I looked around the classroom, mortified. I had group projects. We were so far in our college journey. Was this really necessary? "Hey, Tiera, right?" I smiled nervously at the boy who walked up to me. I think his name was Tyler.
"Yeah, and you are Tyler," I asked him. We had quite a few courses together over the years. I knew his face but I had never talked to him before today.
"Yes, I can't believe you know my name. You are like a superstar in our year. " I blushed hotly. Okay, heavy on the flattery there, bud. I wasn't special. I was top of the class and set to be our speaker at graduation, but superstar? Me? Yeah, right. I paused for a short moment. Lisa's words from a couple of weeks ago rang in my ears. Why couldn't I just accept his words? I shake myself I will deal with that at our next session.
"I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just thought, since we are both at the top we could partner for the fashion show." I sighed in relief. I thought finding a partner would be harder.
"Yes," I told him, my excitement bleeding into my words. He smiles, and I see the nerves leaving him. "Okay, don't find this weird but I've wanted to talk to you for a while. I get this positive vibe from you. I'm just a tiny bit of a coward. You're so cool."
"I'm going to be honest, I had no clue that anyone thought that about me," I chuckled sheepishly. "Yep, totally right about your vibe," he confirmed, laughing, reaching for my phone. He programmed his number into my phone. I smiled. I haven't really made friends in my courses. A new friend wouldn't be bad.
"I have another class I have to head to. I'll text you. We should meet up tonight and start planning." He tells me. I nodded at him, excited as well but also needing to rush off. We had the same courses but different professors for the other three needed to graduate. I had the bright idea of scheduling no breaks between so I could get done with my courses earlier in the day. I was hoping I would still be working at Blaque, so I left room for that.
I hurried through my day. Texting Tyler on and off. He was fun. We decided to meet at a small cafe off campus to start planning our fashion show. I had headed home to change before heading to him. A smile tugged at my face seeing him at the front of the cafe. We had been talking all day. I felt like I've known him my entire life.
We settled at a table in the back. I quickly scanned the menu. I was way to hungry right now for a salad, but I still wanted to get something healthy, so I ordered salmon. Just because I don't see myself clearly does not mean I can just be unhealthy. I had a check-up soon with my primary doctor. I'll wait to see what he says.
"Okay, so full transparency. I need this fashion show to be amazing. My dad is friends with an investor who loves up-and-coming fashion. If we pull this off we could be staring at an investment offer at the end of this."
He was so lucky. Ugh, I wish I had a prospect. Wait, did he say we?
"Did you say we?" my voice was hopeful.
"Yes, we. I have been looking at your designs for the longest time. I love them. I love how inclusive you are, and I want to see us both at a fashion week in the future." He tells me earnestly. I just stared at him. Opportunities like this didn't happen to me.
I fanned my face to bat away the tears welling up. "I feel like I am dreaming," I told him honestly. He just laughs. "You are so down-to-earth girly someone was going to swoop you up after this project anyway. You would just have been under someone else for a while. We all know your success is guaranteed either way." He tells me, pulling out his MacBook. I'm glad someone believes it.
I pull mine out as well, giddy. We sit and talk for hours.
I'm laughing at his impression of an old professor of ours as we head out. The sun has set. "Okay, let me head home. I can't believe we have so many credit hours in our last freaking semester. I may not have classes on Tuesday and Thursday but I still have so much to do on my off days."
I groan in sympthany. I had so much to do they definitely weren't going to just hand us this degree. "I know that business management course is just mean. We should only be focusing on creativity this semester. We get it guys be well rounded", I said to him mocking our advisor favorite saying. We laugh and part ways.
I felt so much happiness welling in me. My hands reached for my phone to call my parents and tell them the good news before I stopped. They wouldn't care. I wouldn't ruin this good day with their non-sense. I drive home before getting started on my homework.
I wanted to talk about my day. I wanted to gush that I might have found a truly genuine friend. I had no one to talk to. I was isolated and I didn't like that. I thought about Lisa's words and pulled out an open notebook. I started to write down my feelings. I had been so unhappy that I haven't been eating and almost constantly nauseous since the night with Ryan. My mental state was making me physically ill.
I still believe that this thing with Tyler might be a cruel joke in the end. I don't believe him fully. Even though I spoke with him for the last couple of hours, I knew he was a genuine person. The same way, he got good vibes from me. I did the same for him. He explained that he is painfully shy and it was so hard for him to speak up to me. It's funny because people in our classes thought I was supercool and just didn't have time to make friends with them. I admit it is just because I am shy as well.
I felt we were equally yoked. My other friendships always felt as if they were nice to me, as almost a charity case. This just felt more genuine. I don't know, maybe my anxiety will one day destroy my positivity around this. I think Lisa is right. I am depressed. I am anxious but with her help I might be able to fix this.
For now, I would just live in the moment and be happy to have a genuine friend.