Beyond The Square One (BTSO2)

S q u a r e T w e n t y - S e v e n ( H E )

I feel something warm gripping my arm but I'm too lazy to open my eyes. My head feels heavy, too. Jesus, what in the world happened to me?

That warm something touches my hand, too. With such struggle, I manage to open my eyes and a blinding white surrounding welcomes me with a sharp strike.

With hoarse voice, I finally ask, "Where the hell am I?"

There's another movement. When my vision adjusts to the surrounding, I see Jace's worried face and he has a glass of water in his hands, walking towards me. "How do you feel?"

I look behind Jace and Cash is standing as he leans on the wall next to the window, staring at me. And there's that familiar girl beside him... Naomi.

That's when it finally come to my realization. I'm in the hospital. A brief flashback of what previously happened appears in my head...

Naomi's wedding announcement.

Her decision.

The fistfight with the strangers in the bar.

Walking across the railway in Magsaysay.

I dare to meet her gaze and I know she's worried. It shouldn't be like this, she's not supposed to see me at my weakest. And I'm not supposed to be alive, either. Even now, her words reverberate through my head...

"We can't be together again anymore. We can't be seen. Kailangan kong gawin 'to, Jim. Kami talaga ang pinagkasundo ng mga parents natin," she said the night before.

I feel my heart aching at the thought but something feels weird at the moment that it catches my attention. A stranger is holding my hand.

Instinctively, I snatch my arm away and I'm honestly surprised that nothing is physically painful except for my head and chest. Didn't I just cross over a moving train? How long have I been out, anyway?

And then I remember how a stupid stranger jumped right at me on my very attempt. That's when it hit me, I was shoved off of that damned railway so the train didn't actually hit me, but I remember hitting the ground hard when we fell. And when I finally have the guts to look at who's holding my hand, my eyes bewilder seeing the same stranger who jumped right at me...

"Ikaw?!" I yell at her.

They are all shocked, more than I am. But I immediately notice how her almond eyes water with tears in an instant as they bore into mine.

"James, what's wrong?" tanong ni Cash.

"What's wrong?" I repeat in disbelief. "Why is this heavy-weight monster in here? What's wrong with you, people?" I ask back.

"Eric, anong nangyayari sa'yo?" the stranger asks with weary eyes.

My eyes bulge even more. "Do you even hear yourself? How did you fvcking know my name? Who gave you the freaking right to call me with that name?" I look at Cash. "What's going on?"

"James, calm down... James," Jace is saying a lot more things, touching my shoulders.

I become sensitive all of a sudden that I hit his nose with my fist. "Stay away from me, you faggot."

"James!" Naomi squeals.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Cash asks as if interrogating me, walking closer.

After helping Jace up, Naomi stands on the stranger's side, stroking her back like they've known each other for a very long time. What in the world is going on? Am I dreaming? Why do I find this eerily creepy?

"Okay ka lang ba, Fishy?" Naomi asks her with worried eyes.

Fishy? That's her stupid name?

Her eyes are just focused on me as endless flow of tears are streaming from them down her cheeks. Instead of feeling conscious, I honestly find it annoying.

"What the hell are you staring at?" I ask her. Looking around, I ask once more. "What the fvck is going on here? Why is everyone so damned weird?"

"I have an ICU emergency. Bring me an Emergency Sedative. Tell Dr. Castillo my practice patient is awake," Cash says over what looks like a speaker attached on top of the headboard.

After the stranger hurriedly runs away out of the room, a doctor comes bursting in with a lady nurse after him.

"What's going on?" he asks Cash.

Cash says something to the doctor na hindi ko marinig. What I know is, they're talking about me and now I'm really moved about what's going on.

"James, can you tell me how you feel right now?" the doctor asks.

"I don't know. Really. I'm confused. What the hell is going on?" I ask for the millionth time.

"Calm do-"

"I can't! Don't fvcking tell me to calm down because that's the last on the list of what I can do at the moment. Now tell me what the fvck is going on or I'll jump off of tha-"

Cutting the doctor off is not a very bright idea, I guess. In a snap, he has his nurse drugging me through a sharp syringe on my forearm and everything around turns black.

I don't know how long have passed but when I open my eyes again, it's pretty dark around the room. Something warm moves beside me again and it's like a déjà vu of what happened earlier. With a more composed stance, I immediately look on my right to see the same stranger lying her head beside me on my bed.

Perhaps she notices, too, that I moved so she wakes up, rubbing her eyes. She stares at me for a moment and her expression's guarded. For an impulsive person that I think she is, she's pretty good at remaining impassive. "Don't freak out," she warns, standing up.

I just keep my eyes on her as she presses the buzzer on top of my headboard. She's wearing different clothes now, more casual than what she was wearing the last time I woke up. This is so freaking weird. How many times do I have to wake up to her? Why is she the only one with a cast?

Seconds pass by and Cash is back with a different doctor but with the same nurse. They turn the lights on and walk towards my bed. I recognize immediately, it's Armand, a family friend. Now where's that annoying girl?

WAIT. WHY THE HELL AM I EVEN LOOKING FOR HER?

"How do you feel now, James?"

"Armand, what the hell is going on? Physically, I'm okay. But my situation is such a pain in the ass, I don't understand what's happening," I say in all honesty.

"What do you remember happening before you woke up to this hospital room? What was the last thing you were doing?"

"I don't know, man. You tell me. I was somewhere in Magsaysay, I think. And the next thing I knew, I was being surrounded by Cash, Naomi, and Jace. And I was being held by this stranger beside me. I recognize her, of course. She was the one who jumped right at me. But trust me when I say I've never seen her before. Why was she touching my hand like she knows me? Why is Cash giving orders to the nurses here, he's not even finished in med school yet? And why is Naomi and Jace so close now? What the fvck did I miss?"

Armand and Cash glance at each other like they're exchanging a mental conversation. Why is Cash looking so wasted? Whatever happened to him?

"James, are you sure you don't remember anything else? Like being engaged or something?" Cash asks.

"Being... what? Are you out of your mind? If Naomi's marriage to Jace was successful the other day, that means I'm not gonna be engaged with anyone anytime soon," I answer. Where is this silly idea even coming from?

"'The other day'?" Cash repeats, as if disbelieving.

I just roll my eyes at him in response.

"You have a lot to tell your brother. We'll give him until tomorrow to fully recover and we'll ask him then. Let's see what we'll come up with," Armand says to Cash.

I'm so tempted to say, Hello? I'm right here. But deciding againts it, I ask rather, "What should you be coming up with?"

Armand looks at me. "We need to run some tests before we tell you any result, James. But now, I want you to listen to whatever Cash is going to tell you. He's a practicing doctor here and you have to trust him." He turns to Cash. "Tell him what he needs to know."

With a nod from Cash, Armand leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Turn off the lights. I'll get back to sleep," I say.

"Okay, papatayin ko 'yung ilaw pero 'wag ka munang matulog dahil may kailangan pa akong sabihin."

"You don't tell what to do, Jack Ervin. I'm your older brother."

"And you're also left to be my responsibility. Now listen..." Turning off the lights, he walks back to the bed and sits on a chair beside me. The chair where I found the stranger sleeping earlier. "You're missing almost a year of your memory. At dahil hindi naman ako araw-araw sa tabi mo, I can only tell you the most important highlights of what happened in that year. That is, if you think I should tell you about it or you want to remember them yourself to avoid confusion."

I'm speechless. Caught off-guard, if you may. Because I'm honestly not expecting to hear that.

"You have to go on with your life, James. And you have two choices on how you're about to go. One, by believing our story about your life so you don't have to explain to everyone else about what happened. Two, by finding them out, one by one, and letting everyone know that you're missing that part so they can adjust to what you can only remember."

I'm still as quiet. Really, what do you say to someone who's telling you that you're missing out a year of your life in your head?

"James?"

"Tell me about those highlights," I snap.

He breathes in deeply. "Una, naka-move on ka na kay ate Yomi." He pauses, as if waiting for my reaction, and continues when I don't give him one. "Pangalawa, engaged ka na. And everything has been okay since you met that girl."

He continues on with every little detail that he knows about me. I'm just trying to take everything in when it's actually a little too hard to believe that I've moved on from Naomi. The thought never even crossed my mind.

So to speak, I'm forcing myself to accept the fact that I'm engaged to someone named Princess Ariel Inoue. And what a silly coincidence, I thought. Does it really have to be matched with my name, Eric? The Little Mermaid, I mean.

Also, Cash informs me that I made this woman the CEO of the mortgage. I wonder how I'll ever wrap my head around the idea of trusting a female specie to handle such a great responsibility. I have to find it out myself tomorrow.

It's been too difficult believing that I'm missing a span of time in my head. But I guess there are just things that time and fate would want you to forget.

"Good morning!"

I grumble my morning curses as faint rays of sunshine hit my face from the hospital window and a familiar voice waking me up.

"Gising na."

When I open my eyes, I see the same stranger beside me with a wide smile. She's holding two to-go cups of coffee in her hand, handing me one.

"You again?" I complain, brushing off my face with my palms in exasperation.

"Yes. Ako ulit. Wake up, Eric. It's six in the morning. Lalabas ka na daw ngayon after a session with the doctor. For now, enjoy a nice cup of coffee and we'll take a short walk outside," she says excitedly.

The thought of catching countless dusts outside the hospital gives me off. "Why would I want to take a walk? And why would I want to have anything to do with you?"

She smiles even wider. "Because you love me."

I almost p**e, hearing her words. "Excuse me? Do you even hear yourself? You disgust me, stranger. And please, I don't even drink coffee."

She places the cups on the bedside table. Squaring her shoulders, she narrows her eyes at me. "Hoy impakto, ikaw ang nagka-amnesia. Hindi ako. Kaya 'wag mo 'kong pinaiiralan ng kasungitan mo dahil alam nating pareho na favorite mo 'yang caramel macchiato ng Tiffany's."

HOLY s**t. "What did you just call me?"

"Mag-kape ka na. Baka lumamig pa 'yan. At bawal 'yan sa'yo sabi ng doktor pero alam ko namang droga mo 'yan kaya pinag-puslit kita ng isa. Matuwa ka na lang," she says instead, grabbing one of the cups and handing it to me.

Aside from caramel macchiato being my favorite daily dose, I feel too lazy to argue so I just take the coffee from her. Our hands lightly brush against each other and it's odd how it feels familiar.

"Walang lason 'yan. Medyo madaliin mo kasi baka mahuli tayo ng doktor mo o ni Cash."

A small spark of excitement rises in my chest. I feel like a little kid with a quest of stealing a cookie in my mother's cookie jar. At least the same excitement is there.

After the short coffee break, despite not being able to enjoy my cup because we're afraid to get caught, I still feel better than yesterday. It's odd how I don't seem to dwell too much on my heartbreak after Naomi, but I'm glad, anyway.

"Who are you?" I ask the stranger.

She smirks. "Uy, interesado," she teases.

I roll my eyes at her. I can't believe she has the guts to do that stupid thing to me, poking my cheek with her index finger. "Stop that," I complain.

And she thankfully stops, but still with that annoying smirk on.

"Why are you wearing an office attire?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Mahigpit kasi 'yung boss ko. Ayaw sa mga mukhang basahan. Sobrang arte no'n, e."

"Your boss must hate you for saying that," I snap.

"Oh believe me, Eric. My boss loves me," she says in a dreamy voice.

I gape at her. What the hell is wrong with this creature?

"Uhm..." she checks on her wristwatch and looks back at me. "I would love to stay longer but I still have work to do. Balik ako mamayang hapon, ha?"

"Why do you even have to be here? You're practically a stranger," I say.

"Because I want to."

"Well, I don't. So get out of here."

For a split second, I see a flash of hurt in her eyes but it disappears as soon as it shows. She leans in closer to my face, staring at my lips. And for some damned reasons, I can't move away. I can't protest. The faint smell of Vanilla is way too familiar for my senses that I almost choke.

"Hindi man ako maalala niyang sira mong ulo, sigurado naman akong nandiyan lang ako sa puso mo. At kapag naalala mo na ang lahat, I'll be waiting," she says in a low voice.

My lips part to say something but when no voice comes out, I close it again. That's when I shudder feeling a chaste kiss from the stranger which brings a lot of familiar feelings.

I grope my chest to check the beating of my heart. For real, it's racing. I watch as she walks out of the hospital room, no more cast, stopping by the door to leave me a meaningful smirk, and closes it behind her as she leaves.

What the hell is going on?