Finding Solace

Chapter 13

Callum

I never knew being in love could feel so damn painful. Jillian's rejection stung worse than anything I had ever felt before. Especially after I found myself hoping when she also displayed an interest in me. I had finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to her, but she cut me off to outright deal me a killing blow. Was it all my imagination after all? I thought about all the blissful moments she offered me since yesterday. The more I remembered, the worse the pain got until I decided to block all thoughts of her.

Our first class was self-study so I just wordlessly entered the classroom, not looking at anyone as I went to my seat. My friends ceased their conversation, staring at me cautiously.

"What happened?" Henry asked.

"Nothing." I replied, sighing wearily.

"Callum, I'm really sorry about before." Jake rushed to say. "Were you able to clear the misunderstanding with Jillian?"

I darted a glance at him. "Yeah, kinda."

"Then why are you still sulky?" Henry demanded.

"She asked me to stop interacting with her from now."

"For real?" Jake asked incredulously. "Why would she say such a thing?"

"I don't know. Maybe because of her brother. He almost caught us together in the infirmary."

"Then that's a good sign, isn't it?" Blake interjected. "She's worried about you, that's all. Didn't you tell her that you don't care whatever the guy does?"

"I did. But then she told me that it's too much of a hassle for her."

Henry grimaced. "Ouch."

"I know, right." I drawled. "Anyway, She's not interested in me. I was getting ahead of myself over nothing."

"That's impossible!" Jake refuted. "Just before when she was teasing me about Marissa, I retaliated by teasing her about you. And she grew all flustered. There's no way she doesn't feel anything for you."

"She must have deliberately said these words to drive you away because she didn't want you to get hurt." Blake commented. "That Daniel is famous for being ruthless, after all. She would have a first-hand knowledge of this."

Their words made me think back to the moment when she told me to stay away from her. The way she kept perusing my face… I didn't think of it then, but I now realized that she must have been looking at my bruises. She probably felt responsible for them. So that's why she thought she had to step back. I then remembered our intimate moment in that cupboard. Her attraction for me was plain across her face. She was even about to let me kiss her. Yet I let myself get discouraged so easily and couldn't even understand her concern.

"Why were you guys in the infirmary anyway?" Jake asked. His eyes then brightened. "By the way did you see Marissa there? How is she doing?"

It was then that I finally realized my original purpose. I didn't even treat Jillian's wound and left her there all alone.

"I'll be right back." I murmured in a thick voice as I rose from my seat. I then dashed to the infirmary, internally beating myself for having been so thoughtless.

Jillian was nowhere in sight in the infirmary and she didn't appear again for the rest of the day. I lumbered my way to the chemistry lab and as expected, she wasn't there either. Figures that she'd negotiate her way out of this hassle now that she no longer wanted to be with me. 

"Where's that girl?" Miss Fowler demanded as soon as she saw me.

"She's not feeling well today. I'll do her share of work, so can you please let her off?"

Her face scrunched in disgust. "As expected, she would use her wiles to take advantage of others. And you're willing to sacrifice yourself for someone like that?"

"It's not what you think." I hastily replied. "She really isn't feeling well today."

"Don't make me laugh! It's obviously just an excuse to skip her work. If she thinks I'll let her get away with this, then she's sorely mistaken." She was about to walk away, but then Jillian appeared at the end of the corridor.

"We'll look who's here." Miss Fowler. "Heard that you're not feeling well. But you seem just fine to me."

I was starting to get annoyed with this woman. "She really sprained her wrist. How is she supposed to clean that storeroom in her condition?"

She snorted. "Only a sprain? So what? She still can use her other limbs, right?"

Jillian stopped a few feet from us, glaring at the teacher. "I'll do my part of the work, miss. Rest assured."

"You'd better." Glancing at her watch, she added. "I don't have time to waste with you brats, so get moving now."

Jillian

Even though I decided to go back to avoiding Callum, it would prove difficult to accomplish since I still needed to clean the chemistry lab together with him. I felt awkward facing him again after everything that happened between us. Should I ignore him or pretend like nothing happened? Then again, he probably wouldn't want to even talk to me now.

"Is your wrist better?" Callum asked me cautiously.

I looked at him in slight astonishment. "It's much better, thanks." I murmured.

He gave my hand a disapproving look. "You should have it bandaged."

"There's no need. I don't like wearing bandages." They only served to pinpoint your injuries, after all. 

"It's not about liking it or not, Jillian." He said patronizingly. "Your health takes priority over everything."

I glared at him. "I'm not a little kid, Callum."

"Then stop behaving like one." He retorted back.

My mouth opened in outrage. "You…" I started saying but he didn't pay me any mind, merely moving forward to grab my elbow and dragging me down the hallway.

So he chose to act like nothing happened and behave like his usual self. I narrowed my eyes. No, if anything he was being more forceful. And I didn't seem to mind that. 

I stared transfixed at Callum's focused expression as he applied my ointment with utmost care. It almost seemed like he was hurting as well. My heart was bursting with emotions. It was the first time someone showed such care for my wounds. My mother hardly even notices me and Dan prefers to avoid looking at them, probably because of his guilt. So I had to learn how to look after myself from a young age. Not that I minded. I'd much rather be left alone to tend to my wounds than having someone pity me. Yet, right now, seeing Callum's concern for me felt so comforting. My eyes strayed to his lips and I blushed as I remembered how we almost kissed earlier. I wanted it then… even now I still did. I've never kissed a guy and until now I thought I didn't feel desire for such things. 

Just then, Callum's eyes lifted to mine and I instantly looked away. This is so embarrassing! He caught me openly ogling him while thinking about kissing him.

"Jillian." He murmured so close to my ear, I couldn't help the shiver which coursed through me.

"What?" I grumbled, keeping my gaze turned away.

"Look at me?" His hot breath fanned over my neck with those whispered words and I had to close my eyes against the sensations.

"Jillian…" he drawled.

"What is it?" I demanded, turning to look at him impatiently.

His lips hiked in a wicked grin and I glared at him. This guy was doing it on purpose! 

"Regardless of what you say, I won't stop interacting with you." He said, his expression turning solemn, as if he was making a vow.

"I can see that." I mumbled. Callum is unexpectedly quite forceful. And I think I like being led around by him.

"We should get going now." I added. "Else Miss Fowler will be getting on my case again."

As we walked towards the chemistry lab, several raised voices drew our attention. 

"What the heck is your problem!" I heard Dan hollering. "Do you have a death wish?"

"I'm not the type to let someone walk all over me without retaliating! You used me then dumped me as you pleased. Don't expect me to let you get away with this!" I recognized the high-pitched female voice who screeched the words as Miss Fowler's, but there has to be a mistake, right? I mean, I know Dan has a habit of sleeping around. But with his own teacher? 

I discreetly approached the window where their voices came from. Dan and Miss Fowler were standing in a secluded spot in the courtyard, engaged in a staring contest.

"It was boring enough to f**k you once," Dan said, giving her a disdainful look. "What makes you think I'd want to do you again?"

Miss Fowler appeared to be shaking with anger. "Then why did you even sleep with me to begin with."

"Because you were practically begging for it." Dan sneered. "And I just happened to want to scratch an itch."

He glared down at her. "I'm done with all this s**t now. Stop being so f*****g clingy and get the hell out of my sight."

"We now know why miss Fowler hates you so much." Callum murmured from beside me. 

I felt startled when I realized how close he was. "Yeah, I guess." I mumbled.

I now remembered why Miss Fowler's voice seemed familiar when I first heard her. She was the same woman I heard making out with Dan on the first day of school.

“We should get going.” I murmured, resuming my trek towards the chemistry lab. 

“You’re not going to do anything about it?” Callum asked.

"What do you mean?"

"She's been getting involved with a student. You could use this knowledge to threaten her so she'd stop bothering."

I eyed him skeptically. "Shouldn't you be worried if I did this?"

"Why would I?" He exclaimed.

"You also seemed quite close to her yesterday." I couldn't help my ire from spiking when I remembered the position in which I found them.

"What you saw yesterday was just a misunderstanding."

"Is that so..." I mumbled, keeping my gaze trained away. For some reason I didn't feel like looking at him.

He suddenly stepped forward, blocking my path. "I swear there's nothing going on between me and that teacher. I'm not in the least interested in her."

I turned my gaze away. "You're free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. Why are you explaining all this to me?" 

He remained silent for several seconds after that where I carefully avoided looking at him. I could tell that my words hurt him but I didn't bother taking them back. Even if we maintain our relationship, I needed to make it clear that we will only ever be friends. I allowed things to go too far in the infirmary earlier and needed to put a stop to it all. 

Eventually he sighed wearily. "Let's get moving. There's much that remains to be done in that storeroom."

Callum insisted on doing all the work while I just sat back, trying to be of use by sorting through some papers. I tried but failed to keep from staring at the way his muscles flexed as he moved heavy objects around the room. And he seemed to have noticed it all.

"It's gotten pretty late." I remarked, staring at the darkening sky warily. I then dragged my gaze across the storeroom. Despite all our efforts, there hasn't been much change. It was still that cramped and dirty little room which bore a scary resemblance to the basement where my father usually locked me up. It was a wonder I had even managed to remain inside it for that long. Some nagging thought told me it was because Callum was with me but I chose to not pay it any mind.

I turned back towards the door, then stopped short when I saw that it was closed. Strange… we made sure to leave it open. Could it have been the wind? I stirred the doorknob, but the door didn't budge. I darted my horrified eyes around the spot and started hyperventilating when I couldn't find the key. It was just like my worst nightmare. All the horrible memories from when I was locked in a dark room filled with flesh-eating rodents came rushing back to me. I was helplessly swept up by the torturous thoughts until all my limbs became paralyzed with fear and an agonized screech was ripped from my throat.