When Love is Gone

"Please! Ram, please! I'm begging you! Please don't walk away from me!" I pleaded desperately, tears streaming down my face as I clung to his legs, refusing to let him leave. I didn't care that he was dragging me along, I didn't care how pathetic I must have looked. I couldn't bear the thought of him going back to the woman I had taken him from. "Grachelle, stop this! We had an agreement! I promised to divorce you once she returned!" he exclaimed, trying to reason with me. I shook my head, knowing he was right. We had discussed this, we had a plan. But now that the moment had arrived, I couldn't bring myself to let him go. "I can't do it, Ram! I can't let you go!" I sobbed, but he just stared back at me, devoid of any compassion. He pried my hands off him, pushing me away forcefully once he succeeded. "Three years of marriage have been a nightmare for both of us, Grachelle. Isn't that enough for you? Do you want to prolong this charade you've created just to trap me in this marriage? Do I need to remind you of how you faked a pregnancy, manipulated me into marrying you, bribed my family, threatened Sara's life, and destroyed our future plans? Your selfishness has ruined us!" he yelled, his eyes blazing with anger.1. I did everything I could to be with you because I love you! I loved you so much!" I yelled at him as I cried even harder. Why can't he see that my love for him drove me to do those terrible things? I did everything possible for him to choose me. I gave him everything, my money, my body, my heart, and my soul. I thought he would be happy. I thought he would be content. When he said he didn't want kids with me, I agreed even though I wanted a baby with him. I followed his every word and did everything he asked, even if it meant giving up a lot for him. It was all because I love him so much. "But I don't love you, Grachelle. I will never love you." It was just a whisper, but it felt like a punch to the face. "Pity yourself, Grachelle, and stop being selfish. There are plenty of men out there waiting for you to love them back. Don't force yourself on me anymore. You can buy everything, you've even bought my family, my body, and my name, but what you can't buy is my heart." I was too shocked to respond. As he walked away, I just stood there, tears blurring my vision. ... How many hours have I been crying? Maybe three? Or five? I've lost track. Since Ram left this morning, all I've done is cry. I lay on the cold floor, staring at the furniture near the stairs. This house was a wedding gift from my parents. It's where Ram and I lived for three years. He was right. Our marriage was a nightmare. From the beginning, he treated me like a stranger. Being his wife was pointless. He only noticed me when I served him in bed. He was right. I am pathetic. But what can I do when my heart tells me to love him from the start? I loved everything about him - his stance, his walk, his talk. I adored his smile, his laughter, his demeanor. I admired his intelligence and responsibility. I loved him completely. I did everything to catch his eye. I even asked my dad to let me work in our company just to see him daily. But seeing him wasn't enough. I wanted more. I asked my dad to find a way for Ram and me to always be together. As an only child, my parents always gave me what I wanted. And at that time, I wanted him. He was promoted because of me. We worked on projects together, and I realized I wanted more. I didn't care that he had a girlfriend. I wanted him, and no one would stand in my way. I seduced him, and one drunken night, I got what I wanted. He regretted it, but I was ecstatic. Finally, I knew what it was like to have him, to be his. I still craved more. I longed for his eternal commitment. I fabricated a pregnancy and even funded his mother's surgery so that he would feel indebted to me. I demanded marriage, and he reluctantly ended his relationship to wed me. I was ecstatic. My fantasy had finally materialized. However, it was short-lived once he discovered my false pregnancy. He despised me from that day forward, yet he did not divorce me, for which I was grateful until his ex-girlfriend returned. I acknowledge that all of this was my doing. I understand the pain I caused him with my lies. I witnessed his suffering in every action and every glance. He detests me. He abhors me. And he is justified. He will never love me. I placed my hand on my stomach. "I'm sorry, baby. Because of me, you will grow up without a... father," I murmured, as if my unborn child could hear me. "But don't worry, Mommy will always be here for you, little one. I will love you just as I loved your father. I promise you, we will find happiness. We will be happy, my baby. Mommy will shower you with all the love you deserve." With shaky legs, I rose to my feet. I reached for my phone and dialed my mother's number. "Mom, please, just listen," I pleaded. My parents were initially against Ram, but I begged them to allow me to love and marry him. I threatened to ruin my life, and they didn't want to take that risk, so they eventually agreed. I never disclosed his mistreatment of me to them. I couldn't bear to hear them say that I deserved it. "Please, have our lawyers file a divorce for me and Ram," I requested, listening to my mother's screams on the other end. "Mom, please! Just do it. And please, have Dad's secretary book me a flight. Tomorrow, if that's okay. Yes, Mom. Yes. I'll sign the divorce papers before I leave. Yes, Mom. Just give Ram half of my property. He deserves it after the three years of torment I endured. Goodbye, Mom. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow." I made my way to the kitchen, searching for something to eat. Now that I've calmed down, I feel the hunger pangs in my stomach. I made a sandwich for myself, and as I began to eat, tears streamed down my face once more. I covered my mouth with my hand, my shoulders shaking as I cried uncontrollably. It took me two hours to finish the sandwich due to my overwhelming emotions. As I entered the Master's bedroom, my eyes fell upon the empty closet that used to hold Ram's clothes. A bittersweet smile tugged at my lips as I ran my hands over the vacant space. It had always been my ritual to ensure his clothes were neatly prepared, clean, and ready for him. Surveying the room, I reflected on the three years I had spent sharing this space with Ram. Every corner held memories - some good, but mostly bad. Carefully packing my belongings into my luggage, I eventually settled down on the bed we had shared for so long. This bed had been my confidante, witnessing every joy, sorrow, and intimate moment between us. It had seen me at my happiest and my lowest, especially during the times when Ram was absent or when our relationship was strained. Recalling the heartbreak of discovering I wasn't pregnant and the subsequent decision to stop taking birth control, I couldn't help but pour out my emotions to the bed. I had confided in it about my hopes of starting a family with Ram, only to have those dreams shattered when he announced his intention to divorce me for Sara. "I wonder if this is goodbye," I murmured to the bed as if seeking solace in its silent presence. Thank you for being by my side all these years. Your warmth during my loneliest moments meant the world to me. Your patience in listening to my complaints and cries never went unnoticed. Thank you for everything you've done to take care of me. I chuckled at my own absurdity. It was almost comical how I had poured my heart out to an inanimate object, treating it like a confidant. The laughter bubbled up inside me until tears streamed down my face once more. I have finally made the decision to let you go, Ram. I apologize for the pain I caused you and for disrupting your life. I hope that now, reunited with Sara, you will rediscover joy, laughter, and happiness. I regret taking you away from her, but my love for you drove me to desperate measures. Rest assured, I will not interfere with your life and well-being again. You won't have to see me anymore. However, I vow to care for our child, showering them with the love I once had for you. Perhaps, in due time, you and our child will cross paths. I hope you can welcome them with an open heart when that moment arrives. I love you, Ram, and that love will endure, even if it's unreciprocated. That night, I willed myself to sleep, despite the ache in my heart. Before I depart, there are still loose ends to tie up and documents to sign. ... The divorce papers were handed to me by one of our attorneys. I signed them while my parents observed silently. "Are you absolutely certain about giving him half of your shares in the company?" my father inquired. "Yes, Dad. He worked hard for it and deserves it," I replied. I noticed my father clenching his fist, but he remained quiet. Another set of papers was presented to me by the other lawyer, detailing the percentage Ram would receive from my shares due to our divorce. "Why do you have to leave, Grachelle? You know you're always welcome back here," my mother expressed her concern, her eyes filled with pain. "I need to go somewhere to heal and move on, Mom. I want to be far away from the memories of him. I'll return when I'm ready, Mom, Dad," I explained, hoping they would understand. "I hope you won't regret this decision, Grachelle," my father said, looking at me intently. I shook my head. "My mind is made up, Dad. I'll keep in touch, I promise." "Your flight is in two hours," Dad's secretary informed me. I thanked her with a smile. "I should get going then." "We'll take you there," Dad stated firmly. As we left his office and walked down the hallway, we encountered a couple walking towards us, clearly in love. I froze in place, prompting my parents to stop as well. The couple noticed us and paused, looking slightly embarrassed. After a moment, they continued on their way. "Good morning, Sir. I am stepping down from my position as... "You are now one of the shareholders of this company, so there's no need for you to resign." I noticed the shock on his face when my father spoke those words. Ram turned to me, his eyes filled with questions. I glanced at him, then at Sara, who was looking at me with pride. I met Ram's gaze again, making an effort to appear strong. "I instructed our lawyer to prepare our divorce papers yesterday, and I signed them this morning," I stated formally. "Grachelle..." "Have a happy life with the woman you truly love, Ram. I apologize for putting you through hell for the past three years. Sarah, take better care of him than I did." Sara lifted her head and smiled at me. "I will, for sure." I didn't regret using the same words he had said to me yesterday, seeing how they affected his emotions and how he struggled to swallow when my parents' anger was reflected in their eyes. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I had already walked past him before my body could betray me with pain. Thankfully, my mom caught my arm before I could collapse.