The Man I Was Not Supposed to Love

I Have the Perfect Plan

“Wilhelmina!” Roman said as he prevented me from falling on my knees. I can’t explain what happened, but my knees became so weak the moment I read what’s on the scroll. So, it’s happening. What I feared was happening.

“W-we’re going to have more than half less the annual budget, Arthur…” I said weakly as I let my body weight fall on his arms. “How will we survive this?”

Arthur remained silent. He looks so downcast with his head bowed on the floor. He does not look at me in the eyes and I can sense that he is slightly trembling. I know that this is very difficult for him. Being a man with high pride and long years of being in power, I know that his ego cannot handle this kind of feeling – helplessness. A tear escaped from my eye. I am unable to stop this self-pity growing deep inside me. I am doing my best to hold up but the pressure is just too heavy for me.

“Dad? Mom?”

Arthur and I immediately straightened. We can be weak in front of each other, but not in front of our daughter. That can’t be. We can’t appear weak before her. That’s the only pride we have left. We can’t lose that.

“What’s happening? Are you okay?” Our daughter Irene said as she drew closer to us.

I looked at her with sharp eyes.

“Of course!” I said as I looked at her. What does she think of us as parents? Do we even look weak in her eyes? I feel insulted. This child doesn’t really know how to read the situation. I looked at Arthur who was now looking at me. I can see him letting out a heavy sigh.

“Okay…” Irene said. “I just wanted to ask permission to go with Wilma to the forest today.”

I frowned all the more.

“Forest?!” I repeated as I shook my head. This child really does not know her place. “How many times do I need to tell you that you are not made for the gardens or forests? You are a Marquess and Marquise's daughter, the heir to the land of Adarna and you are not born to touch the soil or bury your hands on rotten and filthy things. Do you understand?”

“But mom…” she protested. Her attempt to contradict me just fueled the anger that I feel deep inside.

“Stop it, Irene!” I shouted. “Go back to your room NOW!”

I could see her face crumple as her eyes began to get wet. She turned her back and walked towards the door without any words at all. That’s what she always does when she is scolded. I know that she feels upset but she will understand someday. After all, what I am doing is for her own good.

“Don’t be too hard on her, Wilhelmina,” Arthur said, his voice soft but stern.

I looked at him with sharp eyes.

“What do you mean? I’m just doing what is right for her. She has no sensitivity for the situation. Have you not noticed? She doesn’t even know her worth. She has been going to those gardens and touching the soil. She has to know how to take care of her appearance. After all, she will be marrying one of the lords of this land. She has to prepare to become a lady.”

Arthur didn’t answer me anymore. He walked towards the window and let out a heavy sigh. All I could do was to follow his back with my eyes. He has been looking down for the past months already. Although I don’t want to say anything anymore, I don’t want to add more to his sorrow.

Ah, if not for that daughter…

Ah, wait! Irene! Right, she could be the solution that we have been waiting for! She can save this family’s declining popularity and reputation. Why did I not think about that in the past? Well, all I need is a well-thought-of plan. I smiled as I walked towards my husband, who was looking far beyond what his eyes could literally see outside the window. I hugged his back and laid my cheek on the flat part of his back.

“It will be alright…” I whispered. “I promise…we will be alright…”

Arthur did not respond. He just kept quiet. He didn’t move either. I don’t know how long we stayed in this position, but I guess it was long enough to make me complete my redemption plan. My lips curved as I pictured things in my mind. I will start working as soon as possible. I have to groom that daughter of mine to become a proper lady, one whom all bachelors in this land would desire to marry. It’s sad to say that now, she is not like that. She is far from being the lady that I was in the past. Whatever happened to her? Sometimes, I wonder if she is really my daughter.

“I have plans…” I whispered to Arthur when he did not respond. “Don’t worry, for now, my love.”

I can hear him breathing deeply again but I just kept on planning, in my mind. I have a lot of creative ideas now that I have finally found the perfect plan to solve all these problems.

“We’ll use Irene…” I whispered just to give Arthur a hint of what was running on my mind.

I felt him flinch at that. Suddenly, he faced me and stared at my eyes with an expression of unbelief.

“No, this is not what you are planning!” he cried in horror. He shook his head vehemently.

“No, Arthur, listen to me!” I said in an attempt to persuade him. “This is not a bad plan after all.”

His jaw dropped as he shook his head. With one last look, he walked out of the room. I was left alone. Why does he misread the things that I am doing to Irene? Can’t he see that I am just concerned about her future? After all, no one would definitely marry her if she stays like how she is now and keep burying herself in those gardens.