Fierce Nervous Beta

Nightmares and Dreams

Hold it steady Sweets." He yelled so I could hear him over the raging storm around us. The panick in his voice was enough for me to push the boat as fast as it could go. I held steady as the waves crashed around us. The storm came out of nowhere: no forecast, no warnings. The waves slammed into the side of the boat and everyone held tight as we were tossed around helplessly. My feet were slipping with these stupid flip flops. I kick them off hoping that my feet will give me more grip. I could feel the motor starting to fail but we were so close, so f*****g close. I could feel him warp himself around me and start praying a whispered prayer.

"I love you." He whispered softly into my ear and held me tightly.

"I love you too." My words carried through the storm. Tears stained my cheeks. Out of the corner I could see it, so dark no light would every pass through it. Like death incarnate. I could almost see the shadowy outline of the grim reaper standing on top of the wave. The wave just kept climbing towards the heavens, getting bigger and bigger. My breath caught in my chest as the almighty wave began to break.

I forced my eyes open and run into the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach. I run my hand through my hair and lean my head against the cool wall as I pant willing the nausea and feeling of impending doom to pass. I say a prayer to whoever would listening. I'm not religious but he was. I needed my normally useless words to make me feel better for once, I needed to believe he was okay or at least ask that he was. I didn't know what to say so I said the same words he did on the ship that day and put all of my emotions and needs for him behind it. I break out in a cold sweat and start shivering. Turning the shower on and stepping under the near boiling water, I let the burning sensation on my skin burn away at the memory. All my emotions, all my energy and my whole soul trickles down the drain leaving me empty and hollow. I lean my forearms against the slick shower wall and hang my head so the burning water can run through my hair and wash everything out of my head. My shallow breaths escape in whispers as my lungs burn with the heat. I loose track of time as I stand there, burning away the past.

I can feel Oliver getting into the shower behind me. He reaches around me and winces as the water hits his skin but manages to turn the tap off. He slowly takes my pajamas off and then wraps me in something to dry me off. I just stare blankly through him as he looks at me with concern in his eyes. He leans down and swoops my legs up while holding my back. I rest my head on his chest and his salty sea scent makes me want to throw up. He places me gently on the bed and grabs one of his T-shirt for me. He kneels infront of me rubbbing soothing circles up and down my lower leg and just looks up at me with those storm eyes.

"What time is it?" I ask roughly. He looks surprised and glances to the clock on his bedside table.

"It's 4:30." He says and runs his hand down my wet hair.

"I still have 4 days before I can go home." I stupidly say out loud. He nods his head with a small smile.

"We better start packing my stuff then." He says relieved. It's my turn to nod at him. He stands up and offers his hand. I just looked at his outstretched hand. After a moment I placed my hand softly on his and he laces his fingers with mine to lead me into the closet. He pulled me onto the floor and grabbed a few duffle bags. We started packing his clothes into the bags. Once we were done with his half we turned to my old clothes. He grabbed the boxes they were moved with and holds up my favourite Halsey crop top.

"Bag or box?" He asks. I laugh at the memory of me standing in the kitchen in nothing but that top and a pair of my sluttiest panties while baking w**d brownies and blasting Nickelback to make Kade feel after Tracey Leigh broke up with him when we were 16.

"Definitely bag." I grab it from him and fold it so it can go in a bag. "All my band tops are coming with. They're the only things I miss. That and my pajama collection." I say while plopping my impressive band shirt collection into a bag.

We carry on going through my clothes and most of them end up in the donation boxes. I open a draw filled with my underwear.

"Who moved my clothes here?" I ask with a smirk on my face.

"Kade insisted and he dragged the whole golden group with him." He said with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"

"All of my lingerie has been neatly folded on top and the rest is stuffed underneath it so I can only assume Kade went through my underwear draw." I chuckle at my friends silliness. Oliver bursts out laughing.

"Let it all go in the bin." I pick all of the underwear up and throw it into a garbage bag.

"You're not keeping any of it?" Oliver asks just to make sure.

"Just these." I fling my slutty panties that go with my Halsey top onto the bag. "Besides I have underwear back home." I reassure him. "Underwear I think you would approve of." I wink seductively at him. He growls and pounces on me locking our lips in a lustfilled kiss. We then completely forget about packing and got lost in each other.

~

I knock on Lizzy and Kade's door. Lizzy opens looking a bit groggy.

"Morning." I chuckle at her.

"What are you wearing?" She grumbles and rubs her eyes.

"Doesn't matter. Gina's here to take you to a spa. Off you go." I lead her gently out the door and nudge her towards Gina's awaiting car.

"But I need…" she starts but I cut her off.

"To get in Gina's car." I nudge her a bit more. She mumbles a mkay and climbs in the car. Gina waves before heading off.

I go inside their beautiful house and head straight to the kitchen. I set my basket down on the counter, kick off my flip flops and leave my shorts on the floor next to my flops. I turn the oven on and take everything out of the basket. I pop the CD into the stereo (only Kade still has a stereo in his kitchen). Nickelback starts playing and I turn it up. I start mixing all the ingredients when Kade stumbles into the kitchen in his boxers.

"Lizzy what's…" he stops dead and looks at me standing his kitchen like I was when we were 16.

"So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know You're never gonna be alone From this moment on." I sing with the music with a grin across my face.

"Those better be w**d brownies." He laughs with me. We spend the next hour laughing and jamming out to Nickelback. We finished the whole pan and I'm emotional when I'm high.

"I'm sorry I just left." I mumble while we sit on the kitchen floor.

"Honestly I was just jealous that you had the guts to leave." He sighs.

"You want to leave?" He nods at my question. "Then leave. If I've learnt one thing it's that you have to live for you not for everyone around you. What does Lizzy think?"

"Lizzy wants a life like yours but neither of us have the balls to do anything about it."

"Then come with me when I leave." I say confidently.

"If." He corrects.

"When. I'm leaving here the moment my 'deal' is up." I spit the words. "You can come live in my guest room."

"That sounds perfect." He leans his head on my shoulder.

"Then I need to make a phone call and tell Misa you're coming. She'll be over joyed." I kiss the top of his head and stand to go tell Misa there's going to be an extra addition to the family.