Alpha's Solace (Black Moon Saga Book 1)

Broken

Adam wakes the next morning to the warmth and brightness of the morning sun streaming through his bedroom window across his bare chest. He smiles at the pleasant and tingly feeling that still lingers from the wonderful dream he had been having. He tries to recall what he dreamt about, but realizes he has already forgotten it.

That’s because it was my dream, Kieran pipes up.

You had a dream? Adam doesn’t recall ever experiencing this shared dream sense before, and now that he thinks of it, he doesn’t recall Kieran ever telling him about having a dream of his own.

I did. It was about Kylie. We were in the backyard at her parents’ house …

Just then, his cell phone starts blaring on the nightstand and Adam rushes to answer it, now realizing that he is also experiencing a feeling of something being terribly off and suspecting whoever is calling him is about to tell him why. He glances at the caller ID on the screen which shows Betsy’s number.

“Betsy? What’s wrong? Is it Kylie?” he answers the phone, without even bothering with a greeting.

“How did you know?” she wonders aloud but doesn’t wait for his response. “Yes, it’s Kylie. She’s pretty bad off this morning and I’m at my wits’ end of what to do about it. I can’t bear watching her suffer like this. So, then it occurred to me that she has a mate now. I know she’s not a wolf and you’re not completely bonded, but I was thinking maybe you could try soothing her some? Worth a shot, I figure.”

“I’m on my way,” he replies as he reaches for the jeans he discarded the night before, feeling no need to waste time questioning her further.

He disconnects the call, dresses quickly, uses the bathroom in a rush, and only stops to consider his appearance at the last second before he heads out the door. A brief glance at his reflection in the mirror above the accent table in the foyer makes him grimace as he realizes how wild and disheveled he is looking this morning. He runs his fingers through his hair attempting to tame it as he hurries to his car.

Betsy meets him at the front door once he arrives and ushers him inside. Starting to make his way through the living room and down the hall toward Kylie’s bedroom, he finally addresses the question that has been eating at him since Betsy’s call.

“What’s going on?”

He notices with a side glance that Betsy is following right behind him holding her hand over her chest toward her throat, a clear sign of her distress and anxiety about her daughter, and this only worries him further. Betsy has spent more time with Kylie as an adult and is more familiar with her ailments, so her appearing this upset is unsettling.

“I went in to check on her this morning before I left for work because she never came out for breakfast, and she was curled up on her bed in a way I haven’t seen since she was 10 and had that awful stomach flu. She says she is too stiff and in too much pain to move. She asked for a heated blanket, which I gave to her, but she is still lying in there like that. You can just see it on her face how much it hurts.”

Adam pauses in the hallway right outside the door to Kylie’s room and turns to Betsy. He places a hand on her shoulder for a moment.

“You go ahead and get to work. I’ll stay with her and do whatever I can,” he assures her.

Betsy looks back at him, still wide-eyed with worry, but after a moment she nods and sighs.

“Alright. I suppose there’s not much more I can do here anyway. I trust you not to leave her side, even for a moment, until whatever this is passes.”

She phrases it as a statement, but he can tell from her voice and the look in her eyes that it is a demand. Not like he plans to do any differently, anyway.

“Of course,” he agrees as he shifts his gaze to Kylie curled up on the bed facing the wall and begins to enter her room.

“And call or text if anything, and I mean anything at all, changes. Good or bad,” Betsy adds on her way back down the hall.

He feels Kieran stirring restlessly in his mind, in part because their mate is in distress, but at this point it is mostly because of the furry little creature curled up next to Kylie on her bed that is now hissing at him. He smelled it the night before and was disturbed then as well, but now seeing it face-to-face has him completely on edge.

Adam attempts to approach slowly and carefully so that the cat does not feel so threatened, but his caution is fruitless. It takes every ounce of willpower to keep himself from growling out loud the way Kieran is in his mind.

“Knock it off, Bo!” Kylie calls out in irritation. As much as she loves Bo, this endless agitation is really starting to be exhausting.

“Your cat doesn’t seem to like me much,” he softly points out the obvious.

Well, it would be obvious if Kylie were facing his direction, but the way she startles when he says that tells him that she hadn’t heard him enter.

“Sorry if I spooked you,” he adds.

“Uh, I didn’t know you were coming over,” she says in place of a greeting.

She sounds nervous or uncomfortable at his presence, he isn’t sure which.

“Your mother called and said you were having some trouble.”

“I wish she hadn’t,” she sighs, still facing the wall.

“Ouch.” Her words sting a bit, and he wonders why she won’t even look at him.

She hastily continues, “No, it’s not that I don’t want to see you. It’s more that I don’t like to be seen like this.”

“Ah,” he says as relief washes over him. “Well, I’m glad she called, and I want to be here for you.”

He takes a chance on the cat and attempts to quickly scoop her up in a way that leaves her unable to bite or claw at him. He mostly succeeds, suffering only a minor scratch on his wrist, and proceeds to deposit the cat on the floor.

She assumes a sideways stance and sidles toward the door while growling lowly with her fur still bristled, before scampering off into the hallway.

He then takes the spot she just vacated next to Kylie and gently places his hand on her shoulder that is peeking out from the blanket. She shivers slightly at his touch, which would be more exciting for her if she weren’t in such pain.

“I don’t know what her problem is, but she has been like that since we got here,” Kylie explains apologetically.

“It’s probably all the wolves roaming around just beyond the yard. She’s a city cat, I’m guessing, and not used to all the wildlife.”

“You know, I hadn’t thought of that. You could be right.”

She is quiet for a moment, and though her face is turned away from him, Adam knows that probably means she is biting her bottom lip as she thinks about something.

“I appreciate you coming, but it’s not necessary. I’ll be okay. This will pass,” she assures him.

“Can you roll over to look at me, please?” he pleads, just wanting to see her face as she speaks to him.

“Well, I actually can’t right this minute. I’m hoping the heat from this blanket will loosen things up a bit, but sometimes in the mornings after a particularly restless night it’s really difficult and painful for me to move. This happens to be one of those mornings and it seems to be especially bad this time.”

“Kylie,” Adam’s voice comes out soft and he strains against the heartache he is feeling about his mate’s condition. “That doesn’t sound okay to me, not even close. There has to be something I can do to help you.”

He moves to lie down next to her and try to hold her.

Kylie senses his intention and interrupts, “Please don’t. I would love to cuddle with you any other time but right now any touch is just too painful.”

He freezes, dreading the idea of causing her any additional pain. Then a thought occurs to him.

“If heat helps, what about soaking in a tub of warm water?”

“Yeah, sometimes that can help. Right now, I can’t though. Maybe once I can move a bit better.”

“Let me move you and hold you. I’ll be gentle, I swear.”

“Uh … I mean … I suppose you can try. Don’t do too much moving, though. I tried just extending my elbow a bit ago and it was excruciatingly painful. I can’t open it. So, if you’re going to do this then you need to somehow move me in a way that my joints stay in the same position. Especially my elbows, hips, and knees.”

Adam cringes at hearing that. Her current condition sounds absolutely, heartbreakingly miserable, and also impossible. Don’t bend any of the bendy parts of her body? Easier said than done.

But he is determined to make her feel better, so he leaves her room to the adjoining bathroom. Thankfully, the tub is a large, deep soaking tub that should more than accommodate both of them. He starts running a warm bath, then returns to her room and carefully pulls the blanket off her body and sets it aside. After checking to be sure that the heat is turned off to the blanket, he surveys her clothes and her body’s position to decide the best course of action.

Noting the light cotton pajamas she is wearing, he sighs as he realizes the best way to disrobe her without disturbing her joints is to just cut them off. He retrieves a pair of kitchen shears that he had noticed on the windowsill of the window over the kitchen sink the night before and returns to Kylie’s room. Kneeling carefully on the mattress next to her, he begins making slow careful cuts to her pajama top.

She gasps as realization sinks in about what is about to happen.

“Is this the way you pictured us getting naked together for the first time?” she jokes to mask her discomfort.

He chuckles but takes a moment to respond as he is focused on the delicate task of removing the clothing without jostling her.

“Nope, definitely a first for me. But I’ve heard women like it when men rip their clothes off. It’s romantic.”

She giggles slightly, being careful not to let her laughter disrupt her body too much. He manages to gently roll her onto her back to make his task a bit easier, though now she feels a lot more exposed.

It’s not just being nude in front of a man for the first time that is making her uncomfortable. It’s also all her body’s imperfections being on full display and dreading how he will react once he takes the time to actually look. So far, he is concentrating so much on the clothes and on not moving her as much as he can manage that he doesn’t seem to be paying attention to her body, for which she is grateful.

He does notice, though. He just also senses her self-consciousness and is trying to make it less awkward for her by not making it obvious. He’s not sure if she would be more uncomfortable about him looking at her naughty bits or her swollen bits, so he tries to make a point of avoiding paying too much attention to any of her body besides her face. But he can't help gasping slightly when he removes her socks and sees her disfigured toes and ankles. He notices a tear forming at the corner of her eye and immediately regrets losing his composure for that moment, however brief.

Moving to position himself hovering over her so he can look her in the eyes, he uses his thumb to wipe away that tear.

“Kylie, you’re beautiful. The most beautiful person I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing, in fact. I’m sure you have lots of feelings about how you look or what I think of how you look, but unless you’re feeling like I think I’ve won the lottery and can’t understand what I’ve done right to have you, then you’d be wrong. I only reacted like that because I don’t know how you’ve been walking around on those feet. They look so painful.”

She smiles a weak smile up at him and sighs. “They are. But they’re the ones I’ve got.”

“So strong,” he murmurs at her in admiration, returning her smile and lightly stroking her cheek again with his thumb. Then he moves away and stands up, turning to smirk at her.

“Guess it’s my turn to get naked now. I don’t see any other way to get you in the tub without bending or hurting you unless it’s in my arms and on my lap.”

“Hoo boy,” she acknowledges as she exhales a breath and closes her eyes, not yet ready to see him naked.

He chuckles and undresses quickly, not wanting to make her more uncomfortable than necessary. Once his clothes are off and on the floor, he returns to the bathroom to turn off the water and adjust the water level. Then he comes back in her room and gently scoops her off the bed, holding her in a modified bridal style pose with care not to put too much pressure near her joints. She winces a little when he lifts her, but it isn’t as painful as she feared it would be.

He carefully carries her the few steps into the bathroom to the tub and gingerly steps into the water and sits himself down while holding her up a bit above the water. Then he gently eases her into the water and down to him, turning her slightly so that her limbs mostly fit into the tub with him. Her knees poke out a bit since they are still bent. She is leaned against him sort of c**k-eyed, with him cradling her one-armed and the back of her head leaned against his shoulder. He resumes filling the tub with warm water until it is at a level as close to her neck as he is comfortable making it before he shuts off the tap again.

Noticing her eyes are closed, he searches her face, trying to determine if they are closed from the pain or because she is relaxing. Judging from how her body still feels stiff and tense against him, he worries that it is pain she’s feeling.

Not able to remain patient in the silence any longer, he finally just asks her, “How are we doing? Any better?”

She opens her eyes and looks up into his concerned face. “Well, being in the tub always helps at least a little, kind of like being in a pool. So, there’s that. But no, there is still too much resistance when I try to open my elbow or extend a leg. This isn’t making it worse, though, so we can stay longer and see.”

“Okay,” he agrees, but he is already worrying what to try next if this doesn’t help.

He finds it strange that Kylie is acting like this immovable body is totally normal for her. Then his heart sinks as he realizes that this probably is totally normal for her. He decides to shift instead to distracting himself.

“Is it okay if we talk?” he wonders. “I don’t want to be a nuisance if it’s too much for you to focus on a conversation, though.”

“No, we can talk. Honestly, I would prefer it because otherwise this is kind of awkward.”

“I’m sorry about that. Tell me truthfully, am I making things worse by trying to help you or am I actually being helpful?”

“You’re helping,” she reassures him. “Maybe not in the way you intended, because I don’t think this will work, but it’s strangely comforting that you’re here and obviously determined to stick with me through this.”

“Why is that strange?”

“Well, because like I told you I usually try to isolate myself on a bad day like this. I hate people seeing me like this, and I hate the way they look at me. But you’re here with me, trying to figure out what you can do, and I appreciate that so much. Also, it’s strange because you being near and touching me actually doesn’t bother me like it usually does. You are either the gentlest person in the world, or you have magic powers or something. Either way, it feels kind of good and I actually don’t mind.”

Adam smiles and leans forward slightly to softly kiss her forehead. “Definitely the magic powers. Magic hands specifically.”

Kylie giggles again at his cheekiness. “I almost believe that. Hey, speaking of creatures that make me feel good, do you remember that wolf, Kieran?”

Kieran is giddy at hearing his name and such praise from their mate. Adam’s smile turns to a grin at his reaction, and he nods slightly.

“Yep, he’s my favorite too. What about him?”

“I had the best but strangest dream last night and it was about him. We were in the backyard lying on the grass together. And you know what? He could talk to me, but it was in my head. Isn’t that weird? Well actually it was a dream, and also, I always used to wish I could talk to him, so it makes sense. But it felt kind of weird.”

Adam remembers that Kieran had started telling him about a similar dream earlier this morning, and he feels his wolf’s confusion at hearing Kylie say this.

“Yeah, I suppose that would seem kind of weird. What did he say to you?”

“I don’t remember all of it, but I do remember that it was me that started the brain conversation. It was like somehow, I knew we could do that, but he didn’t, so I had to break through his resistance or something. Then once I got through, it was great.”

“Well then I guess the better question is what did you say to him?”

“I don’t really understand what it all means, if anything. My brain voice said, ‘Kieran, open your mind to me.’ And then he did, I could feel it, and he was able to talk back. His voice was cool, too, exactly how he looks like he would sound if he could talk. It was deep and growly, but not in a mean way. I don’t remember everything we talked about. It was weird, though, like I said, but also kind of nice. I do remember him telling me that his favorite color is the color of my eyes. So cute. And I bet he would be sweet like that if he could actually talk.”

That is exactly like the dream I had, Kieran claims in disbelief in his deep, growly voice. It seemed like my fantasy, but how did she dream it too?

Maybe this is how the mate bond works on humans, Adam theorizes. And really? The color of her eyes?

It’s true, Kieran growls at the mocking. You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.

“I don’t know if it means anything other than you really like that wolf and used to hang out with him in your backyard,” Adam explains, “and you and I were just in the backyard last night having a conversation sort of like that, so maybe your brain just mashed it all up together and made you a nice dream.”

Yeah, thanks for that, Kieran scoffs. Make it all about you, then.

“Yeah, maybe,” Kylie agrees to the possibility. “I hope you don’t take offense to my brain confusing you with a wolf, though.”

Adam chuckles, marveling at how they are dancing so closely around the truth. “At least it’s your favorite wolf. I’ll take that compliment.”

They stay in the tub just a few moments more before Adam decides to switch gears to a new plan. The bath isn’t working, and soon the water will be turning cold and probably doing more harm than good.

“Kylie, would you be willing to humor me if I were to take you to see Dr. Kosh to see if she has any tricks up her sleeve that could help you?”

Kylie remembers that Dr. Kosh is the doctor in town she used to see as a child.

“Well, she could probably give me some shots to help get my parts moving a bit better, but the problem is I don’t know how you would get me there.”

“I’ll call Marc to come drive us,” he explains. “I’ll carry you and hold you on my lap. Magic hands, remember?”