LOVES NOT IN HER DICTIONARY

MAKE-UP

Heading straight for the double layered glass mechanized sliding door with the intention of hitting the shower to water down to release some steam. she allowed the cold water pour over her fully clothed. The water made her tears invincible without a move of her muscle. Drenched from head to toe, wishing it would be her sorrows washed away. A necessity at the moment, to relief her aches so she could calm down her nerves to enable her refresh, relax with a more calm mind, to ponder in more reasonable mood.

Mansa dashed back out after popping her head through Jennifer's bedroom door and realized she was in the shower. She failed to notice, she was inside with her full dressing, to pick up the prescription for her. if only she knew, she was in there like that? she would have rushed to her.

Mansa returned with two cups of smoothie from their favourite fast food join, 'peter pan' to meet a more, calm Jenifer curled up on her cherished, L-shaped latex foam couch in her floral, baby pink hooded towel bathrobe with the hood covering her head it looked as if the cold shower did good.

she handed her one of the cups which contained her favorite smoothie, Strawberry banana. Mansa drop the plastic bag containing the meds then fell weightlessly in another sofa next to her in silence. she was also a human and was exhausted from all the emotional and physical turbulence they had been dealing with for the time being. Never the less her thoughts could not settle, she wanted to know what exactly was her friends worry. it was not long before she had to release her restless thoughts.

"Baby girl! Are you sure good?"

Jenn knew she couldn't shade away any longer and needed to start giving answers not just any but reassuring ones. And yeah! it's high time she dealt with all the pending issues and conclusions that had to be hedged. She needed to face everything coupled with everybody head on and get done with it. she began by saying her apologies.

"First of all, I'd like to ask for pardon for how I treated you these past few days. I don't want to justify my actions with any excuse. I can only hope you'd forgive me. Even if you decided otherwise I would understand. I know I have been a sour b***h. Honestly I appreciate your care and support through this times when, I was dreadful to you. And yes! as she smiles faintly, I am cool."

"Come off it! you need not. apologise. Listen I understand where you was coming from totally. Should I be in your stead? I may have done far worse. Nonetheless, I am going to be open as we always have been to each other ahead of the misunderstanding kk! I am not going to let this open window go to waste. Honestly, I was hurt! which I believe I should be; If not it'd meant I didn't love you like the sister I claim you are to me. i also need you to never in your existence from now on lose sight of the fact that I would ever wish misfortune for you in any form or way. imbibe it into your blood stream ' biiii-aar-tch!'(as in b***h stressed in a german ascent). You ma sister from another mother for life baby girl." She finished her speech with a sarcastic laugh.

"wiii-aaar-tch!"(witch as in german ascent) Jenn hurled back, this was one of their jest punch lines, which meant they had settled their difference now. she progressed to express her gratitude.

"I appreciate your sympathy, I really do. if our places reversed? I swear! I'd be on your neck right now! like choking you right now! to give you a taste of how I'd felt. For what I put you through. the shitty behavior was uncalled for. I don't know what was getting me annoyed. Much as I think about it doesn't make sense. Anyway once again, I am really sorry babes. However, I am most thankful we going to leave it behind us whiles we move forward in progress. And hey! Heart you for this smoothie, very thoughtful of you; Babes I was on the verge of passing out! lols!" with this they both screeched thunderously

"On a more serious note! I want to ask you something and I want you to pour it out as we do, no hold backs because I feel you keeping something that's bothering you from me but, before that promise you not going to get angry when I do say what it is."

" Mansa! did you seriously have to make me do that? ....like promise? before you could say anything? I thought we were on the same page now."

" well! yes we are. But what am about to ask, I am a hundred plus 1 percent sure is very sensitive to you. Besides we don't know what could flip the psychotic switch up there 'pointing to Jenn's forehead, with wide goofy question spiked eyes' on.

"Fine! I promise! now spit it out"

"I noticed you are not happy about your present condition; I am curious as to why? And before you get me wrong, let me make myself clear ooh! We both know old Soldier loves you unconditionally. Furthermore, you are financially stable. which means whether he decides to be for or against you got this covered. so what could be the hurdle in your way?"

She scoffs! "is that why you made me promise? ' unbelievably gawking at her' anyway you kind of right. There is something bothering me to a devastating extent, making me lost as to what I must do. I agree majority of women out there would give anything to be in my position currently and point of correction! I am not vexed about it and neither have I accepted it. I am yet to make a decision on it. Although it is unpredicted." 'this statement was wrong because it was, only the vessel through which the predictions must materialize was unknown. Fate choose it puns'.

Truly financially there is nothing to be worried about as you rightly pointed out. The thing is we both know he has been away for about 3months now. we did communicate over this period however, not once did any tip based on the topic at hand come up due to my ignorance. Then all of a sudden 'tears welling up in her eyes' I tell him am carrying his child! ' now the flood gates were opened, talking amidst sniffles' how do you think he is going to feel or even think? The thought that there is a possibility of him assuming I cheated on him kills me ... Sis. 'wailing now' Babes I love him so much, I can't bear just the idea of losing him or his distrust. I am very much aware of his marital status fully but I don't mind! For my parents well! we will deal with that when we get to that bridge, not going to be an easy cross but am willing to take the chance. Honestly, I feel am left with two major options accompanied with minor strings , which is to get rid of it without informing him putting an abrupt wrap on all this."

"No! Baby girl! countered Mansa as if that was jennifer's final resort

"I haven't commenced the story yet you already think it's too long a narration ha? 'composing herself as she continued' or letting him on it, to see what he thinks or says. if he denies? I am still having this child . Which leaves me alone in the battle of the century with my parents."

"No girl! you know i will always be with you no matter who or what you facing right? I will never forsake you!" assured Mansa

" Thanks babes, I really appreciate it. Well, so.lond as I have let the cat out of the bag? it stay! I will give this developing human a chance. But if he accepts it ...HURRAY! we doing it together, which means we facing the invocation of the wrath of Mr. and Mrs. kumodzi's in full rigor. Should I end it all or go for the whole drama. The million-dollar question which I would have paid for if I would get an answer without having to go through all the torment myself."

"This is messed up than I had imagined but I can finally stop worrying and try help you figure out a solution to your pending unsettling headache. I have heard all you said , Trust me, I am with you in whatever you decide just my suggestion tho! I strongly believe you should put this before him in respect to the love that you guys share. listen everybody deserves a chance to prove themselves worthy or not. what if this could be a bases to ascertain his feelings for you? Nothing happen just for happenstance you know? Most importantly I think you should give this baby the chance at life with the father in all scenarios. Just check it out , you conceive without your knowledge for over 3 good months! Don't you think there is a reason why this baby was hidden till now? I have a foreboding this baby is a special one. it might even be a blessing in disguise you know? I am a soon to be aunt and you dare not take that away from me." she wined playfully

"I am grateful for your candid opinion and suggestions; I feel a lot more at ease after letting it out. I can guarantee you that, I will put your words to consideration when making my final conclusion. while the doctor says I have not much time to waste if I wanted to do away with it but I feel I have a long way to go. for now I am just going to take these meds to avert this unsettling belly of mine and have a brief beauty sleep, I deserve it after the charade I have had to be involved in.

" Here! here!! Mansa shouted jovially

Before she could stretch out on the couch for her semester, a faint music which was similar to that of her ringtone echoed lightly through the house.

"That sounds familiar." suggested Jennifer

"really? are you now also loosing your senses of accurate sound conjoined with your hormonal imbalance?"

"What do mean by that any way?" she asks absent mindedly

"Jenn! where is your mobile phone? 'Mansa hollered' besides that is your ringtone double decker!" teased mansa

"oh my goodness! 'she exclaimed' I am not sure, where did I even put my hand bag? 'she inquired as if she shared it usage with someone' it should be in my bed room. That was the last place I've been since we came back. I' ll get it." making a move to get up.

"Don't you move a muscle! I'll get it for you" came Mansa. As she heads to jennifer's bedroom she wonders. ' I have heard pregnancy could cause a whole range of dysfunctions but not deafness? That is a new one? How can Jenn of all people not identify her own ringtone. should I be worried or am I over thinking like madam 'pregnant deaf tone' back there? She shrug her shoulders then giggles, amused at the nick name she has conjured for her friend.

"lets get that phone" she sings in a self composed tune.