CHAPTER THREE | BETRAYAL FROM MY LOVE
1939 Words
The days go by fast, and suddenly it is Friday. It is today that I am going back to the therapist. I have had a lot of time to think since our meeting, a lot of thoughts that snuck into my mind that I did not notice before. For the first time in a long time, I am nervous, stepping into her office.
Afraid of what kind of practice we're going to do today and what memories I'm going to have to dig out of my mind. She sits ready in her armchair with a smile on her face and a notepad in her lap.
"Hello, how are you today?" she says calmly to me.
"I do not know; after our last meeting, there has been very turbulent within me," I say with a sigh and sit down.
"Why do you think you feel that way?"
Yeah, why do I feel that way? I don't know. But I know she won't settle for that answer. Therefore, I quickly think out what to answer her question.
"I don't know exactly why, but I suspect it has something to do with us just beginning to delve into my repressed memories."
"That's what I think, too. You have to learn to release the control you have over your memories and let them bubble up to the surface. We will never be able to reach the bottom of your problems if we do not remove the distinct that is in the way," she says and nods co-retention.
"I know, doc, I just... I don't know how," I told her sincerely with unshed tears in my eyes.
"One day at a time. Can you tell me about the first time you met him?" she puts her hand over mine and smile gently at me.
*FLASHBACK*
I walked in the hallway, frantically looking for my locker. When I looked down on the note I had in my hand; I did not see the person in front of me who I accidentally walked right into.
"Oh, my God! I'm so so sorry!"
"It's okay."
His dark green eyes were staring back at me. Dark blonde curls surrounded his face, and his sharp cheekbones made him beautiful. My eyes were stuck on him; I couldn't or wanted to look away from him. His plump lips move upwards, and his white teeth sparkle as he smiles at me.
"I'm Jake."
"Nice to meet you, Jake," I said shyly.
He chuckled, and his dimples were showing. God, he was the ultimate embodiment of a god!
"What's your name?"
I opened my mouth to answer when a guy called Jake from the other side of the hallway.
"Jake, come on! We're going to be late."
"Later, sweet pea," Jake said and smiled at me.
He turned and walked away from me with those words, leaving me flustered with a red face of embarrassment. How could I drown like that in his eyes and not even understand how embarrassing I behaved?
I shook off my thoughts and feelings to return to the search for my locker. Three girls stood outside a door that I guess led to a toilet. I walked up to them.
"Excuse me, do you know where I can find locker 326?"
The blonde girl turned to me with a grimace over her face. Her dark brown eyes penetrated me and showed nothing but disgust.
"Who the hell are you, and how dare you interrupt us in our gossip?"
My eyes were drawn together in confusion; why did she act as if I had disturbed them when they were a second away from solving world hunger?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. You were the closest, and I thought you might know where it was. Never making that mistake again," I answered with rolling eyes and sarcasm pierced in my voice.
I ignored their angry looks and walked up to a couple of guys standing at the exit. Maybe they could help me without acting like bitches.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering if you could tell me where to find locker 326?"
They pointed out the way I should go, and I thanked them before I left. Once at my locker, I put my books in a neat pile, except for my math book that I had under my arm. I needed it now because my first lesson was just math. With the book and my pen box in hand, I started my mission to find the right room.
Unlike other schools, these lesson halls had patches set up with which subject was held in the rooms instead of numbers that most other schools used. It was apparent that the lesson had begun, and therefore I decided to knock on the door to avoid disturbing more than necessary. A tall, slender man with gray hair opened the door and smiled at me.
"You must be the new student, welcome."
"Thank you," I answered quietly.
"You can sit down next to Jake in the back."
I did as I was told, glad that I would not have to stand and introduce myself to the whole class. Jake smiled at me when I sat down next to him.
"Hey, sweet pea," he whispered and smiled at me.
Before I quickly opened up the book to the right page, I smiled at him and shifted my focus to the teacher. Mathematics was one of my most vital subjects at school. I have always had easy for math and was, therefore, still an A student. I was that in all topics, really, my parents demanded it.
No matter how hard I thought it was, it was much harder to face, above all, my mother's disappointment. My dad wasn't easy to deal with, no matter what situation it was about.
"Please begin."
My brain was wholly focused on the numbers before my eyes. My hands worked utterly to figure out digits after digits until the school bell rang as an indication that the lesson was over. I slowly packed up my things and got up to get out of the room when someone knocked me on the shoulder. I turned around and stood face to face with Jake.
"What's your next lesson?" he asked and looked down at my schedule.
"Advanced English," I answered, and he chuckled.
"I have that subject too. Do you know where you're going?"
"No, it's my first day. It just took me time to find my locker this morning."
"Why didn't you say so? I could have helped you."
"I was on my way to do that, but your friends called for you, and you got away before I got the opportunity to ask," I said, and he looked ashamed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to run away so fast. I'm in trouble in math, which is why I had to be there in time."
"Why are you having trouble?"
"Are you kidding? It's tough!" he exclaimed, and I giggled at him
"It's not at all difficult when you understand it."
"Are you good at math?"
"Well, it's "my" topic, so to speak."
"Will you help others?"
"You mean like a tutor?"
"Yes."
"No, I've never done it and never been asked."
"I'm asking you now. Can you help me?"
"Let me think about it."
"Okay, fair enough."
The rest of the day passed by as in a blur. Now I was in the parking lot waiting for my dad to come to pick me up. I feared having to have him here, but it was too far for me to walk home, and I didn't feel ready for the school bus yet. A black Mercedes Benz came riding in my direction in sick sack. Oh, no...
He jumped out of the car and walked with quick steps up to me. His eyes were black with anger. I knew I'd be the one to pay the price for his temper. He would hurt me like so many times before, even though I had done nothing to deserve it. He took a firm grip on my hair and threw me onto the ground.
He screamed that I had ruined his life the day my mother gave birth to me. Tears fell down my cheeks as I was preparing for the punches I was about to get.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" someone roared behind me; I closed my eyes and was still terrified to move.
"I own her and can do what the f**k I want with her!"
"How can you say that you own another human being? She's not an object!"
"No, she's not even worth being called an object. She's just a disgusting and dirty wh-"
He was interrupted by something that sounded like a blow. He screamed out in pain. I could hear him stumble off to the car.
"Just wait until you get home!" he screamed at me.
He alternated the engine and shone away. I kept lying on the ground; the humiliation kept me as chains down on the ground, where I belonged. A hand lay over my shoulder, and I gently opened my eyes to see who it was. Jake looked down at me and smiled sadly.
"Hello, sweet pea."
The shame and sadness of how my own father treated me took over. I broke out in sobs. He held me next to his chest and patted me over his back.
"Everything will be alright, darling, that's my promise to you."
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"I'm sorry. That was a very emotional memory you told. The hatred of how your father treated you and the concern of how Jake treated you must have been very confusing," my therapist says and wipes her eyes with a tissue.
"It was. But that's also one of the most important memories I have. Someone stood up for me, and he helped me pick up the broken pieces. Jake did a lot of good in my life, that's also why it hurt me even more when I found out that he was the one who would hurt me the most in the future. With a clear conscience, I can say that Jake is both the best but also the worst that has ever happened to me."
"I can see that. Jake did quite an impact on your life."
"That he did. It's just tragic that someone so handsome as he is, is also that f****d up," I say and shrug, which she returns with a sad smile.
"The time is up for the day, but I want to book you another appointment for next Tuesday. Does that work?"
"Every day works as long as it's in the afternoon, because of my work."
"Good, then I will see you next week. Take care."
I leave the office and head for the elevator. I walk out of the building right into someone. An 'oof' can be heard from me when the muscular chest strikes my body.
"I'm really sorry, ple... Wait, it's you, cafe girl!"
I look up at the man; it is the same man who entered the cafe I work a few days earlier. I smile, embarrassed.
"Hi."
"This is indeed a coincidence! How are you?"
I wanted to say that everything was fine, but after the agonizing memory I talked about with my therapist, I was anything but okay. He must have seen it on me.
"Do you want to go have a coffee, talk a little?"
With tears in my eyes, I nod. He takes my hand and leads me towards Starbucks around the corner. Holding his hand warmed me up from the inside. Maybe it's worth that risk after all...
A/N:
Hello everyone!
I just want to say that everything regarding Jake is based on real-life experiences with an ex of mine, and the dark thoughts are real, from my diary from the teenage years. Many have asked about this for some time now, so I decided to tell you all. Wendy is also based on myself, with thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Please let me know what you think about the chapter! Lots of love!<3
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