Anhedonia

I felt so betrayed

Jerry is in too much intoxication, slurring his words out of his mouth but neither Liam or Seul-ki could understand him. They were just listening to their friends for almost half a day now but Jerry just kept repeating his words of the day.

"They betrayed me."

"Your cousin did, but Rosie didn't." Liam said and as well as Jerry, he kept repeating his words to defend his best friend, while Seul-ki just watched them get drunk and keep updating his wife to their situation. He didn't want to get drunk because he knows that he's the one who will drive to bring the drunkards home.

The bartender approached the front of the bar counter to announce the last call. Jerry seems didn't mind it because he became deaf, while Liam raised his hand to have another set of shots and giggled. When the bartender look on their way, Seul-ki immediately signalled the bartender to ignore Liam by cutting his throat with his hand, shaking his head. The man nodded in response and accommodate another customers.

"We need to go home, my wife needs me." Seul-ki said but the two younger guy ignores him. "Guys, c'mon."

"Why don't you go home first, Seul-ki? I know your wife is worried about you." Jerry said seriously, there was no sign that he was drunk in the way he spoke.

"Yeah, as well as your partners." Seul-ki said but immediately faced-palmed himself when Jerry's face darkened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—."

"You know what? You're right, so you better bring this asshole with you."

"I'm not going home without you, Jerry. Don't you dare to push me away."

"What? I'm not even drunk—."

"Yeah? Says the one who peed on his pants!" Seul-ki scowled as he stood up, getting the attention of the woman next to him.

"I didn't peed on my pants, this stupid spilled his drink on me!" Jerry defense himself and glare at the older guy. "Don't get me wrong, lady." He then said to the woman.

"It's fine, but why don't you listen to your friend? You and that handsome over there are both drunk and your wives must be worried."

"Well, sorry to hear that, but I'm single and they're not."

"Oh, what a waste, you're such a fine man."

"Then let us not waste my finest." Jerry said as he stood up from the high stool. Seul-ki grab his arm just before he could take a step toward the woman. "What?"

"Please Jerry, don't do this. Not because you're broken, you'll stoop down to that level." Seul-ki whispered hardly and only audible for Jerry, afraid that the woman might hear him and gets offended.

"Shut the f**k up and leave me alone, if I want to have s*x with someone, let me be."

"Rosie might—."

"Rosie what? Isn't she getting married? What does she care about what I want to do? Wherein in the first place, she first f**k my cousin—." Jerry suddenly dropped on the floor, the music stopped and everyone looked on their spot, holding his left jaw, Jerry's gaze darted up to see who punched him.

"Take back everything you said." Liam growled at him, clenching his fist tightly. "She never f****d anyone! Rosie isn't like that!"

"What do you know huh?! Did she tell you everything when she was hiding while flirting with my cousin?!"

"May I remind you? You were the first to ditched her on your wedding day! How dare you to insult her like that wherein you are really the asshole here?!"

"Guys, that's enough." Seul-ki butted in when Jerry stood up and was about to charge to Liam. He stood firmly in between and hold both of his friend's collar. "If you guys want to fight, do it outside, not here! Don't embarrass me, this is my friend's place!"

"Let's take it outside." Jerry said as he gulp another shot and looked at the terrified woman. "Wait for me, I'll be back."

"No, you're not going back!" Seul-ki shouted and he dragged the two outside of the bar after he left bills on the bar counter to pay for their drink.

When the three of them got out, which thankfully they did voluntarily or else the bouncers will throw them out. They stood outside without saying any word. Just watching the night life in the middle of busy Hong-dae street. Jerry fishes out a packet of cigarette from his pocket and put one stick in between of his chapped lips, he flicked the lighter on and lit up his tobacco.

He heave a deep one and exhales, letting the thick smoke to dance in the air and dissipate along with the breezy wind of mid September, winter is coming, they could tell, by every blew of the wind that make them feel the cold through the thick of their coats.

"I think you should go home without me." Jerry break the thick tension between the three of them.

"I told you, I'm not going home without you." Seul-ki said calmly.

"You would and bring Liam with you, I'll be fine. I will just enjoy the night for a while." Jerry emit another smoke in the air, it danced before it vanished.

"Jerry.."

"I admit, I'm not fine, but after that strong blow, I could finally say that I am already sober, thanks to that asshole." Jerry pointed at Liam, who seems already sleeping while leaning his back on Jerry's car. "I'll be fine, don't worry." He said to assure the older guy.

Seul-ki stared at him for about 1 minute before he let out a sigh of defeat. His shoulder slumped down before he nod his head.

"Better give me a call if you want me to fetch you up." He then said and held out his hand for the key.

Jerry smiled at him before he fishes out the keys from his pocket and gave it to his friend. "Make sure that he'll be on his bed." He said, referring to sleeping Liam.

"I will." Seul-ki replied. Jerry tapped his shoulder before he went back inside and look for the woman earlier, he's not up for a s*x, he just want someone to talk to since he couldn't open up totally to his friends, especially at Liam, the younger guy is his ex girlfriend's best friend.

When Jerry had a glimpse of the woman, who's still sitting in front of the bar counter while talking to the bartender, Jerry made his wat to her and sat on the next stool.

"Sorry about that." Jerry said without even looking at the woman as he asked one last glass of whiskey.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I already called the last shot earlier." The bartender said politely.

"I know a place where you could drink till sunrise." The woman said as she hopped off from the stool. "Wanna join me? I think I'm into it."

"Much better." Jerry said smiling and they both decided to go out of the bar.

The woman laugh at Jerry's shyness when the latter said that he has no wheels since his friends drove home with his car.

"No worries, I got my own ride." She said, wiggling her keys in the air. "But you'll drive." She pointed at the red Tesla X in front of them and then throw the keys at Jerry who catches it immediately and smiled.

"Nice ride." Jerry said as he open the door and wait for the woman to get inside before he closes it carefully and made his way to other side of the car. When he finished buckling his seatbelt, he releases a sigh and turn to the woman.

"Where to?" He asked.

"To my place." The woman said and Jerry shrug his shoulder before he turned on the engine and pressed the shift gear button to pull out from the parking lot. They're roving the road in comfortable silence, as if they already knew each other for so long. The woman will just break the silence if she needs to tell Jerry the direction, then after, they will fell in silence again, until they reached their destination. A twin tower located in the middle of Myeong-do.

"You lived alone?" Jerry asked after the woman open the door of her unit for them when they lifted off the elevator. He roamed his eyes around and see nothing special, there were couches and mini bar in living room, one stair leading to which he assumed, the woman's room.

"Yeah, been like this for five years now after my boyfriend dumped me for someone else."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but we've all been there."

"I know, your eyes screams pain." The woman chuckled as she throw her purse on the sofa and walked towards the mini bar. "Hard or—."

"Hard." Jerry interrupt. "Unless you want me to be gentle."

"Do as you please, I have guest room here, but we're not gonna have sex." The woman said which made Jerry felt embarrassed to assumed too early. "I invited you here because I want to help you."

"Well, what kind of help do you offer?" Jerry asked playfully to hide his flustered face.

"Let's say.." The woman trailed off her words as she turn around, holding two glass of whiskey and she smiled. "—that I'll be your stranger friend for tonight."

"Not bad." Jerry said, shrugging his shoulder.

The woman gave him the glass and walk towards the stairs to go to the second floor of her condo unit, Jerry follow on her heels without asking. She then turned to the corner and open a sliding door, leading to a wide balcony, it has two hammocks, one round table and two single couch near the fence. The woman sat on the other one and she tapped the empty couch next to her. Jerry smiled before he obliged.

"Now tell me, who's that handsome guy that punched you earlier?" The woman started.

"He's married to my best friend." Jerry said without intention to embarrass the woman. They both laughed and sipped on their drink.

"Why did he punch you?" The woman asked again.

"Because I insulted his best friend."

"Let me guess, she's the one who caused you pain?"

"No, I am the one who caused her pain. I'm the asshole here and Liam was right." Jerry sighs loudly as he leaned his back and watch the overcast skies filled with twinkling stars and the wan moon lighting up their spot. "I ditched her on our wedding day."

"There must be a reason." The woman said, not wanting to jump into conclusion.

"I have this disorder where I suddenly lose interest at everything and it happen to attack at the day of our wedding."

"Have you tell her?"

"I did, but it was too late."

"How late?" The curiousity grew up in the woman as Jerry kept telling her everything.

"She's getting married by the end of the month—." Jerry sipped another round in his glass to cover the crack in his voice. "...with my cousin."

"Oh." The woman all could say. She sympathize Jerry but she couldn't blame the girl as well. "If that's the case, what makes you think that drowning yourself in alcohol will help you?"

"I felt so betrayed."

"Betrayed in a way of what?"

"I went to my cousin last month and asked him to help me to find my girl, he told me that he couldn't because he's busy to his tour." Jerry tried to choke back the tears by gulping so thickly that he didn't notice the woman froze for a moment after she heard Jerry's story. "Then this morning, my cousin arrived with my girl."

"I'm so sorry to hear that, but if it's ok, may I asked your cousin's name?"

"Jayvee, Jayvee Kim." Jerry replied without hesitation, he's busy gripping the glass tightly and glaring into nothingness, meanwhile the woman's mouth fell open in stunned surprised. They both fell in silence, but different emotions playing around their hearts, the woman felt the unending pain, while Jerry has mixed emotions that he always had since he lost Rosie. "He's such an asshole, he stole my girl."

"Practically, he didn't steal your girl." The woman said, air quoting her whole sentence. She seems got occupied earlier with the thoughts inside of her, but Jerry caught her attention when he sobbed. "You ditched her, which means you two got broke up without closure, so he didn't steal your girl , but from what you've said when you asked for help, yes, that was totally a betrayal."

"See? So now tell me, how am I supposed to accept their relationship?"

"Do they need your permission in the first place?" The woman asked and Jerry got taken aback to that question. "You already lost her when you ditched her, now you don't have to feel upset if she's already with someone, it's just that, you have to deal with Jayvee, there are two options." She paused as she took a sip on her glass and gulped the whiskey hardly. Jerry looked at her this time, waiting for whatever she's going to say. "First, you have to turn your back to them because you felt betrayed and carry that heavy feelings for the rest of your life, second—."

"Accept them and be on their wedding day?" Jerry cut her off.

"Yeah, as simple as that. But at the end of the day, it's your decision to make."

"But it hurts here, it feels like there's an imaginary knife cutting my heart deep."

"That's for you to deal alone, it's your fault in the first place."

Jerry chuckled at that, sometimes, it hurts to accept the truth, but it needs to overcome nonetheless.

"What's your name?" Jerry asked out of nowhere, diverting their topic.

"Hannah, Jayvee's ex girlfriend."

Jerry raised her left brow and stared at the woman in surprised. His mouth quirk up in dismay.

"Your what?"

"He's the one who dumped me for your ex, what a small world that we in, right?"

"Yeah." Jerry chuckled as he looked back to the dark skies. "Have you already move on?"

"I'm a liar if I tell you I did."

"That was like what? 4 years?"

"5 to be exact, but what can I do? He's my first love, he's my first in everything, I even foreseen our future together, we made plans about marriage, family and the future, but when he started his world tour, he suddenly became cold and one day when I woke up, he ghosted me, leaving a message that we should stop everything because he didn't love me anymore."

Jerry felt his heart clenched, and it's his turn to feel pity at the woman, while the anger inside him grew stronger for Jayvee.

"Let's help each other." He then offered after a minute of silence.

"Oh please no, I'm not up into revenge thingy." Hannah shook her head fervently while giggling. Alcohol started to kick in.

"Who said we'll do that? We just have to make a plan for moving on, like we should go around places, find things that will help us get occupied and—."

"That's sound good, but I have one rule." Hannah said as she crossed her legs and looked at Jerry's cat-like eyes intently.

"What?" Jerry pressed.

"Don't you dare to fall in love with me."

Jerry broke into fit of loud laughter, he throw his head back and laugh louder that his eyes formed tears on the corner.

"b***h, that's not gonna happen." He said between his cackles.

"Then it's a deal." Hannah said, ignoring Jerry the way he addressed her. And the night grew deeper as they continue to talk about random things, until one got knocked down due to taking too much different hard whiskeys.

Hannah stood up from the couch, she gripped on the edge of the couch to balance herself but her knees wobbles and she fell onto Jerry's body, the latter open his eyes and met such beautiful green eyes, Her eyes were the sweet hue of spring clover, and Jerry didn't know if it's him or the alcohol took over his mind. He leaned closer to Hannah's face and aim for the woman's red and sexy lips, but before it could happen, Hannah got her consciousness and pushed Jerry's face lightly.

"Please no."

"I'm sorry." Jerry whispered. "You have beautiful eyes by the way."

"Jayvee told me that." Hannah said bitterly as she heaved up from Jerry's body. She looked down to the guy who's barely opened eyes and she chuckled. "You should sleep."

"Yeah r-right."

Morning has arrived and the rays stroking Jerry's face, he open his eyes slowly, then blink three, four, five times to adjust them into the dazzling light blinding him. His hand went to his head as the severe headache greeted him, he massage it to at least lessen the pain, then reluctantly, he sat straight, stretching his back from his complicate position, that's when he realised that he's not in his house, the unfamiliar view from the balcony, the couch where he slept on, the unfamiliar scent lingering around him.

He stood up abruptly and grab his phone on the table, fifteen missed call from his best friend, eight from Seul-ki and to his surprised, 38 missed calls from Liam who seems so worried about him than his own best friend. He walked straight back inside the house and he roamed his eyes and see no one, but he can hear sounds from the kitchen, he tiptoes his way down and head straight to the front door.

"Fuck." He mumbled when he successfully exited the condo unit and walked straight to the elevator. He's stomping his feet and browsing text messages from his phone when the elevator door opens, he looked up and got surprised to see the least people he wants to see first thing in the morning.

Rosie's eyes were wide as owl when she saw Jerry standing outside the elevator, his hair disheveled and he seems in a rush and distressed.

"Going down?" Jayvee asked monotonously.

"Uh y-yeah." Jerry said hesitantly, he was about to step inside but Hannah shouted his name. He stopped and look on his side.

"You forgot your hoodie." Hannah said panting while handing the hoodie to Jerry. "You're in a rush, I was just preparing breakfast for us." She added with a wide smile, her eyes were focus to Jerry that she didn't notice the two people inside the elevator, looking at them in shock.

"T-thank you and I'm sorry, I have to go home or my best friend will kill me." Jerry said nervously as he could feel the burning gaze on his face coming from the tall blonde woman.

Hannah seems to noticed the distressed in Jerry's face and she looked at the elevator, only to get surprised to see her ex boyfriend with Jerry's ex girlfriend. She tried to be casual and suddenly clings onto Jerry's arm, who got startled from the sudden action.

"I'll walk you to your car." She then said with wide smile that her eyes turns into crescent.

"W-what?" Jerry asked in surprised but he quickly recomposed himself when he noticed Jayvee, glaring at their arms. "Uh s-sure, babe."

"We're not going to wait for the two of you to finish flirting, we have much more important things to do."

If it came from Jayvee, Jerry would knock him off right here, right now. But the things is, it came from the particular blonde who seems so annoyed at the sight in front of her.

"Sorry." Jerry apologize half-heartedly as he guide Hannah inside the lift.

The ride to the ground floor feels like forever as the tension inside the elevator gets thicker and thicker, Jerry could feel the burning gaze on his nape that making a hole in it. He looked at the blonde through the clear reflection of the metal door, his brows furrowed when he saw something on the corner of Rosie's lips.

He was about to turn around but the door already open, Jayvee grabbed Rosie's hand and drag her out of the elevator until to their car. While Jerry and Hannah left inside the lift, both confused and dazed.

"What's wrong with him?" Hannah hissed.

"Definitely because he was inside the lift with two people he didn't expected to see." Jerry chuckled and turn around to face the woman. "Thanks for helping me there."

"You helped me too just so you know."

"Yeah right, I should go now."

"I'll drive you home."

"No need, my best friend is on her way to beat my ass." Jerry showed his phone and Hannah saw the cursed words came from Hayley, she laugh and nod her head. "Still, thank you."

"We're already a team, you should get use to it."

Jerry didn't say anything and just smiled at the woman before he turn his heels and waved his hand in the air without looking back. He's still bothered to the bruise that he saw on Rosie's lips, he just didn't had a chance to see it clearly, but he was sure as hell that it was a bruise, and if he prove it right, he will beat Jayvee mercilessly without holding back.

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