Moon Over Min

Chapter 5: Min

It was November. The weather was turning cold, the flakes of ice stuck to my window at night, and my adaptation to the cold sparked up the household with frustrated shouts.

Antonio already knew of my ability to conceal the cold, but to Noah ― who was downstairs during one of his long conversations with Dr. Raven ― Antonio read an article on the price of wolves that can adapt to the cold. Now that he did, he wants to add that to the list to get more money, but Dr. Raven explicitly said;

'You agreed to the limited products to sell out of your son. If you want to add on to the list, you can invest to do that. I gave you my free empty slots to choose from. You already used them up, and sadly ― you cannot switch out anything. The deal is final.'

"Noah," Antonio's voice was cold and harsh. "Wake up that beast upstairs and don't walk in or out with that cage unlocked. I won't have a single demon roaming my home."

That was the fourth call he made this week, and every time he gets rejected by Dr. Raven. He'll send Noah up to my room to make sure I'm alive or good enough to sell still.

"Min," Noah's voice was raspy and low. I could tell he was by my doorway from the sound of his voice. "Father said to wake up."

I was already awake. My eyes were busy staring at my wrinkled pillow from one of my nightmares. My hair was messily covering my face. I was mentally tired of waking up and hearing Antonio's voice ― it gave me a panic attack the moment I woke up. It almost felt like being alive was worse than dying, because dying sounds amazing right now. "I'm awake," I replied. My voice was also low and strained. I cried the night before.

"Do you want... breakfast?" he asked. I could feel his gaze on my back hoping to see a physical response from me.

"Potatoes and grits," I mumbled, tears falling down my face again. "No seasoning, I don't want any flavor."

Noah walked to my bed, leaned down to press his forehead onto my bicep, and sighed heavily. "All I ever hear or see from you is tears or cries, if not those ― then it's fake smiles and dry replies to hide your pain caused by him downstairs." His words were low enough to not be picked up by the camera, but they were soft to reassure my doubt rising inside of me. That he didn't want to be my brother realistically, he just wanted to get into my head. But his voice calmed my nerves a little ― not a lot. Just a little.

"He said that wolves don't feel pain or remorse, that I only feel blood l**t and emotionless sensations of wanting to kill anything in my path. But I feel this agony in my chest daily ― I'm not human, nor am I a full wolf... am I just a demon disguised as a wolf-human?" My voice was brittle, raspy, and hoarse. Each word that escaped my lips almost choked in my throat and barely made it out.

"You are my brother," Noah said, his own tears falling down his cheeks and landing on my cover. "You're my entire reason for staying alive, and from the day I saw you during your coma. I knew we would get along. I didn't care what Momma said. I only cared about what you would say."

"I say the same thing. I hoped we would all get harmonious, and it ended with only you and me getting along." I looked behind me at Noah, who still had his head on my bicep. "I'm sorry for dragging you into my miserable life. You lost your mom, you lost your dad, and you lost your stability to hold onto your mental health. Now you cry alongside me... now... now you pray that there's light behind all of this."

"You're my light," Noah sniffed. He looked up to meet my glossy eyes and managed to wear the smile that he knew I'd always waited to see. "A light disguised as my brother, and if you had more years on this earth to let me show you that life isn't this bad. I would travel with you, and move you far away from here to give you a second chance to do something."

"I'm six years old. It's November seventh, year two-thousand and seven, and we only have seven more years to try to get me to see something great. I leave this world on my birthday, October first, and honestly... I want to stop time to try to get as many memories with you as possible."

"Me too, but father is set on selling you for money. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, be happy. You tried to make my life less depressing by cooking for me and talking to me. That's more than I could ever ask for."

"Then there's school, they're so weak, they fall to their knees the moment 'Dr. Raven' is mentioned. You're forced to sit in one room all day and are expected to graduate before your death. They are all sadists, I hope they get their karma."

"It's not their fault, Dr. Raven just has a lot of money. She'll buy the entire school just to destroy it and walk away to prove a point."

"You are not wrong," Noah groaned. He lifted his head and stood up straight. "But we can't do anything about it. Still want potatoes and grits?"

I nodded, wiping away my tears with my sleeve. "Yes please."

He smiled, "Coming right up."

***

The warm, delectable plate of food made my mouth water, causing my eyes to gleam ― my hand was already holding the fork and digging into my breakfast.

Noah sat on my floor, looking at my loose pages of work. I was instructed to continue studying and educate myself on a high school level. My eyes would always spin from the amount of words in the books but I remained still to not anger anyone.

My intelligence was on the same level as a ninth-grader with an above-average GPA, and to the school system along with Dr. Raven's analysis ― I'll be done with school at eleven or sooner.

That'll mean ― not only will I be done with staying in that cold lonesome room ― I'll be stuck in this room more than usual to wait two more years for my upcoming death.

Great.

I licked the remaining grits off my fork, before scooping up some of the potatoes to eat.

"Dad's going to the lab today," Noah said, organizing my papers in stacks. "He'll be gone for the rest of the night. I think he'll return at seven in the morning."

Noah knew about Bi. He commented on our friendship with a positive response. 'Your first friend, I'm happy for you, keep her close.'

My doubts still lingered in my head every time I stood too close to her. Will she leave my side too?

Is she lying about being a wolf?

I never saw her transform, nor hunt around me before. But if she did do it, I'd be too terrified to stay there for another second. Her wolf form will remind me that I'm a demon.

That I'm a monster in this house.

That I'm about to die soon because I'm a wolf.

"Okay," I replied, my voice escaping my lips sounding like an exhale.

It was ten in the morning. Antonio was leaving at six in the afternoon to work hard in the lab, before returning to fill the house with his mumbles and frustrations again.

"It's about time you got another metal bracelet," Noah said, standing up to lean against my desk. "I'll change it later."

The metal bracelet was a barrier to keep me from transforming. It is ninety percent effective, and so far ― I have stayed in my human form my entire life. It worked, but how long will it continue working?

"Finished?" Noah asked, nodding to my empty plate and empty cup of juice.

"Yes," I replied, getting up from my chair and returning to my bed. "Thank you again."

"You can thank me by going to see her." Noah picked up my plate and cup.

"Okay."

Noah walked out of my room with the dishes. The clinking sound from the fence told me he was unlocking it again and stopped when he walked on the other side of it to lock it back.

He descended to go downstairs and disappeared from my line of sight ― his footsteps blended with the background noises of the television and radio.

I climbed underneath the covers again to hide in my cocoon.

I have complemented death so many times in my entire existence, but after that breakfast ― I might just press pause on those thoughts to savor the brotherly affection for a bit longer.

Just allow me to be selfish with these emotions for a little longer.

Please.

***

I was woken up by a light clinking sound from outside my room in the middle of the night. It sent me into panic mode at first, but when I heard footsteps and smelled Noah ― I calmed down enough to turn around to face him.

"Noah?" I eyed my brother's choice of attire to wear at eight o'clock at night. Was he running to the store?

"Sorry I woke you up." Noah moved a few strands of my hair from my face. "Dad left two hours ago for work, so you'll be able to visit Bi while he's gone."

I slowly sat up worried. My gut was telling me that Noah was leaving, something in my heart told me that this is the last time I'll see Noah. "Noah? Where are you going?"

Noah smiled sadly. "Away."

"Away where?"

"Somewhere that is far away from father and everyone else. I'm mentally exhausted and I miss being a kid instead of a perfect honor roll son, so I'm leaving for my grandparents' house in New Mexico."

I felt my eyes water and my heart dropped into my stomach. Noah's leaving me?

"Don't cry, Min." Noah's voice was brittle and hoarse. "You'll be fine without me. You have the bear and now―" Noah reveals a wolf stuffed animal to me. "―you have this."

I happily accepted the stuffed animal and whimpered. "Noah..."

Noah hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I tried to stay strong, but not everyone is strong enough to stand against those who have the most power."

"You were my first friend, Noah. Y-You were―" I sobbed into Noah's shoulder, hugging him without using my brutal strength to kill him accidentally. "―my only friend."

"Now your friend can be Bi. She'll help you."

"Big brother was my friend, though."

"I'm sorry I failed to be there for you, Min," Noah mumbled. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "No...you did your best."

Noah sniffed and reached into his pants pocket for a metal bracelet. "H-Here, let me replace this before I leave."

I gave Noah my wrist so he can replace my bracelet carefully.

For the ten seconds that the metal bracelet was removed ― I felt the h*******t compulsion rebel against my self-control to prevent the blood l**t from rising like a conquest. It shivered against my vertebra ― traveling up and down my spine to reach each part of my torpid bones and brain. Attempting to awaken my dormant transition from human to wolf, but luckily the new metal bracelet slipped onto my wrist before my body could physically start changing. Silencing my transition from happening against my will.

"Thank you," I whispered. Inhaling the cool air into my burning throat that suffered through those ten seconds. I was slowly urging for that iron ichor to feed off of. It felt like my body was about to unlock an insatiable thirst that'll never extinguish.

Is this what wolves go through daily?

That felt like true hell. And it was only ten seconds.

"No problem, Min." Noah held the old bracelet in his hand and slipped it into his pocket―probably saving it to keep to remember me by.

"When will I see you again?" I asked.

"I don't know." Noah shrugged. "It could be months, years―" he stopped, knowing what the next words were. "―your death date."

"I want to see you again before I die, Noah."

"You will. I promise you that." Noah hugged me again.

"Was I a good brother?" I asked Noah, my heart palpating with overwrought.

"Yes, you were." He nodded. "The best brother I could ask for."

"And you were the best big brother I could ask for." I held onto him tighter, aware of my strength. "Thank you for not being afraid of me."

"I would never be afraid of you. In my eyes, you are human too-regardless of your race. You belong to stand next to me like everyone else who is human because being human does not mean you have the anatomy of one. It means, in my opinion, that you feel emotions like one. That's who you are to me. A person who is gifted with an extra identity. You are special, Min. Never forget that."

"I'll miss you, Noah." I sobbed. "I'll miss you lots."

"I'll miss you lots too." Noah combed his trembling fingers through my hair. "If you want to, you can visit me with that superhuman speed of yours ― you are allowed to look for me."

"But I don't want to anger him."

"You won't be gone long, just long enough to see me again."

"I'll try to visit you."

"You have my email and number. Call me if you need me."

"I will."

Noah pulled away from the hug ― much to my despise ― and showed me a tote bag filled with food. "This should keep you alive till you find a way to feed yourself. Sorry again."

I shook my head. "No, you did your best. Thanks."

"Don't let the food rot and don't eat it all up in one day."

"I won't."

Noah stood up and backed up to the door. "Hopefully we'll see each other again."

I felt my tears stream down my cheeks more. "N-Noah? I'm not ready to part with you yet. Just one more minute, please. I-I can't."

"Min, you'll be alright." Noah stopped walking when he saw me walking towards him. I wrapped my small arms around him and inhaled his calming scent. He petted my head while choking on his words. "I promise you'll do j-just fine without me. You have to be strong for your final years, okay? I'll try to visit you when I can."

"Noah..." I whimpered.

"I love you, Min," Noah whispered, hugging me one last time.

"I-I―" I swallowed my anxiety to say the words. "―I love you too, N-Noah..."

"Min," Noah bawled, his whole body trembling in my arms. "I will always be your brother."

"You're my family. M-My only family."

"You're my only family too."

"I'll see you soon." I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I was finally going to separate from Noah, but I didn't want to separate from Noah. Noah's my family, my brother, my friend ― my ally. I'll be dead before he'll see me again. I don't want to die before I see him again, I'll be devastated. "Don't forget me."

"I will never forget you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."