Moon Over Min

Chapter 7: Min

"Why would Bi want to shoulder it?" I asked in an irresolute tone.

"She's very fond of you, she might not look like it, but she's tentative about her own existence as well."

"Why?"

"You should ask her that question. She'll be happy to answer it for you." Victor said, ineptly. He flashed me a small, awkward grin before extending his hand out for me.

I grabbed his hand to let him hoist me up onto my feet. "I-I will. Thank you, Victor."

"Just being helpful, that's all."

"Where can I find her?" I asked.

Victor used his thumb to point in the direction behind him. "Over there, just follow the scent."

"Thanks," I walked past Victor, heading in the direction he pointed to.

"Try not to ask Kie that question, though," Victor said. "He's not aware of anything, so it'll be useless to expect any answers."

I nodded, realizing that I had stopped walking, and continued into the trees to find Bi.

The curiosity of Kie's past failed to leave my mind. Who made Kie do that years ago?

And was Kie the reason behind the humans' fear of wolves?

Or is someone purposely making wolves the enemy?

***

"Ah, Min!" Bi jumped down from a tree, her hair was mussed from the constant acrobatic movement she was doing before. "I was expecting you! I mean, I was not really expecting you, but I knew you would come because my gut feeling told me you would! If that makes sense."

"I-I know what you mean," My heart was still racing from her jumping down in front of me suddenly, withal from seeing how far she had to fall to reach the ground ― it looked dangerous, reckless, and almost fatal but she looked unscathed, she didn't even blink when she landed. She must be used to that kind of height.

My house is the only height I can manage right now, and it's not as high as that tree ― it makes me feel lightheaded from how far I would fall till I plummet to the ground.

I might break my legs doing that.

"Oh great! What did you come to do today?" Bi asked in an exuberant tone, slightly bouncing on the soles of her feet.

"I wanted to―" I fidgeted with my fingers. My words were barely coherent from how low I was saying them. I felt my breathing get heavier as I tried to find the words to say. "―ask a question, about something ― that I was ― um ― that I was c-curious about. You don't have to answer. I just wanted to ask a-and my―"

"Min," Bi placed her hands on my shoulders and took in a deep breath, signaling me to follow her breathing. "One word at a time."

I took in slow, steady deep breaths. My heartbeat slowed down and my breathing began to get under control. "I want to ask about... living."

"Living?" Bi asked in a calm, soft tone, assuring my worries. "What do you mean, Min?"

"I'm not sure about living any longer and―" I looked down. "―I don't want to die while being dismembered."

"Can I tell you something that another wolf has told me before?"

I nodded.

Bi dropped her hands from my shoulders and placed them behind her back, her fingers interlaced over the other. "Life is kind of like a game of lion and deer. Your meaning of life could either be consumed by a large quantity of fear or be at peace with a feeling of warmth protecting you. Plenty of things can hunt you and kill you, but if you continue to run mindlessly out of distress ― you'll never know how much you're capable of."

"What if fear wasn't a lion? What if it was a mountain? A motionless thing that prevents you from achieving what you need to do, and though everyone tells me that I can do so much ― my life only consists of slipping off the edges knowing I have nothing to hold onto. Nothing to keep me off the ground where my hell continues to taunt me without considering my overwhelming dread of death."

"Then you have to find another way to the top," Bi said. "There's no such thing as one way to the finish line. There's always a path to take to get there. There'll be pain and obstacles but you'll make it if you don't stop believing in yourself."

"I-I don't know," I shook my head from doubt. I didn't want to believe that a demon like me could have a way to a good life. What is a good way anyway? A trick to make someone believe they could live past thirteen? "I'm still unsure that it's true."

"It's okay. Not even I believe that life is all sunshine and roses. I think that everything is a lie in my mind."

"I'm sorry―"

"Don't apologize. If you don't like living then you don't. That's perfectly fine."

"Is it okay if I ask why you don't like living?"

"Of course," Bi grinned, though her eyes reflected a different emotion. Something similar to sadness. "My life wasn't like yours or the others. I was born in a lab, more specifically ― Dr. Raven's lab. The woman injected my mother with an unknown substance while I was in her womb, causing her to become ballistic and provoking me to become a wolf unable to control my anger. I think I developed Intermittent explosive disorder, an impulse-control disorder designated by sudden episodes of inordinate anger. But I'm unsure, I just know I have trouble controlling my anger."

"You never―?"

"Oh no, I never got diagnosed. How could I? Those humans will cast me away for an experiment, never to be seen again."

"Sorry, I never knew..."

"That's because I make sure to let my emotions out before I talk to you. Your scent is very strong so it's easy to determine how long I have until you arrive."

"How do you tell by smell?"

"It's kind of hard to say. I'll have to show you." Bi pointed to a clearing where the sun was still peaking. "Liy is currently over there, nearby a group of animals, eating them."

"That's―" I don't want to say cool because the visual of a wolf eating another living thing crept into my mind. Nausea burned in the back of my throat and it took everything in me not to throw up the little breakfast I ate. "―wow..."

"I know right!" She beamed. She started to gesture how Liy was killing the animal while explaining how she could picture the scene by smelling the different types of pheromones and scents.

I tried so hard not to retch. The urge to vomit everything I ate was strong, but I kept it down ― barely.

By the time Bi finished explaining and gesturing, I was nearly biting down on my bottom lip, almost drawing blood. I forgot how sharp my teeth were and when they glazed against my skin, I flinched. Bi looked at me worriedly.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just―" I clenched my shirt. "―got uncomfortable when you talked about... hunting."

"I'm sorry! I forgot you said you didn't want to talk about it or do it!" I could see Bi's face grimace as she held her face in her hands. "You probably hate me now, right?"

"No, I don't. I just didn't want to complain and upset you."

"If you don't like something, you should tell me." She removed her hands from her face and met my eyes again. "I want to be a good friend to you."

"I'll try to be more open with my dislikes and likes." My lips slowly stretched up into a wary smile. "Thanks for being patient. I didn't know how to approach you on this matter."

"It's alright! As long as you're comfortable and willing to ask what's on your mind, I don't mind. That tells me that you're more able to trust me, as I am with you ― new wolves aren't very nice to me sometimes. I do tend to come off as bipolar unintentionally to them."

"I'm trying to trust you more and hopefully one day I can be as useful as the rest of the pack. Your emotions included."

Bi smiled and nodded. "Are you staying long? The others are finished."

My eyes looked up at the sky. "Only a little while. My human is about to check the cameras."

"Okay! Let's play tag again!"

"Okay, let's play tag."