IDOL

Chap-8

Next morning, we all packed the things and loaded on the buses and mini trucks. After getting all things done, we went to our buses. I looked around to find Luca. I found him talking to a staff member. I walked towards him, pushing my hair back as they were getting into my eyes.

"Hey Luca." I said as he took a step forward.

He stopped walking and looked back.

"Oh, hey!." He said, coming towards me with his hands in his pants Pocket.

"I wanted to know, in which RV we will be traveling?." I asked him, looking at his hairs as they were being messed up by the strong wind.

"Same as before. We don't have space in the others. If you dont feel comfortable, i will try making.."

"No no. I am fine. I was just asking." I said smiling down at him for his generosity.

"Oh kay. " He nodded his head and gave me a thumbs up and went away.

I looked around and saw Sirius members capturing some pictures of each other and enjoying the last minutes in this beautiful forest before we leave. I wasn't feeling well, i felt nauseated so i took my things and went to bus in which i will be traveling.

After putting the bags, i took a seat and put my head on the cold glass of window and sighed. Pulling my legs under myself, i was in a relaxed position and closed my eyes.

It was so silent. So peaceful.

............

Pulling my legs against my chest, i sighed as i felt a bit relaxed. The pain in my lower abdomen was killing me. I never had this kind of pain before. I couldn't understand what was going on. As i took deep breaths of relive, i felt a sharp pain in the lower abdomen. I cried out in pain.

What the hell is happening to me!?.

I picked my head up from the soft bed and stretched my hand to grab my phone from the side table. Opening it, i saw the time, it was 2 am. I sighed and closed my eyes in frustration. I wanted to call him, but i didn't want to disturb his sleep, his routine is so hectic. I wanted to call him and tell him i am sorry. But i didnt wanted him to see me in this condition. See me when i am so weak, as i appear so strong in front of him.

I clenched my hands and tried getting up from the bed. I took a deep breath and sat down. I was in my third year of medical college so after performing abdominal examination upon myself, i came to the conclusion i had appendix pain. I needed to go to hospital right away.

Panicking i grabbed my phone and dialed Ashley's number.

"Hey dear. What happened?." She said, she was on night duty today.

"I have appendix pain. I can't bear it. Please could you come and get me?." I asked as closed my eyes as another sharp pain hit me.

"Oh. Lay down and take deep breaths. I can't come out to get you, there's an emergency case here. Why don't you call Anthony?." She said, probably confused.

"I can't. He- um- he is busy. He has a tough routine going on. I can't- "

"Okay. Let me see what i can do. Just hang on dear. Okay." She said cutting me off and hang up.

The phone fall from my hand and i pulled my hair into a loose pony. I threw the covers away and got up from the bed. I hissed in pain as waves of pain hit me.

Oh god. Please help me!.

I pleased as tears came into eyes, sniffing i put my coat on. Looking around i found my shoes, under the bed. I tried pulling them out with my feet but it wouldn't budge. I sighed in frustration and as i bend my back down to pick them up, i felt a severe sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I fell down with a loud cry.

I pulled my legs up my chest and cried out in pain. I don't know what happened, i was going in and out of consciousness. I heard a door banging against the wall from afar and loud running steps.

"Oh my god!. Eun Ae!." Hands grabbed me, engulfing me into their warmth.

"An-anthony?." Words escaped from my dry chapped lips.

"Yes!. I am here. Stay with me, open your eyes!. Hey!. Look at me!. You are going to be fine." His scared voice almost made me chuckle. But i cried out in pain.

He pulled me up in his arms and then i fell into darkness.

.............

"Eun Ae!." I felt hands shaking me hard.

I groaned and frowned.

"She is awake!. She is fine. Thank god!."

I heard several voices which hurt my head more.

"What is going on?." I asked with difficulty as my throat was parched. I blinked my eyes open and looked up to find several faces. I blinked and rubbed my eyes while sitting straight.

"First drink this." A glass full of water appeared into my vision.

I looked up at the person who was passing me the glass. It was Seo-joon, he looked concerned and wore a cute worried expression.

"Thank you." I said grabbing the glass from him and drank it all.

"What happened?." I asked looking at their concerned faces.

"You weren't responding. We were calling you for a while and Bong Cha couldn't find your pulse." Nicole said, who still had panicked look.

"Are you feeling okay?." It was Tae-hoon oppa who asked me that.

"Yes. I am fine now. I was just feeling light headed." I told them as they were huddled around me.

"I am sorry. I didn't knew you weren't well otherwise i would have been with you." Bong Cha said, looking guilty.

"Hey its okay. I didn't want you to worry, that's why i didn't tell you. Don't worry i am fine, in case you are thinking why didn't you find my pulse, it was because you were panicking." I said and hold her warm hand. Squeezing my hand she smiled.

"But you should tell anyone if you are not feeling well. What if something serious happened and nobody comes to help you?." Baek kyung with a stern tone.

He was upset. He considered me his good friend, he shares a lot of things with me. He always tell me if i wanted to share something he was there for me.

"I am sorry." I said to him. He sighed and shake his head

"Take rest and if you don't feel well tell us. We live like a family here, everybody here whether that is a member of staff or department, we are one family. We help, love and care about each other. You are a family too." Baek kyung said and in the end he gave me a pat on my shoulder.

I felt at home as he said that. I needed to hear this kind of words from someone. I felt at ease and smiled at him. He nodded his head.

"Take care." Tae-ri, Joo-ho, Nam-joo and Tae-hoon oppa said one by one and went back to their seats. Ho oppa threw a look at me and then back to his seat. Seo-joon looked at me and licked his lips. It was like he wanted to say something but he couldn't. He just shoke his head and went back to his seat.

"Are you fine?." Nicole said, taking a seat beside me.

"I am fine, Nicole. Stop worrying." I said and hugged her.

She hugged me back tightly and sighed in relief.

"I was so worried. I thought something happened to you and i even shouted for a doctor, then we all remembered you were the only doctor here." She said and added 'duh' in the end.

I chuckled at her. Made me feel much better.

"Thank you guys for looking after me. It must be the effect of medicine that knocked me off." I joked and it worked. They chuckled and gone were their worried expression which put me as ease.

They took their seats and i sat alone as i wanted to. I felt empty, like a hollow sphere. I sighed and looked out of the window, trees passing by in a blur as i zone out.

Memories of my past making their way towards me. I closed my eyes tightly and thought of something else. His voice, his laugh rang in my mind, i clenched my teeth as my heart pained. I took deep breaths to calm myself, i couldn't break again. Not in front of them. I released a breath as i felt better a few minutes later. I felt someone looking at me, my sixth sense was strong. I guess everybody is. I turned my head slowly to my left and made eye contact with Seo-joon. He was frowning at he looked over me. He quickly looked away as he got caught. Baek kyung sat beside me who was busy on his phone didn't saw this interaction.

My phone's ringtone made its appearance at the right time. Taking it out of my pocket, i looked at the caller id. It was Ashley. Swiping to right, i put the phone near my ear.

"Hey Eun Ae." Hearing her soft voice, a smile formed on my face.

"Hey Ashley. I miss you." I said as i faced away from them.

"Woah. Haha. Are you okay?." She was surprised at my sudden outburst.

"I-i." I hesitated and bit my lip.

"Eun Ae?. What happened?." She asked, her voice laced with concern.

What the hell are you doing!.

I cursed at myself and scolded myself.

"Nothing. I am fine. What about you?." I said in a stern voice.

"I am good. You telling me truth right?." I made her worried.

I hated myself for making her worried about me.

"Yes!. I am fine. I promise!." I said chuckled to add cherry on top of my acting.

"Oh Kay. Well i called you because it's serious." Her voice made me sit straight in my seat.

"What is it?."

"He is asking for you again. I tried telling him about you being busy and he wouldn't budge. But he listened to Asher, he calmed him down."

"Where is he now?." I asked, my hands getting sweaty as my heart was beating fast against my rib cage.

"Asher and him went out to spend sometime with eachother. I hope he would stop asking questions, or else it would be difficult for us to hide this from him." Asher was Ashley's husband.

I only hummed as gears in my mind were moving fast.

"I am sorry for worrying you. I just wanted to inform you about his state." She said softly.

"I can't thank you enough for what you are doing for me. I- i promise i will come back to get him. I just need some time to work it up and make myself strong before i face him." I told her and felt my breath caught in my throat.

I felt my panic attack coming.

"Take your time honey. I will see you soon honey. Love you " she said and hung up the phone.

I rested my back against the seat and took deep breaths and put my fingers over my wrist to check my pulse. My pulse was fast. I felt suffocated in the bus, the windows weren't the one which opened. I hurriedly moved out of the seat, i felt eyes on me but i didn't cared about that. I walked towards Luca and tapped his shoulder. I grabbed the seat next to me so that i couldn't fall.

"Hey Luca. Sorry for this, but i am not feeling well. Could you stop the bus for a while." I asked him and he quickly stood up and made me sit on the seat on which he was seating. He passed me a water bottle and went to talk to the driver. The bus stopped after a while. I made a run as soon as the door opened.

"Careful!." But i wasn't listening to anyone.

The pain in my heart was much more worse than the pain i felt in my head. The dead leaves crackled under my feet, i placed my hand on the nearest tree bark next to me and took deep breaths to calm down my anxiety.

I heard several steps from behind me.

"I am fine." I said in breaths.

"You are not." It was Baek kyung's voice.

I didn't respond and focused on my breathing.

"Are you okay?." Seo joon's voice reached my ears.

"I am fine." I said but it came out as a whisper.

Foot steps made their way towards me. His face came into my vision, he wore a worried expression.

I don't know what happened but i felt okay. I wasn't feeling anxious. I kept looking at him. He nodded his head and his eyes stare into my soul. It was like he could understand me, without me saying anything. His eyes told me that he was there for me.

"Come, we will take you to hospital." He said as he looked at me intensely.

"No. No need. I am fine." I said while shaking my head.

"You are a doctor you should know you should go to hospital." It was Nam-joo. I chuckled and looked back at them.

"Nam-joo. I am a doctor, it's just a panic attack. I am fine now." I told him and looked at others.

Ho oppa and Tae-ri wore confused and worried expressions on their faces as they watched me from within the bus. I felt bad for making them worry about me.

"What is bothering you?. Are you stressed out?." Nam-joo asked me, coming towards me.

"Nothing really. I am fine. You shouldn't be out, someone could recognize you and it would be troublesome for all of us." I told them.

They seemed to realize it and went inside. Seo-joon and Baek kyung still stayed out with me.

"I am fine. Please go inside." I told them.

They hesitated but went inside.

"Luca!." I called him as he was about to ascend the stairs of bus.

"Yeah?." He looked tired but smiled at me,

"I am going home from here by myself. You should go." I told him

"What?. No. You are not.."

"Please. I will take a cab and go home. I will be fine. I will ring you a call. Please pass me my bag." I told him as i walked around the bus and saw a empty cab coming this way.

I waved my hand at it and it stopped behind the bus.

"Please wait. I am going to take my bag." Telling the driver, i rush towards the bus.

Sirius members and staff members who were already looking at me from the windows. I looked away from them and walked towards Luca.

"Thank you. I am really sorry for causing problem to you all. I feel really bad about it." I told him as members had a shoot as soon as they arrive the studio and i was delaying it.

"No. Its fine. Not a big deal. You sure you will be okay?." He asked, looking unsure.

"Yeah. Don't worry. Please explain it to them and tell them not to worry." I told him

"Sure. Don't worry about it. They will understand. Text me when you get home." He said giving me a smile.

I nodded my head and walked towards the cab with my head down. I could feel their eyes, his eyes on me. But i didn't looked up. Opening the door, i sat down and told the driver about my address.

As the cab made its way around the bus, i looked up to find Seo-joon looking at me. He looked away as he threw me one look. I sighed and looked out of the window.

I felt like betraying Anthony.

My shake my head to get rid of the thought. As i let out a shaky breath.

~~~~~~