Guardian Evil

CHAPTER 30.6: You don’t have to blame yourself

He remembered. He remembered how awful it was.

“Luciel? Hey, Luciel?”

Luciel grunted and slowly opened his eyes. He slightly squinted just to adjust his vision and saw Romina looking at her.

For someone who is actually a demon, this is rare that he fell asleep. He once slept after that incident, centuries ago...

“Did you seriously ditch class just to sleep?” Romina asked, frowning at him. “I thought demons don’t sleep?”

Luciel sat up and stared at Romina who just observed his face. “Romina...”

“Hmm?”

“Do you blame yourself or do you blame someone if something misfortune or something tragic happened in your life?”

That made Romina pause for a couple of seconds. Luciel looked at her and sighed then he looked away. "Nevermind that--"

She spoke. “To be honest, humans sometimes do that. They either blame themselves or blame some because they couldn’t accept that it happened and they thought that we could prevent it if we did something and if we fail, the blame was either put on other people or even on myself. Sometimes, it’s also become a defense mechanism which is not really that good and yeah, I will not going to lie, I sometimes blame other people or myself.”

“Do you blame yourself, Luciel?”

“So you did, huh?”

“But you know what? I realized and learned something about it,” Luciel looked at Romina once again as she spoke. “That not all the time you’re going to blame your misfortunes to someone or even yourself. Everything happens for a reason. We may not be able to bring that back or change those up, but we should do something not to repeat the same mistakes again in the future. You don’t have to blame yourself. Instead of doing so, take it as an act of courage for your future. Don’t let yourself get drowned with blames and guilt and made yourself get stuck in the past. Instead, take it as an act of courage to correct mistakes or even make your future bright.”

“Do you blame yourself, Luciel?”

Luciel smiled as he gently cupped Romina’s face as the latter blinked her eyes before she grinned.

"I felt like I was trying to comfort you on this one," she said. "But I really hope I made you feel better."

Using his thumb, he gently caressed Romina's cheek. He didn't say anything but Romina understood him.

Silence is enough. They definitely understood each other.

“Yes... it’s all my fault... my entire fault. But I will not make the same mistake again.”