Confessions

Chapter One-1

Chapter One

“Syd, if I don't take this vacation I'm going to go nuts, I swear!” Brooke Daniels slumped into the tan tweed chair in front of her best friend and business partner's desk.

“You can't be serious? We're busy as hell and you know it.” Sydney held an upturned hand to the small yet bustling company around her. Though nothing could be seen from inside the office, Brooke could hear the background activity of people talking, phones ringing, and machines copying and printing. Pride swelled in her knowing the place nearly ran itself. They'd worked their asses off and it showed.

Brooke leaned forward and said, “Jack can help out while I'm gone.”

“What does my brother know about lingerie and customer service? He's a photographer for cripes sake!” Sydney threw her hands up then slid the ever-present elastic band off her wrist and put her burgundy-from-a-bottle hair in a tight bun.

“Syd, things are good. In fact, they're great. When are you going to relax and enjoy life?”

The centuries-old White Oak, Maryland, townhouse had been turned into offices decades ago. They rented the entire second floor. Brooke's office had once been the guest bedroom of, what she was certain was once, a jaw-dropping gorgeous home. Syd had chosen the long-ago master bedroom since it was bigger and gave her more room to do what she was doing now: pacing and worrying.

“We just added the new Sugar Lace line and it's selling like crazy.” Syd reached for some papers on her desk, looked over the information and said, “In fact, the Crimson Crush teddy sells out as fast as we get it in stock.”

“That's good, isn't it?” Brooke studied her friend's face, knowing she tended to freak out when things weren't running on her strict and stable schedule. Hell, maybe Syd should be the one taking this vacation. But, Brooke really needed to get away. Her three-year relationship had gone to hell months ago and being around sexy lingerie all day long just reminded her of her own empty love life. She needed to get away, recuperate, do some soul searching, and find out who she really was.

Brooke stood up and said more firmly, “Sure, Jack's our photographer—a job he adores and brags about quite often—but why can't he answer phones and take orders while I'm gone? If need be, hire a temp to help as well. We can afford it. I can still do some designs and email them to you.”

“That's not the point.” Syd stopped pacing and stood in front of Brooke, hands planted on her slim hips and a hard look in her dark brown eyes. Her pink blouse and lacy skirt seemed so fun and flirty, yet her friend’s personality was totally opposite. Tall and slender and harsh at times, Sydney Welsh wore an invisible suit of armor that kept everyone at bay, especially men.

“I think I've found my mother,” Brooke finally whispered, wiping her palms on the thighs of her linen slacks, suddenly feeling nervous yet excited. She hadn't wanted to tell Syd until she knew for sure, but she needed her to know how important this trip was.

Now that her thirtieth birthday had come and gone, she had an insistent yearning to find the woman she'd never known. What did she look like? Did she have her gray eyes and wavy, coffee-colored hair? Her big feet and bigger hips? Did she have siblings? And ... why did she give her away? A pang of old hurt spread throughout her chest, but she pushed it away. She had no idea what she would discover on this trip, she just knew it was necessary.

Syd looked at her, wide-eyed. “You've got to be kidding?”

Shaking her head, Brooke dragged a shaky hand through her hair. “It took some doing since it seems she's a hermit, but the last known address for her was in Iowa.”

“Couldn't you call first?”

“The number’s been disconnected.”

“What about one of those people finder websites?”

Brooke sighed, feeling impatient. “Don’t you think I tried that?”

Syd’s face lit up with disbelief. “You’re just going to wander around a state you’ve never been to and hope you run into her?”

Waving her off, Brooke said, “I’m not that stupid. I have some good leads, just not the precise place she’s at now.”

“What if she’s moved?”

“Ugh! I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, okay? I’ll ask around. Wild Rose isn’t all that big, and I have a general idea of where she’s at. From what I found out she’s been there for the past twenty years so I doubt she’s moved far.”

“What if she’s dead?”

Raising her face to the ceiling, Brooke said a few choice cuss words before looking at the other woman. “You should have been a lawyer, you know that?”

“So people have told me.” She wrinkled her nose at Brooke then said, “And what will you do if you find her? What will you do if you don't?”

“I'll either get answers or, at the very least, enjoy a much-needed vacation.”

“Brooke, you're just going to open up a can of hurt, I know it.” Syd chewed on a pen, looking worried. “What if she doesn't want to meet you? What if she’s a druggie? Or, what if she’s got a dynamite life and you go and screw it all up?” She tossed the pen down and blew back some strands of hair hanging in her face.

Brooke pursed her lips and plopped back down into the chair. “Thanks for all the moral support.”

“What will you really be getting out of this? You’ve been on your own since you were sixteen and should be proud of all you’ve accomplished.” Syd then said more softly, “Do you really want to find a woman that didn’t want you?”

“Believe it or not, I’ve thought about all of those things you mentioned. It's a gamble I'm willing to take.” She stood up and walked over to the corner window looking out at the people walking below. They all seemed to have direction and knew where they were going. They had purpose. They belonged somewhere, to someone. Brooke envied them.

She turned back to Syd with a pinched frown. “Haven't you ever felt like something was missing from your life and you can't fill it up no matter how hard you try?”

“Most people do, which is why I work six days a week.”

Brooke rolled her eyes.

“What if it’s just another dead-end and you’re left disappointed like last time?” Syd asked with real concern.

Brooke hated that her friend always had to examine things from every angle while she herself preferred to jump in before seeing how cold or deep the water really was. “I know. I've thought about that too.”

“Have you?” She crossed her arms over her chest looking like a disapproving parent.

“Look, you aren't talking me out of this, okay?” Brooke couldn't hide the frustration in her voice. Syd was more like a nagging mother than a friend at times. “This seems promising though. Besides, I need closure. If it doesn’t work out, I’m done looking.” She swallowed hard.

Her friend let out a long sigh and wiped a hand over her face. “Sorry if I'm bitchier than usual. Must be PMS. I do hope you find her and that she's as happy to see you as you will be to see her.”

Brooke stood up, hugged Syd and laughed. “When I get back I'm forcing you to take a vacation. We've been running Sinful Secrets for five years and I don't think you've taken more than a day or two off each year.”

Syd started rummaging through a filing cabinet now. “We really don't need four catalogs from each supplier, do we?” She tossed the extras onto the maroon carpeted floor. “I like working.”

Brooke raised her eyebrows. “Really? I've never noticed.” She headed for the door and looked back at her friend. “I'm bringing my cell, though I don't know how good the reception is out there. I’ll check in with you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” More catalogs hit the floor. “Whether you do or don't find her, I hope you'll finally lay this mystery to rest. I swear, at times it consumes you. At the very least, you better come back less preoccupied and more creative. We need something to add to the upcoming Valentine line.”

Brooke blew a short breath of amusement through her nose. “Valentine's day was four months ago, which means we still have eight months until the next.” Before Syd could talk, Brooke held up a hand to stop her. “I already have some ideas brewing, a few for Christmas too, but can we talk about it when I get back? Two weeks isn't going to throw us off schedule. If you get too antsy I’ll email you the details, okay?”

“Alrighty.” She turned around and leaned against her filing cabinet. “Seriously though, good luck. Call when you can, take lots of pictures of the scenery, and make me jealous.”

“Will do.” Brooke laughed. “And, you have to admit this will also give me time to get Andrew out of my system. Though our relationship wasn't the most passionate or interesting, I totally believed he was the one.”

“Which is why I prefer being single.” Syd flashed a tight grin.

The comment had Brooke feeling sad for her friend. “You're only a few years older than I am and have the body of a runway model. Why let it all go to waste? Don't you ever want to be in love?”

“Nope. After three step-dads and one broken engagement, I'd rather go through life with my heart intact and Simon by my side.” She pushed away from the filing cabinet and sat back at her desk. “That dog's as loyal as they come.”

“I give up.” Turning the knob and heading out, Brooke tossed over her shoulder, “At least you haven't become a crazy cat lady ... yet.” Syd flipped her off and Brooke chuckled as she closed the door behind her.

Oblivious to everyone and everything around her, Brooke went to her office to grab her purse and left work behind. Excitement soared in her heart as she walked outside and inhaled the early evening around her. The familiar scents of the Greek restaurant on the corner, mingled with asphalt and other city smells swirled around her. Thankfully, it was late spring. She'd hate to make this trip during the winter. A soft breeze blew through her hair and a few robins sang from a nearby oak tree. Looking up at the deepening sky, she almost felt giddy.

What would the next two weeks bring? Would she finally find the mother she so often fantasized about? When she was younger she had given the woman every role from actress to brain surgeon. Now, she could care less if she was a hairdresser or a hermit, she simply wanted to learn about the woman she’d never known, hear her story, share her own, and find a sense of belonging. She knew it was a longshot, but she’d face whatever came her way, as she always did.

Everything was packed in her car and she would leave right from the parking lot. She had decided to take the eighteen-hour drive rather than flying out there then renting a car. There was enough money in her savings account to pay for this trip, regardless of where it took her.

For the past decade, she had been searching off and on for Lisa Scoffield. She didn’t know anything about the woman except her name since that was the only identifying information on the private adoption papers. Her adoptive parents died when she was young so she couldn’t ask them for more details.

It had taken time, money, persistence and patience, but she truly believed this was her best lead yet. Her last effort to go all out and locate her. What would she find in Iowa? Would this be another letdown, or would she find information that would direct her elsewhere? Or, would she be reunited her mother?

Her hands tensed on the steering wheel as she pulled out of the parking space, down the narrow alley, and onto the street. Eagerness and anxiety ran equally through her veins as she plunged into her adventure.

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