The thin line between love and hate

The ladies man

LOGAN’S POV

“Why did you just let her go man?" Nicolas asked me for the millionth time " I think I have been asking you the wrong question all this while when what I should have been asking you is why you kicked her out of the packhouse" he said and I sighed

"Nick, you and everybody else won't understand how complex this relationship was," I said

"Complicated or not, it shouldn't have been that easy for you to get rid of her. She was you mate?" He said and to be frank I was starting to doubt that fact myself

"As I said, it's all very complicated," I said dismissively, how many times did I have to tell them that I didn't want to talk about this?

"Okay, I will stop. But will you tell me what your next plan is. I mean you know you should have settled down by now. You can't keep playing the field, you are not like any other wolf" he emphasized

"Will you just stop Nicolas, I mean I know what is supposed to be done and when it is supposed to be done. You don't have to be breathing down my neck every two seconds" I snapped

" I know that but I will, you know that your father made me promise him that I will always have your back and I will not have any of these dumb wolves second-guessing your power as alpha," he said. Although Nicolas was a little overbearing to me at times, I had to be honest in admitting that if it wasn't for him I would just be a bag of bad decisions. However, he never knew when to stop, and right now I wanted him to.

"I know man, but like I said I will talk about it when I am ready. all you have to know for now is that I no longer have a mate. Not only because she killed herself but also because she broke the mate bond before doing so" I said and his eyes widened in shock, he wanted to know more and wanted to ask but I shook my head. I didn't want to answer any questions he had.

"Fine I will let you be, but you need to get yourself I'm depressed and move on with your life," he said and I couldn't resist laughing

"Is that even a real word?" I asked him and he shrugged

"I don't know, you are the smart one, anyway I will leave you to it and I will see you later," he said walking out of my office and leaving me to my misery and reality once more.

I couldn't believe that this was happening to me, I couldn't believe that Aurora had left. At first, I thought that she left because she was mad at me for whatever reason but now I was starting to believe that she might have meant what she said to me. I tried convincing myself that she would soon come back and that this was just a hiccup, I was certain that she would come back to me and forgive me for whatever I had done to her after she failed to break the mate bond but instead she ran and killed herself. Was I that bad as a mate? I couldn't understand what I could have possibly done to her that could have led her to her death.

But she was my mate and no matter how much I tried, I could never detach myself from her and it was even worse now because she was no more and I couldn't help blaming myself for that. What if I could have done something to make her stay and stop her from doing what she did? I guess I would never know now because she was now dead and never coming back.

My world came crashing down when I received news of her death, it was still unclear to me the reason why she had killed herself. I couldn’t quite understand why she would run away from me and then kill herself, I didn’t even hunt her down. I had intended to, but I decided against it when Nicolas told me that would only push her further away from me. I should have never listened to him because if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t have killed herself, I would have kept her safe here with me.

Now I was a laughing stock in the entire town, of course,e no one would ever dare to laugh or say anything in my presence but I hated the mere fact that they were talking about me. I had to find my second chance mate and fast, I loved Aurora but killing herself only showed me that she was never cut out to be the pack's Luna. She was weak and I Hoped that my second chance mate was going to be much stronger than her. I needed someone who could cope with the pressure of being my mate and handle it, from the look of things Aurora had been the weakest link and I guess I should have been grateful that she was removed from my life and never to return.

“Man you need to slow down with the alcohol,” Nicolas said as I poured myself my 6th glass of the brandy that I kept in my office. I had been drinking a lot now that Aurora was no longer here, I just felt like I was losing everything that I had tried hard to achieve. I felt like I had disappointed my father in a painful and embarrassing way

“Leave me alone Nicolas,” I said as I threw the drink down my throat and poured another one

“It’s not even noon yet and you already reek of alcohol” he pointed out and he was right but I didn’t care, this was the only way that I could stop thinking about how miserable my life was. I could never tell or confide in anyone about just how miserable I was in my life, felt that if I told anyone and that included Nicolas I would be revealing my weak spot and allowing them to take advantage of me.

“Listen to me Nicolas, you just pay attention to all the work that I gave you and stop counting the number of glasses I drink,” I said

“You mean all the work that you were supposed to do that you passed on to me, at this rate I should just take over as alpha,” he said and I threw my glass at him barely missing him by an inch, who the f**k did he think he was to even insinuate that he could replace me and take my place in this pack and insinuating that I was incompetent.

“Can’t you take a joke?” he asked me with a nervous laugh

“Pick your jokes wisely or they will get you killed,” I said

“I have an idea, you know that you are not getting any younger and you need to find your mate as soon as possible,” he said and I rolled my eyes, and when I almost fell off the chair I realized that I was drunk

“Can you tell me something less obvious pleas?e” I said, “I need a mate, don’t you think that being thirty and mate-less is embarrassing enough for me?” I asked him and then smiled “Oh that’s right, I am not mate-less, my mate killed herself because she couldn’t handle the pressures that came with being with me, what a weak b***h” I said

“You are diverting from the main topic here and if you keep diverting every conversation you have back to her you will never be able to move on from all that bullshit. You need to find another woman and as they always say that to get over one woman you need to get under one” he said winking and I felt like something didn’t sound right about that statement and he was saying it wrong but I was too drunk and annoyed to correct him, I just wanted to hear where he was going with this.

“Everyone in this town knows that if there is anyone who knows how to attract a woman or woman it's you, so how about you search deep within yourself and try to find that player in you,” he said and I smirked he was right, I deserved to be loved even if I didn’t love the person that was giving me love I still deserved to be loved.

“I like how you think,” I said as I stood up and walked to the window in my office that was overlooking the pack training grounds and there were women that were training there.

“Just look at all those choices that you have,” Nicolas said as he joined me and looked at all the women that were probably dying to have me wave to them or even look in their direction

“You know what you are right, she doesn’t have to be my mate because for all I know it will take the moon goddess years to give me another mate. There is nothing wrong with me having a little fun while I wait for her to do her job” I said

“Exactly, especially if she is blaming you for Aurora’s death,” Nicolas said,d and as much as I wanted to snap at him for saying that, I had to bite my tongue and allow him to run with my narrative that he thought he knew.

“I say we get all these beautiful women in one place and see which ones we like and by we I mean you,” he said patting my back

“Let’s do it tomorrow night, it will be like a celebration for my freedom from that weak b***h” I said

“You are diverting again man don’t do that, we are trying to move on. Let's celebrate your freedom, let us drink and toast to you being back in the game, and to do that you will need to start by taking a bath” he said as he covered his nose and moved away from me

“Alright man, I will get started on the arrangements. It is going to be lit” he said as he pumped his fist in the air and then ran out.

Just by observing the way that Nicolas was acting, one would think that he wasn’t a mated wolf,f and yet he was. Nicki, his mate was like the female version of him and I guess that was the reason he hadn’t changed much after he met her. He found someone who complimented him and she liked almost everything that he liked. I kind of blamed Nicolas and Nicki for the way I was feeling. They had given me the idea that there was more to life than partying and f*****g every girl that threw herself at me, they made me believe in the mate pull when I thought it was all a load of bull. I should have known that what they had could never be replicated, I should have known that my own love life wouldn’t turn out the way Nicolas’ life had.

However, it was now too late for me to have any regrets because I would never get a do-over. Aurora was gone and I had to look forward to what the future held for me. And for as long as I had control of who walked into my life, I was going to make sure that it was all going to be worth it. I was going to make sure that the next woman who shared a bed with me was going to adore me like I was the moon goddess herself.

Because that is exactly what I deserved.