Angel's Body

2. Find Me

2. Find Me

Danny sent a message to Drake saying we’d left Eden and that if he wished to visit me at the cottage it was okay with him. It was out of courtesy that Danny let him know we’d returned, and extended the open invitation. We were indebted to Drake, though it pained Danny to admit it, and Gina had loved him so. He was almost part of the family. Of course, Danny knew Drake wouldn’t be able to find the blind spot on which the cottage was built unless one of us brought him here. Initially I laughed when he read out the message, though when I’d had time to ponder it I thought it was a little heartless, for an angel. Perhaps if I wasn’t part vampire, if I’d been a heavenly angel like Danny instead, we wouldn’t have to rely on Drake’s help so often.

As far as vampires went, Drake was what I considered a good guy, though a little overenthusiastic. By that I meant he could barely contain himself around me. His hands weren’t controlled by his brain, so it seemed, and sometimes I struggled internally between what my body wanted to do and what my head and heart told me to do. The three weren’t always in sync. Perhaps if we didn’t have a history it might be easier to ignore him, but my body remembered, even when the rest of me rejected him.

I wished Danny had consulted me before he sent the message, rather than afterwards. I would have told him not to say anything about visiting. It wasn’t fair to give Drake false hope that things could be different between us. I had made my choice, and planned to remain faithful to Danny. So far I was doing a pretty good job of it.

I decided I did want to see more of the world. As well as finding new hunting grounds, I wanted to visit many of the places Gina had been to. Danny was not so keen on what he called my pilgrimage. I needed to see what Gina had seen, and what legacy she had left to the world. I had to know if the people whose lives Gina had purportedly changed were staying true to the path she had guided them to. I no longer wanted to lash out at the world. I just wanted to … what, exactly? I didn’t know. I only knew I had to do it, and promised Danny I would return each night. Naturally he was hesitant. The last time I’d promised to return to him I didn’t, though in my defence, at the time I was no longer in my right mind.

“What can I do to convince you that I’ll come back?” I asked.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Danny said slowly. “I wouldn’t let you go if I thought I couldn’t trust you.”

I smiled at him. I’d like to see him try to stop me. Unless he’d been given some power from a higher authority that I wasn’t aware of, he had no hope in hell — or heaven — of preventing me from coming and going as I pleased. Yes, he could summon me if he wanted to, though he wasn’t really aware of that. He hadn’t made the blood connection. Funnily enough, when he’d died it was his voice, all in my head of course, that alerted me to the blood. Unless I was unconscious, or being restrained, I would return to him if he called.

“It’s the mortals,” he sighed at last. “They always manage to hurt you so. I think you’ve been through enough. You don’t need to go on any pilgrimage. Haven’t you told me that Gina gifted you her memories? Do your pilgrimage in your mind.”

I’d already seen what Gina had seen, through her eyes. I needed to see it through my eyes, with my understanding of the mortal world.

“Is that all you’re worried about, people hurting me?” I laughed softly. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, if it will make you feel better. You have it within you to summon me, just as I can summon you”

“I can’t summon you,” Danny said, dismissing the notion immediately.

“Have you even tried?” I asked.

He shook his head and frowned. “No, there’s no point.”

“When you drank my blood,” Danny cringed. He hated being reminded of what he’d done, “you gained something from me. With it you can call out to me, to my blood, and I’ll hear.”

“And you’ll always come, just because I summon you,” he said sarcastically.

I had to admit he was getting better at sarcasm, and a number of other things as well, like telling jokes. I really was influencing him far too much. I’d bet on my wedding ring that he wished some of him would rub off on me.

“Okay, you got me there,” I laughed, “though I really would come to you if it was at all humanly possible.”

“Human possibilities are very limited,” Danny pointed out, and grinned. “I’d rather you said something more dramatic and meaningful like come hell or high water.”

Where was he picking up these sayings? I was sure angels had much better sayings than those horrible worn clichés mortals employed.

We sat on the couch and I thought about what other way there might be for me to give Danny the peace of mind he required to allow me to go on my pilgrimage. I’d much rather do it with his blessing than have to pretend to be going hunting or something similar. Then a thought occurred to me.

“Is there any way I can gift you some of my abilities while I’m still alive?” I asked, excitedly.

“Not that I’m aware of. Why?”

That kind of put a dampener on my idea, though I thought I’d raise it anyway. It might get Danny thinking about what might actually be possible, and maybe get us brainstorming. After all, I was unique — one of a kind — and I’d already broken new ground, doing things Danny would not have believed could be done if he’d not witnessed them himself.

“Did you pay much attention to how I found Raphael and all the believers I killed?” I asked.

Danny eyes glazed over for a moment. He was looking through my memories to see how I’d managed to find Raphael and the thousands of mortals I’d killed in such a short period of time.

He shook his head. “I still don’t understand. All you did was ask to be taken to them.”

“And don’t you find that a little odd, asking to be taken to a person instead of a place?”

“I’ve never really thought about it before,” Danny said, “but it would be a handy ability to have.”

“Provided I haven’t been dragged off to hell again,” it was my turn to be sarcastic. “If I could gift you that ability you could come to me.”

“I wish there were a way, Helena,” Danny sighed.

“Let’s think on it, Danny. Where there’s a will —”

“Where there’s a pig-headedness,” Danny chuckled, “there’s a way. You’d find a way to fit a square peg in a round hole, I’m sure.”

I poked my tongue out at him, then smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment, even if it wasn’t meant that way.”

After a few hours Danny gave up trying to find a solution, deciding it was impossible. Sometimes he had trouble thinking outside of the square. I continued to work on the problem for a few days. Oh yeah, I was pig-headed all right.

Danny stroked and kissed my neck, trying to distract me, and I ducked out from under him. I probably should have paid him a bit more attention — I’d make up for it later — but I felt I was on the verge of having an epiphany of sorts, and wanted nothing to get in the way, and then bam it came to me. When I was pregnant Danny gave me a delicate silver chain to wear when we ventured into the mortal world. The necklace tied a projection of me — a dummy of sorts — to me whenever I unintentionally blinked and became invisible. It made me visible to human eyes, even when I wasn’t. What if a similar principle could be applied to tie my location, wherever that may be, to a piece of jewellery, an article of clothes or even a person? How would I do it? What would be the trigger? I knew that for the necklace to work I had to wear it, but this would be different. I wanted someone else to wear it and it would need a part of me to work.

Blood. And I knew it to be true. It’s the logical choice.

“Danny, I think I’m going to have some me time and soak in the bath. Do you mind?” I said, trying to remain calm and not let on I had an idea.

“I know you’re up to something,” he laughed. “I hope it’s something I’ll benefit from.”

Darn. Was I that transparent or had Danny simply become an expert at being able to figure out what I was thinking or feeling?

“It is,” I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss, “I promise.”

As I stood up to head to the bathroom, Danny gave my butt a playful whack. I knew what he had in mind, though I needed to tend to something else first. It wouldn’t kill him to wait an hour or so before I turned my attention to him.

The tub — big enough for both of us — was already full of hot, steamy water when I entered the bathroom. I didn’t get in straight away. I sat on the edge of the bath and imagined a dark leather wristband, with thin leather ties and the angelic symbols for She who kills and God’s warrior burnt around the band. I opened my hand and the wristband appeared, as I knew it would. The ability to create things from nothing with a simple thought was a gift Danny had bestowed upon me when he’d died.

The wristband would need to soak in my blood, absorbing as much as it could for it to work — that’s if it did work. It was only a theory at this stage, and it would take time to determine if my hypothesis was correct.

I summoned a small bowl and Death — the blade Danny had given me when I was new to immortality — which I used to cut my palm deeply, and gritted my teeth as I did so. I may be immortal, but I wasn’t entirely immune to pain. I dropped the wristband into the bowl, flattening it as I did so, and let my blood flow from the deep wound to soak it thoroughly. Twice more I had to cut my palm, as it healed rapidly. When the wristband was submerged in blood I hid the bowl in the cupboard under the basin and climbed into the bath for a relaxing soak.

I wasn’t surprised when there was a knock on the door, almost an hour later. Danny could be infinitely patient when it suited him, though at times such as this, when he felt a burning need, it was as if patience was unknown to him.

“Come in,” I called out, laughing softly to myself.

Danny peered around the door and smiled. He raised his eyebrows when he saw I was still in the bath, luxuriating in its warmth.

“You’re still soaking,” he said, shaking his head. “How many times have you reheated the water?”

“Just the once,” I laughed. I was starting to look like a prune already and I’d only been in the bath for half an hour. “Did you want to join me?”

Danny was stripped before he reached the bath. I turned on the jets to get the water churning and some bubbles happening. For some reason Danny really liked the bubbles. He would scoop up handfuls and blow them into the air, or part them in the water as though he were searching for buried treasure. Maybe he enjoyed what was hidden beneath the bubbles, rather than the bubbles themselves.

There was a familiar gleam in his eyes. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Danny leapt into the bath and bubbles exploded into the air, drifting lazily back down to be swept away in the maelstrom of swirling water. It was time for us to delight in some uninterrupted and unadulterated pleasurable activities, my mind now able to focus on what is was he sought.

I waited a whole day before removing the wristband from the bowl — the blood needed time to thoroughly saturate it — and cleaning it so that no trace of blood was visible. To the naked eye it looked like any one of hundreds of wristbands with strange runes and symbols branded into the leather.

Theoretically the wristband was ready, and so was I. If it did work as I hoped, I’d have some fun, at least the first time Danny used it. If it didn’t work, Danny would be none the wiser of what wicked things I had planned for him.

Danny was sitting on the couch in the living area, reading one of the many books he had in his personal library at the back of the cottage. I leaned over the back of the couch, wrapping my arms about his neck, the wristband held in one hand.

“What’s this?” Danny asked, touching the wristband.

“It’s something I made for you.”

Danny took hold of my arms and pulled me over the couch. I landed in his lap, on top of his book. He reached underneath me, retrieved the book and tossed it to the end of the couch.

“Why the gift?” he asked suspiciously.

He was getting more like me as the days passed, picking up many of the mortal traits I’d retained. Would they survive through the centuries, indelibly imprinted on my psyche, or would I grow and change as I became more attuned to the immortal world?

“You know I’ve been thinking about what we discussed the other day, about your being able to find me no matter where I was — except for hell of course. I think I may have found the solution.”

I tried containing my excitement, though it was difficult. I wanted this to work so badly, to know that I could find new ways to tackle old problems. I lifted Danny’s left hand and tied the leather band around his wrist. He looked at the symbols — She who kills and God’s warrior — and chuckled. It was the same as saying Helena and Danny — the two were inseparable. He lifted his wrist to his face and breathed in through his nose. His brow creased into a frown as he realised the scent was not entirely what he was expecting, for something that seemed to be a simple leather band.

“I know this is leather, but it smells like you,” he said.

“That’s the whole point. That band contains a part of me,” I explained, “and it won’t ever wear off, well at least while the band is intact and hasn’t worn away to nothing.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll probably need to make a replacement band sometime in the distant future.

“I want you to come and find me in about ten minutes, but not the usual way. I want you to think to yourself take me to Helena, and whatever you do, don’t take the wristband off.”

Danny smiled and nodded. He knew exactly what the wristband was meant to do. I kissed him on the lips and tapped the tip of his nose playfully with my finger.

“I’ll see you in ten minutes, hopefully.”

I only had a short period of time to get everything prepared, if all went to plan. I was going to have some fun, and oh what fun it would be. I arrived at the back of an establishment well known for its fantasy rooms. I’d already made the booking in advance — in anticipation of this working — but there were personal touches I wanted to add to the room in question. A young woman wearing what would have been deemed as appropriate attire in even the most fastidious of offices showed me to the room.

I wasn’t asked where my partner was, or when he — or she — would arrive. Anyone who worked at this type of establishment knew that couples often arrived separately, particularly if their liaisons were clandestine.

When I was alone I changed into something more appropriate for the Leather and Lace room — thigh-high leather boots, a leather collar with D-rings, leather wristbands — similar to the one I had given Danny — and lacy lingerie, all in black. I held in my hand a short, black leather whip with a dozen soft leather straps, ready to flagellate Danny or tease him, depending on how wicked I was feeling when he arrived. In no way whatsoever would it resemble the flogging I’d given the preacher in hell, one which he had wholeheartedly deserved. This would be a purely erotic experience, for pleasure only.

The lights could be dimmed, yet they wouldn’t provide the type of atmosphere I was trying to create. I thought of half a dozen pillar candles, floating lazily in the air, and they appeared instantly, as though I had commanded it. The whole simply-think-it-to-make-it-happen thing was a real plus. I turned out the lights and watched the shadows cast by the flickering candles eerily dance on the walls. There was just enough light for a mortal to see by adequately — too much for me. I dismissed three of the candles. Perfect!

I was sure some of the devices and contraptions that were mounted on the walls would confuse Danny no end, though surely he’d know what the large bed-like rack in the middle of the room was for.

There was only three minutes to go before Danny would attempt to find me. I walked over to the solitary leather chair, in the farthest corner of the room, and sat down, crossing my legs. I tapped the whip gently in my palm, waiting for him to arrive.

In my mind I created a playlist of songs that would provide the low-level background music to our liaison. I added a variety of songs to play on loop, or when I deemed necessary, for as long as we remained in this room — Criminal, Erotic, Biting Down, Free Drink Ticket, Corrupt, Closer, Teeth, Doomsday, I Touch Myself, Paradise Circus, Hunter, Breathe Underwater, Comfortably Numb, Sing for Absolution and, I Go to Sleep. Something for the different moods, or atmospheres, I wanted to create.

As I was arranging the order of the songs there was a brief flash of white light, similar to a camera flash. Suddenly Danny was standing not more than a metre in front of me.

“Helena, it worked,” he cried out with joy. I have given him a wondrous gift.

I was secretly ecstatic it had worked and that Danny would have the reassurance of knowing he could find me whenever he needed to. Outwardly my face wore a different mask, to reflect where we were. It spoke volumes about what I could be, in a place such as this — a mistress of pleasure, or a mistress of pain — depending on whether or not I was pleased by my minion.

I stood up, feet apart, and slapped the whip into my open palm menacingly, like I’d seen police do with their batons when they wanted to warn unruly mobs that they meant business. It made a thwacking sound that I’d always found strangely erotic.

“Kneel,” I hissed, and pointed the whip to the ground.

“What?” Danny asked. He has gone from elation to confusion in a matter of seconds.

“I said kneel!”

“What’s gotten into you, Helena? What’s this all about?”

Talk about throwing a bucket of water onto the fire. I walked towards Danny and forced my knee between his legs. I placed the butt of the whip under his chin and lifted it gently. His lips were almost touching mine. I could feel his hot breath on my face and my heart started beating rapidly.

“Oh,” Danny said, embarrassed at not having picked up on what was going on sooner. “It’s one of those s*x game things I know nothing about, isn’t it?”

I smiled slyly and purred seductively, “Call me Mistress Lash.”

I pushed him in the chest, once, twice, three times, until I had him backed up against the rack. One final shove and he was lying on his back. I quickly tied his hands and feet to the ends with the soft restraints. It was nothing he couldn’t get out of if he wanted to. I had a feeling he wouldn’t want to though.

I ripped his shirt to expose his chest and raked my fingernails from his shoulders to his navel. There were eight red marks that revealed the path my fingers had travelled, though I was careful not to draw blood. I climbed onto his lap and leaned down to kiss him, pulling away just before our lips touched. I let my lips gently brush his neck and shoulder, and in between I teased him with the kiss that never came, until it drove him wild. I hadn’t noticed he’d been slowly working at freeing himself from his bonds. He worked quietly with small movements that didn’t catch my attention, so naturally I was caught off guard when he reversed our positions and demanded from me the kiss, and other things, I’d been withholding.

I did tell myself I’d planned to have a bit of fun, and that it was. Danny surprised me with some of the things he’d done and I wondered if he’d secretly been conducting research of his own. After all, he had learned the flamenco without Gina or me being aware of it, so why not learn about other pleasurable pursuits?

The candle flames flickered wildly as the air continually stirred from the movement of our bodies, entwined together. At one point Danny whispered that he was going to temporarily blind and deafen me. I was momentarily frightened by the void losing those two senses left. When I felt Danny’s tongue gliding down towards my navel, my entire body awakened, becoming one massive erogenous zone. Areas that would not have elicited a response before — behind my knees, of all places — suddenly took me by surprise and left me gasping for air.

Here I was thinking that it would be Danny who was in for a wild ride, when he was able to take me to heights of pleasure I never thought possible. The lust that vampires aspired to was a pale comparison to the euphoric response Danny was able to elicit from me.

Eventually, all senses restored, we lay on the role-playing bed totally exhausted, tingling all over and blissfully happy.

I was secure in the knowledge that Danny could now find me if he chose to come looking, provided he wore the leather wristband. I would have my freedom and Danny would have his peace of mind.