Secrets and Truth

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I wake up with a gasp 

My headache is mixed with confusion; I placed a hand over my head shutting my eyes after opening them for a split second. The light is too bright, too blinding to open my eyes for a long time so instead, I rest on my bed, with my hands over my face as I let the headache get a bit better before stand up. I feel sore all over

My mind begins to randomly wander about and a particular sight makes me pause. 

The ceiling

For the spilled seconds my eyes were opened I caught a glimpse of the ceiling, it looked beautiful, but then I remember one thing I saw-

A chandelier

Was that a chandelier?

It was a big beautiful, sparkling and full of lights chandelier, when did I get a chandelier in my room.

Wait a damn minute; I don’t have a chandelier in my bedroom

My eyes fly open and I really take in what was really in front of me. Indeed there was a chandelier right above my head and that wasn’t the only different thing. My room doesn’t look like my room, the window is on the wrong side and the interior was just off. Dad would never change my room décor without letting me know first so this wasn’t my room. 

Where in the world am I? I try to stand up from the bed but was stopped as a hand wrapped around my torso, pulling me closer securing me from moving. My heart start to race and flashes sped across my eyes

Oh my god

Please don’t be who I think it is

I held my breath as if, if I breathe too loud the person behind me, who had his hands around me as his and his nose breathing into the crook of my neck would wake up. I felt my toe curl as I slowly turned around while praying  

“Please don’t be who I think –“ I whispered, turning around and I saw his face. 

Lee Seung Gi was sleeping peacefully next to me with his hands locked around my waist

My eyes widen, doubles in fact to the size of my embarrassment

Why is Seung Gi sleeping next to me? 

I bite down my lip so I don’t scream. The last thing I wanted is to wake him up and just make the whole thing worse. Oh my god what of Rosaline walks upon us, what have I done?

I take his hands off my body as gently as I could, without waking him, slowly standing up from the bed just to find out that I was butt naked, my eyes notices the set of clothes stretched out on the floor and lands to my underwear at the far corner of the room

Did I – 

Did we – 

No way! 

I stood there naked, covered with shame and the sunshine that found its way from the curtain. What did I do? What the f**k did I do? What happened? Why can’t I remember a thing?

I tiptoed a quietly as I could, first grabbing my shirt and throwing it without even bothering to do the buttons before grabbing my underwear then pants. I need to get out of here, what was I thinking, having s*x with him? He’s about to get married, his fiancé is pregnant and I just did this with him

I’m disgusted with myself

I grabbed my wallet and head for the door

My mind is blank and my memory fuzzy. I only remember him picking me up and taking me to his car, why can’t I remember the rest

Maybe it’s a good thing

He’s going to travel back to Australia soon and all of this won’t even matter. People have one-night stands all the time. it means nothing 

Even though it’s with my ex who I never really got over, it means nothing

It should mean nothing 

Fuck!

I’m not seeing him again, I just need to get out of here fast and rearrange my thoughts later. I run down the aisle of the hotel room till I see an elevator, pressing the button before wearing my clothes properly with one thought in my head

Okay maybe two thoughts

I fvcked up and where the hell am I?

I manage to wear my shoes properly before the elevator stops, opening up for me to seeing a bunch of people in it; they looked at me with such judgment in their gaze like they knew what I just did. I held my breath squeezing myself inside although the last thing I wanted to do was be caught up in a closed space with strangers

It felt like hours till the elevator stops at the ground floor and like the strangers, I rushed out to the elevator leading to a big reception.

I walked out of the elevator into the reception, rushing towards the exit. I walked out of the building to find, standing for a second looking back to the tall hotel and getting the sight of its name. "DS HOTEL"

I've been here before in my teens and when my dad Min Gi tried to set me up with his business partner's daughter for the progress of "business" that was before I even met Seung Gi. The plan fell through of course. Speaking of my dad he must be worried sick 

I told him I was going to sleepover at his place; I didn't think I would end up in Seung Gi's bed

I screamed

My fingers pulling my hair, my knees too weak to hold me as I fell to the ground. The realization sets in way too quickly. I had s*x with him

I hate s*x with Lee f*****g Seung Gi

“Is he okay?”

“Drunk this early in the morning?”

People gossiped as they walked past me. 

I don’t blame them. I look like a train wreck and felt worse, I’m so sore, I don’t think I’ll be able to sit down for a while and my head is spinning around. I’m dehydrated from the hangover and maybe I want to shoot myself in the head

A taxi rolled up in front of me like a saving grace so I opened the door and sat in it. Sitting is uncomfortable, I groan turning to find a more comfortable side while cursing Seung Gi.

How many did we do it? How hard did he –

Oh my God! 

I slapped myself “Stop thinking about it! You can barely recall any details just stop”

“Uhm Sir” I looked up at the driver. He looks scared, he must think I’m crazy too “Are you okay?

I smiled “Well I don’t feel good” I proceeded to give the driver my dad Min Gi’s new house address as I lean into the chair taking a deep breath. It was way too uncomfortable to sit down and I haven’t felt this way since-

Well since forever if I’m being honest.

I watched as the driver drives away from the hotel and I feel like I could finally breathe knowing that there was no way I will be seeing Seung Gi ever again and that whatever we did last night was nothing.

Nothing more than a stupid drunken mistake 

I can't believe I let myself even be in that position with him. He seemed happy with Rosaline when I saw them together and although I hate it down to my bone I shouldn't have done what I did with him 

The only comfort is knowing that he's going back to Australia and I hope he forgets about me 

OK maybe not forget about me but just think about me less 

I groan, frustrated. 

Leaning my head to the window and memories of Lee Seung Gi and Rosaline in the party kept playing over and over again in my head. She must give him butterflies, he's probably happier with her than he was with me. I'm selfish, I should have thought of his happiness first and even the fact that we couldn't be together. Not with what his dad did to my mother, even if I was to say it didn't matter and I still wanted to be with him. What about my birth dad? What about my siblings? What about my mom whose life was cut short? 

We can't be together, Seung Gi and I 

Not in this lifetime, there are just so many people who would be hurt and disappointed by our relationship and I know this. I've known this since the day I found out about his father's involvement and even when I broke things with him I didn't let him go, I still had that hope at the back of my mind, I should have left him to go entirely and this would have been avoided 

I should let him go. 

I should let him be happy and let myself be happy 

So I close my eyes taking one deep breath, telling myself that this was it.

This was the end of us 

All things come to an end. There is a beginning, a turning point, then the end. This is the end.

This is the end for us

*****

"Look who finally decided to show up" So Ra said with a mouth filled with toasted bread. She turned in my direction, with a sly smile that made her eyes disappear. 

My dad Min Gi, stood at the opposite side of the dining table where she sat, he has a welcoming smile as he waved to me as I walked into the new house 

I shouldn’t say new house, it’s been over five years since he bought this house, he said he just couldn’t stay in the old house where we once lived. I understand him to be honest, if her now in prison and me living hours away from Seoul, the house would have been nothing but a reminder of the lie of a marriage and how the foundation of our family was laid on the lies of that woman.

Dad proceeded to buy a new house soon after selling the old ones and now lives with grandmother in this new house. Though he complains about how he prefers to live alone with his mother I think he likes living with her more than he would let himself admit especially now that he has a sort of fear for marriages and commitment, do I blame him?

His first wife was a psychopathic, calculative liar and a cold-blooded killer; it would be strange if he jumped into another relationship after ending the twenty years old relationship with her

Dad seems happier now, he goes out a lot more than he did in the first few years and smiles better now. More sincerely 

“You’re here,” Dad said with a smile

"Hi" I replied shyly, taking myself to the dining table area, getting a seat "I'm so sorry I didn't come home yesterday. There was an - issue"

"It is okay, So Ra told me all about it," he said placing a plate of toast bread in front of me a cup of coffee.

I turned to So Ra who was smiling mischievously. What did she tell him?

"What about grandma?" I asked 

"She's out playing golf" 

"She went without you?"

"I was on my way out when So Ra came in, so I sent her off first. Now you're here I should go before she starts calling"

I stood up "I'm going back to Uslan today" my voice quiet 

"Oh"

"I know I promised to spend some time with you and grandma but I have work tomorrow. I should have come earlier i-"

"it's okay" he laughs, placing a hand on my shoulder pulling me closer to him. "There’s always a next time. You know where to keep the key and please shower before you go. You smell like s*x"

"Dad!" My eyes widen. He laughs walking away.

I sniffed my clothes. Do I really smell like I drunk smash and can't even remember it?

"Spill the details now" So Ra said as soon as dad was out of sight. I grabbed the bread 

"There’s nothing to spill," I said taking a bite of the bread 

"You disappeared with Seung Gi. Ignoring all my calls -" 

Shit, my phone. 

I searched for my phone in all the existing pockets but I couldn’t find it "You came back looking like you had the best night of your life” So Ra smirked. Oh my god, did I forget my phone over at his place? “So spill. Did you two really do what I think?"

"God no" I lied. She stared at me pouting like she didn't believe a single word from my mouth "fine" I gave up "I think we had s*x"

"Hold up '" she dust the crumble of bread off her hands then Sat up like she wanted to be able to pay closer attention to what in just said "You think?"

"I got so drunk. I can't remember what actually happened. I woke up butt naked in his bed with him sleeping by my side "my chest heavy."I can't believe I did that I feel so ashamed of myself. Rosaline would have my balls if she finds out"

"Why would she care?" She scoffs grabbing my untouched toast 

"What do you mean? She's literally engaged to him"

"What? No" she laughs "I get why you'd think like that, they walked in hand in hand yesterday but I promise you that's not the case" she assures. I'm surprised you two stayed a whole night and didn't talk about this. Well I guess there wasn't a lot of talking" she wiggled her eyebrow

"Shut up" I rolled my eyes" but who is the father to her child? Who could possibly be her fiancé?"

"Do min woo" that forbidden name drops out of here lips causing my eyes to grow to double their size 

"Do Min Woo? You mean the bully Do Min Woo, Rosaline hates more than me and threatens to kill him once, that Do Min Woo? There's no way"

Memories of all the fights Do Min Woo and I use to have are as fresh as ever, I hated him, he bullied Seung Gi, he hurt So Ra, and Rosaline used to be so forward about how much she hated him so how? I can't even imagine it 

"Yep, my exact reaction. I couldn't believe it when she said she was getting married to the twin Do Min Woo who in high school she hated. He came right after you and Seung Gi left. I wished you stayed longer to see the show. Rosaline and Min Woo were making up practically everywhere" she gagged on her words

I'm not the father

Seung Gi’s voice came like a breeze, sending chills down my spin

He did tell me

He told me that he wasn’t the father and I wondered why he did it, it’s not he was going to stay, it’s not like we could be together. 

"My ex is getting married to Rosaline" So Ra laughed 

"You guys dated for like a day or so" I laughed. There's a relief in my laughter and my chest felt less tight than it once did.

"So?"

"You're dating my brother So Ra, you shouldn't worry about your ex, it's been over ages ago"

she grabs a bread and turns to me, squirting her eyes "Are you saying that about me or yourself?"

"I have no idea what you're saying" I replied quickly

"Really?"

"Lee Seung Gi and I was a mistake, it's not like we are going to be seeing each other anyways" I shrugged "I mean I have Tae Yong you know, he's nice and cares a lot about me and the most important thing, his dad didn't kill my mom"

So Ra doesn't say anything she just nods after me but her eyes were saying a lot. I could tell

"Don't" I warned

"I didn't say anything"

"I'm finally moving on from him and what we just were a setback but it doesn't mean I want to go to him so don't look at me like you're asking me to"

"Kyung Min" she calls me by my new name "I'm always on your side no matter what. I just want you to know that"

I sighed and nodded "I do"

She smiles "So, Tae Yong uh? You like him?"

I rolled my eyes "I'm going to take my bathe" I replied laughing