Anhedonia

I'm Proud Of You

"I felt so awful. I deserved it if ever he gets mad at me "

"Well, we all are awful people. But we're just doing all of this for him." Liam kissed his wife's forehead and rubbed her back soothingly.

They were already in the reception, the wedding ceremony had ended and all the guests congratulated the newlyweds. It's hard for Jerry's friends to see him holding back his tears the whole ceremony while watching the woman she loved saying her vow to his cousin.

It's hard but Jerry needs that, because if he doesn't find the reason to stop what he was doing, he'll just stay in the prison of Rosie's memories. He needed to feel the pain even if it cost him gallons of tears, he needed to witness the most crucial scene so he would have reason to move on and finally let go.

They want the old Jerry back, and not the one who became the prisoner of his past. Who can't even smile, laugh, or show any emotions. The night after Seul-ki successfully convinced him to go out of his office, that's the last time they saw Jerry smile. And if they won't do anything about it, they will lose Jerry like how they lose Liam before.

"He's coming." Seul-ki announced and they all pretend that they are not worried at all because Jerry doesn't want them to look at him with sympathy.

"Hey, so I needed to go first." Jerry put his hands on top of Hayley's shoulders. "I think it's enough to see them in that church, I needed to save myself from another unbearable pain, I'm not going to send them off as they will head to their honeymoon."

"Jerry—."

"I understand what you're trying to do and honestly speaking, I am so f*****g mad. But I know, you guys are just helping me so I will let this slide for now." Jerry said and smiled at each one of them. "Thank you so much for everything."

"So you're really leaving?" Liam asked, he's not looking at the guy but to his daughter, who was busy playing with her toy.

"Yeah, we've already talked about this, right?"

"As in right now? I mean, you're going out of the country tonight?" Hayley looked up to her best friend as Jerry looked down to her.

"Yes baby, I'm leaving tonight and I promise to be back at Akisha's birthday."

"Where are you going?" Finally, the kid's attention was caught upon hearing Jerry.

They all looked at the kid, then Jerry walked towards Akisha and bent over to level her. "I'm going home."

"Oh okay." Akisha shrugged her shoulders, not thinking about Jerry's leaving a big deal because she thinks that Jerry will just go home to his house.

"Honey, listen to me." Jerry cupped the kid's face so their eyes could meet. "I want you to always listen to your Daddy and Mommy, okay? Don't be a stubborn kid because Santa Claus hates naughty kids."

"Santa ain't true. I saw Daddy last year sneaking into my room to put my gift."

They all looked at Liam in what the f**k look but the guy just smiled at them sheepishly.

"Daddy is really a dumbass." Jerry chuckled. "But still, you need to be a good kid, never disobey your parents and always remember that I love you, okay?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No, well kind of but not wasted."

"Then go home because you still need to pick me up at school so you should go home and rest." The kid said, completely unaware of what's going on. Jerry just chuckled dryly with that and nodded his head.

"Okay then, I'm going home. Now give me the sweetest kiss you got and I need a super hug." The kid obliged at Jerry's request. Akisha cupped his face with her little hands and kissed him on the lips before pulling him into a tight hug.

Jerry quickly wiped his tears and kissed the kid's forehead one last time before he stood up. They all stand and give him a goodbye hug with a lot of advice after. Then Jerry looked at Liam, who's not even moving on his seat.

"I'm leaving, dickhead."

"Yeah, take care." Liam said coldly, looking away from him and into the crowd on the dance floor.

"Go on, hug him." Hayley instructed. Although she's the best friend, she knows that her husband grew fond of Jerry's presence and even if Liam doesn't want it show how sad he is about Jerry's leaving, his actions telling them otherwise.

"What a kid." Jerry laughed as he turned to face the younger guy. "Come here and give me a hug before I whoop your ass."

"Nah, that's only for those who are going to be sad when you leave."

"You're referring to yourself, dumbass."

"I'm not, just go."

"If you didn't stand up there, I'm really going to kick your ass!" Jerry threatened but Liam didn't even bat an eyelash and he stood on his ground. "Fine, if that's what you want—."

"Come here, you little bean!" Liam suddenly stood up from his seat and pulled Jerry into the tightest hug he could muster and started to cry.

"A kid, literally a kid." Jerry mumbled but hugged Liam back so tight. His eyes met his favourite pair of almond eyes, looking on their way while she's sitting at the mini stage next to her husband. Jerry smiled at her sadly and it was too hard for him to look away but he needed to. "Take care of your wife, if I find out that you made her cry, I will haunt you and break your 206 bones."

"That's not gonna happen, you know that." Liam laughed while wiping his tears. "Please take care of yourself , Jerry. And please come back, I don't care if you will take a lot of years to heal yourself but promise me that you'll return."

"I promise." Jerry ruffled Liam's hair in a brotherly manner before tapping his shoulder. "Tell her to be happy."

Liam nodded his head then everyone made another group hug for the last time. It was so hard for them to let go of one of their friends but they have to. If it's the only choice to let Jerry heal himself, then be it. Moving far away is one of the best choices to move on, though it didn't work on Rosie, but who knows if it'll work on Jerry.

Hannah smiled at everyone after their hugs and long goodbyes to Jerry. They both leave the place with one last waved at everyone and one last glance at the woman still looking at their way. Jerry lifted his arm in the air, as if he's waving at Rosie with a wide smile on his lips.

"Are you okay?" Hannah asked as they both sit inside her car. Jerry shakes his head as he let his tears finally escape from his eyes.

"It f-f*****g h-hurts!" Jerry clenched his chest as he could feel his heart in excruciating pain, he broke down and cried his heart's out, screaming and crying hysterically while Hannah just watched him because that's the only thing she could do.

Hannah waited for Jerry to calm down a bit before she drove him away from the place and brought him to a peaceful spot. She parked the car near the barricades wherein they could see the city lights. It was so beautiful to see but since Jerry is still crying, only Hannah could admire the view.

They stayed for more than 2 hours but Jerry already stopped from crying an hour ago, they are just both watching the beautiful city lights ahead of them. No words needed to be said, the silence was more comforting than any soothing words.

"She's so beautiful." Jerry finally speaks, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Yeah, she's a goddess indeed."

"I hope that she will be happy."

"Not gonna lie, but it will take years before she will find the happiness of marrying Jayvee." Hannah said. At the church, she saw how Rosie looked at Jerry like he's her world, like he's the only person she could see inside the church, she also could see how much Rosie loves Jerry and it made her confused why she still married Jayvee even if she's still madly in love with the other guy. There are lot of things she didn't know about their situation and she doesn't want to dwell because she has own pain to deal with. Seeing Jerry hurting so much is too much pain to see.

"She will be happy, I know." Jerry cracked a smile and he turned to Hannah, his puffy eyes made Hannah's heart clench. "So I need to be happy too."

"As you should, your friends took the risk of their relationship with you so you could help yourself to move on."

"That was the most ridiculous idea but it helps me to realise things while staring at her the whole ceremony."

"Like?"

"Like, I'm the luckiest man on the earth because I experienced a lot of things in our relationship and I've learned a lot from her that I will surely bring with me for the rest of my life."

Hannah could only smile at him, patting his head like he's a kid who realized his mistake and learned from it.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thank you." Jerry smiled and he looked back ahead of them. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"You already did, but shoot." Hannah giggled.

"Do you want to go with me to New Zealand?"

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