Anhedonia

Explain Yourself, Lady.

As the days go by, the wedding preparations are coming to an end and so is Jerry's heart who still beats for Rosie. He kept reminding himself to smile everyday, it's not hard to do so, especially since he's been picking up Akisha every afternoon. The kid could make his smile in her cuteness, but after he would drop the kid in their house, he would unleash his sad face and mourning heart.

One week left and it's time for him to finally let go. He just needed a week to contain all of his emotions and put a mask on his face if the time has come that he needed to stand inside the church, while waiting for Rosie to reach the altar and Jayvee waiting for him there and not him.

Just imagining those scenes makes his heart clenched so tightly that he needs to suck for air and fill his lungs with oxygen, then tears will fall down until he falls asleep. Then the next day, he will do the same routine. He's been doing it for almost two weeks and yet he never asks for help because he doesn't want his friends to know that he's suffering again.

And now that he's been confined to his apartment and always busy himself with his work, his friends keep dropping at his office to pay him a visit and check on him from time to time because even if he didn't say anything to them. They know how hard it is for Jerry to accept the upcoming wedding.

"Come on, buddy. It's my day off to Seju and next week, I'm going to teach again so I will be busy." Seul-ki closed the screen of Jerry's laptop for the umpteenth time since he arrived and started nauseating the younger guy to go with him in the bar or anywhere else but his apartment and his company.

Jerry heaved deeply then he chuckled, giving up to what he was doing because the older guy doesn't seem to have any plans to stop the same thing for almost an hour.

"Fine, one drink and I'm going home. I need to finish this paperwork." Jerry closed all the folders scattered on his table and piled them and put them inside his bag.

"Yes! Finally!" Seul-ki sighed in relief after he successfully convinced Jerry to go out with him. "One drink and that's it." He added, almost jumping to his seat as he stood up and dragged Jerry outside his office, who just kept shaking his head in his friend's antics.

The two arrived at the nearest bar. Seul-ki dragged the younger guy to the corner with a four seater table. He called the waiter and ordered two buckets of beers which made Jerry look at him ludicrously.

"I said one drink."

"Nah, I just agreed because you're hard to convince." Seul-ki laughed and he looked at the entrance when he saw the woman craning her neck around and when her eyes landed to the corner, she waved at Seul-ki and made her way towards their table.

"Hi, can I join you guys?" The woman asked.

Jerry's face lighted and his lips stretched widely as he stood up, pulling out the chair and letting the woman take a seat.

"Does your man know that you will be in this bar?" Jerry asked.

"No, so please don't let him know." The woman replied and the three of them laughed.

"He'll get mad at me if he finds out."

"Then be it, as if you're not going to fight him just to be with me anyway." The woman chuckled, leaning her head at Jerry's shoulder.

"Miss, stop flirting." Jerry pushed the woman's head playfully but they just laughed again.

"I just missed you so much, stop depriving me from showing how much I missed my best friend." Hayley sneered, slapping Jerry's hand and this time, she pulled her best friend into a tight hug.

"I missed you too." Jerry mumbled, kissing Hayley's head.

Their drinks arrived and the three started to catch up, it's just two weeks yet they felt they didn't see each other for almost a year.

Their conversation somewhat ended up with the topic they wanted to avoid but it's really inevitable since Jerry still needed to be at the wedding because Jayvee made him his best man which Jerry refused but his cousin insisted. And was hoping for him to show up at the wedding.

"Well, that's cruel but don't you think it's time for you to show them that you're not affected at all?" Seul-ki commented since they opened the conversation.

"It is cruel and honestly speaking, I haven't moved on at all. I'm still affected." Jerry admits, smiling sadly while staring at the bottle on his hand. "I have plans after their wedding and I think it's the only way for me to move on."

Seul-ki scoffed and he looked away when he heard it. He already knew about Jerry's plan but he never told anyone. He may have agreed to it but deep inside him, he's still hoping for Jerry to change that decision.

"What plan?" Hayley asked, looking at her best friend confusedly at the same time, excited because she's thinking that whatever plan it is, she'll support it just to make sure that he wasn't going to stay like this forever.

"I'm leaving to—."

"No." Hayley quickly said to stop whatever Jerry's going to say. With those three words, Hayley immediately knows what he's going to say and she didn't like the idea even a bit of it.

"But—."

"You're not going to leave, Jerry. No one's going to leave!"

"Oh come on!" Jerry hissed, putting down the bottle a little bit harsh than he intended. "Rosie left for five years and you guys didn't stop her but why me? I needed it to save myself from going insane!"

"There's a difference between you and Rosie. You hurt her and that's the only way she could heal herself—."

"I'm hurting too!" Jerry shouted, amid the loud music blasting from the speakers around the bar, Hayley and Seul-ki were still shocked from that shout. "This heart.." Jerry started calmly now as he pointed to his chest. "Couldn't take it anymore, Hayley." His voice sounded so weak and devastated. The two could see how fragile Jerry is, and he's on the verge of breaking down. "I'm in so much pain that I couldn't take it anymore."

Hayley stared at her best friend sympathetically and couldn't find any words to console him so she just remained silent.

Jerry withdrew a shaky breath, looking away so he could hide his eyes filled with tears threatening him to fall. He bit his lower lip and let out another deep breath.

"Again, I know it's my fault and I have no right to get hurt." He stopped as he choked back his tears and pulled a fake smile but ended up crying when he saw his best friend's eyes looking at him with full of sympathy in them. "I.." He sobbed as his lips started to quiver. "H-help me."

Hayley immediately pulled Jerry and engulfed him into a tight hug as he broke down and started crying hysterically against Hayley's shoulder.

Seul-ki looked away because he couldn't bear the sight of Jerry crying for how many times that he lost count since Rosie left that day. He wanted to shed his own tears but he stopped himself and stood up.

"I'll just go to the bathroom." He excused himself. Hayley nodded at him and he squeezed himself through the crowd to get to the bathroom. When he got inside, he immediately called the reason why Jerry had been hurting.

"Seul-ki."

"Where are you?"

"I don't think—."

"Oh come on! You need it, you both need it so get your ass in here before I drag you out from that man's house!" Seul-ki almost shouted at Rosie before hanging up and went back to their table, he let out a sigh upon seeing Jerry still crying his heart's out.

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"Who's that?" Jayvee asked when he saw Rosie talking with someone on the phone.

"It's Liam."

"What does he need?" He eyed his fiancé accusingly.

"He wants me to go to their house because Akisha is looking for me." She lied, hoping that Jayvee would bite it.

"Why don't you take a visit? You've been so caught up with all the preparation, I couldn't blame the kid." Jayvee shrugged his shoulders. He knows that Rosie has been so busy with the preparation so he thinks that letting the woman unwind with the kid will not harm their relationship and he also knows how much the kid is so close to his fiancé.

"Is it okay?"

"Of course, but it's late. You should visit—."

"But Akisha couldn't sleep till she saw me." Rosie cut him off.

"Oh is that so? Then you should go now, let me drive you." Jayvee said and he didn't wait for Rosie to decline as he grabbed his car key and offered his hand to Rosie.

"O-okay." Rosie smiled nervously.

While they were on their way to Manoban house, Rosie decided to call Liam so he wouldn't be surprised to see her knocking on his door in the middle of the night. But unfortunately, Liam wasn't answering at all. So she hopes that Liam is still awake and just busy with something.

"We're here." Jayvee said after he pulled the car in front of the gate.

"Thank you." Rosie said and she leaned to give the guy a kiss on his cheek before she got out of the car. She waved her hand but Jayvee didn't have any plan of driving away and waited for Rosie to get inside. "I'm fine, you should go now."

"No, I'm not going to leave till you get in." Jayvee said sternly.

Rosie pursed her lips into a thin line and heaved deeply before pressing the doorbell three times. The small gate opened and Liam was surprised to see her as expected.

"What are you—."

"Please let me in." Rosie whispered that only audible to Liam. The latter furrowed his eyebrows and looked behind his best friend and saw Jayvee looking at them inside his car. Then Liam realized what's going on so he decided to ride along.

"Hey, thanks for driving her here." Liam waved his hand to Jayvee and let the blonde inside the gate then shut it. "What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Can we get inside first just until he leaves?" Rosie said and she dragged the guy back inside their house. They still could see Jayvee's car outside, as if he's making sure that Rosie is not going anywhere.

"Explain yourself, lady." Liam demandingly stated as he crossed his arms on his chest.

"Look, I need to go somewhere but I can't let Jayvee know where it is."

"So you lied about going here instead." Liam nodded his head then eyes the girl suspiciously. "And where are you supposed to go?"

"I can't tell you. But I need your help."

"Take off your cardigan and I'm going to pretend to be you, I know that he is going to wait for you somewhere." Juhyun said, suddenly popping out from the kitchen.

"Wait, what is going on? Why am I not updated?" Liam asked confusedly looking at the two women.

"I'll tell you tomorrow." Rosie quickly removed her cardigan and gave it to Juhyun.

"I'm not going to let you out until you're not telling me where you are going!"

"Liam, will you quit it? She said she'll tell you tomorrow!" Juhyun scolded and Rosie laughed when Liam pouted. It feels nostalgic when Juhyun gets mad at him like he's that kind of annoying brother who cannot let go of Rosie, just like the old times.

"Fine! But tomorrow, I deserve to know every detail!" He groaned.

Juhyun pretended to be Rosie as she ran out of Manoban house and got inside the Uber they called. And just as expected, Jayvee tailed the Uber and when Rosie and Liam made sure he's already far. Rosie used Liam's car and she drove to the bar as fast as she could.

Upon entering the bar, loud music greeted her with a reek of alcohol and smoke. She looked around and she saw Seul-ki waving his hand to get her attention. She waved back and made her way to their table. Seul-ki tapped Hayley's shoulder to inform her that Rosie already arrived.

"What took you so long?" Hayley asked when Rosie approached them.

"Jayvee drove me to your house and now Liam wants to know everything tomorrow." Rosie explained but her eyes were on the guy that she was sure was drunk while his head was on the table. "I got this now, thank you."

"Please, don't fight. This will be the only chance that you two will close everything." Hayley said as she hugged the blonde.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" Seul-ki asked.

"No need, I brought Liam's car."

"Okay then, here's his address, please be careful okay? And once you two are done talking, leave him. Do not do things that will make his hope's up." Seul-ki said firmly. He doesn't want to repeat what happened to them in Liam's house.

"Thank you." Rosie smiled gratefully and gave the two another hugs before they left them two alone.

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