Alpha's Solace (Black Moon Saga Book 1)

Confessions

Later that evening, Adam visits the Logan home with some important updates. Betsy greets him at the door, surprise evident in her face until realization sets in.

“Hello there, Alpha. You’ve come to see Kylie, haven’t you?”

He smiles and nods subtly. “I see you have heard the news. And please, it’s just Adam now. The Alpha is my son.”

“It’s kind of like being President, though, isn’t it?” she reminds him cheerfully. “Once you’ve held the title, it’s difficult to see you any other way. My schoolgirl friends and I still think of your father as Alpha, too.”

“Fair enough,” Adam concedes, chuckling softly. “May I come in?”

“Of course, of course. You’re always welcome here. Kylie is out back resting in the hammock.”

She steps out of the way and waves him in.

“But what news did you mean?” she asks as she follows him inside. “I just thought you had heard that Kylie was in town and wanted to see her for yourself.”

“I did hear earlier today, and then I joined Marc for a visit with her,” he explains. “I figured you might have heard from him or Jonah that I discovered then that she’s my mate.”

They’ve made it as far as the kitchen, and Betsy stops in her tracks and stands across from him in shock, her mouth agape.

“What? How? Why now?” she demands. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled, I’m just surprised. How did we not know this?”

Not having the answers to her rapid-fire questions, Adam can only shrug in response.

“No one was more surprised than me at this revelation, and I still haven’t wrapped my head around it,” he admits to her. “Who gets a second-chance mate at my age? And why wasn’t it obvious when she turned eighteen? More mysteries, I guess. The only explanation I can come up with is that I was so convinced she was for Marc that it skewed my senses or something. It took some time apart and him moving on with his life with his own mate for me to get my head on straight, maybe.”

“Maybe, but you know what? It doesn’t even matter. Sure, it’s odd for an Alpha to find his mate after he retires the title and no longer needs a Luna and heirs, but we’ll take it. You both need this. You’ve been alone for far too long, and she needs someone who can provide a nice, quiet, comfortable life. Or better yet, maybe when you turn her and she shifts, her wolf can heal her.”

“Uh, actually, I’ve been thinking about that all day,” he says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as a sign of his discomfort with the topic. “And I've decided I’m not going to mark her and complete the mating. Her body is too weak. She won’t be able to train to build up her strength and endurance like she needs to so she can survive the first shift. Sure, I’m an Alpha and she has a better chance than most, but I’m not taking the risk of losing her.”

“So, you plan to reject her?”

The hurt is plainly evident in Betsy’s voice as she questions her friend.

“No, never,” he assures her with conviction. “I want her. Part of me has always wanted her and known she was mine, but now that it’s certain, I could never live without her. Sure, it would be easier on me in time if I rejected her, but I can’t do that. She needs me too. Especially now, after Marc received word back from The Council this afternoon that she will not be permitted to stay here. They want her out of town by the end of the week. My thought is I can take her to that cabin where David and Olivia lived with the kids. It’s outside the protected area, but still close by so you can visit her whenever you want.”

He pauses, smiling sadly as he recalls the way she looked when he saw her earlier that day, before adding, “I’m sure she would never willingly agree with me, but after seeing the condition she was in earlier I don’t think she should be left alone. I’ll gladly live with her and take care of her, even if it means keeping myself in a sort of mate-bond limbo. I have to say, I have never understood David and his decision to do the same with Olivia up until today, but I get it now. It’s a worthwhile sacrifice for the one you love.”

Betsy is quiet for a moment considering all this, staring at a tile in the kitchen floor as she ponders. Adam makes his way over to the cupboard beside the sink and retrieves two glasses before filling them both at the tap, handing one to Betsy and keeping one for himself. She takes the glass from him, and then finally looks up at him again.

“I think you’re doing the right thing,” she admits after reflecting on it. “I’m not confident that she would survive, either. And thank you for always looking out for our little girl. I can’t think of a better person for her, and you don’t know how much I appreciate the sacrifice you’re willing to make. If there’s anything we can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“I appreciate that. Somehow, it helps just knowing that the woman who is closest to her, the woman who raised her and loves her like her own, agrees that this is the right path.”

He finishes his water, carefully setting his glass in the sink and deciding he has stalled enough. If he waits any longer to go see Kylie, his nerves might get the better of him.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to excuse myself now and join her outside,” he tells Betsy.

“Of course. Just be sure to have her come inside before you leave. She has a tendency to lose track of time when she’s engrossed in a book.”

Adam chuckles and agrees, and then turns and makes his way through the house to the sliding door that leads to the back yard. He can see Kylie lounging in the hammock on the back deck through the glass and pauses a moment to appreciate his mate. She looks so peaceful and content all curled up with a book like that. But fearing that lingering too long watching her without her knowing might seem more creepy than sweet, he finally pushes open the door and steps outside.

Kylie looks up from her novel and smiles at him, and he returns her smile with one of his own that makes her heart flutter again.

“Hey again,” she greets him as she sets the book down on the deck beneath her hammock. “Can’t stay away, can you?”

Her teasing makes him blush slightly and nervously run a hand through his wild hair. She doesn’t know how right she is.

“Uh, no I can’t seem to,” he returns with a sheepish grin. “Just wanted to see how you are doing after some rest.”

“Why don’t you come join me and see for yourself,” she retorts with a sly look and a purr to her voice, realizing after she says it that it came out a lot flirtier than she intended. Now she is the one blushing and feeling nervous.

“Uh, sorry,” she apologizes almost as soon as the words have left her mouth. “I don’t know what came over me or why I said it like that. That was super inappropriate, so forget I said it.”

Adam laughs and relaxes a bit once he realizes it is not just him feeling the attraction and pull of their mate bond.

“It’s not inappropriate if you meant it, Kylie. You’re not a kid anymore and I don’t view you as one. If you want to cuddle, just say so. I will gladly join you.”

She grins and exhales in relief.

“Yes, please. Cuddles, yes,” she says playfully, her excited eyes sparkling at him invitingly.

Then she scoots over some to make room for him to join. He grasps the sides of the hammock to stabilize it as he attempts to get in with her, knowing that it can be a tricky matter that could mean dumping them both out if he’s not careful. After a bit of maneuvering and lots of giggling on her part, he finally succeeds.

It's a bit awkward as they maneuver and adjust their positions, figuring out how to share the hammock comfortably. He faces her and puts his arm under her neck, and she tucks her arm with the cast like a wing folded between them. Then he repositions her pillow so they can both share it, and pulls her to him, letting his free arm drape loosely over her hip. Her other hand holds the pocket of his jeans.

Neither of them speaks for a few moments as they gaze at each other and bask in the moment, until it’s him that finally breaks the silence.

“Is this weird for you?” he wonders.

“No,” she shakes her head slightly. “Should it be?”

“Just thought you might have some feelings about being so intimate with your friend’s old man,” he teases.

“Okay, first off, you’re not that old,” she scolds him, smiling. “Now that I think of it, I have no idea how old you are, but you look incredible regardless of your age. Not even a gray hair or anything.”

He grins at her, soaking in the compliment and watching how she chews her lip, debating whether to say what she’s thinking.

“Actually, I think I need to confess something,” she finally decides to go for it.

He gazes at her with curiosity, raising an eyebrow with interest as he admits, “Now I’m intrigued.”

She blushes, still gathering the courage to admit to him the truth.

“I’ve pretty much always had a huge crush on you, and this is kind of a dream come true for me,” she tells him nervously, not willing to look him in the eye and see how he’s taking her confession. “I have fantasized about something like this happening so much that I almost expect to wake up in the morning to find out it was just a dream. So, this is not at all uncomfortable for me.”

As if to prove it, she raises her eyes to meet his, flushing slightly when she sees what appears to be an amused smirk on his face.

Adam is surprised but beyond pleased at this revelation. His smirk is the result of him suppressing the urge to grin ear-to-ear, not wanting to come off as too eager just yet.

“Really …  wow, I’m flattered. I had no idea,” he responds warmly, taking a moment to admire her, contemplating how best to proceed.

He captures a loose piece of her hair with his fingers and tucks it behind her ear before he brings his face closer and grins mischievously at her.

“So, you’ve been fantasizing about me, huh?” he asks slyly.

The way he looks at her when he says that and how his voice suddenly sounds lower sends chills down her spine and makes her body tingle. She laughs nervously and tucks her face into his shoulder to hide from his gaze.

“Not like that,” she protests, which comes out slightly muffled by his body.

He chuckles and kisses her hair. “In all honesty, you’re not alone in that. Not when you were younger, of course, though I’ve always had a special spot in my heart for you. But when you got older, it changed, and I’ve struggled to come to terms with it. Then seeing you today, and now you telling me that, well, I can tell it’s a lost cause to even bother fighting it anymore.”

She looks him in the face again, her courage renewed by his confession. “That feels really good to hear you say that, but uh, I have to tell you something else that is probably going to make you a little uncomfortable.”

“Uh oh. This doesn’t sound good,” he can't help worrying about what she could possibly be alluding to.

She takes a breath, steadying her resolve, and proceeds to confess her longest held secret.

“I’m not as old as you think I am.”

The look on his face reveals his shock and confusion as he asks her, “What do you mean?”

“I mean I lied when I first met you,” she begins to explain. “I told you I was nine, but I was actually six. I was just worried about my mom getting in trouble, not knowing if there were rules about how old you have to be to stay home alone with a baby. I didn’t want her to get into trouble if six was too young.”

He sucks in a surprised breath at that revelation, still listening as she continues to explain herself.

“Now when I think back on it, I laugh, because really what is the difference between six and nine when it comes to that, but back then it felt like a whole world of difference. And then once the lie was out, I could never figure out how to fix it without breaking everything else. Like I didn’t know if Marc would want to be friends with someone so much younger, and I didn’t know if I had to be a certain age to go to my school. I thought about confessing again when I was thirteen and my parents wanted me to get a driver’s license because they thought I was sixteen, but the selfish part of me really wanted that license. So, it just never felt like the right time.”

She sighs, never more ashamed or disappointed with herself than now. No amount of explaining the reasons why she felt it was justified then can change the fact that she should have told him much sooner, and she can't help feeling guilty about that.

“But now I’m realizing that I should have spoken up long before now,” she acknowledges her blunder, “because when you thought I was eighteen was probably when your feelings for me started to change as you said, and it was unfair of me to let you think that. I was fifteen, and you probably would have felt very differently if you had known. I just hope it doesn’t affect how you feel now.”

Adam exhales a long, slow breath but stays quiet as he considers this new information. He was exaggerating when he told her his feelings changed for her back then, because really it was Kieran who started behaving differently about her. Regardless, he doesn't regret what he said because it seems to have inspired her confession, and he's glad to finally know the truth.

What she doesn’t know, though, is how important that information truly is and how much he wishes he had known sooner. He would not have been so hasty to dismiss his ex-wife when she suggested that Kylie might be his mate if he had known that she was not even of age yet. He could have gone to see her after her real 18th birthday just to lay his curiosity and Kieran’s agitation to rest, and he would have realized eight years sooner that he could mark and claim her. Maybe then she would have been in a better position to survive the change, and if he had marked her then, she could have been healed already and wouldn’t be in the condition she is in now.

He doesn’t let himself get too far down this rabbit hole, though, before he shakes off his train of thought and focuses on her in front of him now. She looks worried, searching his face for any sign that he has changed his mind.

“Hey, the past is the past,” he assures her. “It doesn’t change how I feel now. I’m glad to know, and I appreciate you telling me, but in case you’re wondering, no I am not upset. Intrigued mostly.”

“Okay, good,” she exhales her relief, and he feels her relax against him. “Intrigued about what?”

“How you managed to pull off that deception and none of us ever caught on. I believed you when you said you were nine, and I even had experience with having a kid that age. It’s remarkable how you always seem to be wise and mature well beyond your years. I suppose that’s also why there being such an age gap between us doesn’t feel off to me.”

“Me either,” she quickly agrees.

Glad to finally be allowed this close of access to him, she takes a moment to study his features, admiring his long, messy, silky-looking black hair and his ample beard. The lines of his face draw her in, showing off his maturity and experience, and his laugh lines remind her of his enticing smile and the robust laugh which has always felt like a prize to her when she does or says something to cause it.  

“You know something? You’re the only man I’ve ever truly been interested in," she admits to the one she has been busy admiring. "I always felt silly about it, like it was some stupid schoolgirl crush I needed to let go, but try as I might I never could. I’ve never been with anybody because no one I met could ever measure up to you.”

“Oh wow. That means so much, Kylie,” he says with a hint of emotion creeping into his words.

He smiles and strokes her hair, secretly relieved that she comes to him pure and untouched. Not that he would have held it against her if she wasn’t. He certainly isn't.

But could this mean that somehow, she has been subconsciously aware of the mate bond this whole time? It has been known to happen when werewolves grow up together that mates are drawn to each other even before they come of age, but he has never heard of a human having this sense. Kylie has always been perceptive, though, and it doesn’t surprise him as much as it should.

“So, how would you feel if I asked you to be mine?” he wonders aloud after being quiet a moment.

“Yours? As in your girlfriend?” she wonders excitedly.

“Yeah, as in my girlfriend. Would you like that?”

“Yes!” she emphatically agrees, without even a second of hesitation.

Not able to contain her desire for him any longer, she leans into him and tentatively kisses his lips. It surprises him, but he takes only a second to start kissing her back, softly at first before he lets loose his hunger for her. He nips at her bottom lip, and she gasps in response. Using this opportunity to shift his body closer against her, he presses the attack on her mouth with his tongue, gaining entrance through her parted lips. She moans softly before following his lead and letting her tongue tangle with his.

That moan and her eagerness are too much for him and he begins to feel his excitement pushing against the fabric of his jeans. And then he can’t help panicking a bit because it has been so long since he has shared a moment like this with a woman, and never with one so much younger than he is.

His confidence wavering, he decides to pull back and take her face in his hands so he can look at her. She whimpers slightly as he pulls away, and he can smell the sweet scent of her own arousal intensifying to match his.

Still, he feels it is best to take things slowly with her. It was just this morning that he asked her to stop calling him Mr. Brentwood, and now here they are tangled in a heated embrace and kissing passionately. And she’s his mate and now his girlfriend. His girlfriend! That’s something he hasn’t experienced since high school.

Stroking his thumb gently across her cheek, he appraises her flushed cheeks and plump lips and brushes the few loose strands of her hair out of her face to allow him to admire her gorgeous hazel eyes. She smiles shyly at him and bites her lip, enticing him to place one last gentle kiss on those lips before pulling his face away from hers. Then he tangles his fingers in the hair at the back of her head and gently nudges her to lean her head against his chest again.

It is quiet between them for a moment before he hears her melodic voice ask softly, “Why’d you stop?” and he realizes how innocent she still sounds. The undertone of hurt that he hears in that simple question concerns him.

Worrying that she might be feeling rejected and trying to decide how to convey all he is feeling right now, he explains, “Because this is all moving so fast. I don’t want you to get swept up in the momentum and not take time to think about all that has changed in this one day and consider how you feel about it.”

“I know how I feel about it,” she stubbornly insists. “It feels amazing and tingly all over, and I’ve never felt anything like this.”

Which is sadly true, considering the few dating experiences she has had that have left her underwhelmed, to say the least.

“I’m glad to hear that, and it feels amazing for me too, but I still think we should take things slow,” he cautions her, though it’s as much a reminder for himself that she’s human, and he has to be careful not to let himself get too caught up in the tendency that werewolves have to rush things with their mates.

She pulls away from his shoulder and looks him in the eye, smirking at him humorously.

“Says the guy who went from zero to ‘be mine’ in like five minutes,” she playfully points out.

“True,” he chuckles, unable to argue with that. “Has your answer to that changed?”

“Are you kidding? No, of course not.”

She puts both arms around his neck as best as she can while lying sideways in a hammock with one arm in a cast, and pulls him to her so that their noses are practically touching.

“Mine,” she whispers playfully, laughing as she rubs her nose against his like an Eskimo kiss.

Outwardly, Adam laughs with her and kisses her lips once again. But inside, Kieran is unbelievably excited by her quiet declaration.

“Did that really just happen? Does she know we’re mates?”

“No, I think she’s just playing. She doesn’t even know how closely she hit the nail on the head, though, does she? Adam remarks.

She’s incredible, Kieran purrs approvingly.

Kylie breaks his concentration on the conversation with his wolf when she asks coyly, “What if I don’t want to go slow?”

“Well,” Adam considers for a moment, buying time by stroking her hair and placing kisses on her cheek, her nose, and finally her forehead. “This isn’t the place, I think.”

But then he realizes that this would be a good opportunity to bring up his plans, and asks, “How would you feel about taking a little vacation with me to that cabin you used to live in outside of town?”

“You know,” she c***s her head to the side thoughtfully, “I actually haven’t been there since the day I left with Jonah. I didn’t even know if it still existed.”

“It most certainly does. There are probably a few things missing from when you were last there, things which were collected as potential leads or evidence when investigators searched the house for clues about your parents’ disappearance. But otherwise, it should still be pretty much how you remember. It’s been vacant this whole time, but I checked into it. We just need a couple days to send a crew out there to clean and get it ready, and then we can stay there.”

“It was never sold or anything? Who has been paying the bills?”

She’s surprised, but it’s an excited and hopeful sort of surprised.

“I have,” Adam admits. “It’s an important part of your history, and I didn’t want it to disappear out from under you. Honestly, I expected you would ask to see it well before now.”

“Trust me, I thought about it a lot as a kid. I just didn’t want to disrespect our new parents or make them feel like I didn’t love them. More childish overthinking on my part, I’m sure, but honestly as time went by, I have thought about that part of my life less and less. Too much else going on, I guess, plus I thought it would be someone else’s house by now.”

His beard captures her attention as it often does, and she reaches over to stroke it almost without giving it any thought.

“It will be good to see it again, though,” she tells him gratefully. “And thank you, for being so caring and thoughtful. You don’t know how much I appreciate that you’ve kept it for me.”

“Of course. I’ll let you know when it is ready, and we’ll go out there and stay as long as you like,” he promises, sealing it with a gentle kiss on her forehead.

They’re quiet again as he strokes her hair and rubs her back, enjoying the closeness with his new partner and silently thanking the Moon Goddess for this moment. But the sun is starting to set, and he realizes that the temperature has dropped since he first stepped out here.

Thinking of Betsy’s request for him to have Kylie come in before too long and starting to worry about her fragile body, he says, “It’s getting chilly. We should probably get you in the house before you freeze.”

She smiles, shaking her head at how overprotective of a boyfriend he is already proving to be, but agrees. It is getting cold, and she’s feeling rather tired after the eventful day she has had.