Angel's Body

1. Home

1. Home

Every day, when the sun had risen, I’d look at the painting over the fireplace in the living area, of Danny and Gina dancing. He looked so dashing in his flamenco-inspired outfit — snug fitting black pants, black boots, and a loose white shirt with puffy sleeves, laced up the front — and Gina simply looked regal in a flowing off-the-shoulder emerald coloured dress that matched the colour of her eyes. Danny would never dance with his daughter as the father of the bride, but at least he had this, and so did I.

Life was still different for us. Gina’s small home — once a hive of activity for our daughter — sitting empty in the garden, was a constant reminder of what we’d lost. Eden was also changed. No longer was it the paradise it had once been, though in truth an outsider looking in would see a paradise. For me, without Gina, Eden was just another place, nothing special at all. Even the animals sensed the change and kept their distance from me, afraid that my rage might take hold and I would lash out at them.

My rage was gone though, spent on the believers. I had no desire to inflict harm, intentional or not, against any of the creatures in Eden that had loved Gina.

I was lying on the soft, springy grass, looking up at the sky and trying to find animals in the clouds. It was a game Gina had loved to play. She would find all sorts of animals in the clouds, even those that didn’t really exist, but came from her very active imagination. She would make up an animal to suit the shape of the cloud and describe it in great length, not only the animal, but its habitat, what other creatures were its friends, what it ate and what colour it was. Unlike many real animals Gina’s animals were brightly coloured — some with stripes, some with polka dots and some with both. I’d asked her how her animals would camouflage themselves if they didn’t blend into their habitat. She told me they’d all be like chameleons, and could change colour on demand, yet they only did so when they felt threatened. As soon as any threat was gone, their natural bright colours would return.

A butterfly fluttered past me and stopped to rest on one of the many perfumed flowers in the garden. It slowly opened and folded its wings before falling gently to the ground. I sat up and watched the butterfly as it lay on its side, continuing to open and close the one wing that wasn’t grounded. I heard the soft flapping, whisper quiet, as it tried to lift off. It was such a sad event to witness. I desperately willed the butterfly to right itself and take flight once again. After a few minutes the struggling subsided and it was still. I leaned closer to the butterfly and smelled death, even though its heart had just stopped beating and its body had not yet grown cold.

“Danny,” I called out.

He didn’t waste any time coming to my side, not that he’d ever been tardy. It was just that things were different now. I thought he was still worried about the effect Gina’s death had had on me, even though I’d had a measure of peace and closure when she’d been resurrected. Danny didn’t want to smother me, yet he didn’t like being far away either. I knew it was out of love, not fear, and it did make me happy to know he cared so much.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, looking down at me sitting cross-legged on the grass.

I pointed to the ground. “The butterfly, it’s dead.”

Danny crouched down beside me to look at the butterfly, though he didn’t need to. He would have been able to tell it was dead from much further away, by sight, sound or smell. Any of these would have been a giveaway of the butterfly’s demise.

“So it is,” he said. “It’s strange how even Eden reacts to Gina’s death.”

“You feel it too?” I asked.

Danny nodded his head. “Yes.”

“Danny, I don’t want to be here anymore,” I said sadly.

As I turned my face away from the butterfly to look at Danny the shock on his face made me realise my poor choice of words. I’d need to be careful about what I said if I didn’t want to continually alarm him and make him worry about me all the more. I patted the grass next to me and Danny sat down, the worry in his eyes increasing with every moment that passed.

“I mean, I don’t want to be in Eden anymore,” I clarified for him. “Do we have to stay?”

The worry that was etched on Danny’s face lifted and he sighed, relieved that I wasn’t talking about what he thought I was. A smile touched his lips and he brushed the stray hair from my eyes and tucked it behind my ear.

“No, we don’t have to stay. Remember, Gina told us we were free to come and go as we pleased. What did you have in mind?” he asked, with real curiosity. Was this another trait he had picked up from me? “Do you want to see more of the world?”

“I do want to see more of the world, but I’m in no hurry. We’ve got forever, haven’t we?” If neither of us gets killed, I thought to myself, and sighed wistfully. “No, what I’d like to do is go back to our cottage, back to where it all began.”

“It began before the cottage, Helena, on the night you were changed,” Danny reminded me. He was thinking of the physical metamorphosis being bitten by a vampire had caused, yet for me my life changed well after that event.

I smiled and rested my palm on his chest, over his heart. “That wasn’t what I was referring to. For me my life began after a werewolf raked my back and an angel healed me … and loved me. That was my new beginning.”

Danny placed his hand over mine and squeezed it gently. How lucky I was to have him. In all my wildest dreams I’d never imagined the love of a man could be like this. He accepted me for who I was. The past didn’t matter to him, as it would have to mortal men.

“Did you want to take anything back with you?” he asked.

“There’s only one thing. I’ve sent it ahead of us already. The rest will always be here though, won’t it?” I asked, not that it mattered. I had everything I really needed sitting next to me. “We can come back if we want to, can’t we?”

“Yes. Eden is ours now.” He paused to smile and his eyes travelled the landscape of the place we had called home since Gina’s birth. “Think of it as our summer residence, to use when we wish.”

I stood up and brushed off the grass that had stuck to my legs, and offered my hand to Danny. He slipped his hand, warm and strong, into mine and I gave a quick pull to help him to his feet.

“Shall we be off then?” I asked.

Before Danny could reply I’d returned us to the place I thought of as home. Once the decision had been made I was eager to be gone — there was no reason to stay.

Everything was coated with a thin layer of dust. It had been a while since we’d been here. Danny set about cleaning up, walking from room to room and virtually wishing the dust away.

It was nice to see the painting over the fireplace of Danny and Gina was still relatively dust-free. It could so easily have stirred up dust when I’d sent it here, allowing some to settle on it. This was one thing I would never allow to get dusty, or suffer the ravages of time. I would see to it that this painting was well taken care of, even if I was no longer around to tend it myself. A simple thought that transcends time was all that was needed.

I wandered from room to room, opening windows to allow the cottage to air out. When I reached our bedroom and saw the nursery Danny had created for Gina, a sad cry escaped my lips. Of course it hadn’t occurred to me that it would still be here — the cottage in Eden was the pre-pregnancy version. I’d almost completely forgotten we’d thought our baby would be born as any another baby, not as a full grown woman.

“Is everything all right?” Danny asked, popping his head around the door. He saw what I was staring at. “Helena, are you okay?”

I gave a quick nod. “Yes. It was just a bit of a shock. I wasn’t expecting to see the nursery.”

“I should have removed it earlier,” Danny said ruefully. “I don’t want you to be sad or upset. I’ve been a fool.”

“No, it’s okay, really,” I said, and it was. I could look back at our time with Gina and not cry anymore, well at least not as much as I used to.

I walked into the pink and blue nursery, with its toys, baby clothes and everything conceivable we might possibly need for the baby I thought I’d never have. They were reminders of how joyful we’d been — ecstatic at the prospect of bringing a child into our world and becoming parents. I picked up the tiny, soft woollen booties and mittens and pressed them against my cheek. I’m sure Gina would have giggled if she’d seen everything we’d bought in preparation for her arrival. It would have made her happy. She would have spent endless hours in here imagining what a real childhood was like. Knowing her, the childhood she dreamed of would have been absolutely perfect.

I thought sadly how I’d never given her a doll to dress up and play with, but then she’d always looked too grown up for such childlike things. Would she have liked to do something like that? Definitely.

I ran my hands over the railing of the cot and smiled. She would have been a cheeky baby, keeping us on our toes, much like she was probably doing to everyone in heaven this very moment. I’m sure they’d think she was a handful, but a divine one at that.

“Do you think we can have the extra room?” I asked, not quite wanting to let go of everything. “It was nice having a bigger room and bed in Eden, don’t you think? I liked the additional space.”

Danny smiled. “You can have whatever you want, Helena.”

Was there anything Danny wouldn’t do for me?

“Well, I’m going to wander in the garden and see how it’s fared while we’ve been gone,” I said. I’d give Danny some space to tend to the rest of the house. “I’ll leave you to the renovations.”

I paused by Danny on my way out, placed my hand on his arm to give it a gentle, reassuring squeeze and kissed his cheek. He shook his head and laughed, probably thinking something along the lines of how I always left the big jobs to him.

Isn’t that what men are meant to do, take charge of the big jobs and do the hard work? I laughed to myself.

The garden was somewhat overgrown. I’d never thought much about how it was maintained before. Obviously Danny had a hand in that as well. The water in the swimming pool was a horrible dark green colour. I heard frogs and saw dark shapes gliding beneath the surface of the water. The smell of the water in the pool was almost as bad as that of the abandoned copper mine I’d nicknamed Rancho el Stinko, but we called the ranch for short.

Behind the pool, hidden in the tall grass, was the crystal plaque Hael had erected in Danny’s memory, when he’d died some years before, by my hand. I would not have thought it possible he could be returned to me. I had tried bringing him back myself, and was punished with a blinding pain behind my eyes. Some rules were not meant to be broken, at least not by the likes of me. As soon as I had completed the task of purging the heavenly host of a fresh and new corruption, Danny had been returned to me. What was even weirder was that I had been performing God’s work without even knowing it.

I guess it’s true that He does work in mysterious ways, I thought happily.

I pulled the grass away from the plaque and something caught my eye — another plaque. It was the same size and shape as Danny’s. When I brushed away the dirt I was able to read the inscription — In memory of Gina, beloved daughter of Helena and Danizriel.

I sat on the grass, tracing the letters of Gina’s name until my finger was numb. In the distance I heard Danny mumbling about how overrun everything was, and that he should have ensured the maintenance of the cottage and its surroundings a long time ago.

“Danny,” I called out softly, “come look at this.”

He skirted the pool, muttering about how he would need to find new homes for its current inhabitants, and slowly wandered over to where I was sitting. I guess he thought I was only looking at his plaque, which was no big deal to him.

“Has someone vandalised it?” he said jokingly.

“Don’t be silly. Who would be stupid enough to do that and bear my wrath?” I chided him. “There’s something new here.”

“I could think of one vampire who’d be happy if I was gone again,” Danny mumbled. He was referring to Drake, no doubt, the ancient vampire who was strangely entwined in our lives. But no, not even he would stoop to vandalism.

Danny sat next to me and I leaned to the side so he could get a better look at the latest addition. As he read the simple message a single tear rolled down his cheek. No sound issued from his lips and his expression didn’t change, but that single tear told a story of loss. I reached out with my hand and gently brushed it away.

Our little girl had touched so many lives, ours included, and someone wanted us to know that she wouldn’t be forgotten. Was it Hael perhaps? He had left the plaque for Danny and was fond of Gina, though everyone was.

I wondered if one day there might be a crystal plaque for me, to complete the set — a memorial to our little family. Deep down I didn’t really feel I’d be worthy of being remembered in such a way.

“It’s good to be back,” Danny said as he touched the plaque. “It’s good to be home.”