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Unexpected News

“Mom, please no. No more, please.” My quivering voice filled the dark room. All I could hear was my voice and my whimper.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.

Somebody please help me. I can’t breathe. I kept knocking at the door but mom must have gone out again. The room was so dark. I felt suffocated.

“Mom.” I whimpered, tears filled my cheeks. My chest was unable to breathe more air. Thick but cold sweat filled my body. I felt my eyes closing. Oh God…

Please somebody open the door…

I suddenly jolt awake. Damn. I was covered with sweat. There was also tear stain on my cheeks. My heart was beating fast and my head pounded. I tried to breathe for more air, my chest heaving.

That nightmare again. After all this years that dream kept on haunting me. I looked at my surrounding, I was still in my room, the sky still dark with stars twinkling, and I realized it was really just a nightmare.

I ran my hands to my face and sighed loudly, then I glanced at the clock on the bedside table.

2:45.

It’s still early. I jumped out of the bed and headed straight to the kitchen counter. I grabbed a glass and went to the fridge. The cool air from it made me shiver and thankfully my sweat dried out and my breathing normal again. I poured my glass with a non-fat skim milk, then gulped it. The taste of the milk made me feel better. I sighed and went back to my bed again.

This was not the first time that I had that nightmare. The same scene ran through my head like a movie stocked in replay. Gladly it was not like my other dreams before. My other nightmares weakened me throughout the day.

That dream really happened to me when I was 14. My mom went really furious about me because I wasn’t included in the scholarship program of my school. Then, like she always did, she locked me up inside a room, which was under the stairs. That wasn’t the first time that she did that to me. She did the same torture to me a lot of times whenever I wasn’t able to meet her expectations. But in that moment, I felt really scared. She didn’t open the light, and I felt more afraid . Normally, she kept me inside for 20 minutes, but that time, she left me locked up for two hours. It felt like hell inside. It was so hot. I couldn’t even breathe normal. Then the creepiness ate me. I felt suffocated. I felt stuffed. I started banging the door with my fist and pleaded Mom, but there was no response. Then I cried.

After that happening in my life, I became claustrophobic. And it was my Mom’s fault.

I lay my body on the bed, with my chest facing he mattress. Suddenly, tears rolled from my eyes because of the memories that deeply hurt me emotionally. Why did she have to do that to me? What have I done wrong? She abused me so many times as I can remember. She yelled at me, cursed me, and said things that damaged me. She also slapped me hard that made my lips swollen for a week. I never had someone who would rescue me. I don’t have a father. My mom never said anything about him and I was too afraid to ask. I cringe in the memories.

Did she loved me, even once, as her only daughter?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My mouse brown hair in its natural curl, my skin pale, as usual, my lips tainted with a slightly colored lip balm. Well, everything’s good about my face except my eyes. They were swollen as hell form crying last night. Ugh.

I checked my outfit. It’s one of my most not-so-cheap dress that I bought last week in the Wall Mart. My beige knee-length dress hugs my waist perfectly and its skirt sways gracefully as I moved. I think I’m cool with this dress.

Apparently, I need to dress perfectly as I could, because I feel something’s happening today. Bryan, my boyfriend for three years asked me to meet him at Cal Anderson Park, the same place where we first met.

What’s was he planning? Gee I’m so excited! I bit my lip in the thought that runs in my mind. He asked me yesterday to meet him and he sounded really serious. Could it be…? Oh. God. Is this really it? Oh, Bryan Leigh. My cheeks suddenly blushed of the thought. My lips curve into a sweet smile, my eyes twinkling. I wanted to see him right away.

I pulled my old Chevy near the bridge. The November noon air blew and I shivered. I hugged my jacket tighter to my body. Despite of the cold, I felt my cheeks become hot. I feel so excited! Crap.

I keep searching for Bryan, but I don’t even see someone familiar. Maybe he’s got surprise for me. I head straight to the bench beside the bridge. I feel my legs become Jell-O. What the hell. I can’t even take my stupid smile off my face. Dammit!

I kept looking, oh! There he was! He was seating at the same bench, but looks odd. Was he excited, nervous too? I quicken my steps then he noticed me approaching.

I gave him the best smile that I could do− with teeth showing. “Hey.” I said sweetly. He smiled too, but something wason his eyes. I dropped the thought. He’s here. For me.

“Ron.” He said, his smile not reaching his eyes. He did not look me in the eyes. Odd.

I hugged him but I felt him stiffen. I looked him in the eyes and tried to read his face. Nothing. I wonder what’s bothering him, was he in pain or something?

“Bryan, are you okay?” I asked, my voice low and comforting but he didn’t reply. Instead, he urged me to sit and I faced him, but he looked away. I could feel his tension even in our distance. I reached for his hand but he turned it into a fist, then I heard him sigh.

Something’s really wrong here. The wind blew once more and I shivered, but Bryan kept his face unreadable.

“I’m sorry Ron.” He muttered suddenly. Sorry for what?

I kept my expression calm and normal, but I managed to smile. “What for? You haven’t done anything wrong, have you?” I tried to enlighten our mood and make him look at me but he won’t. I started to feel a little nervous and uneasy. He lowered his gaze, his face still hard and cold like the wind.

What’s happening?