ito. He looked extra annoyed when we turned to him. “Babe, come here, will you? I’m getting jealous now.”

"Baliw." Narinig kong bulong ni Jade pero kitang-kita naman ang pagpipigil ng ngiti. Agad na rin niyang nilapitan ang naghihintay na asawa at sinalubong ito ng isang mahigpit na yakap. “Napakaseloso… Hindi naman dapat. That’s Jared, love. Ilang beses pa kong mage- explain?”

“You don’t have to… I’m just jealous.” Sagot naman ni River habang gumaganti ng yakap kay Jade. Napangiti na lamang ako at saka nag-iwas ng tingin. Itinuon ko ang atensyon sa natutulog nilang anak na nasa crib. “Just give me a kiss to ease this jealousy I am feeling.”

“Riv, not now. Andyan kaya si--”

I can only imagine what the two are doing now. I didn’t have to look para malaman iyon. That should be my cue. Tutal maghapon naman na ako rito. I should probably go home now.

“I’ll get going now.” Sabi ko nang makitang tapos na sila sa kanilang paghahalikan.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Si River ang nag- offer niya. Agad na napangiti si Jade sa naging imbitasyon ng kanyang asawa sa akin. She looked so pleased that her husband was being nice. Well, the two of us are cool now. Naging kaibigan ko na rin ito simula nang tanggapin ko ang relasyon nila.

May mga pagkakataon lang talagang tinotopak si River at nagseselos sa amin ni Jade but it’s very trivial para pagsimulan ng away. He also knows naman what Jade and I really are. He understands that kaya nga malaya akong nakakabisita rito kahit wala siya.

“Hindi na. May lakad ako ngayon so I can’t stay.” I said.

Agad na bumakas ang pagtataka sa mukha ni Jade pero bago pa siya makapagsalita ay naunahan na siya ni River. “Now, don’t ask him about it, love. A man has his personal affairs too.”

Tinawanan ko lamang ang sinabing iyon ni River. He saved me there. Wala naman talaga akong lakad pero I just didn’t feel like staying.

“So you have ‘personal affairs’ that you don’t tell me? Huh?”

Uh oh.

Bago pa ako madamay sa namumuong pagtatalo nila ay nagpaalam na ako. Mahirap nang madamay. Mamaya ako pa ang mapag-initan. Nakangising napapailing na lamang ako habang papasakay sa aking sasakyan. When I started the engine, saka ko lang na-realize, I have nowhere else to go.

I didn’t know what got to me when I typed in the text and sent it.

Hey. What are you doing?

It didn’t take too long for her to reply.

Just some stuff. J

Hmm… I typed in another text.

Can you spare me a bit of your time?

She was quick to reply again. I like it.

Is it for the dinner you mentioned the other night?

Nope. Let’s save that for some other time.

Hmm… Okay. Sure.

I bit my lip when I suddenly felt the urge to smile. She agreed. I’m going to see her again.

Should I pick you up or should we just meet?

I asked just in case she prefers to meet up instead. And as expected, iyon nga ang gusto niya.

Let’s meet na lang. Where are we going ba?

Let’s have dinner. Do you have anything you’d like to eat?

I grinned to myself after sending the message. Siguradong magtataka siya sa sinabi ko. I just said that we’ll have that dinner some other time pero here I was saying we’ll have dinner tonight.

Thought we'll go out for dinner some other time?

Yeah. But I also like to take you out on a dinner tonight. My invitation now is different from the one we agreed on.

It took a little longer for her to reply this time. I felt a little nervous thinking she suddenly changed her mind. But I was instantly relieved when I received another reply. Pero agad naman akong nagtaka nang mabasa ang mensahe niya.

What are you wearing right now?

I was about to reply to her with something naughty just to tease her but decided against it. Baka magbago pa ang isip kapag inasar ko.

Jeans and shirt. Why?

That’s good. Let’s go for korean barbeque. ;)

So that’s why… Natawa na lamang ako sa aking sarili dahil sa naisip. Damn… Jade’s right. Nilulumot na ang utak ko. Is this what happens kapag ilang buwan nang tigang? Napailing na lamang ako. Enough now, Jared.

You got me nervous for a while there.

Huh? Why?

I was wondering why you were asking what I was wearing all of a sudden. You don’t ask a healthy man a question like that, Julie.

It took a little while again before she replied to me. I could see that she read my message though. She was probably thinking of what to say.

That was an innocent question FYI :P

I know, I know… :D Now, where should we meet?

Let’s meet at the coffee shop. There are plenty of korean restaurants near that area.

Okay. See you, Julie. ;)