Secrets and Truth

Chapter One

Chapter One

My chest tightens with every step Rosaline and Lee Seung Gi took towards us. 

Towards me

it was like the world had slowed down trying to force me to digest the sight in front of me, my pupil shaking, my heart beating loudly, threatening to burst out from my chest but even as sadden drowned me I just couldn't look away.

I couldn't bring myself to look away from them and I felt pathetic

I feel pathetic 

Both Rosaline and Lee Seung Gi wore black attires, Rosaline wore a long black dress with a shinning silver necklace piece that looked like it would cost a fortune, and on her finger was the shiniest diamond ring I have ever seen I my life. The biggest I have ever seen 

He must have bought that for her

 Her hands are wrapped tightly across Lee Seung Gi’s arm as her now long hair flowed down her back smiling happily. Her smile is matched with Lee Seungi Gi’s and that’s not the only thing that was marching

Why are they both wearing matching colors of clothes? Why does his black tuxedo match her black flowing dress and why is he smiling?

I thought I had gotten over the idea of him so why is my chest so tight almost to the point it physically hurt as they reached the table?

“Hi guys,” Rosaline said finally unwrapping her hands from Seung Gi’s arm as she goes in for a hug with So Ra who looks very uncomfortable but still hugs her back. My eyes should be focused on Rosaline and her huge stomach, not on Lee Seung Gi but I can’t help but steal stares at him behind the wine glass I had raised to my face to cover my shame

I feel like if he saw me he'll know that he still had a hold on me so I did what I was now best at - hiding

“Long time no see” So Ra said, her voice high pitch and I could tell that she was equally shocked to see them, pulling herself quickly out of the hug. “So you’re pregnant” she states the obvious gesturing at Rosaline’s very heavy stomach

“Yes,” she giggles, "Doctor said it's going to be a boy, we are excited" leaning into Seung Gi who’s hand was playing with the wine glass, his eyes focused on Rosaline, not even saving me a stare. What was I expecting? It’s been six years, did I think he would still be hung up over me? People even barely have feelings for someone they dated a year ago talk more of someone they had a relationship with six years, not even after what happened to with us

My head must have been way up my ass and this right here was a slap of reality.

I needed this

It hurts to face the reality that Lee Seung Gi and I are truly and finally over but I needed this reality check

“I thought you hated kids,” Dae Hee said gaining Rosaline and Seung Gi’s attention. Rosaline tries to move closer to Dae hee who stood opposite the table with me and stumbled. 

Seung Gi is quick to hold her hands “Be careful” he said with a frown and that was it. This was all the confirmation I needed to know that she was indeed carrying his child, so I poured the champagne down my throat. Once mine turned a stranger

“Thanks, babe” she mutters “You know I can be clumsy sometimes ” 

I rolled my eyes, not caring if Rosaline sees me about to baff at the lovey-dovey bullshit they were displaying in front of my alcohol nor caring if Seung Gi saw me, he barely has interacted with me anyways

I grabbed the whiskey, not even reading the label and pouring it into my cup as I listened to Rosaline speak “Who are you again?” she asked Dae Hee

Of course, she doesn’t remember Gong Dae Hee, I mean she never really had friends in school and the only people who ever came close to her, she either used as play toys or just had fun with. Why did Seung Gi settle for someone like her? I’m not even mad about the fact that he got someone pregnant, I’m mad about the fact that he got her pregnant

Down goes the whiskey down my throat, burning my nose so bad I had to close my eyes, letting the taste kick at the back of my throat before pouring in another cup of whiskey

I had a plan of being sober so in case So Ra decided to be drunk I could take her safely back home but out goes my plan. 

I feel myself get a little tipsy after the second drink and I run my hand into my hair. I go in for my third glass when I hear his voice “What about you Hyun Soo?”

I paused, my hands on the bottle of whiskey as I slowly looked up. Lee Seung Gi was talking to me, he was staring at me so he had to be talking to me. Lee Seung Gi had his big brown gypsy eyes settled on me, those eyes that reminded me of what we were. A soul mate who wasn’t meant to be. He is my Soul mate 

He was my Soul mate 

 I take my eyes away from his gaze and instead focuses on his hands. One of his hands is tucked in his pocket while the other holding the wine glass so elegantly. 

No ring

Of course no ring, I don’t think men wear rings when they are only engaged or do they? or maybe it was in the hand that was tucked in his pocket

"Hey" So Ra's voice takes me out of my train of thought and I looked over to her "Are you okay?" she mouths and I nodded then looked back at Lee Seung Gi

he is talking to me for the first time this night, well technically for the first time in six years, who is counting anyway?

“What?” I asked then cleared my throat, fixing my posture "What was the question?"

“Did you bring a date to the party?” he asked

“Sorry I was unable to knock up someone and have her gracefully by my side” I slurred, the fuzzy feeling kicking in. “You know I’m pretty gay for s**t like that”

oh my god, did that just come out my mouth?

“Kyung Min” So Ra called 

“It’s okay” I smiled “Enjoy your evening talking about married and successful people s**t. This police officer is out” I grabbed the body of whiskey and walked out of there. More like stumbled out of there as my leg was not listening to my brain and I just couldn’t walk straight

I don’t think I’m drunk but I have to me for me to be able to say such things to Seung Gi, I never intended to let my thoughts out so loudly.

I thought I had a better grasp of the situation, I was to act normal and act like him being there with Rosaline didn't affect me much

I had one job and that was to pretend that I was okay with seeing them together so why

why did I say such?

God, I am such a mess

A not so drunk mess

I mean I do feel a little fuzzy and the room feels like it was spinning around but I’m asides that I am just flushed with alcohol and embarrassment. So I pushed the door opened and walked out, just walking with no destination in mind and I didn't walk very far until my legs could take it anymore. I collapse on the floor but save guarded the bottle of whiskey my hand had stolen on the way out

There I was on the floor, why a bottle of whiskey by my side and embarrassment so thick in the atmosphere that the words I said kept on playing in my head

I'm too gay for this shit

I am gay

A proud gay 

A proud gay who is still in love with his high school love  

A proud pathetic gay man

I laughed

I laughed out loud and hard, laughing like a guy who has lost his mind, or maybe I really have lost my mind. Before coming to this high school reunion I thought that I was completely over Lee Seung Gi and would not be phased no matter what would happen, I was so sure that even seeing him with another person wouldn’t kill me, I was so sure that I would get through this night and go back home a fulfilled man but here I was lying on the floor like a mad man with a heartache

“I am such an i***t. There is no bigger fool than me” I cursed

Both me as Choi Hyun Soo and Kyung Min were idiots who couldn’t get over one boy. Knowing how we will never end up together even if we had tried a little harder, the universe hates us and she has every reason too

I mean his dad had a hand in the murder of my birth mom but here I was crying over the son of the person who might as well have killed my birth mom. She probably is ashamed of me in heaven

I opened my eyes and stared at the night sky, 

She probably hates me, my birth mom must be embarrassed that I am her son.

there are seven billion people in the world and approximately a 3,8million are men but I was too hooked up, too in love with the one whose father was in prison for the death of my birth mom

I am ashamed of myself

I shouldn’t be here doing this but I just couldn’t help it so instead, I threw my head backward taking in as much whiskey as I could with my eyes shut tightly holding my breath as the alcohol goes into my body intending to finish the whole bottle, maybe it would help with the sting pain right here in my chest, maybe it would be able to numb the reopened wounds and for tonight I want to be so drunk I won’t be able to feel a thing 

A hand grabs the alcohol away from my mouth as I gasp for air, coughing up for some second before looking up to the person who stood tall, hovering over me while I sat on the floor

“What are you trying to do?” Lee Seung Gi yells immediately my eyes meet his

“Give it back” I stretched my hands. Why was he here?

“Are you trying to get yourself killed? Is that what you’re trying to do?”

“Whether I kill myself or not it’s none of your business, I can take care of myself just fine. I’ve been doing that perfectly for the past six years so give that back!” I rambled, shocked that I can form sensible sentences even at this state.

I tried to stand up even with the slight unsteadiness on my feet but Lee Seung Gi held me, I slapped his hands so fast glaring at him “I can do it myself I don’t need your help”

“You’re drunk Hyun Soo”

Kyung Min

I want to correct him that my name was now Kyung Min and not Hyun Soo, I went through a whole breakdown choosing either to keep the name the murderer who raised me had given to me or changing it to my birth name although everyone already knew me with my first name and all my certificate had Hyun Soo in it. it was a long and stressful process but I did choose to change my name to Joo Kyung Min. since bearing the name Choi Hyun Soo felt like a disgrace and an insult to my birth mother, how can I take keep such an evil name?. I wanted to get rid of everything Park Ji Soo, my fake mom gave me and it has been so long since I heard anyone call me that name so why does it feel good hearing him call me a name I hated so much?

“Shut up” I turned to him, refusing to fall for something as little as that “Don’t call my name”

“Fine, I won't" he sighs " but you are way too drunk to still be drinking”

“I told you. I can take care of myself and if I need help I'll call Min So Ra” I said grabbing my cell phone from my pocket only to realize that the screen is cracked. “f**k” it must have cracked when I fell, I just bought it what the hell! 

Calm down Kyung Min let’s type in the password

I tried typing the password to unlock my phone but it seems like the letters are moving, why aren’t they staying in one place so I can press them for god sake, and unlock this damned phone? Do the letters also think I am a joke and also need help?

I can do it myself if it just stays in one place

Seung Gi grabs my phone from me “I’ll drive you home. Where do you stay?”

“None of your business! Give me back my phone”

“Not until you tell me where to drop you”

“You’re so nosy. Won’t your wife be vexed that you followed your ex? I mean the party hasn’t even started and she’s very pregnant you can’t just leave her” I rolled my eyes giving up on taking back my phone 

“Wife?”

“Don’t play dumb I already heard the news, you and Rosaline are getting married soon”

He scoffs not replying to me but instead, he keeps the bottle of whiskey down on the floor and tucked my phone into his pocket “Tell me where you stay or I’m driving you to the hotel I stay at”

He's not denying it

He's not denying Rosaline

“So Ra will take me,” I said stretching my hand gesturing he hands me my cellphone

“She seems to be having a lot of fun, let’s not ruin it for her, shall we?” he said walking closer to me. i froze at how close he was and my toes curled up in my shoes. He stopped just right in front of me, smirked then the next thing i knew, he was carrying me in his arms

“Let me go” I yelled 

“No”

I should struggle to get off his hands, I should yell, scream, kick and even bite if I have to, just to get out but why do I lay my head on his chest even as I demanded he let me go? 

"You smell nice" his cologne hugs me and I moved in closer, I could feel his chest rise up and down even as he chuckled. 

"That's so random," he said

 I don’t know how long he walked for, my head is spinning too fast to keep up with anything right now and the only thing that I know was he placed me in the passenger’s seat and did my seat belt. The car smells like Rosaline

It had the very alluring scent of that woman and I was just too drunk to fight my way out of this car, maybe if I slept for a while and woke up I will be less buzzed and have enough energy to fight my way out but I just felt too weak to even move

“Hyun Soo, where do you stay?” I hear Seung Gi asked as he got into the car

‘Ulsan’ I think I said, not sure he heard me but too weak to repeat myself

“Hyun Soo” he calls again “Fine you’re coming with me then,” he said and I heard the engine of the car roar to life

Author's note Hi Prides, finally we have started book two, I am so grateful to everyone who waited till now for the release and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would be uploading a chapter once every week (Every Sundays)for a while, while I try to wrap up my other books. please do make sure to comment on what you think about this chapter y'all know I hate ghost readers and I love interacting with you guys. Anyways please send a lot of love to the book and take care of your health till the next time I upload a new chapter.

 Love you, sincerely Lipstick pride